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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 06:43 PM
Jeri 11 Apr 12 - 06:24 PM
Acme 11 Apr 12 - 06:12 PM
Bill D 11 Apr 12 - 06:03 PM
MMario 11 Apr 12 - 06:02 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 05:55 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 05:53 PM
Acme 11 Apr 12 - 04:55 PM
Richard Bridge 11 Apr 12 - 04:25 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 04:22 PM
gnu 11 Apr 12 - 04:14 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 04:12 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 03:59 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 03:55 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 02:08 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 02:06 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 01:45 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 12:50 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 12:48 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 12:41 PM
GUEST,Kassogtha 11 Apr 12 - 11:47 AM
Ebbie 11 Apr 12 - 10:47 AM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 10:06 AM
Dave Hanson 11 Apr 12 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 12 - 08:21 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 12 - 06:49 AM
Megan L 11 Apr 12 - 05:38 AM
Musket 11 Apr 12 - 05:20 AM
Janie 11 Apr 12 - 12:14 AM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 11:41 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 07:10 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 04:44 PM
Bill D 10 Apr 12 - 04:26 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 03:54 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:30 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:28 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:27 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM
Will Fly 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 03:03 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:56 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:50 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 01:58 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 01:44 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 Apr 12 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 12 - 09:48 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:43 PM

BillD - "Is it inherently possible that rhetorical questions can be used to obfuscate the consideration of relevant societal concerns in such internet fora as this?"

I'm not sure, Bill. It may be possible. Many things, after all, are possible...although they may still not be terribly likely. What would you rate the probabilities at on this one?

Have we just seen the denouement of the denuoement of all BS threads? Or haven't we?

How can anyone sleep until we find out for certain???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Jeri
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:24 PM

Stilly snagged 44444. Curses!
The fonts have to translate to the other people's computers. I'm pretty sure most Windows users have Comic Sans, but do Macs translate it? Does Linus? (or Lucy or Charlie Brown or Schroeder, for that matter). If I have a really serious computer, it probably won't understand "comic" anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:12 PM

LH certainly has a novel way of bringing new blood into the old thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:03 PM

Is it inherently possible that rhetorical questions can be used to obfuscate the consideration of relevant societal concerns in such internet fora as this?


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:02 PM

LH - MOM is weeping over this thread and you know how upset she gets when her gin gets diluted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:55 PM

Then, sir, why do you grace them with your inept efforts at imitation?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:53 PM

Jeez, you broke-dick mammalucca, cancha do somp'n productive? This stuff is BS to such an exponent as to lose all tangibility, all connection with the spirit of good BS. I try and try an try an where does it get me? I might as well be talking to a wall, I swear.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:55 PM

I prefer comic sans ms for BS, but it isn't the default in my browser. Several years ago I set my browser to use that as the default for a while, and got tired of looking at it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:25 PM

43?


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:22 PM

Oh! Such lack of faith!


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Subject: RE: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:14 PM

No.


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Subject: BS: The denouement of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 04:12 PM

Could this be it? Could this be the one thread that finally and completely unites, summarizes, and provides the answers to all the vexing questions that have been raised in all the other BS threads that have ever been launched on this forum? Could this be the one thread that resolves them all?

Could it????

If so, it could mean the end of BS as we know it!

Tune in every hour on the hour to find out the stunning truth and share in the culminating revelation of all that is BS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 03:59 PM

Better, I think, than thine own specious ramblings, sir, which are as bits of fluff drifting in a gentle breeze, mostly just tedium, and alike, no substance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 03:55 PM

The font of all BS is akin to the Fountain of Youth, Amos. Men ever seek it, yet they do not find it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 02:08 PM

YEt you cannot name the font of all BS, or dare not. I, whose heart is pure, have the strength of ten therefore, and name it without fear:

Bookman Old Style 14


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 02:06 PM

Pish-tush and pshaw to your puerile imitations, Sir Hawk. They are as dross in a high wind, all excitement and no substance.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 01:45 PM

Amos plunges ahead, committed to folly and entirely enthralled by his self-promoting delusions of grandeur and his esteemed entitlement as a supposed inner acolyte and faithful servant of the Mother. His ashes will one day join those of others like him, mouldering under the dust of forgotten centuries and his memories will be lost in the wind that he inherits; thus will he pay the price of folly and be swept up in the timeless tribulations of entropy and darkness forever.

or...until his next lifetime! I predict he will be born as the son of a long-bearded and harsh Mullah in some small village in Afghanistan. He will grow up under stern direction, becoming deeply devout, and will devote the rest of his years to destroying invader infidels, keeping women behind the veil, resisting all forms of innovation, blowing up symbols of western decadence, and venerating Allah in every way possible. That is...Allah will have replaced "the Mother", you see... ;-)

I, on the other hand, will have reincarnated as an idealistic Norwegian woman who takes up a career in art and music and has a simply marvelous time. ;-) Our paths will not cross in that lifetime. I've already paid off all that karma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:50 PM

Little Hawk plunges ahead, committed to folly and entirely enthralled by his self-caused plunge into ignominy and ill repute for having tourned his back on the Mother. His ashes will join the dust of centuries and his memories will be lost in the wind that he inherits; thus will he pay the price of folly and be swept up in the timeless tribulations of entropy and darkness forever.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:48 PM

I am being ware at this very moment, Amos. And what a lovely feeling it is! ;-) Everyone should be ware as often as possible, in my opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM

LH:

Thou dost mock, and yet knowest not that thou mockest. Such is the dark and bewildered fate of he who transgresses against the font of all BS. Beware, oh foolish mortal, beware.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:41 PM

Who are you addressing, Kassogtha? I don't recall mocking you. Are you acquainted with the Great Old Ones? Or dread Cthulhu? If so, I wouldn't dream of mocking you. The Necronomicon has made it quite clear that that sort of thing is unwise in the extreme!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kassogtha
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 11:47 AM

Do not mock Us, puny one, lest We devour you through all time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 10:47 AM

How things have changed. I remember when our Killing the Thread thread got killed for unwieldiness.

Now we will be watching for the magic moment when MOAB collects 44444 votes. Almost as exciting as watching one's dashboard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 10:06 AM

Wow. Impressive stuff, Rap. Keep in mind, though, which Mother we are talking about here. I have no quarrels with the Mother of All Being...that is, the Divine Mother, as spoken of in the Hindu traditions...or Mother Mary, as spoken of in Christianity, for example.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 09:38 AM

Fanny's your aunt and Bob's your mothers brother.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 08:21 AM

Look, even in the Cthäat Aquadingen it is written, "Thy Mother is thy Mother, and to abandon Her wilt bring upon thee the wrath of The Thing Without A Name, and It shall eat thy soul and purge it through Its awful body, and then thou shalt be picks up and thy Mother shall give thee a good shaking and throughout Endless Ages thou shalt be eaten and shat forth by That Without A Name."

This does not sound pleasant, but well, to each his own....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:49 AM

Look, LH. It's written in 4 Corinthians 36-38:
Do not annoy thy parents, especially thy Mother, for should thou do so thy time upon the Earth shall be nasty, brutish, and very short."

And in the "Tao T'chin" Lao Tzao said, "Your parents are your connection to Eternity. Do not offend them if you would achieve the Infinite."

Buddha wrote, "There is but One Mother for All and the All derives from that One Mother. This is the Greatest Wisdom and those who do not understand it shall be on The Wheel forever."

Every great thinker the World has ever known is against you. You are accumulating bad Karma and Mortal sins hand over fist. Your choice....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Megan L
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:38 AM

Now Little Hawk remember Granny Dom comes frae Bonny Scotland she is no Little Hawk but a flamin great Golden Eagle. As for uncle Tam weel he wis a riviter on the Clyde they wan day asked him to have a try at thon new fangled welding weel as usuall got a bit carried awa and cut the hull of 534 clean in half of course the pit her back thegither and never did tell Queen Mary her namesake had for a brief time been QM 1 and 2


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Musket
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:20 AM

Most kids where I come from had lots of "Uncles."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:14 AM

Ahhh.

It is good to know that some things never change.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 11:41 PM

Well, yes, Rapparee...I admit there is a danger that it could go that far.

But I really don't expect that it will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 10:22 PM

Think it over?


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Subject: My Cousin-In-Law's Girlfriend's Cousin of MOAB
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM

See? It could become "The Hairdresser of My Cousin-In-Law's Best Friend's Aunt's Great-Half-Uncle's Maternal Grandfather's Great-Aunt's Mother of All BS Threads" -- or worse.

STOP, Little Hawk, in the name of love!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 07:10 PM

Oh, for sure; having exposed yourself to the most profound and virulent calumnies known to Mom. Some kinda fun, I am sure. If you keep laughing up your sleeve like that you are likely to fall in, and THEN where will you be? Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 04:44 PM

No, Bill, he's much too humble and harassed a man to ever dream of posting here. He's been beaten down by the vicissitudes of life, living in a crummy town, and suffering through a bad marriage. He barely dares to life his head above the desk.

I just wanted him to have a brief moment of recognition, that's all. A brief hour of...well, not glory...but at least...acknowledgement?

gnu - You're quite right. Granny does wear army boots. Remember the "Hell's Grannys" skit on Monty Python's? She's even meaner than they were.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 04:26 PM

Oh lordy... we expect Uncle Harold to start posting now, I suppose...

Little Hawk, who seems to 'know' him, might have an inkling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:54 PM

Yer grandmother wears army boots. And, Uncle Harry was a mean drunk. Gramma could tell ya stories if she could remember thru her alcoholic haze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:30 PM

But, my good fellow, I am not experiencing any stress here. I am chuckling down my sleeve, I assure you. I am having fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:28 PM

that should read: "wields tremendous power"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:27 PM

It was Granny's thread, Will, not Auntie's. I'm sad to say that the more fanatical inmates of the Mother of all BS Threads prevailed somehow upon the management here (whether by bribery, threats, or collusion, I can't say) to subsume the Grandmother's posts into the Mother of All BS threads. A shocking abuse of power! ;-) However, those posts are still there in that thread, so Granny yet lives, I am happy to say. She wield tremendous power! This is why they fear her so. The Mother is a mere feeble noise in the wind compared to the Grandmother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM

A crock of a crock is still a crock, old son. Let Harold fade and crumble over the far edge of the radar screen. He drank too much for his own good, anyway.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Will Fly
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM

Hey, LH - what happened to Auntie's thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:03 PM

Amos has obviously bribed or otherwise influenced one of the moderators to combine the Grandmother of all BS Threads into this one. A cheap trick. A shoddy maneuver. One that would be taken only by the terminally insecure and hidebound sort of mentality...but...(shrug)...do I really care?



You are growing paranoid in your own delusions, my friend. I suggest a vacation for you, to re-center yourself and regain your composure. All this stress is threatening to deprive Mom of one of her most brilliant sprats, so please take the necessary steps to restore your familial equanimity.


A


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Subject: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:56 PM

This is the Uncle's Thread. The Uncle of all BS. Uncles don't tend to get much notice in this world. They are seldom mentioned, seldom much appreciated. This is sad.

So....this is the Uncle of BS's brief moment in the Sun. It may only last a minute or two. Maybe less!

Savour it while you can. ;-D

The Uncle of all BS is named Harold. Uncle Harold of BS. He is Mom's elder brother. He works as an accountant, and lives in Scranton, New York. It's not as bad as living in Schenectady! But still, pretty damn awful. His wife has little respect for him, and his kids barely know he's alive. His work is boring and repetitive. He has few friends. His dog loves him. His future looks like a lot more of the same, but what if the dog gets old and dies? Then what?

Spare a moment's thought and a prayer, for the unappreciated and unsung Uncle of All BS....poor Harold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:50 PM

Now, watch for further relatives of "Mom" to make cameo appearances. They too, after all, deserve their moment in the Sun! ;-) Even if it's only a very short moment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM

My "delusions", my good sir, occur by my own fully conscious choice, not by default. I am in control of them rather than they being in control of me. Therefore they are merely enjoyable fantasies that I play with, composed for my own amusement (and perhaps that of others), they are not dominating obsessions which place demands upon me. I wish I could say the same for the delusions of some others here. ;-) Note that it is those others who, for fear of damage to their particular form of delusion, insisted on recombining my independent thread into this one in order to preserve this one's supposed sanctity.

Who is more deluded? He who demands that another's freely expressed imagination be suppressed and proscribed or he who wishes merely to add his own imaginative views to those of others around him?

I have not censored any of you, nor would I if I had the power to. Some of you have chosen to censor me in a certain respect, by closing my thread and combining it into this one. Look to yourselves, therefore, for the erection of delusory defense mechanisms, not to me.

We all like to have fun, correct? ;-) But certain individuals here insist that the fun must only happen in the specific way that suits them. That's the problem with little dictators everywhere....they only see the humor in their own form of "fun"...and then pass a law or a decree to make it so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 01:58 PM

"your respective delusions" ???? Are you the pot or the kettle? Have you been smokin pot or makin tea with it? A fine kettle of fish I say!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 01:44 PM

Sure thing, BD. Calculus, right. I think you have to pass long division first.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 11:55 AM

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! I can't spend any more time here this week as I have a calculus test on Friday for which I must study, but good luck to all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 09:48 AM

And the ears to Stilly and Eisely. Olay!!


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