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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 10:44 AM
GUEST,Granny Dom 09 Apr 12 - 10:24 AM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 10:15 AM
khandu 09 Apr 12 - 10:09 AM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 09:35 AM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 12 - 07:47 AM
Amos 08 Apr 12 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 12 - 08:59 PM
Amos 08 Apr 12 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 12 - 08:37 PM
Little Hawk 08 Apr 12 - 07:09 PM
Acme 08 Apr 12 - 06:28 PM
Little Hawk 08 Apr 12 - 05:02 PM
Acme 08 Apr 12 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 12 - 03:01 PM
gnu 08 Apr 12 - 01:50 PM
Amos 08 Apr 12 - 01:10 PM
Amos 08 Apr 12 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 12 - 06:50 AM
Acme 07 Apr 12 - 11:38 PM
gnu 07 Apr 12 - 10:52 PM
Little Hawk 07 Apr 12 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 12 - 09:08 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 07 Apr 12 - 06:49 PM
gnu 07 Apr 12 - 05:47 PM
Little Hawk 07 Apr 12 - 05:18 PM
gnu 07 Apr 12 - 02:40 PM
Little Hawk 07 Apr 12 - 01:43 PM
Amos 07 Apr 12 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 07 Apr 12 - 07:55 AM
Rapparee 06 Apr 12 - 09:11 PM
Amos 06 Apr 12 - 12:21 PM
Rapparee 06 Apr 12 - 08:26 AM
Acme 06 Apr 12 - 02:05 AM
Amos 05 Apr 12 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 12 - 07:42 PM
Little Hawk 05 Apr 12 - 04:54 PM
gnu 05 Apr 12 - 01:46 PM
Amos 05 Apr 12 - 12:42 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 05 Apr 12 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 12 - 10:11 AM
Rapparee 05 Apr 12 - 08:53 AM
Acme 05 Apr 12 - 12:00 AM
Rapparee 04 Apr 12 - 10:12 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 04 Apr 12 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 04 Apr 12 - 08:38 PM
Amos 04 Apr 12 - 07:30 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 04 Apr 12 - 07:28 PM
Acme 04 Apr 12 - 06:20 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:44 AM

Wi' Granny Dom here, there's little or nae chance that onyone will dare get oot o' line!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: GUEST,Granny Dom
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:24 AM

I will keep my eye on this thread indeed thon lad Little Hawk needs watchin. Anyone who disny BEHAVE will get skelped. NO lad I didny say Scalped nae matter how hairy ye are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:15 AM

Thank you, khandu, for lending your prestigious name to the GOABST. The fact that you have posted here should convince all skeptics that THIS, the GOABST, is the real deal, the ultimate in BS threads!

Granny has a nice cookie for you. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: khandu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:09 AM

I doth protest!
k


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Subject: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:35 AM

Yes! This long-suppressed thread has finally found its proper place in the Pantheon of Allmighty BS, and is the ultimate and crowning expression of the concept. It predates all other efforts of its kind, including (obviously) the well-known Mother of all BS threads.

Granny has arrived!

Feel free to post all sorts of meaningless drivel, solypsistic ramblings, and other pointless excess of that sort upon these hallowed pages. Knock yourselves out.

But try to keep tasteful! Granny is watching.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:28 AM

Tsk! When I think of all the bad karma you are accumulating by this cruel harassment of Shane...a lad who is, after all, nothing more than an innocent victim of his own deprived family background...

Have you no compassion? In another life you may end up just the way Shane has, and then who will you blame for it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 07:47 AM

Shame can't light a bulb with a switch, Amos. I'm not worried about him burning ANYTHING when he can't even light a cigarette -- he's the only person in the world addicted to smoking filters and even then he has to get someone else to light them. He once "lit a fire" when he was about 16 years old and it frightened him so much that he ran away from it -- it was his own and he succeeded. He'd heard that song by the and thought he'd roast some marshmallows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 10:39 PM

If Shane tries to burn your house down for your remarks, Rapp, you can always accuse him of plagiarizing the Doors: "Come on Baby, Light My Fie-er"...

I'll get my hat.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 08:59 PM

I say fie as well.

Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie,fie, fie, fie, fie, fie upon such a stinky bad idea!

Have you no shame?






(If you don't I'll lend you some as I have plenty to spare.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 08:49 PM

ANd the horse you rode in on.


Seriously, you of all people should understand that the MOAB is the Mother of ALL BS, and BS IS ALWAYS NEW!!!

Always.

You could go back to the first page of this thread and be completely delighted with the freshness and newness of each post.

We are not the scullions of dishwater you take us for, sirrah, and it reflects really poorly on your powers of discrimination that you choose tyo erect so puerile and groundless an array of accusations against your very siblings.

I say fie, really I do.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 08:37 PM

Well, LH, it's like this. Some of us ARE tied to the Olde Wayse and kinda like them. But, because you asked, 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110111 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100110 01100110 01100101 01110010 01100101 01101110 01110100 00101100 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00101110

Now, the rest of the paragraph is in binary and that's computer talk so it should be good and new enough even for you. If not, 6d 61 79 62 65 20 74 68 69 73 20 69 73 2e


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 07:09 PM

Oh, that's the "Mither" thread you're speaking of, Stilly. Well, I refreshed it, yes, but what I am suggesting is a whole new Mother of all BS threads thread...number 2, that is. I haven't launched it as yet.

And mainly, I'm just trying to tease Amos and Rapparee... ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 06:28 PM

That may be your view, LH, but I can't speak or even TYPE in a Scots' brogue, so I have to bow out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 05:02 PM

Amos - "today is a day for starting up, heading out, kicking in and going forth."

Yes! And for posting on a brand new MOABS thread instead of hanging around on this old one. ;-)

Instead, what do I see here? I see a bunch of stubborn old scribes and pharisees clinging tenaciously to their ancient, ossified habits and rules of order, bitterly and jealously defending long established traditions, resisting any form of innovation, change or deviation from their rote habits and daily rituals! Fools, I say! The world changes constantly, yet you insist on remaining the same.

And so has it ever been! 99% of the people on this Earth would rather do for the 100,000th time exactly what they have always done in the past. The mere suggestion of change disturbs them! Why...if anyone were to press the point, he might end up being arrested, accused of blasphemy, and then crucified like a common criminal. ;-D

Hmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 04:52 PM

Well Amos and Gary, it may be sunny and calm or snowy and muffled for raising the dead where you are, but here we are waking the dead with the din of the thunder and lightning.

I wanted the yard to get some rain, I need to finish weeding, but now I'll have to wait several days for it to dry enough to work in. [slaps forehead] Hope for a *little* rain, Get the dictionary definition of "gully washer." If the book has a photo, it's of the standing water in my back yard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 03:01 PM

It's quite lovely here, a fine day, and I'm not looking at the roots of the grass. But I must admit that when I arose this morning I really needed that coffee -- I felt like I'd been dead for three days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 01:50 PM

I got it better'n that, buddy. 8" of snow and now it's mixed with rain. GLORIOUS SNOW! on Easter Sunday! I don't have to go to SiL's for supper. There really is an Easter Bunny!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 01:10 PM

It is a glorious Easter Sunday morning in Southern California, the faint traces of sea mist having been lifted into theblue by a warming sun. In our neighborhood, every tree is alive with birdsong, and the air is warm and golden in morning light. If one had to rise from the dead, rather than the more sensible path of simply moving on to some other life, this would be the day to do it. If one wished, alternatively, to start an uprising against the crass oppressive mercantile imperialism of the British, this would also be just the day. Suppose one wanted, as an alternative, to set out walking down a handy road, intent only on keeping on going on until some fine and magic entanglement befell? This, indeed, would be just the morning for such an adventure. In all things kind to life, today is a day for starting up, heading out, kicking in and going forth.

A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 01:05 PM

Oh, Little Hawk, your foolish vanity has once again given birth to profound folly and unmoored mental highjinks of no merit. You should know by know, I think, that the most you ever call up in perusing our sainted Mother, is one page of posts with a huge mess of hyperlinks at the top of it. The burden you think you see in the glorious history of our Mom is imaginary, and no grounds for even the most addle-pated concern.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 06:50 AM

Thou hast been warned. Follow thy heart and be true to Mom, for should thou stray thou wouldst be struck by the back of her hand and cast into Utter Despondency; moreover, thou wouldst be sent to thy trundle cot without e'en a bowl of bread amd milk for thy evening sustenance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 11:38 PM

If you do it, a moderator will combine them. No way they'll tolerate two of these around here. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 10:52 PM

Oink you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 10:23 PM

I can't understand why you aren't all panting at the chance of posting on a brand new MOABS thread instead of returning daily to this overloaded and constipated exercise in sesquipedalian excess and verbal/intellectual redundancy. Could it be that like the proverbial pig, you've been eating from the same trough for so long that the possibility of change doesn't even seem possible?

And could that be why you guys down in the USA are still voting for the Democrats and Republicans too? ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 09:08 PM

Look to the past, Oh Smallish Raptor, and see the vast number of other threads called "The ________ of All BS Threads" that have fallen away. The burden is not heavy, the yoke is not great -- Mom can bear it (and so can the servers).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 06:49 PM

I wish everyone a Happy and Glorious Easter! Enjoy the rebirth of the Earth and the arrival of Spring's glorious floral display, the birth of the baby birds and animals, and the all wonders of God's creation!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 05:47 PM

Apparently, you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 05:18 PM

One post will only take up a tiny bit of the vast virgin land that will lie before us on the MOABS thread # 2. Think of it. It's absolutely intoxicating, like discovering a whole new world. Who will be the first bold adventurer to land on those untrodden shores?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 02:40 PM

Yeah, right. One post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 01:43 PM

I'm thinking of starting a Mothers of all BS threads #2, because I think this one is getting overloaded and top heavy, kind of like the Roman Empire in its last few hundred years.

It will also give you folks more scope to express yourselves. Think of the wonderfully refreshing feeling of all that BRAND NEW SPACE to BS in!!! The delight of a fresh, blank page upon which to type out your glorious thoughts! Ahhh.......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 11:41 AM

Obsessive-compulsive creativity--thousands of square feet in a single oval mouth.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 07:55 AM

That should be "1.27x10-23 square feet", not whatever I said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 09:11 PM

High above the might Portneuf River is a bluff, and on that bluff is a 1.27x10-23 eating and drinking establishment. It is called the "Idaho Legion Hovel" and it is decked out in Current American Eclectism as ambience. Apart from the tractors up blocks and the occasional howitzer or worsxe it has all of the ambience anyone could reasonably ask for.

There is a deck outside which overlooks the rail yards and which has more or less passed the city safety code. To sit out there and partake of "Cosi" Parkers fine meals of grits, kraut, pickled eggs, winter kimchee and brats a meal not to be forgotten. Diesel fumes from the UP yards below enhance the experience with their subtle perfume and a protective barrier of bullet-proof glass insures the safety of the diners.

People often go there to discuss pending divorces, relationship breakups, income tax audits, and similar matter of import and watch the sun set behind the landfill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 12:21 PM

High on the bluffs of Torrey Pines, in the golden glitter of a sun setting over the wide Pacific, stands a luxurious retreat called simply "THe Lodge". It house an elegant restaurant where the tables look out over the green of TOrrey Pines Gold Course and the far expanse of ocean. They have bustling, intelligent waiters and a grand wine list, first-rate entrees, and a beautiful ambience in which BBW and I dined last night in celebration of thirty-three years of marriage. We were all self-congratulatory and happy and full of warm affections. It was a really fine evening.

We went home afterwards, retired full and happy, and slept until morning, when we went back to work.


Sigh...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 08:26 AM

Could be that it dried out, I guess. Dried pink slime...hmmm...sounds like Shame...yeah, could be...he was pithed a couple years before he was born...that could well be the answer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 02:05 AM

Pink slime MIGHT have been a fuel but there are too many chemical additives, they act like a retardant. . . wait, that might be the answer right there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 11:40 PM

It's modern slang for the limp-wristed association, LH.

But Rapparee--isn't pink slime a kind of fuel?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 07:42 PM

...a lotta good land for growin' dope.

And look! They grew a great big one!!

Amos, there is no threat of Shame's brains catching fire because for a fire you need fuel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 04:54 PM

I never heard of the OBW Brigade before, Amos. Where did you get this information?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 01:46 PM

"Rapparee wouldn't piss in Shane's ear if SHane's brains were on fire.
"

Hahahashahaaa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 12:42 PM

SHame was a charter member of the Ontario Broken Wrist Brigade in his early teens, but he ducked back into the closet after a little girl spit at him on the playground.

Rapparee wouldn't piss in Shane's ear if SHane's brains were on fire.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 12:24 PM

You are so flippin' lame, man. I bet that you are a laffin' stock all over yer hole flippin' state, arentcha? ARentcha? I cannot see why I waist my valyable time tradin' insluts with you anyways cos it don't do no good. Nothin' will ever fix you. You was born a flippin' bolthole and you will die a flippin' bolthole. You are the kind that my antsestors would of done away with back in, like, the old coutnry where my fambly come from. That is Ireland, eh? My fambly came from Dangle, Ireland over by the caost. It is not that far from Dingle, but it is better than Dingle. Remember that name. Dangle. There been McBrides livin' around Dangle ever since...well, probly before Jesus, know what I mean? A loooong time ago. When the flippin' pottato famine come then a lot of us McBrides deecdied to seek our forchuns over in CAnada where there is a lotta good land for growin' dope. And that is why I am here, eh? Anyways, if my ansestors had had the chance then they woulda wiped yers right off the flippin' map! Too bad it did not happen that way. If it had, then you would not be here, eh? And that would be good as far as I can see.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 10:11 AM

Come to think of it, Shame has a perfumed lace hanky he uses to "slap" people with whom he disagrees. The perfume has an odor of violets, which is du rigor in Shame's circles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 08:53 AM

Well, I don't want to get Shame angry with me. He'd probably smack me a good one with his hanky and THAT hasn't been washed since 1934 when his great-grandfather passed it on to his son who passed it to Shame's father, from whom Shame stole it. That odor on it ain't perfume 'cause Shame sometimes runs out of toilet paper and...never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 12:00 AM

Tell us what you really feel about Shane, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 10:12 PM

Believe me, I wouldn't touch a McBride if a McBride were drowning in a cesspit filled with alligators and I was the only help to be had. I wouldn't touch a McBride if he, she, or it were dying and I was the only person who could save their life. I wouldn't touch a McBride to pull them out of quicksand. Yessir, I wouldn't touch a McBride to save their life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 10:05 PM

You are one sick flipper, Rapoop! I am glad you live so flippin' far away from Ontario, eh? Havin' you anywhere's near here would be very bad!

Yeah, I was in jail in Sudsy for a whiles, but they kicked me out. They said I was lowerin' the standards there and bein' a bad inflooence on the other prisners! I do not know what the flip they meant by that, but I am glad to be out, eh?

I am on probitation again. I gotta report once a week to the local cop shop and tell 'em what I am doin'. That is a pretty short story most days, so I am basicly out the door in, like, a minute or two. I brung them a old stale donut last week just for laffs. They did not think it was so funny and they would not acksept it. So I ate it myself.

This proves what I have always known. Cops ain't that smart!

- Shane

p.s. You asked about my buddies in jail? Yeah, there was a bunch of my old pals there, includin' regulars like Billie T, Ace, Homerun, Keesick, Jeff D, Mongo, Noodles, Pizza Brain, and Fasttrack. Snake is still there too, but he is NOT my buddy cos he tried to kill Don one time. NEVER touch the brother of a McBride!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 08:38 PM

I seem to remember that Shame took a trip a little while back. How WAS the jail, Shame? Did you see any of your old "buddies" in there? Surely you'd remember your "'ole friends", wouldn't you? Did you score any smokes?

Yes, I recently took a trip as well. We went to Southern Utah, Arizona (visited the Navajo Nation, in fact), a tiny bit of New Mexico, Southwestern Colorado, and Eastern Utah. My trip, however, was spent roaming around, seeing the sights, staying in motels without bars on the windows from which we could come and go as we pleased -- stuff like that.

Shame, remind me to tell you what the Apaches used to do to drunken fools like you. On second thought, you probably don't really want to know about being staked out in the desert with your eyelids cut off, do you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 07:30 PM

What? Who would go to Mary Land in such a season, still months from the Getaway? I am not even sure Maryland exists until September, anyway!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 07:28 PM

AHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 06:20 PM

I remember! Bill D's neck of the woods. Mary Land.


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