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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 20 Jun 11 - 02:32 PM
Amos 20 Jun 11 - 02:26 PM
GUEST,Hohk-Ptui 20 Jun 11 - 01:14 PM
Little Hawk 20 Jun 11 - 12:01 PM
Acme 20 Jun 11 - 11:37 AM
Little Hawk 20 Jun 11 - 10:43 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 11 - 10:42 AM
Amos 20 Jun 11 - 09:49 AM
Rapparee 19 Jun 11 - 11:39 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 11 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 11 - 06:53 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 11 - 06:45 PM
gnu 19 Jun 11 - 06:35 PM
Amos 19 Jun 11 - 06:03 PM
gnu 19 Jun 11 - 03:13 PM
Acme 19 Jun 11 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 11 - 11:24 AM
Amos 19 Jun 11 - 11:01 AM
Little Hawk 19 Jun 11 - 12:29 AM
gnu 18 Jun 11 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 11 - 10:18 PM
gnu 18 Jun 11 - 12:57 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jun 11 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 11 - 11:47 AM
Rapparee 18 Jun 11 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 18 Jun 11 - 11:44 AM
Amos 18 Jun 11 - 11:08 AM
Acme 18 Jun 11 - 10:22 AM
Amos 18 Jun 11 - 09:44 AM
Acme 17 Jun 11 - 11:20 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 11 - 10:46 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jun 11 - 10:43 PM
Amos 17 Jun 11 - 07:31 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 11 - 10:38 AM
Amos 17 Jun 11 - 01:29 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 11:04 PM
gnu 16 Jun 11 - 09:28 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Jun 11 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 16 Jun 11 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 08:00 PM
gnu 16 Jun 11 - 06:49 PM
Amos 16 Jun 11 - 06:14 PM
gnu 16 Jun 11 - 04:06 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 01:34 PM
Amos 16 Jun 11 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 11 - 10:07 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 02:32 PM

Rectalfy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 02:26 PM

Raparree, you misunderstand the meaning of Antigonish completely.

I refer you, for example, to this excerpt from a linguistic blog:

"I live in Nova Scotia, and "AntigoNISH" is correct. Nothing to do with being against "goNISH" - the name is from an indigenous word (in Mi'gmaw, more commonly known as Micmac, an Algonkian language). (The "-i-" in "ant-i-gonish" could be misleading - "AN-tigga-NISH" would be a better rough transcription)."

Your narrow-minded insistence on applying Latinisms to the MicMac language made you fair game for my sarcasm about being "against the deluvians", a polite way of calling you extremely old-fashioned or antedeluvian, a relative of Noah's, or of one of his passengers.

Now that we have sharpened your sense of humor appropriately, I would like to remark that Little Hawk is over-exerting himself if he needs any of us to praise his unarguable brilliance. He has a complete cast of characters who work all day long to do this for him. No sense being insatiable, now, is there?

(I say his brilliance is unarguable, not because it is well-established fact, but because many years of trying experience have taught me the futility of any such argument.)

Just ask the lazy Canuck beer-head, or the disorientated giant Hamster, or the pseudo-blueblooded teenage ne'er-do-wellette, or the psychotic simian, or any of his other cast of thousands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hohk-Ptui
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 01:14 PM

We are shamed because we did not return the Amos in the condition we should have. It was due to a new operator, who has been disciplined. We will soon remove the Amos for corrective probing and conditioning. This will rectify the errors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 12:01 PM

You were telling me how brilliant I am. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 11:37 AM

I think I posted last night, but it disappeared. It's like walking into a room and wondering why I went there - can anyone tell me what I might have been thinking?

Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 10:43 AM

Well put, Amos. I think we have opened up a can of worms here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 10:42 AM

"Ante" and "Anti" are not the same prefixes, Amos. But given your report cards you could hardly be expected to know that. But to put it in letters you can understand, one is "tent humpy cross funny-half-thing" and the other is "tent humpy cross stick-with-dot-on-top."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 11 - 09:49 AM

Well, this is again the pot calling the kettle "container". If you are going to protest on behalf of the Gonish, you have to answer up for your own miserable record oppressing the deluvians.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 11:39 PM

I lived in Gonish areas for many years and I found them to be gentle, peaceful people who only rarely ate their young or pillaged their neighbors. If you do not like them, look within yourself and purge yourself of your fear of them. Then you can accept them when they come to slaughter you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 09:27 PM

Easy for you to say! You obviously have not had to deal with the Gonish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:53 PM

I went out today and bought a copy of "The New York Times" just for grits and shins. As I was getting back in the car, the wind snatched the paper and blew it into a neighboring cow pasture (yes, there really ARE such right in town) where a polled Hereford ate it. I was quite annoyed, but then I realized that I had news in beef.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:45 PM

Canadians are usually so nice, so I just don't understand their hatred of the Gonish. And to broadcast the fact by naming an entire town after their prejudice beggars the mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:35 PM

Take the T-Can and turn left at the lights eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 06:03 PM

Thus clearing highways all the way to Antigonish!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 03:13 PM

I had a big feed a yer baked beans with mOlasses last night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 02:36 PM

It has been a good weekend for a cleanout. You shoulda seen the stuff MOM has stashed in some of those cupboards out on the sun porch, and behind the sofa. Whew! There will be bags and bags out at the curb on trash day this week!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 11:24 AM

Yes, and since you need to adopt a "persona" I think I'll be a leper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 11:01 AM

I think the SCA is the perfect solution to the Rapparree COnundrum (which is also the title of my forthcoming book). It sums up all that is best and worst about the GRayte Manne himself, him being a creative anachronism himself of the first order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 11 - 12:29 AM

gnu - Ha! Ha! Ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 10:42 PM

Just keep yer head about it eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 10:18 PM

Well, I have returned to this century. After an afternoon -- a DELIGHTFUL afternoon -- with the SCA I had to return to the mundane.

There was everything you would expect and more. Lessons in calligraphy, medieval dance, and cooking. Music. Lessons in the use of the rapier, and I discussed (quire eruditely!) the difference between the Italian, English, French, German and Spanish schools of defense. Much of what the Master at Arms said made sense and the conversation was excellent, he allowing my points (pardon the pun) were also valid. No, I did not go armed -- only a staff and a dagger.

But there was much to see and do. The melees, the swordplay, the beheadings, the horsemanship, the children at the auto-de-fe, even the rackings and quarterings, were well done.

I'm even considering joining.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 12:57 PM

SRS... salesmanship...

"Nah, tha brakes work fine but the sensor is messed up. Of course, it could be the computer chip but I can't see how that could happen. If it's a deal breaker, I'll take $500, which would easily cover the cost of the sensor, off the price IF you take it today. Can't promise the same deal tomorrow. Take it for a spin, try the brakes, think it over and let me know."

I once (at Kmart when I was a teenager working in sporting goods) sold a complete fly fishing outfit... reel, rod, lines, flies, vest, waders, boat, motor, trailer and, most importantly, fly dope to a guy I met in the pharmacy department who was buying tampons. I said, "Buddy, yer weekend's shot so you may as well go fishing."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 12:22 PM

LOL!!! Nice breeze that day, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 11:47 AM

first one, taken during the launching party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 11:46 AM

That was my second boat. Here's a picture of my


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 11:44 AM

Yeah. It took me months and months to finish mine, but it was worth it. (I leave it in Boston.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 11:08 AM

Depends on how soon you 'spect to need it, I suppose. Build-your-own is the long, slow path to a boat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 10:22 AM

I read a story yesterday about a guy in the UK, I think, who collected 10,000 of the plastic color tops that fit on milk cartons (apparently they aren't recycled) and he melted them down and make a kayak from them. I need a little boat for the creek out back - but maybe I should just build a raft of plastic milk jugs. What do you think?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 11 - 09:44 AM

My mother always told me "THere is none so double blind as he who will not double see." Are you seeing double?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 11 - 11:20 PM

Ah ha! I see another large number came and went.

Gnu, the brakes did work. But selling a truck with the brakes dash light on isn't a go around here, if I made that choice. I had to go to the dealer, and this was the computer for the ABS. Not a lot I could do about scrimping, though when it was the gas tank sensor I told them to turn it off and I keep track of my fuel with the trip feature on the odometer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 11 - 10:46 PM

There is no frigate like a book
To take us worlds away,
Except perhaps friend Amos' mind --
A study yclept "double blind."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 11 - 10:43 PM

LOL!!!!!! Oh, what scurrilous assaults upon Chongo's character! The humanity! Or lack of same...

Just you wait.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 11 - 07:31 PM

Oh, give a cheer for Rapparree,
From common duties all now free,
And now that he's become retired,
His agile mind becomes inspired!
No more as Booque Manne will he travel;
He wanders 'round in psychobabble!
And like a zany news list troll,
Post wild assertions on the soul,
The mind, the sex of human beings
And other things he thinks he's seeing.
But do not bark or get annoyed
For Rapparree's no Doctor Freud
No Rogers, and no Doctor Jung
So let's chip in an buy a bung
To place within the orifice
He uses for such screeds as this!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 11 - 10:38 AM

Chongo's treatment of his mother and sister are evidence of gender identification problems. These problems are also evident in his treatment of women, obsession with firearms as problem-solving tools, and his general tough-guy attitude.

Freud would suggest that he fears that he is sexually inadequate and therefore must constantly "prove" himself. Modern diagnosis would say that his problems stem from a failure to accept that he is, actually, female and a transgender operation is in order.

He should be aware that such psychological stress, especially at the levels he demonstrates, inevitably lead to Type 2 Sponamp of the appropriate appendages and organs, with the body immediately beginning to produce the necessary hormones to bring "him" in line with his true sexuality. Genetic changes also occur.

In short, any minute know HIS business will fall off and "he'll" become fully female. The impact of this upon his psychological makeup will be immediate, as it will bring prompt relief. The impact upon his socio-econo-enviro-cultural matrix may well be a different story. I would not suggest, for instance, that he continue smoking cigars. Few males like girls who chomp cigars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 11 - 01:29 AM

A jolly walker is someone of the female persuasion who engages in the commercial trafficking of physical favors and encounters prospective customers by walking the streets of a city or town; a street-walker, proskirt, roundheels, hooker, harlot, loose woman or tramp.

Chongo's sister used to be one, until she promoted herself to Madame.

She has never forgiven that flea-bitten good-for-nothing slacker of a two-bit sub-simian flatfoot for the way he treated her and their mother. Nor will I, for the way he treated the Forty-One of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 11:04 PM

Preliminary studies show conclusively that Type 2 Sponamp is very common among chimpanzees. See Bosch, Pisht, et al., Rev. Prim. Stud., New Series, vol. 247, First Quarter 2011, p. 238ff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 09:28 PM

Yer bananas are green with envy. Big peel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM

Hmmm. 41,000. How about that?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM

Notice how it's hard to get good bananas at a good price lately?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:22 PM

By the way, I knew a guy whose business fell off too. I told him to use protection if he was gonna go with them cheap proskirts all the time. He didn't listen. The rest is history.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:20 PM

I keep waitin' for one of you bozos to post somethin' that, number one....makes sense.

And number two...is worth respondin' to.

So far all my waitin' has been in vain.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 08:00 PM

That should be JOLI Walker -- Johnny's twin sister.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 06:49 PM

What's a jolly walker? Even google doesn't provide a definition.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 06:14 PM

That happened to a girl I know who was under a lot of stress because she worked as a jolly walker in the Streets of Austin. It went against her grain but she had to make a living.

Anyway, her business fell off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 04:06 PM

SRS... you should post about such things as the ABS light being on. Mine came on three weeks after the warranty expired and I drove my truck for 11 years and Ford gave me a good price on the trade-in. Fact is, if the brakes are working it's the sensor that's messed up and that don't cost no $1300. ABS is not required by law here anyway. And we have a lot more icey weather in which ABS is a good thing than you have.

Take a look at the inspection report... does it have a checklist box for the ABS? Mine does not have one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 03:37 PM

There are two types of spontaneous amputation. One is caused by an untreated pathological condition, such as diabetes or gangrene. In fact a case of spontaneous gangrenous amputation in New York City was reported in a recent issue of the Archives of Surgery; it was notable because the condition had remained unreported and untreated for six months in a large city.1

However another class of spontaneous amputation (called "sponamp" by the medical profession) has long been recognized but, like the proverbial "crazy Uncle Harry" has not been discussed or studied. This type (which has two sub-types) occurs in otherwise healthy people and until recently, as noted above, was neither studied nor discussed. The June issue of Zeitung der seltsamen medizinischen Studien has changed all that.

The first type of sponamp (or "Type I") was long considered to be caused by evil spirits or demonic possession. Studies at the Frankfurt-Hochschule der unverschämten medizinischen Studien have taken another look at these assumption and have found that sponamp is probably an auto-immune reponse. In simplified terms, the body "casts away" a part to which it has become allergic. No body part seems exempt, and in one case reported from an unnamed beach in France an umbilicus, propelled by an overabundance of flatulence, struck and killed a seagull over 100 meters distant. A genetic component is suspected and research is on-going.

Type II sponamp has a different cause. Type II seems to be the body's reaction of shame and disgust. In Type II, the part falls away because its actions have caused the rest of the body to reject it because of something it has done. This is sometimes called the "If You Don't Stop Doing That It Will Fall Off" type. In t the majority of cases the body part involved is the brain, followed by the mouth and lips. This seems to be particularly endemic among politicians and members of the media.

Types I and II sponamp are now thought to be far more common than previously suspected, primarily due to sociocultural factors such as the wearing of clothing.

Investigations continue at medical schools and research centers around the world.





1. Oh, go look up the references yourself!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 01:34 PM

Later today I hope to post my research into spontaneous amputation (including decapitation). I was kidding around at first, but found that it is a real, albeit infrequent, disorder.

More later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 12:18 PM

I am so glad someone is taking some responsibility for the Epic Paean to the Numbers of Mom besides me. Remember, it's not the quality of the lines, but their quantity which counts. How could you count quality, anyway? Pirsig went crazy just thinking about it!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 10:17 AM

Soon Mom will be at 41 kay,
And she will turn to me and say,
"You are the dearest, best of my sons:
Now get to the bathroom, for you have the runs."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 11 - 10:07 AM

Amos, lead oxides to white, not green. If your balls are turning green they're contaminated with copper or mold and you shouldn't have left them get all moldy.

Yes, I took a drive out the Uprising way. It was actually to see where it was going to be and to get me out of the house.

Today I take my car into the shop for the blower repair and tomorrow I take my wife's in for an oil job.

Life is not dull, anyway. Exhausting, frustrating, depressing, annoying, yes, but not dull.

Stilly -- I raise you two new pedestrian doors, a new patio door, and refurbishing another patio door. My ante is the costs of landscaping.... The water heater is a side bet.


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