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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 Jun 10 - 04:17 PM
MMario 11 Jun 10 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 10 - 02:43 PM
MMario 11 Jun 10 - 02:18 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 10 - 01:58 PM
Amos 11 Jun 10 - 01:49 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jun 10 - 01:32 PM
Acme 11 Jun 10 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 10 - 09:53 AM
MMario 11 Jun 10 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 10 - 10:00 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jun 10 - 09:12 PM
Amos 10 Jun 10 - 08:30 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 10 - 07:13 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jun 10 - 05:53 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 10 - 03:42 PM
Amos 10 Jun 10 - 03:31 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jun 10 - 02:20 PM
Amos 10 Jun 10 - 02:09 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 10 Jun 10 - 01:20 PM
Acme 10 Jun 10 - 01:09 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 10 - 11:13 AM
Amos 10 Jun 10 - 10:16 AM
MMario 10 Jun 10 - 09:23 AM
Acme 09 Jun 10 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 10 - 10:57 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 10 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 10 - 09:55 PM
Amos 09 Jun 10 - 09:25 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 10 - 07:48 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 10 - 03:59 PM
Amos 09 Jun 10 - 02:54 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 10 - 01:03 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 10 - 12:57 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 10 - 12:46 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 10 - 11:40 AM
Amos 09 Jun 10 - 11:36 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 10 - 11:07 AM
Amos 09 Jun 10 - 10:22 AM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 10 - 12:45 AM
Janie 09 Jun 10 - 12:15 AM
Eiseley 08 Jun 10 - 11:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 10 - 11:31 PM
Janie 08 Jun 10 - 10:29 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 10 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 10 - 08:03 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jun 10 - 05:02 PM
Amos 08 Jun 10 - 05:01 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 10 - 05:00 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jun 10 - 02:47 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 04:17 PM

Is the BMP still around? I'd like them to field some candidates for office.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 03:28 PM

Rapaire - those in the know in New England (TITKINE - a very old organization - the North American Chapter of TITKIE) have detailed records of the Boston Molasses Party.

It was a disaster without compare. There are recorded instances of families having to subsist on steamed white bread and bakeing their beans with a tomato sauce.....

it was horrible; just horrible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 02:43 PM

Yeah, but his "food fights" involved entire commercial bakeries, commercial egg farms, and tanks of molasses in Boston Harbor (you really bought that "they burst from the cold" story, didn't you?).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 02:18 PM

Then he got an additional 12 years for "inciteing to food fights"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 01:58 PM

If I remember aright, "Flap" did 3 to 5 years for getting into pay phones.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 01:49 PM

Not to mention "Little Hawks 125th Fugue for Disjoint Fantasia in Left and Right Brains".

If you are talking about "Flap" Jack Turner, I know him very well. Crazier'n a bedbug on account of trying to keep up with his brother Ted, with one big difference. Ted went into cell phones, and "Flap" went into pay phones.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 01:32 PM

Then there's the famous Dylan songs, "Like A Flipping Spatula", "Mister Spatula Man", and "Bob Dylan's 119th Spatula".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 01:23 PM

You guys don't know jack . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 09:53 AM

Anybody know the words to Lead Zeeplane's famous "Spatula To Heaven"? Or was that Deef Lowcard? Maybe I'm thinking of "Three Times A Spatula"...or "Ruby, Don't Take Your Spatula To Town".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 09:41 AM

Thank all the hairy little gods that we got off the subject of "chowder" made with tomato.....*shudder*

Some things just shouldn't be discussed in this or any other universe.


Spatula Clark is really getting a bit long in the tooth to be doing anything....and her voice is shot. It's no wonder she couldn't get FlapJack to rise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 10:00 PM

For everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a spatula, turn, turn, turn....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 09:12 PM

Ha! ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 08:30 PM

Yeah--she played opposite Flap Jack Tuner but she couldn't get a rise out of him.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 07:13 PM

Yes, it is part of the Axis of Unpleasantness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 05:53 PM

The dreaded Count Spatula! He's the Liechtensteinian version of Count Dracula. It is only fitting that such a classic figure of horror should emanate from the nation known as "The Sleeping Croissant".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 03:42 PM

Wasn't Spatula Clark in that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 03:31 PM

YEah--they tried to portray him as a gay young blade but it went kinda flat because it was sort of thin around the edges, which made the viewers flip.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 02:20 PM

That reminds me...anyone seen the new Count Spatula film?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 02:09 PM

We save those in case we need them for splattered freds removal. Plus, MMario wears them out flipping pterodactyl eggs in the Tavern when it is open. They have very hard edges, do pterodactyl eggs, and the spatulas just crumble after a dozen flips or so.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 01:20 PM

And what about ALL those SPATULAS?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 01:09 PM

for as the upgrade to a Vizio 42" should have read "for us the upgrade. . . "

There is a usual stepping down of old equipment, and an old one is moved out. There is a Magnavox in my bedroom that I watch maybe once a month that has only a coaxial imput, no plugs for video playing equipment, and it will go out the door this weekend. My son has a huge television for his video games, an old CRT from my next door neighbor. I don't know if he'll take that to school - it is so big, and takes up so much space, I don't know if he'll want it for his games. I'll let him tell me what he wants to do before I discard any, I guess.

I really need to clear a lot of stuff out of here. I've resisted suggesting that MOM join the de-clutter threads - she could overwhelm the gang with all of the descriptions of things she is tripping over around here. But who knows if she could let go of them. Like that collection of copper tea kettles. Does she really need 15 of them? She should have never done all of that garage sale shopping a few years ago.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 11:13 AM

We have four televisions scattered through the house. The one used the most is the 17" flat panel in my wife's office. It is also the only one of its sort in the house -- the rest are big ol' CRTs. Don't watch enough to make it worth changing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 10:16 AM

Huge like Amos might have? Ours is a rarely used medium sized to small TV. You must have me mixed up with Shatner, not an easy mistake to make, I might add. Before that we used an old RGB monitor which had great color but was about 14" corner to corner.





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jun 10 - 09:23 AM

"chowder" with tomato ?!?

How inhumane!

No wonder it has been banned by the Geneva Convention (and Martha Stewart)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 11:37 PM

Hey, MOM! Sorry I have been away for a couple of days, but hey, I'm gainfully employed. Sometimes I have to step away from the computer.

And yesterday we set up the new telly. Not huge like Amos might have, or Chongo might dream of, but still, for as the upgrade to a Vizio 42" 1080p LCD HDTV is wonderful. We can be the deer in the headlights in our own livingroom now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 10:57 PM

Especially since they were making the "chowder" with tomatoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 10:47 PM

What a shocking misuse of marine life!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 09:55 PM

Clam breath, LH. It's the source of Mustard Gas. When the clam shells are closed they fill up with the gas. During WW1 people fired the gas-filled clam shells at each other using trebuchets and ballistae. The other side would find the clam shells and pry them open to make chowder, which of course released the deadly gas inside. It's really clam breath; you only think it's 1,5-dichloro-3-thiapentane.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 09:25 PM

MUSTARD gas shells, Little Hawk. Not CLAM shells. Military shells that unleashed huge clouds of Chongo-breath on the brave but doomed men who waited for their deaths.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 07:48 PM

What??? How does mustard gas get inside a clamshell?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 03:59 PM

The most recent use of mustard gas was off Long Island. Some clammers netted a few shells; one broke open and a crewman is in the hospital with blisters and breathing problems. The rest fell back into the sea. Apparently the oceans hold quite an arsenal of various munitions, including Sarin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 02:54 PM

I doubt even Rapaire would stoop to kissing Chongo--don't forget, he has military training in the use of gas masks and recognizing the faint oder of Boche mustard gas. His survival instincts would make it impossible for him to get close enough to kiss Chongo.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 01:03 PM

Oh, I see. ;-) Clever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 12:57 PM

I meant my liquor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 12:46 PM

"Lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine!"

Sounds like you won't be kissing Chongo any time soon...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 11:40 AM

One must test one's mettle against the worst in order to assure one's self that one can, indeed, overcome all obstacles. Besides, I've lived in an Army barracks.

Should I tell the planners of my enuresis or just surprise the person in the bottom bunk?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 11:36 AM

On the other hand, you have never been to the Getaway, also known as the Moral Charybdis.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 11:07 AM

I don't drink any more, Amos. Liquor is the Scylla upon which so many, many lives have been wrecked; so many happy homes destroyed; so many children left standing in the cold and snow outside the barroom door waiting for their fathers. Lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 10:22 AM

All I will say is that there are stains, and then there are stains, and Rapaire is no newcomer to the subject of staining in every sense, direction, style and kind. Common civility forbids me starting a list of the many ordinary domestic objects that have been part of his long and varicolored career in this regard, including certain moral stains that seem semi-permanent.

But be at peace, for that which will not come out in the wash will probably come out in a predawn revelation under the kindly influence of Bacchus at the Getaway.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 12:45 AM

It doesn't sound big enough to hold William Shatner's ego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 12:15 AM

*chortle!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 11:41 PM

Location of Rapaire's Treasure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 11:31 PM

It would be a perfect size for an elf or the egos of Certain People I Could Name But Won't. Actually, I intend to fill it with gold and jewels and bury it in some remote location. I need a volunteer to guard it throughout eternity except from me, but then I'll have to get killed or forget where I buried it. Eventually a scrap of a map I'll draw will be found and lead to all sorts of excesses as people try to find it. Someday someone will wise up and use something like ground-penetrating radar or sheer luck and end up wealthy beyond their wildest dreams except that the government will take it all in taxes.

I know where I'm going to bury it, too. Here's a hint: third star from the right and straight on 'til morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 10:29 PM

Building your own coffin? But you just retired....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 08:58 PM

Well, Mom, the first stain is on the outside of the box, excluding the lid. Red oak, and it looks pretty good so far. Of course it WOULD, considering the artisan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 08:03 PM

All of them -- presentation copies by the author to my father, who was the model for Chandler's detectives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 05:02 PM

What he wants to know is, do you have any first editions of the Raymond Chandler novels in good condition?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 05:01 PM

I'd be careful about not letting things get too chongo'd up while you are away attending to legal matters, Rapaire. But thanks for the brave (if somewhat delusional) confession. Now if we could only get Bobert to come clean about that herbal wholesaling amphibious operation...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 05:00 PM

Chongo wants to read my copy of The Sagas of Iceland? Or is he after my autographed copy of The Crass Menagerie?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 02:47 PM

I, for one, am ecstatic! You were wise to come forth with this information and make a clean breast of it, Rapaire. Your soul will be the better for it. After a suitable period of incarceration, giving you time to medidate upon your sins of the past, I expect you will emerge a changed man, a man filled with compassion and a desire to assist the poor and downtrodden. In the meantime Chongo can keep an eye on your property and make sure the library is put under good management.


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