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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 14 Jan 10 - 06:15 PM
Rapparee 14 Jan 10 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 14 Jan 10 - 03:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jan 10 - 03:22 PM
Little Hawk 14 Jan 10 - 01:55 PM
MMario 14 Jan 10 - 01:50 PM
Acme 14 Jan 10 - 01:44 PM
Rapparee 14 Jan 10 - 01:42 PM
Little Hawk 14 Jan 10 - 01:37 PM
Amos 14 Jan 10 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 14 Jan 10 - 11:08 AM
Acme 14 Jan 10 - 11:03 AM
MMario 14 Jan 10 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 14 Jan 10 - 09:18 AM
Acme 13 Jan 10 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 10 - 06:02 PM
MMario 13 Jan 10 - 04:09 PM
Acme 13 Jan 10 - 03:32 PM
Amos 13 Jan 10 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 10 - 03:26 PM
Amos 13 Jan 10 - 03:15 PM
MMario 13 Jan 10 - 01:50 PM
Amos 13 Jan 10 - 01:45 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 10 - 01:22 PM
MMario 13 Jan 10 - 12:13 PM
Acme 13 Jan 10 - 12:12 PM
Amos 13 Jan 10 - 12:04 PM
Little Hawk 13 Jan 10 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 10 - 09:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 10 - 05:46 AM
Little Hawk 13 Jan 10 - 01:00 AM
Acme 13 Jan 10 - 12:47 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jan 10 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 10 - 09:00 PM
Amos 12 Jan 10 - 07:49 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 10 - 06:53 PM
Amos 12 Jan 10 - 06:38 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 10 - 01:57 PM
Amos 12 Jan 10 - 01:57 PM
MMario 12 Jan 10 - 01:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jan 10 - 01:48 PM
Amos 12 Jan 10 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 10 - 01:35 PM
Amos 12 Jan 10 - 01:33 PM
MMario 12 Jan 10 - 12:33 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 10 - 11:40 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jan 10 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 10 - 09:36 AM
MMario 12 Jan 10 - 09:03 AM
Acme 12 Jan 10 - 01:54 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 06:15 PM

This too shall pass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 06:12 PM

After finishing "A la recherche du temps perdu" I got diarrhea.

The post-Proust poops, you might say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 03:26 PM

Proust-positive, you might say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 03:22 PM

Well, I didn't know how to read before I started school. But once I learned, I attacked it with a vengeance. One day it was Alice and Jerry, the next day it was Remembrance of Things Past.

Okay, the Proust was actually used as a booster so I could reach my plate at the dinner table. I never really read it. But it was Proust just the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 01:55 PM

I don't know about you, Stilly, but I certainly have no doubt about it. I intend to keep talking here until Amos gives up and admits that I was right all along about all the things he and I disagree about. ;-) That could take many years. My way of surviving the rigors of this seemingly impossible task is to limit my own entries here to a chosen and valuable few, thus reducing my number of keystrokes, thus saving my energy.

Amos, on the other hand, has no self-control at all, he will blather on endlessly, and he is happy to post here 20 or more times a day, and often at great length. It stands to reason that he will run out of energy before I do. Thus I will win by default. ;-)

If, however, cruel fate causes me to kick the bucket before Amos does, I have stipulated in my will that certain parties take up the task of refuting Amos in my stead...for as long as it takes...and if they die, then they will delegate others to refute Amos until he is finally silenced and made to admit to the entire world how VERY wrong he is!

I'd go on further about it, but that would consume my valuable energy to no purpose.

Therefore I say, "Adieu for now."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 01:50 PM

Well, recalling the times I saw LH, live, in 3D (which I did...) he really wasn't verbose at all. In fact I recall him as being very quiet, and almost taciturn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 01:44 PM

Is there any doubt regarding the verbose tendencies of the group on this thread? ANY AT ALL?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 01:42 PM

Sirrah, I eschew verbosity as I would septicemic plague!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 01:37 PM

I had much the same sort of experience. It is what has made us three so verbose in later life, I suppose. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 01:25 PM

Me, too. In one of those life-changing decisions made in too little time, I was entered into second grade directly instead of going through first grade because of reading skill. I might have been a wholly different person but for that one afternoon's discussion between me mither and the principal, a charming bright-eyed silver haired lady named Ruth something.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 11:08 AM

I could read by first grade and I could also write my name in cursive. Naturally I was forced to read the "See Spot run" stuff and print, but when I got home I read and wrote.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 11:03 AM

Have you read To Kill a Mockingbird? That's one of the aspects of that book, Scout's reading, that always stuck with me. As a small child I wanted to learn and Mom kept saying "they'll teach you in school." My kids both read when they started school. My daughter read so well that she complained one day in 1st grade that her teacher had her copies of Shel Silverstein's books out of reach.

I sent a note to both the kindergarten and first grade teachers telling them my kids could read. In the first grade note for my daughter I mentioned that sometimes she would skip over a word she didn't know and the teacher misunderstood. A note came back "reading without comprehension is not true reading."

I set up a parent teacher conference and Moonglow sat in the hall while we talked. Then I called her in, and I had commented about the poetry books, so I asked if we could use one of those. (Teacher had simply never had children who could read those to themselves before.) Moonglow read out loud, clearly, without hesitation, and with great pleasure, Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out. Her teacher watched this child read and I could see the wheels turning. By the time she reached

Crusts of black burned buttered toast,
Gristly bits of beefy roasts,

the teacher knew she wasn't just learning, this child was an advanced reader.

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout
Would not take the garbage out.
She'd wash the dishes and scrub the pans
Cook the yams and spice the hams,
And though her parents would scream and shout,
She simply would not take the garbage out.
And so it piled up to the ceiling:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings,
Brown bananas and rotten peas,
Chunks of sour cottage cheese.
It filled the can, it covered the floor,
It cracked the windows and blocked the door,
With bacon rinds and chicken bones,
Drippy ends of ice cream cones,
Prune pits, peach pits, orange peels,
Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,
Pizza crusts and withered greens,
Soggy beans, and tangerines,
Crusts of black-burned buttered toast,
Grisly bits of beefy roast.
The garbage rolled on down the halls,
It raised the roof, it broke the walls,
I mean, greasy napkins, cookie crumbs,
Blobs of gooey bubble gum,
Cellophane from old bologna,
Rubbery, blubbery macaroni,
Peanut butter, caked and dry,
Curdled milk, and crusts of pie,
Rotting melons, dried-up mustard,
Eggshells mixed with lemon custard,
Cold French fries and rancid meat,
Yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat.
At last the garbage reached so high
That finally it touched the sky,
And none of her friends would come to play,
And all of her neighbors moved away;
And finally, Sarah Cynthia Stout
Said, "Okay, I'll take the garbage out!"
But then, of course it was too late,
The garbage reached across the state,
From New York to the Golden Gate;
And there in the garbage she did hate
Poor Sarah met an awful fate
That I cannot right now relate
Because the hour is much too late
But children, remember Sarah Stout,
And always take the garbage out.

And yet, with these skills, we read every evening at bedtime well into middle school, high school for Caroline, because they usually both listened. We read long novels, like the first 5 Harry Potter books, we read To Kill a Mockingbird, we read Frankenstein and we read lots and lots of poetry.

So, missing a goofy bunny wasn't a disaster for these kids. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 09:26 AM

My newphew was reading before he entered kindergarten - then he got into the school system and came home one night and asked me to read him a story....since he had been reading bedtime stories to *ME* for several months (qwe were working our way through 'The Hobbit', I believe) I wondered what the heck was going on....turns out his teacher had informed him he couldn't read because he wasn't old enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 10 - 09:18 AM

Shucks, we started with the "Morte d'Arthur" -- and I'm not joking about that. My mother was appalled when she found out I was reading it in college as part of a class in medieval lit. "What! I read that to you when you were five and six years old!" said she. By the time I was eight or nine I was reading Heinlein and Asimov, as well as Superman, Batman, and other comics. By twelve I was into "Mad" magazine and it's gone downhill from there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 11:26 PM

I think I went straight from Dr. Seuss books to stories about horses and from there to the Lord of the Rings and then onto Ray Bradbury and his ilk. No vapid bunnies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 06:02 PM

Hank the Cowdog is a great series. Kids love it, just like the Bunnicula stories.

Amos, of course, was never a child. On the other hand, I've never really grown up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 04:09 PM

Bunnicula was mucho pre-Rowling; though of course, post -Tolkein.

I think it was a "Reading Rainbow" selection - I know my 30-something nephew was very yong when he obsessed over it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 03:32 PM

Never heard of it. Did my children live deprived childhoods? Shouldn't have wasted time with Tolkien and Rowling, etc?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 03:30 PM


#11-Lost in the Dark Unchanted Forest

Hank starts out try to give Pete the Barncat a little scare, but to his surprise Pete turns out to be Sinister the Bobcat.

Following that mishap, Hank finds himself on a mission in the Dark Unchanted Forest to save Little Alfred. Hank loses his way and stumbles upon Madame Moonshine and gets trapped by Rip and Snort.

Will Hank find a way out and will he rescue Little Alfred?

On tape you will hear three more original songs:"Disorientation","I Love All Kinds of Stuff," and "The Storm."






Yes, I do. When I think of all the turds I have never sniffed I get quite upset.

And I am not "unread", merely "differently read", thanks be.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 03:26 PM

Amos, you miss so much.

Unlettered and ill-read...quelle dommage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 03:15 PM

"Bunnicula

At the movie theater, the Monroe family finds a rabbit in a shoebox, which they name Bunnicula. Harold the dog takes a liking to the new pet, but Chester the cat remains suspicious. Because of the odd fur markings and fang-like teeth, Chester suspects Bunnicula of being a vampire. When vegetables begin to turn up drained of their juice, Chester fears that Bunnicula will become a threat to people as well as vegetables. He first attempts to warn the Monroe family of the danger and then decides to take matters into his own hands by recruiting Harold to help him slay the rabbit (in various unsuccessful/inept ways). After Harold refuses to aide Chester any longer, the cat begins to steal Bunnicula's food and block him from the kitchen, cutting off the rabbit's food supply. Feeling sorry for Bunnicula, Harold brings him into the dining room to feast on the Monroe's salad. When Chester tries to stop him, the Monroes walk in and break up the fighting. All of the pets are taken to the vet. Bunnicula is diagnosed as being unable to digest solid food and is given an all-liquid diet, which satisfies Chester as he believes it will keep Bunnicula tame. But in the end it all works out just right..".


Wow, MM, I just realized how misguided I have been!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 01:50 PM

Heathen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 01:45 PM

Yore right, Rapaire, I wot not of no bunny vampire nor wish to. But the drip is not from compassion, I am sure. Try tracing back the green dots in your BVDs...for a clue.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 01:22 PM

Poor Amos. I drip compassion for those who haven't read the Bunnicula books. Or it just might be my nose dripping. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

He's probably never read about Hank the Cowdog, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 12:13 PM

Bunnicula
The Celery Stalks at Midnight
Howliday Inn

author is "Howe" (two authors, Deborah Howe and James Howe)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 12:12 PM

How are you doing today, MOM? Did the postman deliver your IRS forms? Are you going to take a deduction for each of the kids this year?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 12:04 PM

What books, pray tell, document the Vampire Bunny, Bunnicula yclept?


Hmmmmmm? What? Eh? I can't hear you./....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 09:48 AM

Well put, Rapaire. Compassion is the key.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 09:34 AM

Look, you have to explain things to Amos. He once heard Francis Bacon's quote that "some books are to be digested" and was forever banned from the public library for eating a dictionary. He thinks that every morning the city of San Diego turns on the lights and turns them off at night. He once reported a very slow, very bright UFO crossing the sky from east to west that was toasting the Earth with heat rays.

Be patient with him. He's worked hard these many years to reach the letter "E" in the alphabet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 05:46 AM

By coincidence, I happened across this passage a couple of nights ago while reading Ann Patchett's Bel Canto:

"By the middle of November, the garua had ended. It did not drift away. It did not lessen. It simply stopped, so that one day everything had the saturated quality of a book dropped into a bathtub and the next day the air was bright and crisp and extremely blue."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 01:00 AM

Amos, I find the Sea Cucumber and the common Garden Slug far more boring than the concept of the Vampire Bunny.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 10 - 12:47 AM

Reading on the toilet is okay, but not it the tub.

Got it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 09:53 PM

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

NO BOOKS IN THE BATHTUB!

Water and books DON'T mix!



Bathtubs were made for rubber duckies, submarines, tugboats, sailboats, fireboats, frogs, and frogmen

BUT NO BOOKS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 09:00 PM

That's because you don't know.

I suggest you read the books. Yes, yes, I know it's old technology, but go on and try it. (Hint: you don't need to plug it in or use batteries. And you can use it in the bathtub without fear of electrocution.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 07:49 PM

For some reason I can't quite name,. I can't think of any creature more boring than a vampire bunny. I dunno why.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 06:53 PM

Echoes from afah...Bunicculi, Bunnicula....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 06:38 PM

Boing! Boing!! Gaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Boing. Boing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 01:57 PM

He hops by night!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 01:57 PM

My fantasies are often light blue or gauzy tan. When my mind goes to sleep it slips into the uncontrolled slalom of images, and any color is fair game.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 01:53 PM

Bunnicula will change that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 01:48 PM

If your carrots are white. you may have accidentally planted parsnips or daikon radish instead of carrots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 01:37 PM

My carats are mostly gold, or diamantine,
my carets black,
my carrots orange.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 01:35 PM

You'll know, Amos, when all of your carrots are white!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 01:33 PM

I thought celery stalks at midnight were usually limp, no?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 12:33 PM

The Celerty stalks at midnight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 11:40 AM

Of course, there's always THIS!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 11:29 AM

Philosophical tiger? Read Life of Pi.

Okay, the tiger's not really very philosophical. He just eats and shits. Learning to live with the tiger is where the philosophical part comes in.

I suppose the same could be said for mosquitoes and leeches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 09:36 AM

There's already a philosophical tiger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 09:03 AM

Amos - how come two of the three are blood-suckers...are you jumping on the vampire bandwagon?

Hmmmmm, which brings up a puzzledr - what happens if a species which drinks blood becomes a vampire - are they forced to drink water, or nectar in ordrr to survive?

Pity the poor vampire mosquito - who must search the night for night- blooming blossoms upon which to wreak it's deadly way!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 10 - 01:54 AM

MOM has been chuckling about this all evening.


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