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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 06 Jan 10 - 12:26 PM
Acme 06 Jan 10 - 11:41 AM
Amos 06 Jan 10 - 10:06 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jan 10 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 10 - 09:46 AM
MMario 06 Jan 10 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 06 Jan 10 - 09:22 AM
Little Hawk 06 Jan 10 - 02:44 AM
Acme 05 Jan 10 - 11:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jan 10 - 09:43 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 10 - 05:32 PM
Donuel 05 Jan 10 - 05:18 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 10 - 04:39 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 10 - 04:25 PM
Amos 05 Jan 10 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 10 - 03:54 PM
Amos 05 Jan 10 - 02:28 PM
Donuel 05 Jan 10 - 02:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jan 10 - 01:29 PM
MMario 05 Jan 10 - 12:53 PM
Amos 05 Jan 10 - 12:30 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jan 10 - 11:55 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jan 10 - 11:53 AM
Acme 05 Jan 10 - 11:45 AM
Donuel 05 Jan 10 - 11:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jan 10 - 11:13 AM
MMario 05 Jan 10 - 11:07 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jan 10 - 11:02 AM
MMario 05 Jan 10 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 05 Jan 10 - 08:56 AM
Amos 05 Jan 10 - 08:55 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 10 - 11:54 PM
Acme 04 Jan 10 - 11:40 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 10 - 10:58 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 10 - 09:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jan 10 - 08:13 PM
Amos 04 Jan 10 - 07:29 PM
Acme 04 Jan 10 - 07:22 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 10 - 01:59 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 10 - 01:41 PM
MMario 04 Jan 10 - 01:38 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 10 - 01:35 PM
Amos 04 Jan 10 - 01:31 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 10 - 01:27 PM
Amos 04 Jan 10 - 01:24 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jan 10 - 01:20 PM
Amos 04 Jan 10 - 01:19 PM
MMario 04 Jan 10 - 12:11 PM
Acme 04 Jan 10 - 11:09 AM
Amos 04 Jan 10 - 11:03 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 10 - 12:26 PM

YEah, well, some day she will be grateful we supplied her with all those mnemomic devices. When her thirteenth great grandchild is born and she has to ask if it's a boy or a girl, not because her eyesight is weak but because her memory lets her down.

Then she can just duck into that hall bathroom on the third floor and scan the reminders...assuming she can carry the memory on the trip back downstairs...but at least it could save her some embarassment and that's why the far-sighted, futuristic-thinking Rapaire drew all those anatomical sketches and BWL labeled all the parts in red ink...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jan 10 - 11:41 AM

Mnemonic devices. That's what those sketches and calendars and picture art were. MOM has been trying to get you guys to stop drawing pictures on the bathroom walls for years, and I know she has used that term. I remember her shouting at BWL to just draw on the Playboy magazine, not on the walls, when he's in there. And Amos is supposed to keep his sharpie confined to his New Yorker.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 10 - 10:06 AM

You have a point there, BeeDub!

LH, "buying the farm" is a metaphor for the deceased's recent transition. Sorry I was not clear.

Official mourning is scheduled for another eleven days.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jan 10 - 09:56 AM

It's not polite to point? Tell that to this guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 10 - 09:46 AM

She said to me, "Son, it's not polite to point unless you're going to run the [deleted] through. It's also not polite to use the edge unless you're going to slice him from neck to navel, or from crotch to collarbone, or simply lop off his head and come galumphing back. Remember these things, my beemish boy."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jan 10 - 09:28 AM

Didn't MOM teach you it's not polite to point?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 10 - 09:22 AM

Purely oral??? What about all those petroglyphs, pictoglyphs, and hide "calendars"? Granted it wasn't written language as we know it, but it was just as written down as the cave paintings in Altamira: a way to pass knowledge on to others. Because WE can't read it means nothing -- we can't read Linear A, either. However, there ARE some alive today who CAN read the glyphs.

(I'll quietly point out the Inukshuk as well.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jan 10 - 02:44 AM

Yes, they had a powerful oral tradition, and it served them well. I think you would find that all societies who didn't use books (or something of that sort) had a strong oral tradition, and it's a very effective way of maintaining a culture. Matter of fact, I think people who learn by oral tradition develop better memory and concentration than those who learn from books...because you don't have to remember what's in a book...you can just go back and read it again if you forgot some part. With an oral tradition, you're more likely to remember all the parts in a story quite clearly once you've learned it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:41 PM

LH said The entire Plains Indians culture was composed of people who "never read even a single work of great literature, you could come to realize that there is a kind of purity in such a literatureless character, unpolluted by a myriad of opinions regarding; good, evil, love, betrayal, generousity, motivation, greed, hubris and humility. Only very personal and real life experiences shape that character's point of view."

These cultures are not literature less, they have rich storytelling traditions. They may not have read books with European literature, but they had great tales and a wonderful pantheon of gods that included tricksters (who were demoted by christian zealots who feared them, and this ties in perfectly to some of the cartoonish tricksters Donuel was discussing).

My favorite cartoon characters when I was small were Porky Pig and Betty Boop.















I know. I know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 09:43 PM

I'll see your Snoopy and Charlie Brown and raise you a Chief Broom and a Randall P. McMurphy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 05:32 PM

Chongo would make a pretty good salesman, Donuel, but he prefers more dangerous professions, such as: detective, soldier of fortune, bodyguard, that sort of thing...and he likes being his own boss. This is why he decided to be a private investigator rather than a cop. That, and the fact that there's a lot of specism out there on the force. Note how few chimps can be found in the L.A.P.D.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 05:18 PM

LH
Chongo may not be a good farmer but as a pitchman, he might be the best. Forget Fitz or BILLY MIERS, Chongo could sell an Eskimo a condo in Florida. So easy even Chongo can do it! My view of other drivers would make him a good pitchman for car insurance too.

Also who better to dig up all the money business on K street than Chongo. As a distant relative of the Bush family he even has an inside look at the power of assasination behind certain political families.




Amos while you rarely attribute who your posts are directed towards you may not know that my affection toward the writers behind names like Ebbie, Stilly and Bee are as large as a warm setting sun.

Cartoon characters that shape our childhood are more important than some of our teachers. Seeing a beagel dance with joy or Charlie Brown mope in self doubt might still effect you viserally.

Imprinted characters stay with us all life long. My fav is Wile.
Yep, Wile E Coyote may be most representative of the human condition by chasing after the next technological solution but always meets failure because of poor aim while destroying the enviorment and himself with schemes that are a dollar short and a second late.

As for Porky Pig, if he had only been a smart heart throb of an elegant creature, a lot of stuttering kids would have had an easier time handling mean spirited teasing. Its too bad that animal cartoon characters chosen were prone to derision like pigs and skunks.
But how can you depise a sponge, starfish, crab or squid. Their character choices were truly genius. Once you buy into them even an underwater squirrel or an underwater campfire flow without effort. Jack Nicholson was asked about SpongeBob and he said "when watching the grand kids I found that Spongebob was the only cartoon I could stomach. For Jack that is a great compliment.



Breaking News
Joan Rivers was not allowed to board a commercial flight today because when ordered to take off her mask she could not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 04:39 PM

S'cuse me, Amos! I meant to say: "Amos - Actually, Chongo has not bought the farm. He was unable to raise the necessary cash to even make a very modest downpayment. The owner has found another buyer."

A good thing, really, because Chongo just isn't cut out to be a farmer. He doesn't have the patience for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 04:25 PM

What you said in your last post was beautifully put, Donuel. The entire Plains Indians culture was composed of people who "never read even a single work of great literature, you could come to realize that there is a kind of purity in such a literatureless character, unpolluted by a myriad of opinions regarding; good, evil, love, betrayal, generousity, motivation, greed, hubris and humility. Only very personal and real life experiences shape that character's point of view."

And thus are many of the other older or more isolated cultures. Such people possess a natural awareness of who they are which arises from the direct experience of life itself...rather than as a bunch of vicarious thought-forms stitched together from things they've read about what other people said or did or seen on some video screen.

As such, frankly, I envy them for what they were and for what we are not and never can be...because we've all been inundated with vicarious thought-forms.

******

Bee-dub - Well put! ;-)

Amos - Actually, Amos has not bought the farm. He was unable to raise the necessary cash to even make a very modest downpayment. The owner has found another buyer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 03:56 PM

Five thirty six!! Five thirty seven!!
Quick as a year, the Kay goes By,
The winds of time are no more cruel
Than BS in a time-crossed eye.
The BS clock paces anon,
And BS night comes close to BS day.
Now must each child of Mom
Think, think on the coming next of Kay!


Augusta Featherstone Trompe-L'Oeil
Time's Folly in Folly's Time
Brown and Fowler-Stylle, Punk Row, London, 1878


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 03:54 PM

LH, did you say you're a leakin' frig end in your own time?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 02:28 PM

The First Law, Second Corollary, states: That which Is Pure BS should not be taken Personally....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 02:17 PM

Bee and Stilly both know how to push me beyond my breadth of knowledge and literature with a single sentence. I think they are on to me. For me literature talks things to death as often as bringing them to life.

If you were to imagine a character who has never read even a single work of great literature, you could come to realize that there is a kind of purity in such a literatureless character, unpolluted by a myriad of opinions regarding; good, evil, love, betrayal, generousity, motivation, greed, hubris and humility. Only very personal and real life experiences shape that character's point of view.

Some may think that person would be illiterate and say that a person who can not read is the same as the person who does not, yet such a unique personae is virtually a biblical character is often the subject of great literature. A purely internally shaped character is quite different from, lets take for example, students of literary classics. One lives before one's own thoughts and actions, while the other lives more in a virtual world of other people's internal dialog. Differences exist no matter how you would compare and contrast the tabula raza personae with the most well read intellectual character.

History is full of the uneducated robber barons as well as the uneducated artists of sublime perfection. Many a story is about the peril of calling the illiterate "scum" "a stupid shit", only to be bested ar every turn by the "scum". Such is a day in the life of such scum.

In short it is a matter of pre concieved limitations and linear thinking versus a wide scope of fearless possibilities that defines most characters. A person who has not read a single book, picks up the melody on their own and sometimes is the composer.

Take for example the motivation felt by Wile E Coyote. It is hunger and survival but it is also a pride that intellect will outperform mere speed. etc. etc. yadayada yada yada yada.

For whom it may apply, and if it applies to thee:
Stick that in your Kindle and smoke it.








Rap,

'Corrado' Soprano was more of a nightmarish character who was indeed a ham.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 01:29 PM

Yes, Corridus really put the "Ham" in "Hamster", unlike most of Little Hawk's imaginings which only succeed at putting the "What?" in "What the Fuck?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 12:53 PM

I am not ashameed to admit I miss Corridus. Now that was a charactor with character!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 12:30 PM

It is just possible, old friend, that it is really t'other way to, and you are a figment of Corridus' nightmare imagination!! Obviously it wasn't Chongo's because when he bought the farm you were still here.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:55 AM

That's for sure! When I think about what the world will lose when I shuffle off this mortal coil, it makes my head swim! ;-) It will be much worse than Chongo's (alleged) demise could possibly be...because with me will die all my extended characters as well as myself. It'll be like the sudden advent of a black hole in our collective cultural continuum. Civilization may not survive the shock. And what about all the great songs I've written, but not recorded? Lost, I tell you! LOST! I mean, look, I've been a freakin' legend in my own mind for years!... and I know what the world is going to lose when I go. Sheesh. It hardly bears thinking about.

However, my Dad clearly felt that way about himself too...even much moreso than I do in fact...he figured he was definitely the most brilliant and important man in the world...and yet the world has continued in his absence with barely a ripple.

Hmmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:53 AM

You're right, Don. One can easily discern parallels between Little Hawk's relationship with Chongo Chimp and Dostoyevsky's relationship with Ivan Karamazov.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:45 AM

I am astonished at the breadth of your view regarding these important imaginary figures, Donuel. Does Porky Pig fall somewhere within that pantheon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:19 AM

Character homocide is regrettable but a fact of life.

Forever gone are Wallace and Gromet due to a tragic fire.
Elmer Fudd at NASCAR stood in the road and yelled "Let the waith begin" and was run over by 42 cars. A look alike is now doing Geico commercials.
Charlie the Tuna, Boris Badenov, Natasha, all have come to a tragic end.
There are too many deceased characters to list now, but if there is any chance for Chongo to pull through I hope he regains his former glory.

Probably the most complex imaginary characters are personnae, especailly your own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:13 AM

Or you could drive a Wedge. Many people who wind up in Feuds do so because members of their families have driven Wedges in the past.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:07 AM

Good mileage, long lasting AND a catchy ad jingle. What more could you ask for?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 11:02 AM

An advertising jingle...

♫♫

Oh, the Capulets and the Montagues
And the Coys and the Hatfields too
They all had Feuds, yes it is true
So... how... 'bout... you?

♫♫

(Special limited time offer! Buy any in stock Feud from your friendly Feud dealer and receive a pair of flintlock dueling pistols at no extra charge!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 10:33 AM

YOu don't want to get a vendetta - their mileage is *terrible*. YOu might want to try a contention though they tend to be a bit small, or a good old american Feud. Feuds last a long time, sometimes generations!

MM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:56 AM

I just heard about LH's solution: the .458 SOCOM. All he needs to do is be able to afford the rifle and the ammunition (although from what I heard you should be able to just throw the bullet and drop the bear).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jan 10 - 08:55 AM

Well, do what you want, man, but if that wrath gets aroused the bear thing will pale in comparison.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:54 PM

The bears may be in hibernation, but you shouldn't bet your wrath on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:40 PM

Go for a trial period. Bears won't be bothering you for a few months now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 10:58 PM

But Amos...I've gotten so accustomed to seeing my wrath out there on duty in the backyard...I think I'd really miss him if he were gone. And how would I deter the bears from their nocturnal visits then?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 09:45 PM

Nah, they're cute little Italian things that scoot around town, usually carrying college students. I thought about getting one when I was in college, and then it snowed. Might be just the thing for Florida, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 08:13 PM

I have no wraths, just a dozen or so little ires. If anyone has a spare wrath they'd like to trade for a couple of ires, I might be interested.

I've also been thinking about getting a vendetta, but I hear they can be pretty messy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 07:29 PM

Ya know, y'all should thing twice about this. If Little Hawk's wrath gets aroused it'll go through walls, doors or fences to satiate his aroused state on the first living thing it sees, especially if its a lanky longhaired scruffy hippy who reminds him of its maw back on Deneb IX.    This is not a risk you want to take lightly, Hawkster. I say sell your wrath BEFORE it gets aroused or you will surely regret it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 07:22 PM

Amos, get out your credit card and make Rap's day. Order a raft of wraths to decorate his library during these dark, snowy, dreary days, when it looks like a flan settled over the landscape around the Portneuf River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:59 PM

I like wraths. The flowers are often really pretty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:41 PM

They cost a fortune in food too. Not to mention lodging. But every since I have had a wrath guarding the property here, things have been just as quiet as can be. No more bears or salesmen coming round. I've got him in a little enclosure in the backyard. Fortunately, they are not perturbed by frigid temperatures...it's COLD out there today!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:38 PM

YOu don't want to arouse his wrath. I've watched "Stargate Atlantis" - those wrath are nasty critters!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:35 PM

Yeah, I bet... ;-)

Be careful now. There is less and less toleration for scum these days, you know. You may end up being ostracized or even banished if you carry on as you have of late. Howling Eddie Cranshaw may write a protest song about you. Anything is possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:31 PM

MWahahahaha. Terrible risk indeed. Just shaking in my little blue booties, me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:27 PM

Oh! A vicious slight! You risk arousing my wrath, sir.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:24 PM

You better hope so--it's your current incarnation...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:20 PM

An excellent point, MMario.

But have you plowed through the incredible shitstorm that had the music section agitated for days on the "Smokers are Scum" thread that preceded my "Scum are Scum" thread? If so, you would perhaps appreciate better what I am up to in launching a thread such as "Scum are Scum". ;-)

Then too, you may not have seen my recent brilliant rewrite of the Elvis song at the tail end of the "Scum are Scum" thread.

The Lesser Variegated Scumsucker used to be seen a good deal in these parts, but Alas! They are now all but extinct. I am told that the rare Great Wallowing Twit is making a comeback, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:19 PM

Still, the passing of the Scum-Crested Bone Sucker is regretted by few, notably Shame...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 12:11 PM

I went over and took a gander at LH's scum lyrics....*yawn*; but did happen to notice a passing reference by katlaughing about the Great Horned Scum-Sucker.

Now few people are aware, but a great deal of the pollution sewen in reivers and lakes these days is NOT due to direct contamination by humans, or dumping of wastes, but rather due to the near extermination of the Greater Horned Scum-Sucker and it's near relatives, the Lesser Horned Scumsucker and the Bony Crested Scum Sucker.

Hunted diligently by brewers on all continents, who claim the various scumuckers reduce the desireable "head" on beers and ales; these valued members of the ecosystem are no longer prevelant to reduce the naturally occuring scum that nature itself produces on her waterways.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:09 AM

I've been trying to get MOM to load for a while now. Glad to see we have ignition this morning, finally. It's cold out there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:03 AM

My hard drive failed after several trillion high-speed revolutions. Thank the good office of my Higher Mind that there are backups.

Hi, Mom!! I missed you sompn terrible, but, the trip was worthwhile and I conquered the known world.


A


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