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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 14 Aug 09 - 10:23 PM
Little Hawk 14 Aug 09 - 10:03 PM
Janie 14 Aug 09 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 14 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Aug 09 - 09:20 PM
Amos 14 Aug 09 - 08:50 PM
Janie 14 Aug 09 - 08:35 PM
Acme 14 Aug 09 - 07:07 PM
Janie 14 Aug 09 - 06:48 PM
Acme 14 Aug 09 - 06:07 PM
Little Hawk 14 Aug 09 - 05:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Aug 09 - 05:13 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 14 Aug 09 - 05:07 PM
Amos 14 Aug 09 - 04:35 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 14 Aug 09 - 04:12 PM
Amos 14 Aug 09 - 02:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Aug 09 - 01:45 PM
Little Hawk 14 Aug 09 - 12:57 PM
Amos 14 Aug 09 - 10:55 AM
Rapparee 14 Aug 09 - 09:10 AM
Rapparee 13 Aug 09 - 11:23 PM
Amos 13 Aug 09 - 10:53 PM
Acme 13 Aug 09 - 09:12 PM
Janie 13 Aug 09 - 07:51 PM
Janie 13 Aug 09 - 07:50 PM
Janie 13 Aug 09 - 06:55 PM
gnu 13 Aug 09 - 06:44 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 09 - 05:57 PM
Amos 13 Aug 09 - 05:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Aug 09 - 04:34 PM
gnu 13 Aug 09 - 03:16 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 09 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 09 - 02:15 PM
Amos 13 Aug 09 - 01:55 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 09 - 01:44 PM
Amos 13 Aug 09 - 11:34 AM
Amos 13 Aug 09 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 13 Aug 09 - 09:07 AM
gnu 13 Aug 09 - 05:47 AM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 09 - 03:30 AM
Amos 13 Aug 09 - 01:41 AM
Amos 13 Aug 09 - 01:40 AM
Acme 13 Aug 09 - 12:27 AM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM
Amos 12 Aug 09 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 09 - 10:01 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 09 - 09:01 PM
Amos 12 Aug 09 - 08:58 PM
Amos 12 Aug 09 - 07:55 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 09 - 06:47 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 10:23 PM

Oh no, Mr. Bill....not the maple syrup ration!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 10:03 PM

In Orillia they take away your maple syrup ration for a week, Janie!

Scary stuff, let me tell you.

*****

Amos, ma petite boulette de pomme, you must stop confusing me with Chongo. He thinks way differently than I do on many subjects. Please keep that in mind and focus on whom you are talking to and you'll make a lot more sense. At least I hope so. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:53 PM

No wonder I'm afraid to check out the Library in my new town.


The Librarian might pull a pistol on me when I return a book late;>0


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM

I didn't know a Spanish mackerel had a beard and wore a cap.

My Associate Director and I went to the shooting range this morning, someplace we could discuss personnel stuff without being interrupted or having the whole place know about it as it was said. We shot some targets, and she asked how far a .22 long rifle bullet would travel if it didn't hit something first. I told her a mile or more, and then demonstrated by shooting a berm 650 yards away (just the dirt, no target), after shooting berms at successive distances out to it. This was with a .22 pistol, mind you, not a rifle.

She thought it would be a good safety lesson for everyone on the PAMMSC to see, so we'll do that when we next go out there.

After we finished we went to Our Favorite Gunstore and she bought herself a Ruger Mark III target pistol, 7 inch slab-sided bull barrel, blued, with a contoured and checkered walnut grip. Sam, the owner of OFG, made her shoot it before he sold it to her. She came out of the range and said, "I'm in love." Sam had made a sale, and she will return the pistol she's been using to her daughter.

Had physical therapy this afternoon. The less said about the pain the better, only the PT guy (Doctor Lash, he's called) said that I'm about a week ahead on my recovery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:20 PM

Mom got a ticket for driving the riding lawn mower into traffic instead of with it?

Heck, I knew she got a ticket while drivin' the mower, but I thought it was for drag racin'. You know how much Mom likes to pop wheelies and burn rubber.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:50 PM

Wow, LH, that is the most complex case of Egyptian confusion I have ever seen--you seem to have no idea whether you're in de Nile or out of it!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:35 PM

Yeh, Stilly, I noticed the erratic speed, weaving mostly within the lane, and the right wheels often running off the road onto the berm, with occasional drifting a little over the center line for several miles. It was when she swerved completely over into the on-coming lane that I decided I really had to call 911.

I resist my inner "goody-two-shoes" until I decide there is a real safety threat. I'm clear that in this case, there was.

The Boys, on the otherhand, blow a lot of hot air into cyberspace, but ain't seen no casualties, or even near misses yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 07:07 PM

That kind of behavior when driving is just as dangerous, Janie, and she needed to be ticketed.

Last traffic ticket MOM got was for driving the riding lawn mower down to the 7-11 for a slurpee. She rode into traffic instead of with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 06:48 PM

Hey MOM, the lady I called 911 about as I was following her down the road on the ride home from work wasn't drunk after all!

Much to my surprise, law enforcement called me back to tell me the outcome. (Once a patrol car had shown up and started tailing her, I peeled off and headed to the grocery store.) She just couldn't keep it between the telephone poles for 10 miles of arguing with her husband and trying to smack badly behaving kids in the backseat. They ticketed her for careless and reckless driving. On the one hand, I feel like a fink. On the other, maybe she will be less perilous on the roads next time, and save the arguing and swatting of kids for when she is not behind the wheel of a car.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 06:07 PM

Hey, MOM! The laptop finally picks up the wireless signal in the area. About time. I think it was installing Service Pack 3 that fixed it. It was supposed to be in there already, but there was a malfunction for installing stuff for a while. I fixed a couple of things, messed one up and re-installed it, and now everything works.

Anything around the house I can fix for you? (No, I didn't mean to offer to defrost the freezer. . . )


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 05:22 PM

WAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 05:13 PM

THIS is Spanish Mackerel. As you can well imagine, if you catch Spanish Mackerel, it really hurts to pee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 05:07 PM

Still spreadin' the same old disinfo for yer political whore bosses, Amos? When will you guys learn that the people are not buyin' yer sorry lies and innuendos? She ain't my sister, see, she's a roundheeled proskirt wacko and whambo nutcase chimp from Mexico who is pretendin' to be my longlost "sister" in order to discredit me and the APP. I have got people watchin' her 24/7. She makes no move that we don't know about. We are collectin' evidence that will put her away fer a looooong time if she don't get smart and lay off the harassment.

And "vulnerable to fiscal motivation", am I? I can read between the lines, Roscoe. You are tryin' to bribe a presidential candidate. You are tryin' to buy my silence and my complicity in the betrayal of this nation to globalization, specism, and tyranny. Yes, I can read between the lines and I get yer drift loud and clear. Well, there are stiff penalties for that sorta thing, see? You want I should inform the authorities and get the legal machinery in motion? Hmmm? Izzat whatchyu want?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 04:35 PM

Remarkable!! Where once he denied all cognizance of his abandoned, neglected and abused sib, Chongo now seems to have taken a strong interest in her doings and knows all about her personnel and tactics. Someone must have told him about her balance sheet, at a time when he was peculiarly vulnerable to fiscal motivation (namely, any time at all).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 04:12 PM

He caught it from Conchita. Her name is pretty much equivalent to the name "Shelley" in English. She is one of Chinga's most accomplished girls, always leaving her customers something to remember her by. The old "pier plungin'" routine is popular with people who get their kicks by riskin' bein' seen doin' "it" in a public place. I'd never have figured Bee-dub for one of those, but you can't go by outer appearances.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 02:00 PM

WHo did you catch it from?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 01:45 PM

I would have rescued Mom earlier, but I was on a fishing pier at the beach catching Spanish Mackerel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 12:57 PM

I thought that was my job!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 10:55 AM

Well, what do you expect, when you completely stifle the flow of the thread by injecting an incomprehensible, non-sequitur, context-free comment and then walk off? You just LOVE those little non plus grenade thingies, because when you explain them afterwards you get to act all superior and stuff. SUCH a suck-up...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:10 AM

Nothing since I last posted. Poor, poor Mom, alone and palely loitering, weeping amidst the sedge that has withered from the lake and where no birds sing.

Here, let me help you back up out of the muck at the edge of the lake. You've been up to your knees in it all night and those bottles of Mad Dog didn't help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 11:23 PM

Ah, money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 10:53 PM

Good thinking, Mom!!!


:D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 09:12 PM

Moonglow and a couple of friends came by just long enough to eat, then head on their way down to San Antone. Headed to a convention, they are. I sent a doorstop loaf of frozen banana bread. It'll be thawed by morning and will be a good breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 07:51 PM

In a past life...I has also been.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 07:50 PM

BWL just don't like all those snowbirds parked at the KOA from New Year's until April Fools'.

I know. For I has seen


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 06:55 PM

You guys need more to do at the office!

While you have been frittering away your time on Japanese translations and back again, with a number of un pc comments thrown in, I have been busy deleting 2 years worth of e-mails.

Had to delete over half of 'em 1 at a time for aol to handle deleting the rest en masse.

Was abit worried about deleting something useful, then realized that with so many messages in the "in-box", chances I could find anything useful were close to nil.

It was gratifying to the ego, though, to open up that box every morning to 800+ unread messages.

*sniff* Now I feel kinda lonesome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 06:44 PM

Ahem?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 05:57 PM

Meanwhile, at the great Budokan arena in Japan:

"Radies and gentermen! Put your hands together for Shen Makburaido and the Brind River Bortwhores!!!!

(A tidal wave of frantic applause erupts as giant Marshall amps tremble to a massive opening burst of distorted guitar chords, bass, and drums.)"

"Holy flip!" comments Shane in voce sotto to the lead guitar player. "There are a lotta them little Chinese people in this place, eh?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 05:27 PM

Bravo, bravo. Goes to show ya pots is better nor shrooms.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 04:34 PM

♫♫
A tourist was a drivin' out on Highway Forty-three
He pulled into a rest stop 'cause he had to take a pee
When all at once a mighty bunch of motorhomes he saw
Drivin' down the median, which was against the law
Yi-pi-yi-ay, Yi-pi-yi-o, Winnebagos in the sky
♫♫
Their mudflaps were all muddy, there was crud upon their wheels
A hundred thousand love-bugs was squashed on their window shields
A bolt of fear ran through him as he stood there by his car
For he saw who was a drivin' them, and it was quite bizarre
Yi-pi-yi-ay, Yi-pi-yi-o, Winnebagos in the sky
♫♫
Each driver was bald-headed and wore a Hawaiian shirt
Bermuda shorts and loafers, they was all covered with dirt
And sitting there beside him in the other captain's chair
Was a poodle name of Fifi, and a lady with blue hair
Yi-pi-yi-ay, Yi-pi-yi-o, Winnebagos in the sky
♫♫
As the motorhomes drove by him one lone driver called his name
"If you don't want to ride with us go back from where you came
Sell your motorhome and buy a Harley-Davidson
You'll prob'ly kill yourself for sure, but at least you'll have more fun
Yi-pi-yi-ay, Yi-pi-yi-o, Winnebagos in the sky
♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 03:16 PM

Yup, gotta be shrooms man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 02:59 PM

Let's try it this way.

First:

If Amos were as brilliant as he thinks he is he would be a genius. But he is not as brilliant as he thinks he is. He is not even as brilliant as I think he is. He may be more brilliant than Shane McBride, however .

Middle:

He is, he'll be great if Amos is a genius idea. However, he believes that good as he is not. He is bright and I believe him. He is from Shane McBride has a great potential.

Last:

Amos is a great idea, he is a genius. However, he believes that good. He is bright and I believe him. Mr. SHENMAKUBURAIDO have great potential.


***

Hmm. I begin to comprehend how and why the Japanese made the incredible error of attacking the USA in December '41. They were probably using this translation engine to project the results! ;-D

Mr Shenmakburaido!!! I love it. ;-) That's what Shane would be called in Japan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 02:15 PM

Orphan he is being heartburn more insipid I love proposition custom I boast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 01:55 PM

It's all in the formatting, LH:

Little Hawk is being an obstreperous and obnoxious nerd.
into Japanese

リトルホークは、騒々しいとされて嫌なおたく。
back into English

Little Hawk is a bad blatancy geek and the new.

back into Japanese
リトルホーク悪い騒々オタクと新しいです。
back into English

Little Hawk is a new noise and bad nerds.

back into Japanese
リトルホークの新しいノイズと悪いオタクです。
back into English

Geek is the new noise and poor Little Hawk.

back into Japanese
オタクは、新しい騒音や貧しいリトルホークです。
back into English

Geek is the new noise and poor Little Hawk.



See what I mean?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 01:44 PM

let's go!

Amos's usefullness is in inverse proportion to the amount of talking he does.into Japaneseアモスのusefullness"゙は話の量に"ス"范痰オている。back into EnglishUsefullness of Amos He is inversely proportional to the amount of the story.back into JapaneseUsefullnessアモスの"゙は逆の話の量に"范痰オます。back into EnglishHis Usefullness Amos is proportional to the amount of the story in reverse.back into JapaneseアモスUsefullness逆に"゙の話の量に"范痰オます。back into EnglishAmos Usefullness proportional to the amount of his story in reverse.back into JapaneseアモスUsefullness逆に"゙の話の量に"范痰オます。back into EnglishAmos Usefullness proportional to the amount of his story in reverse.

Hmm. Kind of hard to read, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 11:34 AM

♫ ♫
Atheist, Baptist or Dago
Don't get to ride in my Winnebago,
When we all get called up to Beyond!       ♫
Perihelion, doom or Rapture
My RV you'll never capture,
In my captain's chair as I roll on.
            ♫
Pearly Gates don't allow no snarking,
They've got lots of outsize parking
For when we all get called, up to Beyond!
Got TV, I won't get snotty,
Eight-track tapes and a porta-potty
It will be a breeze when I move on!

Call me when you need me, Jesus
Call me when the whole world freezes
In my Winnebago, I'll be there!
Sound the trump, and blow the chofer                ♫
Give me a sec to start my motor!
My RV and me are moving on!! ♫ ♫      ♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 10:15 AM

Silver glittering, towering Yukari Akira, Wings, his empire, to be built on the pattern of clouds, the length of the grass field next to the redemption of a city break over the green plateau unmatched chord no stretch of the attack.

Tell ya what: http://translationparty.com. Do your own bizarre work.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 09:07 AM

I knew a banjo player who "beat out chords of redemption". Didn't work well; they still hung him in his own strings "just because."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 05:47 AM

Shrooms?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 03:30 AM

Cosmic! ;-)

Try this:

Floating upon clouds of shimmering silver, the purple dragon soars, his wings beating out chords of matchless redemption over fields of uncut grass that stretch unbroken to the blue highlands which lie far beyond the imperial city.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 01:41 AM

I like this way-point:

Black, Silver Black Madonna of the evil dwarf FURANNERUFANTAMU cry cause breadcrum BAIKUJIPUSHIKUIN scattered like birds of prey like the innocence of a bike and choose the Eden Gates.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 01:40 AM

Well, it goes round and round, and chokes when it gets to about here:

"Black, EDENGEITSU bike SHIRUBABURAKKUMADONNA BAIKUJIPUSHIKUIN FURANNERUFANTAMU simple: as the cause of scattering is bad, please select the dwarf birds feed please breadcrum".

Then it reports the phrase will probably not ever reach equilibrium.

Can't figger why, though!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 12:27 AM

Whoosh!

I think a loop just few past. Is Gluon out in the yard playing with the time space continuum again?

I thought so.

Gluon! Drop it! Put that down. Now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 11:25 PM

Try out the English-Japanese thing on this a few times:

The motorcycle black Madonna two-wheeled gypsy queen
And her silver-studded phantom cause the grey flannel dwarf to scream
As he weeps to wicked birds of prey who pick up on his breadcrum sins
And there are no sins inside the Gates of Eden


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 10:47 PM

Stealing from every other, he imagines himself the creator of all.

into Japanese他からの窃盗、彼自身のすべての創作想像。
back into English

Stealing from others, all of his creative imagination.

back into Japanese他人からの窃盗は、すべて彼の創造的な想像力。
back into English

Stealing from others is his creative imagination.

back into Japanese他人からの窃盗彼の創造的な想像力です。
back into English

It is his imagination and creativity of stealing from others.

back into Japaneseそれは彼の想像力と創造力を盗んだとして他人からされています。
back into English

It is stealing from others as his imagination and creativity.

back into Japaneseそれは彼の想像力と創造力を盗んだとして他人からされています。
back into English

It is stealing from others as his imagination and creativity.

Thus equilibrium!!

(I am sorry. I got carried away. I will desist....).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 10:01 PM

So would I. So, LH...ya wanna not...you know...get together?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:01 PM

"I knew you could get it up, Rapaire. Even when Little Hawk said no."

Actually, Rapaire has never propositioned me in that fashion.

But if he did...I would most certainly say "no".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 08:58 PM

Imaginary playmates replace harsh reality in his fevered thought processes.

Imaginary playmate, please replace the hard reality in a desperate thought processes.

Fictitious play, please replace the harsh reality of the thought processes of their lives.

Fictitious play, please replace the harsh reality of life in the process of thought.

And fictitious play in the process of thinking, please replace the harsh reality of life.

In the process of thinking, imaginary play, please replace the harsh reality of life.

Please replace the harsh realities of life, and imaginative play in the process of thought.

Below, in the process of thinking, please replace the harsh reality of life and imaginative play.

In the following, in the process of thinking, please replace the harsh reality of life and imaginative play.

In the following, in the process of thinking, please replace the harsh reality of life and imaginative play.

Thus, equilibrium has been attained!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 07:55 PM

I knew you could get it up, Rapaire. Even when Little Hawk said no.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:47 PM

I've said the same thing, Amos, while I rode the elevator.


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