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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Aug 09 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 09:28 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 07:11 PM
Amos 02 Aug 09 - 06:37 PM
Acme 02 Aug 09 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 05:20 PM
Amos 02 Aug 09 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 04:25 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 03:25 PM
Amos 02 Aug 09 - 03:17 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 03:14 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 03:02 PM
Amos 02 Aug 09 - 02:48 PM
gnu 02 Aug 09 - 02:10 PM
Amos 02 Aug 09 - 01:35 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 01:02 PM
Amos 02 Aug 09 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 09 - 12:06 PM
Acme 02 Aug 09 - 11:39 AM
Amos 02 Aug 09 - 12:19 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 09:55 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 08:26 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 08:21 PM
Acme 01 Aug 09 - 08:11 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 07:51 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 07:03 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 06:55 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 05:10 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 04:43 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 01:51 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 01:18 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 01:11 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 01:02 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 10:58 AM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 10:56 AM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 10:40 PM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 07:49 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 07:43 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 07:26 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 05:41 PM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 02:51 PM
MMario 31 Jul 09 - 02:50 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 02:41 PM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 02:39 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 02:21 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 02:19 PM
MMario 31 Jul 09 - 01:57 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 01:33 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 10:35 PM

I can only say that the calf begins just below the knee, of course, and the effect of hamstringing could be described either way. My description was lifted from a historicl document somewhere on the Internet. As for the coup de Rapaire -- which in French is pronounced "koo da Rah-payre". I might add --it certainly falls in the same general category of low and/or dirty and/or dishonorable assaults. But, tant pis and ta soeur, mon vieux canard.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 09:28 PM

Merci, Amos, for correcting the spelling. I am still under the effects of the surgery.

But I'd like to point out that the coup de Jarnac was not a cut to the calf, but a cut across the tendons at the back of the knee, which causes the cuttee to collapse. It is similar to the coup de Rapaire, which is done by a cut straight up between the legs while blocking the opponent's sword with a targe, shield, or other thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 07:11 PM

Cut n off at da knees eh wha? Dat's the less known east coast way ta say it. No nare so oigh n fancy needder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 06:37 PM

Actually, he is referring to the coup de Jarnac, not Jarnot, named for the French the Duke of Jarnac, in a duel against the Duke of La Chataigneraie, who was acting as a proxy for the king, Henri II. It is a somewhat unconventional blow, and not considered a particularly glorious fencing stroke, to say the least, Chabot won by striking his opponent down with a blow to his calf. From that day on the stroke became known as "Le Coup de Jarnac" and entered the French language as a popular expression, usually implying a dirty tactic or one beneath the scruples of an honorable opponent.

Interestingly enough, the cause of the duel was a rumor started by Henri II, that the Duke of Jarnot, yclept Chabot, had taken his mother-in-law as a mistress, which apparently, for reasons which are obscure, was considered an unhonorable thing to do in the French court circle.

However, I am not the one who started this rumor about Rapaire, and I am not among the many who have passed it on.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 05:21 PM

Withdraw and administer a coup de Jarnot and then a coup de grace.

Is this a step I forgot in making jelly this afternoon? Will it affect the flavor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 05:20 PM

I, of course, am a sailor and a lover

Like this guy? Or this one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 04:43 PM

Well, I was referring to the male peeing device, gentlemen. It strikes me as characteristic that such an innocent jest should evoke a complicated array of aggressive stances from our esteemed fencer. I, of course, am a sailor and a lover, not a stabber of my fellow-man. I do not even fantasize, mostly, about spilling human blood. Chacun á son mauvais gout.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 04:25 PM

In Amos' case, engage, beat in quartre, cut under to sixte, feint, cut over to quartre, beat to sixte, and skewer in quartre. Withdraw and administer a coup de Jarnot and then a coup de grace. Stand and salute the fallen, then check his blade to see if it's better than your own. If it is, keep it, and if not, return it to him point first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:25 PM

"point and click"... parry and thrust?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:17 PM

The epéetome of Overpee. Well, that's what good blades or for. We should be grateful for our point and click interface.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:14 PM

Oopps... I p'd too much. Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 03:02 PM

To wit, youse are the eppeetomee of oneupmanship.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 02:48 PM

The problem with Rapaire is that when he gets near a Rapier he becomes witless, a disarming trait.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 02:10 PM

Rapier wit? Is the penguin mightier than the swordfish? Or is the pot calling the kettle carbonized?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 01:35 PM

Obviously you did not understand my last post, thou snidely bookman. Go to, mend your sorry shoulder, do your passive exercise. I will not cross blades with you even in ASCII. First, because it is silly, and second because I actually wish you well despite your many invitations not to.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 01:02 PM

My, what a weak riposte.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 12:24 PM

You, sir, are my favorite foible, and puncturing you my forte!! Don't be so condescending!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 12:06 PM

Ho hum. Amos is playing musketeer again, and he not knowing his foible from his forte. Try not to cut yourself again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 11:39 AM

I'm sure Spaw would love to be trifled with! Ask him!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 12:19 AM

This ruse will NOT succeed, monsieurs. Le Grand Spaw will not be trifled wid!! En garde!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 09:55 PM

Ne, Spaw's not around right now. Or, rather, Spaw has gone, wee wee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 08:26 PM

Rente pi haule une bushe la! I want to hear more of La Courierettes Du Bois and twitching of logs from youse. Little Hawk and his beaver must have been poplar on da pond la, ne'Spaw?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 08:21 PM

No, the ones with peckers were called Couriers de Bois--the voyageurs or wood-runners who ran the furs by canoe down from the frozen north woods.

Their spice were what was being referred to as Courieriettes. Pure whimsy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 08:11 PM

"Courierettes de Bois"? What is that? A wood pecker?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:51 PM

LOLOL!!! Aww, Christ... ;-) This is gettin' pretty good around here today. Nice tirade there, Amos. Tell me more!

Those Courierettes de Bois are nothing to sneeze at, Rap, lemme tell ya. As Mike C. always says at the Tuesday night song circle: "Let me have a wench. And let her be French!" He's a lascivious old scoundrel, but he has a lot of great tales about the seminal folk club days in the late 50s, early 60s. He ran one of the original folk clubs in Toronto and hosted ALL the early greats, such as: Lightfoot, Bonnie Dobson, Joan Baez, Carolyn Hester, Buffy Sainte-Marie, and even Bob Dylan. The first place Dylan played in Toronto (and in Canada, I guess...) was Mike's club.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:12 PM

He relieves pressure on it by venting sewage, obviously. Odd anatomical idiosyncracvy; must be the Beaver genes, eh?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:03 PM

If his brain is steam wouldn't his head explode? Or would his ears and nose act as pop-off valves? Could he manipulate his cranial openings to make, oh, calliope music? That could be very nice, especially if he played something like "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" while seated in the stern of a canoe that was paddled away by a couple of husky Courierettes Du Bois.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 06:55 PM

Man, LH, I dunno what it is with you, with the sex stuff on your mind all time. Furthermore, I ill have you understand, you plug-ugly camp, that I have never wanted for affectionate female companionship of the most inspiring sort, especially since I got married, and your slurs and scandalous denigrations are reflections on your own tribulations, sir, and none of mine. Bite your tongue, you steam-brained whippersnapper.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 05:10 PM

Yes, isn't it? But she's not really his sister, Amos. She's a gold-digging impostor who's trying to cash in on Chongo's well-deserved fame and inherit his millions---err, make that thousands---, err, well, no make that about fifty bucks and change plus a couple of 1930s silver dollars and a baseball autographed by Moe Berg*. Chinga's father was a chimp gunsel from St. Louis who died in a gangland war. Her mother was a chimpette of the evening from El Cajon.

So...how was the sex this time, Amos? Did she let you assume the dominant position or did you just stick to the usual humiliating routine with the whips and bananas?

* Moe Berg


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 04:43 PM

It is really wonderful to see Little Hawk come to his senses about the independent reality of Chongo's long-neglected sister!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:51 PM

9/10!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:18 PM

Yeah, that makes sense. She probably uses a pair of cheap pliers and a bottle of whiskey or a sharp blow to the head to calm the patient.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:11 PM

I hear she pulls a mean tooth, too. Diversification is required in the global marketplace. She gets em gummin and goin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:02 PM

"I am off to the blood-stained alleys of Tijuana to see a fly-by-night dentist"

Ha! A likely story! He's off to another illicit rendezvous with Chinga. She runs a cathouse in Tijuana now, as well as a contraband banana and mango operation that moves illegal fruit into the USA. Amos is one of her bagmen, no doubt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 10:58 AM

Which I will donate to the US Marine Corps Recruit Depot, San Diego, for use by DIs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 10:56 AM

So long Mom, I am off to the blood-stained alleys of Tijuana to see a fly-by-night dentist.

If I survive I want Rapaire to have all my used bathroom tissues.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:09 PM

Given your history of aggression, sharpening your passive skills will make you more balanced. But -- Missoula? University visit? My, just erudite circles to travel in. You will have plenty of opportunities to practice your combined talents on them liberriens.

Safe travels, anyway!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:40 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen and Amos:

I have returned from an evaluation session in Physical Therapy. The therapist has given me a series of "passive" exercises to do and I will be doing them as they are little or no trouble and take no equipment save a flat surface and gravity.

This will continue for four weeks, at which time I will be in for more weeks of rather more difficult therapy. One of those is the "Slapper Push-Up" where you do a one-handed push-up with the hand on the injured side, slap yourself roundly on both cheeks (your choice of cheeks) while "up", catch yourself, and lower yourself for a repeat.

Monday afternoon, after PT, Pat and I head to Missoula, via Dillon, for the 100th Annual Conference and Centennial Birthday Party of the Pacific Northwest Library Association. I shall not be out of touch whilst gone, and I shall be doing the PNLA exercies des ans: the grasp, lift, and elbow bend (which is done holding a glass of the liquid of your choice).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:49 PM

Or even pernicious permeability.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:43 PM

Or perfunction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:26 PM

Which, of course, is why I haven't posted in the last few hours. If I had you would all have tried messing with ME, and as has been said, there's no messing with perfection.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 05:41 PM

I liked your first attempt better. There's no point messing with perfection. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:51 PM

In any case, Little Hawk's situation is well-known to be unbearable, and entirely gone to the dogs. Despite his efforts to catsup by having them mustard regularly, they do not seem to relish his company, and keep nipping his buns. To avoid this he spends much of his time sitting high on a rock onion hill, avoiding becoming hamburger.


Howzat?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:50 PM

I'm surprised he didn't say " and keep nipping onions buns"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:41 PM

Now, if ya coulda worked "onions" into that, I would have been impressed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:39 PM

In any case, Little Hawks situation is well-known to be unbearable, and entirely gone to the dogs. Despite his efforts to catsup by having them mustard regularly, they do not seem to relish his company, and keep nipping his buns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:21 PM

But, he could throw the dogs to them. With a little mustard, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:19 PM

If I was in a rural area, I'd forget about using dogs at all. I'd set the bears on Amos instead. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 01:57 PM

Why would you set the dogs on Amos for Bear? Wouldn't it be smarter to set them on someone in a more rural area if you are trying for bear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 01:33 PM

Wouldn't do any good... Amos has a chair to stand on.


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