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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Apr 08 - 11:47 PM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 11:46 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 08 - 10:23 PM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 06:22 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 08 - 06:17 PM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 06:09 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 08 - 05:32 PM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 01:32 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 08 - 01:15 PM
MMario 17 Apr 08 - 12:57 PM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 12:49 PM
MMario 17 Apr 08 - 12:37 PM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 12:26 PM
MMario 17 Apr 08 - 11:32 AM
Acme 17 Apr 08 - 11:24 AM
Rapparee 17 Apr 08 - 11:05 AM
Amos 17 Apr 08 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 17 Apr 08 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 16 Apr 08 - 08:56 PM
Acme 16 Apr 08 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 08 - 05:10 PM
Amos 16 Apr 08 - 04:30 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 08 - 03:21 PM
Amos 16 Apr 08 - 10:47 AM
Rapparee 16 Apr 08 - 01:09 AM
Amos 15 Apr 08 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 08 - 10:25 PM
Amos 15 Apr 08 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 08 - 10:07 PM
Acme 15 Apr 08 - 09:57 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 08 - 09:35 PM
Amos 15 Apr 08 - 05:37 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 08 - 02:38 PM
Amos 15 Apr 08 - 11:35 AM
MMario 15 Apr 08 - 11:14 AM
Amos 15 Apr 08 - 11:08 AM
Acme 15 Apr 08 - 10:08 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 08 - 09:18 AM
Acme 15 Apr 08 - 12:48 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 08 - 09:42 PM
Amos 14 Apr 08 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 08 - 06:57 PM
Amos 14 Apr 08 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 08 - 12:28 PM
Amos 14 Apr 08 - 12:10 PM
Amos 14 Apr 08 - 10:10 AM
Acme 14 Apr 08 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 08 - 09:31 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 08 - 11:48 PM
Acme 13 Apr 08 - 11:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 11:47 PM

It ain't often you get two strokes on the same awful pun!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 11:46 PM

That was the town that bloomed on the absinthe trade back in the 1880's. They had a plant at first, just behind the yarrow grove there, and the town gradually grew up behind the plant as it prospered, until all the trees were gone, replaced with stores and homes. They regretted it, because it had been a beautiful grove, but they just shrugged their shoulders and told each other, "Absinthe made the yarrow grove Fonda."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:23 PM

I've been to Fonda, New York. The ship was marooned there because of high water in the Erie Canal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 06:22 PM

Yes, indeed. It was not New York that did you in, it was your map of New York.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 06:17 PM

So that's why my childish wonder, youthful innocence, and boyish grin were lost!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 06:09 PM

Well, it is clear from our recent testimony that the map, while not being the territory, is also not the map. They slither in and out of existence like subquarkian wannabe particles, quivering in view for a fraction of a moment before evanescing into peripheral pastitude.

They grow full blown from the viewpoint's instantaneous attitudes, and die as quickly as ripen, shifting with the very winds of the soul. Ah, put not your trust in maps, my friend. Like numbers, they will sadly betray and leave you lost, astray and shorn of meaning in a vacuum of misplaced orientation points.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 05:32 PM

When I've been in New York City my cell phone was destroyed by an outlet in the hotel bathroom, my coat was stolen, my watch band broke, I got blisters walking from the hotel to the meeting place, and the honking car horns kept me from decent sleep. MY map doesn't include New York City, and the only part of LA on it is the La Brea tar pits because they are the best part of the City of Angles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 01:32 PM

Jeeze, Rapaire, don't you even know when you've been pre-empted? I said California!! Los Angeles covers for San Diego in matters like these; as a rule we try not to figure in New York's outlook too much, being mindful of the fate of New Jersey.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 01:15 PM

You won't find San Diego on that map either....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 12:57 PM

Pocatello fell into L-Space a few years back. Look in the crease of the map.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 12:49 PM

OH, right. GEt all numbery. Why don't you love America? Trust your gut, man...


BTW, I am getting suspicious of Rapaire. I think he may be using a false identity. He keeps saying he is a library director in Pocatello, but as anyone can see -- unlike California and Texas -- there is no such place on the map as Pocatello. So I can't help wondering where he is really from. I bet Amsterdam Avenue.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 12:37 PM

a street value of $4k per PLANT? I doubt it.   maybe $400 if they are growing some really primo stuff, but not 10 times that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 12:26 PM

MM:

THese must be friends of yours, but I wish I'd found them before the Feds did:

"Federal authorities say they have disrupted a major indoor marijuana-growing operation in northern San Diego County.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Stewart Young says agents arrested 13 men and seized marijuana plants that could have a street value as high as $27 million.

Raids Tuesday at four homes found 6,848 plants. The houses used a sophisticated irrigation system and stolen electricity to grow the plants under lamps. Court records show another home contained scales and processed marijuana for sale.

Authorities say two 48-year-old men owned or controlled the houses. Those men, Thomas Swift of San Marcos and Kevin Kennedy of Vista, pleaded not guilty Wednesday to charges of conspiracy to manufacture a controlled substance.

Each faces a minimum sentence of 10 years in prison if convicted."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 11:32 AM

wataminit! Why does the BurgerKing Guy work at Wendy's? charges of Nepotism or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 11:24 AM

Yeah, but I forgot to buy it. Saturday is next. And anyway, Amos can ball out the BurgerKing guy all he wants. He works at Wendy's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 11:05 AM

Well, I guess we're going to have to pin our hopes on Stilly's lottery ticket.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 10:45 AM

Dammit!! Trump's assistant came by to check out possibilities for major investment in our "Seance Games" startup, and he was so dismayed to find Mom trolling the bottom-dwellers that he left without opening his briefcase. And I just told the shift supervisor at Burger King what I thought of him, too!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 08 - 09:46 AM

MOM! For shame! Consorting with those bottom-dwellers again! Get up here and sober up! And then take a shower and sleep it off! And don't give me that "girls just want to have fun" business again -- you've got enough money you don't need to go back to rolling drunks and...and...other things. Now drink your coffee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 08:56 PM

Okay, Stilly's in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 05:21 PM

$1 on tonight's Lotto, quick pick, cash option. That's all I need. Oh, and make that a winner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 05:10 PM

This thing is gonna be BIG BIG BIG.

Amos! Quick! Call Donny Trump and see if he wants a piece of the action!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 04:30 PM

Ghost Riders On the Ice. Yippe ki yayyyyy (swoooooosh!) Yipppe ki yo-ooooooo (swooosh!!) Ghost Riders on the Iiiiice!!


I think we're onto something hot, here, man. The multibillion game industry hooked up with the multimillion dollar poly-schizo-phrenic pan-dimensional ghosts and paranormal industry. SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!

Who ya gonna call????

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 03:21 PM

And what about sports like rugby and football and soccer and fencing and pole vaulting and skeet shooting and ski jumping and how do you count the riders on the five man bobsled?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 10:47 AM

Well, then we get into using living people as facilitators, which is how they vote. And they involves qualifications, aethical standards, verification and so on.

No, I think what we need is a good VVVHF interface, a sort of ectoplasmic-sensitive mesh antenna, in which those on the other side can settle and transmit their moves by emitting impulses. This would have the effect of rendering the world of the living into a sort of video game for the dead -- just assume a viewpoint among the sensor mesh and start emanating. ANd the beauty is that no-one can accuse you of "wasting" time, since you are playing from Eternity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 08 - 01:09 AM

Let's see: chess, of course, and checkers (draughts); Candyland; Chutes (Snakes) and ladders; some of the electronic games, like "Simon" could take on all new dimensions. Baccarat, Chuck-a-Luck, roulette, three-card monte, poker (give a whole new meaning to "Dead Man's Hand"), even Uno.

After all, if the dead can vote why shouldn't they play games?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 10:31 PM

I wonder if a market niche is out there waiting to be filled for Seance-Games? I think for starters, we could have a lot of fun with Pictionary, maybe Monopoly, and charades using the odd piece of furniture.,.. How to rig up the board and pieces would be a technical challenge, but there could be millions in it for the right innovator...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 10:25 PM

I didn't say it was an exciting game, Amos. In fact, ouija cribbage can be deathly quiet, but the players can be said to look quite natural...almost lifelike.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 10:15 PM

Table tipping cribbage will never catch on -- it lacks the robust excitement of the real thing, the thrill of the peg, the clatter of the cards or dice or whatever those are, the slap of the board as the pegs fill in, the sighs, the moans and the cheers of the very small crowd.... nothing like it to restore the zest to a man's life. Deance style cribbage just can't compare.


S


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 10:07 PM

Ouija cribbage board, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 09:57 PM

I don't believe it! I'm sure you told us that your father died years before you were born. So how come he was there playing cribbage with your mother?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 09:35 PM

Of course not, Amos. I was able to find a log (or something like one) and surf right out to the treatment plant. There I was rescued by, believe it or not, my very own uncle, the treatment plant Supervisor who happened to be supervising the inflow at that very moment. He plucked me off my "surflog", washed me down, and took me home. My parents were, of course, so distrait over my accident that they had nearly missed pegging out in their cribbage game and my return was met with wild exclamations of profound apathy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 05:37 PM

Except your mother had to walk a quarter of a mile up the sewer to get you back and has never forgiven you...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 02:38 PM

I went down a sinkhole once when I was young. In fact, I was just a baby and my mother was bathing me in the kitchen sink when I accidentally kicked the stopper loose.

In a flash I was gone with the bathwater! A huge sucking sound, a roller-coaster ride through the P-trap, and there I was, a naked little child, surfing (so to speak) through the city's sewer system.

Fortunately, everything came right in the end.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 11:35 AM

I guess anything's possible if you use enough torque, ole buddy.


:D

In other news, global warming has now been cancelled.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 11:14 AM

Amos - you just have to use a little logic. The drain makes a hole in the sink, right?

Well - most sinkholes are pletnty large enough to fit a pumphouse in. So you just situate the pumphouse in the sinkhole!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 11:08 AM

How'd you get the pump house for water to fit in the sink? That's like getting an elephant into your bathtub, isn't it? Not exactly like, I know, but a lot like?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 10:08 AM

Our family cabin at Lake Whatcom in Washington State had a pump house for water in the sink and a spigot outside in the boat shed for the wringer washer, but no sewer, so there was an outhouse up the hill. My brother had a big toy boat he threw in - twice. Mom fished it out, cleaned it up, but the second time I don't remember if it stayed down there or she fished it out and threw it away. I remember it was a big deal at the time. (He was 3 and I was 5.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 09:18 AM

You could get a cell phone...just don't drop it in. They plug up toilet really bad and don't work very well afterwards. If you drop it in a real outhouse you might not want it back, but it could be interesting to call it when someone else goes in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 08 - 12:48 AM

Well guess what? I cleaned out the cupboard over my washer and found about 1000 feet of phone cord in there. Enough to run from the kitchen way out back to the outhouse, just like Mom wanted. Martha Mitchell isn't the only one to make calls from the Loo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 09:42 PM

Well, I'm not certain yet. I have to check on a couple of meetings. If I don't go to them, they'll talk about me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 07:06 PM

You can change things. Remember who you are!! Bring about change. Think to yourself, "YES --- I CAN!!!"

You can do this.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 06:57 PM

Damn. Probably not.

Poop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 01:14 PM

It is in October:

"The 2008 dates will be October 3-6, 2008.
The 2009 dates will be October 2-5, 2009."
From Getaway thread .




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 12:28 PM

When is the FSGW Getaway, Amos? The way things go I'll probably have a library meeting, but it would be nice to attend if I could.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 12:10 PM

It was hot at the San Diego Zoo yesterday -- the hottest April here in recorded history, according ton one source. It was so hot we had to buy frozen lemonade cups to continue our stroll among the carefully-architected domiciles of the various inmates.

Although sometimes I wonder. I saw on two occasions young monkeys standing thoughtfully at the edge of their fences looking out and obviously thoughtfully observing the primates on the other side of the boundary.

They were probably wondering if they should put us on the Endangering Species list, I guess.

The gorillas were torpid, lying around with their flanks pressed up against the glass, showing the leatheyr bottoms of their huge feet.

The flamingos were having a bockerfest, jumping up and down.

Down on the Pacific coast, earlier this weekend, a hundred seals lay about on the sands of what was once the Children's Cover, demonstrating complete torpor.

It was really hot.

And it is only April. I believe we have a number of miles closer to the sun to go before the height of summer turns.

Ah, woe, woe.

Al GOre would have known what to do.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 10:10 AM

YEah..kinda sorta...I think...


Shall the MOAB Gather at the FSGW Getaway?

There would be a lark, indeed. We could all dress up as Mormons or something...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 10:02 AM

Mom's lucky I cleaned the garage and donated so much stuff, or this branch of the family would have had to pay in addition to the amount withheld. It's time to move this stuff to other good homes, especially when holding onto it when I have to pay taxes is like paying rent on it and then not using it. Know what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 08 - 09:31 AM

Alas, poor Mom! Left alone to fret on Tax Day Eve! Fret not, cher Mama, for I have completed and filed your taxes for you like a Good Child should. Did I mention that you're getting a very nice refund? You are...quite enough for that new bone china tea set you've been wanting and a lot left over.

So cheer up, knowing that Someone Cares.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 11:48 PM

Ah! What they used to call a "sweater girl"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 08 - 11:45 PM

Where's my sweater?


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