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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 25 Sep 07 - 09:23 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 07 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 07 - 09:06 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 07 - 08:30 PM
Amos 25 Sep 07 - 08:28 PM
beardedbruce 25 Sep 07 - 07:30 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 07 - 06:29 PM
Amos 25 Sep 07 - 05:11 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 07 - 01:34 PM
Amos 25 Sep 07 - 01:30 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 07 - 01:28 PM
MMario 25 Sep 07 - 12:50 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 07 - 12:34 PM
Acme 25 Sep 07 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 07 - 11:47 AM
Amos 25 Sep 07 - 09:52 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 07 - 09:26 AM
MMario 25 Sep 07 - 08:44 AM
Acme 24 Sep 07 - 11:25 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 07 - 09:06 PM
Little Hawk 24 Sep 07 - 06:44 PM
Amos 24 Sep 07 - 05:46 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 07 - 05:25 PM
Amos 24 Sep 07 - 03:20 PM
JennyO 24 Sep 07 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 07 - 11:48 AM
Amos 24 Sep 07 - 11:03 AM
Acme 24 Sep 07 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 07 - 09:00 AM
Amos 24 Sep 07 - 07:57 AM
Acme 24 Sep 07 - 12:19 AM
Acme 23 Sep 07 - 09:46 PM
Amos 23 Sep 07 - 09:38 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 07 - 09:35 PM
Amos 23 Sep 07 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 07 - 09:29 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 07 - 09:23 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 07 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 07 - 09:20 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 07 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 07 - 09:12 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 07 - 07:25 PM
Amos 23 Sep 07 - 07:23 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 07 - 05:04 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 07 - 04:49 PM
Amos 23 Sep 07 - 04:00 PM
Amos 23 Sep 07 - 03:39 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 07 - 02:30 PM
Amos 23 Sep 07 - 01:58 PM
Amos 23 Sep 07 - 01:03 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:23 PM

Did they tell you that another fine product you could come up with in this enterprise is moleskin? Don't worry about blisters ever again with your operation going in full swing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:17 PM

Yes, I feel that the great days are just ahead for me...I may soon get to meet Maureen McTeer and Mila Mulroney. I may get to trade jokes with Right Honourable Members on Parliament Hill. These are the salad days coming up, I can just feel it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:06 PM

This could turn into a job with the Canadian government. I can see it know: Little Hawk, Minister of Mountainous Molehills. A budget of billions, a staff that numbers well into the tens, meetings year-round in every village and town in Canada, a private plane to whisk the Minister to and from those meetings, a coat similar to this one to ward off the Chill Of The North....

Yes, an experienced molehill-to-mountainer has a vibrant future ahead of him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 08:30 PM

Amos, you prick, I'll get you for that... ;-)

I have been busy with my little spoon. I have combined 13 molehills into a sizeable heap of dirt, but not yet what could fairly be called a mountain.

And it's too dark now to continue.

(sigh)

Oh, well, there's always tomorrow!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 08:28 PM

AN awesome spoon, to be sure. Fit for spooning with a very large Other.

BTW, I believe Abraham Lincoln also came from Kentucky.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 07:30 PM

look about one page down for the big spoon...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 06:29 PM

Out in the yard with his little spoon, sitting in the dirt....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 05:11 PM

IT's so nice when someone comes up withh something to absorb his attention.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 01:34 PM

LOL!!!!! By God, MMario, you are onto something there!

Yes, I bloody well can make mountains out of molehills. Been doing so for years.

I can see that it's going to be a busy and very satisfying afternoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 01:30 PM

MWAhahahahahahaha......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 01:28 PM

...in a wagon rut.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 12:50 PM

well, get busy and make yourself a few mountains!


Surely making a mountain out of a molehill isn't beyond you, is it?

After all, the "news" media manages to do it frequently! And newscasters are lower then the bellyskin of a road-killed snake!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 12:34 PM

What I have here is molehills. On the lawn. Lots of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 11:52 AM

There's no place to hide, so where are you going to run?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 11:47 AM

RUN!! There are TWO of Them!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:52 AM

I heard from my cousin Gabe, the sculptor. He looks exactly like me, in the unpredictable toss of the gene cup, and is like an alter-ego parallel alternate universe identity -- he builds boats and sculptures and gets to do a lot of the things I would love to be doing if I weren't doing the things I am doing.

We talked for two hours on the phone. This is not like me.

But he is.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 09:26 AM

Bannock range to the west, Pocatello range to the east, and the Snake River Plain to the north. To the south is the Portneuf Gap, through which the Bonneville Flood came a few years back, creating the SR Plain, the Columbia River, etc., and leaving the Great Salt Lake as a remanant of its passing.

We set a record low for the date as the high temp yesterday: 51 F. Today the high is supposed to be about 65 F. The mountainsides are washed in the scarlet of the mountain maples and the brilliant yellow of the aspen.

Fall as done arrived.

(And I heard from my old friend Marlene! She and her husband have removed from Chicago to Durban, South Africa. She says it's a bit of a change....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 08:44 AM

huh! You're just used to them brash upstart *young* mountains. Now a mountain is still a mountain even when it's old and worn done from the centuries of geological toil.

Like the Allaghenies and the Adarondacks. Or the Appalachians.

Give me a mountain with some age to it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 11:25 PM

Mountains? What mountains? Haven't seen mountains in a coon's age. The only mountains around here are submerged below the limestone left over from when the Gulf came up this high and various geologic shifts. They find metamorphic minerals in the middle of the state and up on the panhandle from some of those unseen mountains. Gotta head hundreds of miles west of here to see REAL mountains, and they aren't as real as the real mountains I grew up with, the Cascades and the Olympics. (Can't hardly imagine any more living in a house where I could see both ranges, off each side of the front porch, but I could, in two different houses I lived in.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 09:06 PM

Yup. All them things and folks came out of Kentucky. Except maybe Crockett -- he lived in Tennessee and died in Tejas.

But...THERE'S SNOW ON THE MOUNTAINS!!!

S-N-O-W, snow!! It's not even 25 past September!

Question: What has 36,000 legs and an IQ of 34?
Answer: The student body at U. of Kentucky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 06:44 PM

How about Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone? They came out of Kentucky at some point, didn't they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 05:46 PM

Well, and a couple of fine representatives of top-flight horseflesh, and the very word "bluegrass", and Robert Penn Warren, who was the only man to win Pulitzers for both poetry and literature.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 05:25 PM

Question: What's the best thing to ever come out of Kentucky?
Answer: I-65.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 03:20 PM

California has the advantage, like some poeple I know, of being long but not too wide. So I can get to Arizona or Nevade in a couple of hours (or four) if Ineed to, although I can't see needing to very often. Yuma is a bustling little desert town, but the best thing that ever happened to me there was reaching the rest room at Denny's just off Exit 3.


:D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 12:13 PM

Hi MOM, I've been busy lately, clearing out spaces in my yard that have never before been touched by human hand - at least not since I've been living here. We took over a ton of metal to the metal recyclers, and we have enough scrap wood for a lifetime of fires. There is a huge pile of junk that will be going out shortly to be picked up by the council.

There are hundreds of bricks that I am going to use to make more no-dig gardens, and there is a lot more work to be done yet in the garden and barbeque area.

What is my reward for all this hard work you might ask? I'll tell you what. A COLD! The first cold I have had in over two years. Humphh! Who was it said no good deed goes unpunished? I yam pissed off!

And as for anchovies? I wouldn't miss them at all if they were gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 11:48 AM

Stilly, you could always move to Alaska....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 11:03 AM

Hell, I've known folks lived out their whole lifetimes, just waiting for a chance to say they were out of Texas. :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 09:57 AM

I like the idea of living in a state you can travel away from easily. I have to drive for hundreds of miles in most directions to get out of Texas. Closest way out still takes several hours. I've been known to make that drive just so I can say I was out of Texas for a little while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 09:00 AM

No, I wasn't. Part of the time I was in Idaho, through which I have to pass to get to Utah. Well, I could get there via Wyoming or Oregon, but those are the long ways around.

Pat and I took a nice drive, and about the time we reached Preston, Idaho she said, "Hey, let's continue on and go back through Logan Canyon and Bear Lake!" So we did.

We even stopped at a Borders bookstore in Logan, Utah where we bought some books and a CD of Cape Breton music. I have the dated charge slip to prove it.

Of course, one can always make deals about anchovies if one has the right contacts, a cell phone, and incriminating photographs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 07:57 AM

I love it when Stilly makes Rapaire 'fess up.

Mom was heading for the low end again. She was chasing that Joe Offer birthday thread, I just know it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 12:19 AM

Rapaire,

You weren't in Utah all day, you were writing about anchovies over here! Fess up! Was that a "little white lie" you told on the Marceau thread you started?

Ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:46 PM

But the point is, telling people to post when they have nothing to say will never work. If you stimulate them with stirring images, they WILL have something to say. Even if it is just laundry and shopping lists.

I could list all of the things I was able to cross off of my to-do list on the kitchen counter. Lots of yard work, laundry, baking bread, stuff like that. Fascinating reading, no? (No!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:38 PM

Rapaire:

Your fantastic solution to an overstock of anchovies is diabolical and ingenious. Frankly, it worries me to see such a capability for evil genius on your part.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:35 PM

Well, said, Amos. You are so right. I shall have to search for inspiration...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:29 PM

Little Hawk,

Have you no leadership skills?

Youneed to INSPIRE people to post. Make it a bold adventure, a race at midnight by a fire-breathing steam locomotive, or a doughty crew battling for a far headland in an overwhelming gale -- both of which themes I have already used. But the point is, telling people to post when they have nothing to say will never work. If you stimulate them with stirring images, they WILL have something to say. Even if it is just laundry and shopping lists.

Use your silvery tongue and bring out the best!! The rest will surely follow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:29 PM

I've managed to dispose of them! And so quickly!

The anchovies will be taken away to a site near Yellowstone National Park (but which is outside the Park) and steamed in naturally occuring "hot pots" there. Various other items will be added, including egg whites, and the whole mess will be sold as a dressing for Caesar Salad.

You'll be able to find the dressing on the shelves shortly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:23 PM

(sigh) Another hundred posts, and no visit from William Shatner. Oh well, I guess it won't take too long to reach the next 100, right?

Get busy, people! Post! Even if you've got flip-all to say...post!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:22 PM

Too bad my dog wasn't there, Rapaire, because he would have disposed of them for you.

Oops.

I think I just deprived Mr Shatner of the chance to post on the century mark. Dear me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:20 PM

Suffice to say that I was attempting to help out an old friend, who had heard that anchovies restored, ah, virility. Bill asked me if I could help him out, because his image as an "interstellar studmuffin" would be damaged if I didn't. Well, far be it from me to deny help to a suffering friend, even though he IS originally from Canada, so I ordered up the anchovies. He was due to come out later this week and, under the nom de poisson of "James T." consume the anchovies (he's already been through aspargus, Rocky Mountain oysters, celery, and plain ol' oysters). Then I read Amos' post quoting the Anchovy Council and called Bill, who canceled the whole trip.

Fortunately, the anchovies have been paid for and he told me to dispose of them as I saw fit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:16 PM

Well, then, what would be the use in asking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:12 PM

How I came by the anchovies is simple to answer: I ordered them from deadlittlefish.com. You have not yet asked the obvious question, which is why I wanted them -- and the answer to that remains private information.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 07:25 PM

I wouldn't think of doing anything so crass! One does not take the name of Shatner in vain without risking serious consequences.

Are we there yet? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 07:23 PM

Dream on good Hawk; as usual, of there is a risk of your dream not maifesting I am sure you will take measures to make it look as though it had, anyway. Just ask Chongo to log in under a false identity and pretend to be Shatner.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 05:04 PM

Meanwhile, the suspense mounts! Will William Shatner make a rare personal appearance to register the 19,800th vote?

Dare we hope that he will???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 04:49 PM

"An Anchovie! An Anchovie! My kingdom for an Anchovie!!!"

Thus hollered King Ethelred the Barely Ready as the Saxon hordes closed in around him on the bloodstained, corpse-strewn field.

They killed him. This is what happens when you don't get your Anchovie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 04:00 PM

So solly. It should read, "Seventeen seven and seventy gone".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 03:39 PM

At seventeen nine and ninety gone,
The life and heartbeat carry on.
All vile detractors now confess
There's something to this grand B.S.
It needs no bottles, beers or kegs,
And yet it plainly has some legs!


Perhaps you should arrange a charter flight, Rapaire, to load them anchovies up and air-drop them, unboxed, directly on Orillia, with a note directing them to M. Hawk.   It's the least you can do considering all you have gotten from his creative wellsprings...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 02:30 PM

Anchovies....can you imagine a world without them? Would you want to live in such a world? Take a deep breath, ask yourself that and think carefully before answering.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 01:58 PM

But I have to ask, sir, how you came by several tonnes of anchovies in your dry, remote situation.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 01:03 PM

Rapaire:

I like them well enough to talk to, but we have a deal never to eat each other; and I wouldn't much want my sister to marry one, as she threatened once to do.

A


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