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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 30 Dec 06 - 09:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Dec 06 - 08:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Dec 06 - 08:07 PM
Amos 30 Dec 06 - 07:33 PM
Acme 30 Dec 06 - 06:42 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 06 - 04:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Dec 06 - 04:02 PM
Acme 30 Dec 06 - 03:12 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 06 - 07:57 AM
Acme 30 Dec 06 - 01:25 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 06 - 07:50 PM
Acme 29 Dec 06 - 07:45 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 06 - 04:24 PM
Acme 29 Dec 06 - 03:45 PM
Amos 29 Dec 06 - 03:43 PM
Acme 29 Dec 06 - 03:30 PM
Amos 29 Dec 06 - 03:19 PM
MMario 29 Dec 06 - 03:14 PM
Amos 29 Dec 06 - 03:12 PM
Amos 29 Dec 06 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 06 - 08:50 AM
Amos 29 Dec 06 - 12:44 AM
Acme 28 Dec 06 - 09:11 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 06 - 07:45 PM
Acme 28 Dec 06 - 07:28 PM
Amos 28 Dec 06 - 06:18 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 06 - 04:50 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 06 - 04:50 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 06 - 04:49 PM
Amos 28 Dec 06 - 12:14 PM
MMario 28 Dec 06 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 28 Dec 06 - 10:52 AM
Acme 27 Dec 06 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 06 - 05:20 PM
Amos 27 Dec 06 - 03:18 PM
MMario 27 Dec 06 - 11:20 AM
Amos 27 Dec 06 - 11:14 AM
John MacKenzie 27 Dec 06 - 10:47 AM
Acme 27 Dec 06 - 12:33 AM
Amos 26 Dec 06 - 09:11 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 06 - 08:22 PM
Amos 26 Dec 06 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 06 - 04:14 PM
Amos 26 Dec 06 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 06 - 01:35 PM
Acme 26 Dec 06 - 12:20 PM
Amos 26 Dec 06 - 10:56 AM
Acme 26 Dec 06 - 01:04 AM
Amos 25 Dec 06 - 09:36 PM
Acme 25 Dec 06 - 02:32 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 09:18 PM

Different etymologies, amigo. hamburger was named as an entity whole, not an element thereof.

"Charles Panati traces the origins of "hamburger" as follows:

Origins in a medieval culinary practice popular among the Tartars, who shredded the low quality (i.e., tough) beef. Whence we get steak tartare (they didn't use capers and eggs though).
Russian Tartars introduced it to Germany prior to the 14th century. The Germans mixed in regional spices and the dish was eaten both cooked and raw and became common among the poorer classes. In Hamburg, the dish acquired the name "Hamburg steak" during a visit by a visiting Irish chieftan who was an ancestor of John F. Kennedy (well, I might be joking about the Chieftan part).
The dish went to England and met with Dr. J.H. Salisbury. This guy was a food reformer and physician (popular combo in those days, it seems) who was big on shredding all foods prior to consumption to improve digestability. He was also big on eating beef 3 times a day, washed down by hot water. Now we get Salisbury steak which was no big deal until Swanson over promoted it (well I might be semi-kidding about Swanson).
Concurrently, Hamburg steak travelled with German immigrants to the US in the 1880s and we get "hamburger steak," then "hamburger." The timing of the bun business is not known though Panati says that by the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis, it was already a sandwich and was also known as "hamburg."
Regarding the "hot dog", this delicacy is dated back to 1500 B.C. in Babylonia (I guess that explains the taste of many of the modern ones). Suffice it to say that stuff meat in animal intestines was (and still is) a pretty popular culinary approach.

Some highlights though, included the big (heh) role played by sausage in the Roman festival Lupercalia where Panati says other writers alluded that the sausage may have played a role beyond mere foodstuff. Anyway, the early Roman Catholic Church made sausage eating a sin and Constantine banned its consumption.

In the 1850s, the Germans made thick, soft, and fatty sausages from which we get "frank." In 1852, the butcher's guild in Frankfurt introduced a spiced and smoked sausage which was packed in a thin casing and they called it a "frankfurter" after their hometown. The sausage had a slightly curved shape supposedly due to the coaxing of a butcher who had a popular dachshund. The frankfurter was also known as a "dachshund sausage" and this name came with it to America.

The two Frankfurters who introduced the frankfurter to the US were Antoine Feuchtwanger (in St. Louis, Mo.) and Charles Feltman, a baker who had a push cart on New York's Coney Island. Supposedly, Feltman's pie business couldn't compete with the hot dishes sold by the inns there, and decided to sell one kind of small hot sandwich, the frankfurter, since his cart couldn't handle anything fancier or offer greater variety. He served them with traditional mustard and sauerkraut, it was a hit, and he opened Feltman's German Beer Garden. In 1913, he hired Nathan Handwerker to help him out at US$11/week.

Two frankfurter fanatics, Eddie Condon and Jimmy Durante (yep, the ones), were pissed that Feltman raised his franks to US$0.10 and convinced Handwerker to break off and sell 'em for US$0.05. And that's what that traitor, er, canny businessman did in 1916. So he opened a concession using his wife's Ida recipe. He promoted it by offering free dogs to the docs at Coney Island Hospital on condition that they eat at his stand with their dress whites and prominently displayed stethoscopes (obviously, the current of ethics in the medical profession go back a ways). This was a hit.

As an aside, Handwerker then Clara Bowtinelli, who bagged out and turned down possible fame and fortune toiling in a dog joint to become Clara "The It Girl" Bow.

Anyways, the sausage was known as frankfurters, red hots, dachshund sausages, wieners, etc. By this time, there was a guy, Harry Stevens, who owned a refreshment concessionaire who had made popular doggies at NYC baseball games. His vendors supposedly called out "Get your red-hot dachshund sausages!" (You can see why this became shorted later on.)

In the summer of 1906, a Hearst paper cartoonist, Tad Dorgan was inspired by the shape of the sausage and the calls of the vendors to sketch a cartoon with a real dachshund, smeared with mustard, in a bun. Supposedly, while he was at the office refining the cartoon, he couldn't spell the name of the damn dog so he made the caption "get your hot dogs."

Anyway, this guy Dorgan was considered a major cartoonist and has had retrospectives to his work, and historians, archivists, and curators generally credit him with the name, but the supposed cartoon has never been found.

BTW, the US produces something like 16.5 billion hot dogs per annum."


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 08:27 PM

And to further confuse the issue, if a sandwich make from a hamburger patty is called a hamburger, why isn't a sandwich made from a sausage patty called a sausage?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 08:07 PM

Perhaps if one were to slice two hotdogs lengthwise and serve them between two pieces of bread that would be a hotdog sandwich. Maybe it's the bun that produces the linguistic anomaly.

But why is a sandwich made from a round disk of ground beef called a hamburger while the disk itself, sans bread, is called a hamburger patty?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 07:33 PM

Because if you called it a hot dog sandwich it would cause a flap in Animal Protection circles. Not because there were dogs in it, but because the name implies an association with a potentially harmful concept which in turn might cause the not-too-bright to generate an unwelcome thought-picture in a dysfunctional mind, as a result of which they might then resist said picture and experience tension, distress, emotional upset and confusion all because you called it a hot dog sandwich.

I tell you, man. it's a jungle of eggshells out there!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 06:42 PM

Hey, Bruce, has the pottery season slowed down? Are you home guarding the property in case of high winds? Drop in more often, whatever the case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 04:30 PM

Bee-dubya, some of the Indian nations used to enjoy dog as a ceremonial food -- the Sioux and Ojibway, for example. Story goes that two young fellas left the rez for the Big City -- country boys, you might say, and they stopped at an A&W for some eats (and other things). The only thing left was hot dogs, which the boys had never had before, but they were game and they each ordered one. They got to the table and the oldest peeked at his sandwich and said to his brother, "So, ah, what part of the dog did YOU get??"

Heard that at a pow-wow....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 04:02 PM

Hi, Mom!

Just stopped in to ask a question.

Why is it that if one makes a sandwich with ham it's a ham sandwich, and if one makes a sandwich with bologna it's a bologna sandwich, but if one makes a sandwich with a hot dog it's still just a hot dog?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 03:12 PM

"With Ingrid Bergman as the hypotenuse."

Perk up, MOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 07:57 AM

Mom takes care of her own.

I don't know about the SW corner bit; that's what I was always told based upon tornadoes where I grew up. I do know that in a basement getting close to the wall in the direction the tornado is coming from (i.e., coming from the north, use the north wall) is a good idea because if the joists break a cavity will usually be created -- a little right triangle with the hypotenuse starting at the top of the foundation and ending some distance away from the wall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 06 - 01:25 AM

No basement, just a concrete slab. That SW corner of the house thing is a myth. Best thing you can do to keep your house intact is be sure everything is closed tight. It's the places where wind can get in that allow it to pry off doors and roofs. Garage doors are the worst culprit.

We had a heckuva lot of rain. It will be interesting to see what it looks like in the morning. A lot of noise out there, the sirens going off every so often. And at one point every house and streetlight in the neighborhood was without power--execpt mine! How odd!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 07:50 PM

Get a couple jugs of water and some canned food, too. SW corner of the basement is best, if you have one. Take care!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 07:45 PM

I'd forgotten that the electrician put an extra little breaker out in the circuit breaker box when they redid this house. Everything was on but my office plugs, and I had to go outside to trip that switch. Good thing!

Tornados have gone flying through on either side of us. Missed Mr. Bush in Crawford, darn it. I'd say one natural disaster deserves another . . .

More stuff headed this way--there is a steady stream of wet warm air moving up from the Gulf of Mexico. It's running into something--maybe that cold air that froze up Denver? Anyway, MOM, I have my portable radio and tv and flashlight and a pillow and sleeping bag and I'll camp out in the hallway if I have to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 04:24 PM

Comrades, now the world is ours!
Gently flow its open sewers
Should a corpse come floating by
Yours is not to reason why.
If you do, much though we sorrow,
You'll be in there too, tomorrow.

                -- Richard Armour, It All Started With Marx


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 03:45 PM

Well, shit. We're under a tornado watch now. Sounds like that sucker is headed this direction, about 15 minutes down the road.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 03:43 PM

Good for what ails you -- a pico-newton force sensor!!

"The measurement of mass can be carried out at the 10^-21 gram (zeptogram) level (www.aip.org/pnu/2005/split/725-1.html) and of force to the 10^-18 newton (attonewton) level (Arlett et al., in Nano Letters, 2006).

But for many measurements in the cell biology world, this is too
much sensitivity. Forces in this realm are typically at the
piconewton (1 pN=10^-12 newton) level. Examples include the force
applied by the kinesin molecular motor protein to transport vesicles
(6 pN), the force needed to unzip a DNA molecule at room temperature
(9-20 pN), or the force needed to pull a DNA apart by pulling on
opposite ends (65 pN).

Biophysicists need a cost-effective force
sensor that works reliably in water at the pN level. Steven Koch and
his colleagues at Sandia National Labs are well along on delivering
the needed sensor.

The core of the device is a spring one millimeter
long but only a micron thick and is fabricated using a standard
polysilicon micromachining process. This spring operates according
to the classic experiment conducted by Robert Hooke in the 17th
century: the force exerted on the spring equals the amount of the
spring's compression or extension multiplied by a spring constant,
which in this case is about 1 piconewton per nanometer. "

Just in case you ever wondered how much force it takes to rip DNA apart or something like that. A Newton is about the amount of force that a Big Mac exerts when it hits the floor after falling off the table. OR, perhaps, the force delivered by gentle slap of an offended but affectionate girl standing 5'2" in stockings in a room heated to 68.9 degrees F. delivered from a distance of less than two meters. And I am speaking from experience.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 03:30 PM

Strangely warm weather today, MOM. Near 70, heavy overcast, tornado watch until this evening. My calendar says it is winter so I have bread baking and a chicken in a roasting pan. But it feels like we should have the barbecue up and running.

I've cut way back on the foods I'm willing to eat when I'm travelling, or even dining out around town. Some foods prepared in bulk for food service cause me real problems and great discomfort. Lettuce, for one. Seems pretty benign, right? Nope. They treat it with stuff to keep it from wilting or turning brown. Whatever that is, it makes me sick as a dog (though I've never seen my dogs sick like a human. . . knock wood. . . )


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 03:19 PM

I have consulted with the Author's Edition of the Akashic Records, MMario, and he says you are perfectly right.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 03:14 PM

everyone always gets that qoute wrong...

it's actually:

Up from the Valley of Death,
MOABites thundered


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 03:12 PM

Half a page, half a page,
Half a page downward
Bound for the 15 and 5,
MOABites thundered.
Yea, though the figures lie
Yea, though the BS flies
Theirs not to wonder why!
Theirs but to do, or die!
While the world wondered!
Fazed not by shell or bomb!
Flawless in brave aplomb!
Giving their all for Mom!
Into the Valley of Death,
MOABites thundered


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 01:33 PM

I guess "magnaminious in my selfishness" is kinda like a low-grade copy of enlightened self-interest.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 08:50 AM

Yes, that's what I thought. I'm magnanimous in my selfishness.

I'm feeling much, much better today too. I think it was a touch of "something I ate."

But I would still like to visit Gettysburg....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 06 - 12:44 AM

Oh, there's a lark for you; invade Maxie's place and set everyone to sweating and vomiting. Fiendishly droll. Yes, better that you took a pass.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 09:11 PM

Yup, but with a house full of tiny tots, I'm sure he appreciates you keeping your germs to yourself!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 07:45 PM

Well, missing West Chester is a real bummer. Someone associated with the 'Cat lives there...Max somebody, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 07:28 PM

And I missed Normandy. Bummer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 06:18 PM

Is that the number of the Beast?

I am sorry you missed Gettysburg, old chap; I can sympathize. I missed the Tet offensive.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 04:50 PM

Faux 8800.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 04:50 PM

And have thereby missed visiting BOTH Gettysburg AND West Chester, PA.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 04:49 PM

I did exactly that, Amos. I very spontaneously let my inner feelings out, in more ways than just one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 12:14 PM

Work on spontaneiety and open expression of your inner feelings, Rapaire. It will heal you.

:>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 10:59 AM

while getting sick on vacation is no fun - I have always found it to be much much MUCH better then being sick at work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 06 - 10:52 AM

Well, the first time I managed to hit the wall before I worshiped at the porcelain throne.

If yesterday, when it started, was a 10 today is about 9.3.

Sucks, it the technical term for getting sick on vacation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 11:40 PM

Throwing up in D.C.? I thought you went back to Idaho already. Is this projectile vomiting you're practicing, in order to hit D.C. with it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 05:20 PM

Yes it is. We just haven't found it yet.

Rapaire,
Throwing up in DC


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 03:18 PM

IF anyone coulda written the last new joke it woulda been the Skippah, all right. But it's not documented.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 11:20 AM

an un-recycled joke? I thought the last new joke was written in about 270,000 BC by kendall when he first started as a comedian


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 11:14 AM

Wal, I reckon yore femineyne intuition is workin' puffickly, there, Mag.

Gerald was a kind man, always struck me as decent. Football player, too.

Now, Giok, look through that bag of silly jokes you got and see if you can find one that hasn't been recycled six times.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 10:47 AM

Mainiac's Guide to Computer Lingo


Log On: Making the wood stove hotter
Log Off: Don't add wood
Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove
Download: Getting the firewood off the pickup
Mega Hertz: When you're not careful downloading (watch the toes!)
Floppy Disk: What you get from piling too much wood
RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work
Hard Drive: Getting home in mud season
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season
Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below
Screen: What you need for black fly season
Byte: What black flies do
Chip: What to munch on
Macro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone
Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around
Modem: What you did to the hay fields
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys
Software: Plastic eating utensils
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn
Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up
Port : Fancy wine
Enter: C'mon in!
Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle(dress) cost when
your wife (husband) asks.
**source unknown


Merry Christmas Kendall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Dec 06 - 12:33 AM

Something tells me that "hard time" at Mayzie's is an on-again off-again thing. . .

Sad note, Gerald Ford died. I always kind of liked him, even though Nixon picked him. He had a great wife in Betty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 09:11 PM

Mayzie's is a helluva place to do hard time, even for a reprobate like Khandu. And a FOX SQUIRREL? I didn't know they had such good taste.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 08:22 PM

Khandu is currently under house detention in Aunt Mazie's Good Time Parlor, and Tweed has been stored for the winter by a fox squirrel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 08:03 PM

Hey, look at the looneys who started Mother!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 04:14 PM

I always knew squirrels could predict the future. I remember one time, playing poker with some guys outside the Legion Hovel, and a squirrel came running through the group. It stopped, looked at Lonesome Louie's hand, and chittered.

Sure enough, Louie snatched that squirrel and flung it about 200 yards. And you know what? Louie did NOT fill that inside straight, dropped about $2.52, and went home a much wiser man. Of course, when his wife found out he'd blown the rent money in a poker game he became a much sadder man, too.

So yeah, squirrels can predict the future.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 01:50 PM

Funny -- I'd never heard of a faucet helmet before. Under the circumstances (65 coastal, 75 inland today) you can see why. But if it were I, I'd use something more durable than styrofoam, maybe a small bike helmet or a foam-lines outdoor switchcover box or the like. Betcha home depot would have something you could adapt to the requirement. Couple of lag bolts and no more dogchew.

In other news, it has been determined that squirrels can tell the future.

" December 22, 2006 @ 11:35AM (From Ars Technica).

Squirrels breed for the future


We tend to think of plants as being a passive food source for anything that decides to eat them, but, like anything else, the relationship between plants and their predators is subject to the same Darwinian arms race that rules most things in life. One strategy that trees have evolved is called "masting," and involves the synchronized production of excess seeds. Because the predator population should be reasonably constant, a sudden burst of seeds should swamp the population of whatever might eat them, allowing more seeds to successfully start a new generation. By the time a predator breeds in response to the excess food, the seeds are gone, and the new offspring will be threatened with starvation.

This whole strategy, of course, depends on animals not being able to see the future and breed more in advance of a mast. But research that appears in this week's edition of Science indicates that both European and American squirrels can do just that. Female squirrels can have either one or two litters of varying sizes during the reproductive season, but that season ends well in advance of seed production in the autumn. In theory, to adjust their reproduction to the season's food supply, squirrels would have to know in advance of the amount of seeds that would be produced. Apparently, they do. When researchers tracked populations of squirrels and their food supply for up to 15 years, they found that both litter size and the number of litters per year correlated with the amount of food produced later that year. The more food that was going to be available, the more pups the squirrels produced.

How do the squirrels sense the future? That remains unclear. It's not simply that a mast year is signaled by an earlier abundance of food, as the authors could supplement the food supply in the spring without upping the number of pups produced. Presumably, the squirrels are attuned to some aspect of tree biology that hints at a coming abundance. The authors suggest a number of possibilities for how this works, but haven't managed to test any of them yet. "


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 01:35 PM

Leave the faucets drip. Works like a charm to prevent freeze up.

Of course, other problems might possibly occur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 12:20 PM

Good suggestion! Let us know when you've perfected it.

I've been up for a couple of hours cleaning and doing laundry while my children sleep all snug in their beds. And in the name of reform (after so many cookies yesterday) I had a warm bowl of oatmeal and an apple for breakfast.

Say, Amos, while you're busy inventing, would you invent a faucet helmet that dogs can't tear off and play with? My backyard pooches have gone through two styrofoam covers and this morning they unwrapped the towel I put over the faucet last night when I realized it was going to freeze. (They were so cute this morning--I walked out to get the towel and they both ran and cowered near the porch--but when I held it like I do when I'm going to dry a wet dog they charged over and were very happy and frisky to be "dried" even though no one was wet.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 10:56 AM

I think we should make an artificial tree that just automatically rolls out on, say, Dec 20, all lit trimmed, and then rolls up back into a tube on January 2, and serves as a combination hatrack and wireless WAN relay antenna the rest of the year.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 06 - 01:04 AM

There are some good looking artificial trees--I saw some at Lowe's and Home Depot this year. But they'll go fast tomorrow and there is no way I'm heading anywhere NEAR a retail establishment in the next week. Let the loonies finish their shopping.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 09:36 PM

We made the leap to an artificial tree after Barky went to college, and it saves a lot of hassle, sits quietly in a box until needed and looks fine. Was a time I would have shuddered at the thought, but I am wiser and more tolerant than I was back then...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 02:32 PM

Ebbie,

I grew up in the land of christmas tree farms--Washington State had the market cornered for a lot of years. I always pass on the pines for a holiday tree, they don't look or smell right to me, but down here I also have to pass on the Doug firs. They were the trees of my childhood, but they get too dry too fast and they frankly don't do well when they're pruned to be christmas trees--the branches are too dense and they're ugly on the inside of the tree. In true firs the whorls are better distributed and parallel to the ground. If I lived in Washington still I'd probably go cut my own tree, and I'd get a Doug fir or a silver fir. The ones I usually get down here are noble fir and a lot of them seem to be grown in B.C. and Oregon nowadays.

Regardless of the type, I don't leave them up too long because I spent several years with the Forest Service putting the darned things out.


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