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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 06 Aug 06 - 07:29 PM
Amos 06 Aug 06 - 06:57 PM
Amos 06 Aug 06 - 02:49 PM
Acme 06 Aug 06 - 02:23 PM
Acme 06 Aug 06 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 06 Aug 06 - 10:18 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Aug 06 - 03:59 AM
Acme 06 Aug 06 - 12:32 AM
Tweed 05 Aug 06 - 11:43 PM
Amos 05 Aug 06 - 11:39 PM
Rapparee 05 Aug 06 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Aug 06 - 09:32 PM
Amos 05 Aug 06 - 09:31 PM
Acme 05 Aug 06 - 08:37 PM
Acme 05 Aug 06 - 08:30 PM
Amos 05 Aug 06 - 05:01 PM
Acme 05 Aug 06 - 04:12 PM
Amos 05 Aug 06 - 01:58 PM
Amos 05 Aug 06 - 12:46 PM
Acme 05 Aug 06 - 12:13 PM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage on Moonglow's new Dell 05 Aug 06 - 12:39 AM
Acme 04 Aug 06 - 07:29 PM
Rapparee 04 Aug 06 - 06:58 PM
Acme 04 Aug 06 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 04 Aug 06 - 05:41 PM
Amos 04 Aug 06 - 04:15 PM
Acme 04 Aug 06 - 03:50 PM
Rapparee 04 Aug 06 - 03:36 PM
Amos 04 Aug 06 - 02:57 PM
Amos 04 Aug 06 - 02:56 PM
Amos 04 Aug 06 - 02:56 PM
Rapparee 04 Aug 06 - 02:15 PM
beardedbruce 04 Aug 06 - 12:58 PM
Amos 04 Aug 06 - 12:09 PM
MMario 04 Aug 06 - 11:59 AM
Amos 04 Aug 06 - 11:50 AM
Acme 04 Aug 06 - 11:36 AM
beardedbruce 04 Aug 06 - 11:18 AM
Acme 04 Aug 06 - 09:55 AM
Rapparee 04 Aug 06 - 09:10 AM
beardedbruce 04 Aug 06 - 08:35 AM
Amos 04 Aug 06 - 02:51 AM
Acme 04 Aug 06 - 12:08 AM
Amos 03 Aug 06 - 09:12 PM
Peace 03 Aug 06 - 08:42 PM
Amos 03 Aug 06 - 08:31 PM
Peace 03 Aug 06 - 06:45 PM
Amos 03 Aug 06 - 06:41 PM
Rapparee 03 Aug 06 - 05:51 PM
Amos 03 Aug 06 - 04:27 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Aug 06 - 07:29 PM

Baby armadillos seem to be attracted by the sound of scratching in the dirt. We've had them come check us out while working in garden beds with hand cultivators. Little critters are about 90% blind and can't tell that a human is about fifty times bigger than Mammadillo. All they seem to notice is that something's making armadillo noises.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 06 - 06:57 PM

I hope the library's new roof is looking good, Rapaire. I'd like to think something has you covered in al this heat.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 06 - 02:49 PM

Put your beard out on the pavement,
Let your mind take to the sky
Keep your nose down to the grindstone,
Smell the roses passing by

Life is tough for armadillos
Even skunks are better paid
When you think that you have armor
And the world can walk right through you
Life is risky in the shade.
Life is risky in the shade.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Aug 06 - 02:23 PM

. . .and anything that stays on the pavement very long today is going to be cooked in just a few minutes. More humid also, making it a joy [not!] to go outside in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Aug 06 - 10:23 AM

You so rarely see them when they're not part of the pavement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 06 - 10:18 AM

What a very nice baby armadillo! And that picture answers the age-old question "Do baby armadillos have beards like Bee-Dubya-Ell?" too!

But wait! A beard...perhaps that is actually one of Bee-Dubya's baby photos! Could it be...?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Aug 06 - 03:59 AM

Hah! Yet another display of Tweed's abounding ignorance of mammalian quadrupeds! Those are not hamsters in my beard! They are baby armadillos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Aug 06 - 12:32 AM

Gold and riches, maybe that's why Amos is cranky. Something to do with pulling teeth for scrap gold sales. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 11:43 PM

Tweed's Log: MOABDATE13518

Solar flareups have caused some personality aberrations in the crew of late.

The usually agreeable Amos snaps at the slightest provocation. He's noticeably edgy and has shaved off his eyebrows for reasons known only to him. He refuses to give any explanation.   

Rapaire has transmogridated into a smarmy, yet oddly polite republican! and insists on having four forks of various sizes at mess.

Chief Engineer Bee Dubya, neglects his beloved accordion studies, preferring to conduct impromptu spelling bees instead. He has taken up hamster breeding and keeps two or three hidden in his beard, which only serve to unnerve the contestants, as they sometimes crawl up to the exercise wheel that their master has fashioned into a sort of headgear. It is especially hard on Rapaire during meals and the poor fellow can be heard all over the main deck. "TAKE IT OFF!! FOR CHRIST'S SAKES, WE'RE EATING DINNER HERE!!" and Beezer calmly sups his soup with hamsters spinning merrily away, completely oblivious to the forks. squeek...squeeeek......squeeeeeeek....

And this battered vessel called MOAB ambles onward into the great unknown, leaving only the scent of Tang, Ho-Ho's and a hint of mildew in her wake. The GreatBlack Hole, hitherto uncharted and known only as X-14K looms like a mountain range in the distance.

What new adventures await the crew of the Ark? Gold and riches beyond their wildest dreams....Or something a little more sinister?

BuWahahahah..kaff kaff......ack phhttt!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 11:39 PM

Yeahh, yeah, Rapaire, don't teach yer gramma to suck eggs. My mind is sharp enough to take a bead on you when you start posting all innocent like. I know when you're up to something.

"Oh, Noooo, Aunt Polly??? Meeee? Why, I'd NEVER...."



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 10:41 PM

Why Amos, I'm simply trying to be polite and show consideration for others. First you accused me (in another thread) of being Republican and now I'm told that I'm "smarmy." That's all right though. I understand that your beady little mind cannot comprehend when someone is following the dictates of Miss Manners and attempting to make life pleasant for others. Perhaps that's just a result of living too long in Southern California amidst Those Kind Of People.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 09:32 PM

Hi, Mom! I don't have much to say. I was looking for a Clinton Hammond-free thread and this looked like a good candidate. He's not around here, is he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 09:31 PM

Small, wonderful little miracles, eh? Thanks for doing that, Still.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 08:37 PM

Oh, and Amos, if you want to feel better go do a good deed. I did one of those today also. I was pushing a cart with three small things in it in the grocery store and came across an elderly man with a hand basket putting a flat of 30 eggs in it, and they were rolling out because it would only go in on an angle. I stopped to help rescue his eggs and suggested we trade. I left with the hand basket and he rolled off with the cart, eggs flat and all intact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 08:30 PM

Got my tire fixed. Hot as hell out there today, but I figured I'd get it out of the way. The shop I bought it in closed, so I went to another in the chain.

"How much will that cost?"

"It's free. You bought it from us so we fix and balance it free."

Sometimes all it takes is one little thing to make your day. :) They put the spare back up under the back and put everything away. How nice!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 05:01 PM

I'm sorry -- I fogot to put my liddle winky face in. I love Rapaire like a brother. He knows that. And you and BWL and Suz Rustic and all the other madcap regulars in these parts.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 04:12 PM

Still a little cranky from the heat, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 01:58 PM

Rapaire:

Your smarmy agreeableness really sucks, ya know that?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 12:46 PM

Our heat wave has broken here - the normal maritime airs are cooling us. Maybe ours went down your way...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 12:13 PM

So, the big bang yesterday was a nail that went into the tire when I drove over something that stayed on the road so the nail didn't stay in the tire. The leak would have been slower that way. Good thing I got home (and didn't stop anywhere on the way or I'd have made that call to AAA from the grocery store parking lot). It was 10am when they guy got here (pretty quickly after I called) and I think it's already 95 out there. It's supposed to get up to 105 today. Bleahhh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage on Moonglow's new Dell
Date: 05 Aug 06 - 12:39 AM

Well, the week has been consistent, I must stay. I started with a fridge on the fritz and I end with a flat tire. Just went out to move the aforesaid Chevy PU into the garage and it didn't drive right. I heard a big bang when I was on the highway earlier this evening but there was no change in driving it (though I was headed off to a side street, and I drove on boulevards the rest of the way home). This is what I pay AAA for. I'll call early so the burly fellow who arrives to change my tire won't get too hot out there in the driveway.

Beware! This is what you get when you run over pointy headed pseudo-intellectuals and their sidewalk chalk on the highway!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 07:29 PM

Come to think of it, there was a humor piece floating around (first sent to me by sometimes Mudcat visitor Jean Smith) about the "Urka Gurka Clock." Wakes you right up when you hear that sound. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 06:58 PM

Oh, you certainly can't!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 06:20 PM

I don't remember that one, but he goes "Ack!" a lot. I visited that thread where someone will eventually get to be the last to post, and put something there just to say something. You just never know what people are going to read into the sound of a cat urping up a furball.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 05:41 PM

How very nice of you, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 04:15 PM

And I, sir, can think of no-one to whom your jealousy would be as well-suited...

Stilly: Is Bill the Cat the one who goes "Mrooowwwwwwwwr....".?


LOL


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 03:50 PM

Such interpretive skills the boy has, to take a random uttering on a different thread and assume it was aimed at him or was an invitation? Quote Bill the Cat and he imagines a treatise by Twain, perhaps? (i.e., "eschew surplussage.")

Careful crossing the highway lanes out there--be particularly watchful for extended cab Chevy pickups.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 03:36 PM

How very nice for you, Amos. I can think of no one for whom such a thing would have been nicer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 02:57 PM

To thirteen thousand
And
Five hundred!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 02:56 PM

And 'ere the sun had set he saw
HE'd made it...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 02:56 PM

It's coming close the old man cried!
I smell it, loud he thundered...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 02:15 PM

All are welcome here. Even Martin Gibson once posted here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 12:58 PM

It looks to me like I was invited here...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Subject: RE: BS: In every thread someone has to be last!
From: Stilly River Sage - PM
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 11:07 AM

ack!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


By the way, Silly, if you don't like my verse just don't bother to read it.

Your distinctions are of no consequence when it come to the quality of discourse about reality.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 12:09 PM

Because BB is from another family, and has escaped his chores at home. If you go out later and find him, perhaps he can teach you a few wiles. No guarantees, though -- remember, "You can't BS an old BSer". And ours is the Mother of them all.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 11:59 AM

How cume Bruce gets to go outside and play and MOM said I had to finish my chores first? Huh? Howcum?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 11:50 AM

When Mom says 'Go outside and play!'
There isn't much a lad can say;
If wise, he just gets on his way,
Knowing there are worlds of folded danger
Within her gentle command.

And let him thankful be,
That she not spankful be
And let the screen door close behind
Unscarred by wrath in Mother's mind
And Mother's wrathful hand.

The world without is full of Other
To satify a curious brother,
And leave behind the mines and bombs
That lurk within all pissed-off Moms
Should one against them stand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 11:36 AM

Before we start slinging around black pots and kettles, BB, let's both acknowledge that your bow is strung just a little too tight to tolerate much of the wide-ranging repartee on this thread. Your distinctions are of no consequence when it come to the quality of discourse in the MOAB.

Mom says you need to go outside and play, and she said to give you some sidewalk chalk so you can go write a sonnet on a freeway retaining wall. I suggest a linear format on the left side of the road or drivers won't have time to read it (unless traffic has ground to a halt, in which case you can make it as tall as you want.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 11:18 AM

"Crap is a term meaning either poor quality or feces. The former meaning is sometimes considered mildly vulgar; the latter meaning is oftentimes considered mildly or moderately vulgar, but could be, on occasion, viewed as strongly vulgar by means of scatological and sensory-provoking use of the word.

In its former meaning it also connotes inaccurate, of little factual substance, lies, hype, or quackery. It can be partnered with "bull" to enhance the power of the word.

The word is considered by many people to be less offensive than "shit", which holds similar meanings and can be used nearly interchangeably. Some people find the word crap offensive, even if not intended to mean feces, and will use the minced oath "crud" instead. Alternatively, for some people, crap more closely retains its association with feces than "shit" and is therefore more offensive than the latter."






I have already noted your constant postings of "crap"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 09:55 AM

"Crap" and BS are NOT the same thing, BB. Look out or well start posting examples to illustrate this important point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 09:10 AM

Except MOAB, which started out at BS. You can't be .9 and 1.0 at the same time, although .9 is contained within 1.0. Thus MOAB is perfect and contains within it The All, The Cosmic Unity. I leave it to you whether or not MOAB is the Ultimate Religion, but I will point out that there is no collection taken and everyone is infallible and every day is MOABday....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 08:35 AM

"Sturgeon's Revelation, which states, "90% of everything is crap"."

Applied recursively, 90% of the remaning 10% is crap.
90% of the remaning 1% is crap.
90% of the remaning .1% is crap.
90% of the remaning .01% is crap.
90% of the remaning .001% is crap.
...


It is ALL crap. Thus, MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 02:51 AM

Nawww -- raisins, at best.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Aug 06 - 12:08 AM

Jujubes, not prunes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 09:12 PM

How can you fit nine wrinkled old prunes into one post?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 08:42 PM

Nine what? Keriste, what a question. Nine of these. (And think of THEM when you age.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 08:31 PM

Nine what?


A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 06:45 PM

This post is evenly divisible by 9, FYI.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 06:41 PM

Well, that's inflation for ya!! Hell, I started out pumping gas at less than 30 cents a gallon, with free windshield washing thrown in.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 05:51 PM

Yes. Only it's been recently updated to 98%.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 06 - 04:27 PM

It has only one provision: 'Nothing is always absolutely so.'

On this, you may rely.

You may be thinking of, or emulating, Sturgeon's Revelation, which states, "90% of everything is crap".

A


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