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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 05 - 04:45 PM
Acme 08 Feb 05 - 04:12 PM
Acme 08 Feb 05 - 04:05 PM
Teresa 08 Feb 05 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 05 - 02:40 PM
Acme 08 Feb 05 - 02:34 PM
GUEST,Dire, Serious & Grave 08 Feb 05 - 01:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 05 - 01:01 PM
Layah 08 Feb 05 - 12:35 PM
Acme 08 Feb 05 - 12:25 PM
Amos 08 Feb 05 - 12:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 05 - 09:46 AM
Amos 08 Feb 05 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 08 Feb 05 - 09:24 AM
Acme 08 Feb 05 - 12:33 AM
Rapparee 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 PM
khandu 07 Feb 05 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 05 - 08:40 PM
Bunnahabhain 07 Feb 05 - 06:56 PM
Amos 07 Feb 05 - 04:34 PM
GUEST,heric 07 Feb 05 - 04:13 PM
GUEST,MMario 07 Feb 05 - 03:49 PM
Teresa 07 Feb 05 - 03:45 PM
GUEST,MMario 07 Feb 05 - 03:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 05 - 03:33 PM
GUEST,MMario 07 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 03:31 PM
Teresa 07 Feb 05 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 05 - 03:19 PM
GUEST,MMario 07 Feb 05 - 03:11 PM
GUEST,MMario 07 Feb 05 - 03:09 PM
Amos 07 Feb 05 - 03:01 PM
GUEST,MMario 07 Feb 05 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 05 - 01:30 PM
GUEST,heric 07 Feb 05 - 11:58 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 05 - 11:27 AM
Amos 07 Feb 05 - 10:56 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:52 AM
GUEST,heric 07 Feb 05 - 10:47 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:34 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:33 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 AM
GUEST,MMario 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 AM
Acme 07 Feb 05 - 10:30 AM
Amos 07 Feb 05 - 10:23 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 05 - 09:50 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 07 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM
Teresa 07 Feb 05 - 03:11 AM
Teresa 07 Feb 05 - 02:19 AM
Layah 07 Feb 05 - 12:02 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 04:45 PM

I remembered where the "don't say r-t-b-ga" thing came from. It was on the radio this past weekend on "Michael Feldman's What Do Yo Know?". I forget the circumstances, but an audience member said something about she wasn't supposed to say "r-t-b-ga" on the air.

Now, I have a clear conscience and Feldman has no reason to file a lawsuit which means that Dire, Serious and Grave will have to postpone that bloodsucking feast they were planning until another day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 04:12 PM

Here is a more interesting photo of the thing that isn't a rut*beg* or a turnip, being handled by someone who knows what she's doing (and makes it look like a turnip).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 04:05 PM

My neighbor uses them when she makes her greens recipe. They're very good, though I wouldn't mind if there were a little less tart.

As an aside, these things are sometimes confused with turnips. American Indians used to dig something referred to by colonists as a turnip, or a prairie turnip. It was actually a legume called Psoralea esculenta. Also called pomme blanche, and pomme de prairie, (funny how that works--the French name it by what it isn't, i.e., and apple--"white apple" or "prairie apple" as in naming a potato the "pomme de terre" or "apple of the earth") but, as far as I know, never called rut*beg*.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 03:37 PM

I love rut ... swedes.

Got a whole case of canned ones at the canned-food salvage, and loved eating them. Didn't have to mess with peeling and all that, either. Haven't seen any since, so I guess no one else likes them.

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 02:40 PM

I care not a wit for lawyers (except my wife, who are one). So I post
this picture, but must also state that it is of a disgusting and repulsive nature that is suitable only for mature adults, that by clicking on the link (a/k/a "blicky," "blue clicky," and other names) you certify that you are over 37 years of age, of sound physical and mental health (as defined for your age group by the CDC), are financially solvent, have had no major defects in your primary means of transportation within the last ten (10) years, have not been convicted or even suspected of any crime against either nature or the state, and have made no claims against any insurance company, profit or not-for-profit organization, corporation, group, bunch, mob, aggregation, federation combine, federation, union, institution, trust, cartel, business, company, society, band, clique, troupe or system, whether publicly or privately held, in North America or any outlying continent, in the last four hundred (400) years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 02:34 PM

Here is the small print in that r*tabega rule. It's left over from a broken link of Masato's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Dire, Serious & Grave
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 01:18 PM

Feb. 8th, 2005

Dear MOAB

It has come to our recent attention that the word 'rutabaga' a common english term for Brassica napobrassica has been used by a denizen of your environs. As you are aware, your parental duties strictly prohibit use of such term on postings under your influence.

Should the use of such term continue we will be forced to report your and the user to such authorities as appropriate.

S.O. Dire
B. Serious
N. Grave


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 01:01 PM

Thank God it only has Swedes! It could have rutabagas instead! We have very few rules here on th MOAB but even mentioning the word "rutabaga" is absolutely forbidden. The consequences are Dire, Serious and Grave, which, just by happenstance, is also the name of the law firm that handles all of our plagiarism lawsuits.


(Yes, I hijacked the rutabaga bit from someplace, but I don't remember where. No, it has nothing to do with Belgium.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 12:35 PM

My soup says suitable for vegetarians, but it lies! I read the ingredients, and it contains Swedes. It's only suitable for cannibals. I would have thought the Swedish government would protest if no one else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 12:25 PM

Rap, you forgot to mention Bobert's Wes Ginny spontaneous bidet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 12:25 PM

See what I mean??Technology! ! Innovation!!!   Compassion!!! Philosophical Insight! Food and Shelter!!

The MOAB has EVERYTHING!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 09:46 AM

No, Rapaire, that's not my new outhouse, though the idea's kinda similar. That one's for land use. Mine is built on an old paddleboat so we can paddle around the pond while takin' a dump. And it's a two-seater, not a single-wide.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 09:33 AM

Thank God there are volunteers like Rapaire around who have the will and fortitude to pull off such miracles of desperate travail, saving us all from the trouble of it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 09:24 AM

And "hard drive," too.

But! After long and difficult work, I have managed to track down a picture not only of Khandu's head, but of Bee-Dubya's golf cart (Khandu's is the second photo).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 12:33 AM

Gives new meaning to the term "laptop."

;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 PM

Khandu has a computer and Internet connection by his toilet?? And people call me geeky????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 09:55 PM

Teresa, you are correct..we have met formerly & formally, but that was another place & and another time. Tony Joe White said that but he wasn't talking about you & me. No, T.J. was speaking of Willie & Laura Mae, who do indeed live in a parallel omniverse! Thanks for the homage, however. I greatly enjoy every drop of homage I get!

Layah, to begin the process of spending time in a random day in your past, you must spend an inordinate amount of time at MOAB. This has a similar effect upon the head as does an "ASCID" (AKA "Witches Cradle") only more so, with only half the carbs!

heric, all too well I remember your first post to MOAB. It made me question my existence, until I finally realized that I am, therefore I think, I think. All this came to me as I was sitting on the toilet, straining over your enigmatic post. The fact that you have never been heard from since that first post proves that you were sent from the Great "Out-there"! A Statue is being built upon the site of your visitation.

Oh, I smell the ...gotta go!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 08:40 PM

Yeah! Bring back Lake Bonneville! Great fishing, great water-skiing, great all-around fun!! And Lake Agassiz, too! I used to go surfing there, and it was all time!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 06:56 PM

By the way, Bunn, what is the significance of "Bunnahabhain"? Is it your real name? The name of a demon of whom you are extremely fond? The name of a nearby hill where restless spirits roam the night?

Actually a bay, on Islay, where the spirits are restlessly distilled, and tend to roam the night in hip flasks...

And not far from where Harris tweed comes from, which being in the outer Hebredies, definitly counts as another dimension, at the very least.

Bring back lake Bonneville!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 04:34 PM

The Salton Sea is indeed a very salty inland sea, but smaller than the Mormon's own Great Salt Lake.

It is amusing to swim in the Great Salt Lake as long as you keep your eyes from splash. You tend to bob on the surface more than you expect.

I haven't tried the Salton Sea which is just north of the Sea or Cortez and was once connected to it. In fact legend has it there is a large Spanish galleon buried in the sand near the Salton Sea, which sailed up from the Manila trade route and was cut off by an earthquake which sealed off the North end, leaving the Salton Sea separate from the Sea of Cortez.

I wasn't there at the time, but a friends says he has seen the spars of her sticking out of the sand.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 04:13 PM

I went down to the welfare to git myself some grits and such
but the lady smiled at me and said YOU AIN'T BEEN AROUND ENOUGH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:49 PM

and he did - which is why the bush was burning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:45 PM

Oh forgive; I knew you were smarter'n that. :) I had a temporary brain short-circuit.

Skin is the most elastic natural material. I know, because God told Moses to tie his ass to a tree and walk forty miles. :-P

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:38 PM

Teresa - I learned in school the oceans were salt and inland waterways are fresh.

Now you expect me to believe differently? ;)

(this is the MOAB thread.)

granted - I'm a little doubtful about the elastic Bison as well...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:33 PM

It means that they can be made "fully hardy" by incorporating a small amount of Viagra into their feeding mixture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM

"half-hardy" usually means they will last a second year if you can keep them from freezing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:31 PM

They're attractive. Are you planning to plant some? (In the greenhouse, if nowhere else?)

As for heric's early post--since I didn't read all of the way back, I didn't see it. He hasn't been around often since then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:28 PM

That sounds like fun, Rapaire. I prefer to do the trip with books and imagination. :)

Er, MMario, Salt Lake? and I believe there are many smaller lakes. and is there not a Salton Sea as well?

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:19 PM

The genus Osteospermum belongs to the plant family Compositae (Asteraceae) or Daisy family. The plant originates from South Africa and is therefore also known under the common name 'African Daisy'.

The word Osteospermum comes from Greek 'osteon' (=bone) and Latin 'spermum' (=seed): bone seed. Osteospermums are half hardy perennials and will therefore not survive frost conditions. However, they can be propagated by cuttings or may be over-wintered in a greenhouse or conservatory.


What the heck does "half hardy mean?" Seems to me that they would be or they wouldn't be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:11 PM

and no, that's not a rhetorical question.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:09 PM

Why would anyone name a flower osteospermum?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:01 PM

. Destined to flow by each other a thousand times yet, somehow, never to touch.


I'm sorry, Monsieur Rapaire, I imagined the part about the truck; I was speaking of the similarity of your relationship to Sorcha to the travels of Tweed and khandu as described by BeeDubyaEll.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 01:50 PM

y'know - just when you start believing him Rapaire throws something in that just fails the 'suspension of disbelief" test.

a salt sea in the middle of the country - yeah - right. Sure. Piping the fumes from the car back into the drivers seat, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 01:30 PM

Amos, I drove myself out to Idaho in a 1999 Honda Civic LX. I was not shipped out in a big truck, although my furniture, etc. followed later in one. Neither was my wife shipped out, but drove herself in a 1993 Honda Accord LX (which she later drove back East and sold to our graduate-school-bound niece).

During my Journey West I stopped at several places and saw many wonderous things: Sidney, Nebraska; a truck stop outside Cheyenne, Wyoming (where I missed meeting the wonderous Sorcha by fifteen miles); a bunch of boys flying around fighting a pirate with a hook; Cabela's Sporting Goods; a mountain made of glass; a salt sea in the middle of the country; mountains made of rocks; antelope; coyotes; herds of bison that stretched as far as the eye can see; longs lines of covered wagons being drawn westward by teams of oxen; amber waves of grain; and even assorted Indians, both the kinds that wear saris and the kinds that wear jeans.

My wife will usually vouch for the truth of what I say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 11:58 AM

Those formative classics are currently being assembled into an anthology to be titled "Challenges: Prose Poetry of the Young Champion," self published by Bohners Press.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 11:27 AM

Actually, SRS, heric posted to the MOAB on its first evening of existence:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, heric - PM
Date: 05 May 03 - 08:56 PM

I object that the brown-shirt management of this site allows, unmolested, this implicit but unmistakable bashing of the transgenderedly challenged. They are NOT all marimba players as you well know and I will not stand idly by while . . . I QUIT


To which khandu replied:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu - PM
Date: 05 May 03 - 09:00 PM

Uh...what the hell did heric just say???

k


The exchange has gone down in MOAB history as a prime example of "Utterly Meaningless Gibberish" (or "WTF" for short) Unfortunately, heric's subsequent posts have been rare until recently. His computer access was extremely curtailed after that incident with the canary and the begonia. It's taken him a while to convince the staff that the new meds are working well enough that he should be allowed into the computer room unsupervised.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:56 AM

Heric:

SRSbeat you fair and square. Now you must dine on raven.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:52 AM

I've posted plenty of poetry in days past. You're a newbie to this thread or you'd know that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:47 AM

That was good Stilly, but you've got to work on your poetry. And remember, a champion will prefer to let slots *98 and *99 pass. Remember: Float like a butterfly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:34 AM

Darned slow DSL today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:33 AM

Hang in there, Leo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 AM

Are you guys paying attention? I am not a football fan, but I do know about blocking the offensive action of a "double-ought" crasher. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:32 AM

or go to you local Library and hang in the stacks after hours. Fastest route to an alternate universe that exists.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:30 AM

Doesn't have to happen that way, though. I've made lots of cross-country trips in my pickemup truck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 10:23 AM

Rapaire had a similar adventure during his move from Never-Never Land to Idaho in a big truck.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 09:50 AM

Slight correction, Rapaire. While Tweed and Khandu did in fact go off on such a journey, they didn't exactly do it together. Tweed's point of embarkation was Tweedsburg, located in the wilds of Palm Beach County while khandu set out from the Royal Palace in Tupelo, otherwise known as Uncle Tink's Place. They arrived at their mutual destination a couple of miliseconds apart, but in that particular universe time moves so slowly that a milisecond is like a week in our own universe. Tweed, who arrived first, quickly ran out of Newport Lights and had to find a Seven-Eleven to buy more. Khandu arrived while Tweed was out scoring smokes and hung around until he was overtaken by a Big Mac attack and had to hie to the nearest MacDonalds. Needless to say, Tweed arrived back at the Destination Point while khandu was out. This type of thing went on for several more miliseconds with them continually missing each other for one reason or another until they finally both said "Fuck it!" and went back home.

Tweed and khandu... Like two turds in the same sewer... Destined to flow by each other a thousand times yet, somehow, never to touch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM

Yes, Teresa, there CAN be more than one, but to get to them you would have to travel into parallel universes. Such travel is very, very complicated and difficult and should not be undertaken without proper equipment and training.

The best way is to gird your loins with a gladius, a targe, a complete set of bagpipes (the big Scottish war pipes are best), a parfleche containing dried corn, dried meat and/or fish and/or berries, warm clothing, at least 10 liters of water or other drink of your choice, several feet of logging chain, a lariat, two or three bodhrans, and a copy of the complete writings of either Paul Dirac or Ted Gissell.

Properly outfitted, you must find then find a rabbit warren, as the tunnels in bunny havens are the easiest (and only non-lethal) way to journey to these other universes (the others involve black holes, blue event horizons, and stuff like those). Crawl through the bunny tunnels (old-time MOABites call them "bunny tunnies"), following every twist and turn, and eventually you will see a White Rabbit chasing a pre-pubescent girl. Follow them, and after you pass through the place where The King is sleeping with Sir Francis Drake's drum, turn left and continue straight on until morning. And there you'll be.

Tweed and Khandu went off on such a journey together, and they only made it part-way back. That's why they're not around here as much as they used to be -- they're only partly with us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 03:11 AM

Woops, I forgot to pay homage to the king of BS ... hello khandu! We've met formally and formerly on this very thread, but it was close to a year back, or was that eons? :) Some other parallel MOAB (can there be more than one?)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 02:19 AM

Yeah, Rapaire, he did it; I saw him hit you. I mean ... um, I heard the rich voice and mellifluous strains and smelled the aromatic breezes of BS, I did, and I said to myself "Hey, 'at 'air's bee-dubya; yep,'at's right." :)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 07 Feb 05 - 12:02 AM

You people disgust me. You read bunny haven and immediately assume the worst. It could be a totally innocent love of pet bunnies. Besides which, it obviously comes from Yiddish, meaning somebody who has buns. I can just see you all about to misinterpret that one too. Well in Yiddish the word bun does not have any other meaning, so it won't work. We're obviously talking about bread products here.


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