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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

freda underhill 31 May 04 - 09:58 AM
Amos 31 May 04 - 09:23 AM
freda underhill 31 May 04 - 08:30 AM
Acme 31 May 04 - 12:25 AM
GUEST,Tweed 30 May 04 - 10:22 PM
freda underhill 30 May 04 - 06:55 PM
beardedbruce 30 May 04 - 05:07 PM
Amos 30 May 04 - 05:01 PM
Acme 30 May 04 - 04:46 PM
beardedbruce 30 May 04 - 03:36 PM
freda underhill 30 May 04 - 01:29 PM
Amos 30 May 04 - 10:05 AM
Acme 29 May 04 - 06:22 PM
beardedbruce 29 May 04 - 03:23 PM
beardedbruce 29 May 04 - 03:17 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 04 - 03:13 PM
Rapparee 29 May 04 - 11:08 AM
Little Hawk 29 May 04 - 10:53 AM
Rustic Rebel 29 May 04 - 02:20 AM
Acme 29 May 04 - 01:16 AM
beardedbruce 28 May 04 - 09:37 PM
GUEST,lurker 28 May 04 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 05:52 PM
Amos 28 May 04 - 02:30 PM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 02:00 PM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 01:58 PM
Amos 28 May 04 - 12:49 PM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 12:07 PM
freda underhill 28 May 04 - 10:22 AM
GUEST,MMario 28 May 04 - 10:04 AM
Amos 28 May 04 - 10:00 AM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,MMario 28 May 04 - 09:07 AM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 08:59 AM
freda underhill 28 May 04 - 08:08 AM
JennyO 28 May 04 - 08:02 AM
Amos 27 May 04 - 02:53 PM
GUEST 27 May 04 - 02:45 PM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 02:01 PM
Amos 27 May 04 - 12:47 PM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 12:07 PM
Acme 27 May 04 - 10:23 AM
GUEST,Ponderer of the inpondrable 27 May 04 - 09:08 AM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 09:01 AM
Amos 26 May 04 - 11:33 PM
GUEST,lurker 26 May 04 - 06:50 PM
Acme 26 May 04 - 04:44 PM
Rapparee 26 May 04 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 26 May 04 - 03:57 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 03:47 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 31 May 04 - 09:58 AM

true, an ant's eye view of the world can lead to the worst dose of tunnel vision. working in a government enclave is a bit like being in a subterraneum kingdom.. artificial light, artificial air conditioning, a hierarchy of lords and servants, in a self contained and artificial world. i'm hoping for a string of gypsies to dance through and find an exit, so that i can follow and escape!

but in the meantime, MOAB keeps pumping on..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 04 - 09:23 AM

I think the Agarthi legends have their roots in factual history for those humans along the centuries who have been reincarnated as ants.

No telling what they've got going on down beneath the Gobi or under the Himalayas. Really a charming conceit.

I have been rasty of late in reaction to higher-than-average doses of poor taste and rat-shit mediocrity being flaunted about in the raiment of aesthetics, a sort of mental delusion which always depresses the hell out of me. My apologies if I have tread on anyone's toes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 31 May 04 - 08:30 AM

meanwhile, back at the ranch...

One of the world's oldest legends tells of a vast underground network of tunnels and passageways connecting the great continents of the earth to a subterranean kingdom somewhere beneath the heart of Asia.

"Among the Mongolian tribes of Inner Mongolia," wrote the British explorer T. Wilkins, "there are traditions about tunnels and subterranean worlds which sound as fantastic as anything in modern novels. One legend - if it be that - says that the tunnels lead to a subterranean world of Antediluvian descent somewhere in a recess of Afghanistan, or in the region of the Hindu Kush. It is Shangri-la where science and the arts, never threatened by world wars, develop peacefully, among a race of vast knowledge. It is even given a name: Agharti."

According to Theosophical tradition, the last remnants of a super-civilisation which once flourished in what is now the Gobi fled below ground into two underground cities known respectively as Shambhalla and Agharti. Drawing upon the popular concepts of the Theosophists, the writings of 19th century occultists, and authentic Tibetan references to Agharti/Shamballah, some researchers place these cities not in super-bunkers hewn beneath the Himalayas, but actually inside a hollow Earth.

In their book The Morning of the Magicians, Louis Pauwels and Jacques Bergier state:

"This idea of a hollow Earth is connected with a tradition which is to be found everywhere throughout the ages. The most ancient religious texts speak of a separate world situated underneath the Earth's crust which was supposed to be the dwelling-place of departed spirits. When Gilgamesh, the legendary hero of the ancient Sumerian and Babylonian epics, went to visit his ancestor Utnapishtim, he descended into the bowels of the Earth; and it was there that Orpheus went to seek the soul of Euridice. Ulysses, having reached the furthermost boundaries of the Western world, offered a sacrifice so that the spirits of the Ancients would rise up from the depths of the Earth and give him advice. Pluto was said to reign over the underworld and over the spirits of the dead. The souls of the damned went to live in caverns beneath the Earth. Venus, in some Germanic legends, was banished to the bowels of the Earth. Dante situated his Inferno among the lowest circles. In European folk-lor! e dragons have their habitat underground, and the Japanese believe that deep down underneath their island dwells a monster whose stirrings are the cause of earthquakes."

.........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 May 04 - 12:25 AM

Well I'll have to go back and look later--I didn't find it, whatever it was you were upset about Bruce, but as I said before, this thread isn't particularly civilized, it has been here a long time, you haven't, so go away if we play to rough for you. Maybe you and Bill Shatner can find a nice quiet corner to get together and do some interpretive readings of your poems? Wadda ya say, LH? Would Bill do it?

You interrupted my trying to bait Amos about that 'oral' fondling remark he made!!!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 30 May 04 - 10:22 PM

Well,well,well....today I waz out walking on the abvenue when whut should come to my eye but a couple obv motorcycle folks that wabz so big thet they motorcycules wabz dwarfed beneef obv them! Now, the onliest way thet I were able to tell they ware a couple was on account of one obv them was covered in fur and the other was yellin' at him at the stop light. I hab no idee what they was sayin' to one another as it seemed to be in a furrin tonghue ob some sort.

Amos' name did not seem to be mentioned so I kin only assume thet they waz not MOABITES nor offended by hiz antics ob late. I surely hop not, az Amos iz not normal offensive most ob the time, but he is become summat surly of late! Anyhow, the lite changed to green and they roared on down the pike wif they fur and tongues wagging at high rpm's.

The oddest things seem to happen around here lately, I ain't sure whar it will all go, but am anxious to have a climax.

yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 May 04 - 06:55 PM

and now for something completely different!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 30 May 04 - 05:07 PM

Actually, that the terms you chose to be insulting with might be insulting to a number of other people, in addition to the intended target.... But lighten up, people....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 04 - 05:01 PM

BB was concerned that if I was not careful, i might insult someone.

I took great pains in the post he cites to be as insulting as I could think to be.

So I am not sure if the admonishment has any merit. It is not as though I was unintentionally offensive -- my diatribe was specifically and precisely aimed at one individual whose ego I intended to hurt. No other egos need apply.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 May 04 - 04:46 PM

What are you talking about, BBruce? No one made weight a requirement or a limitation. And putting Amos and the Governator in the same category serves to confuse readers. There's so little they have in common, beyond the lowest common denominator of male paraphernalia.

Amos did however say something about pleasure being . . .orally. . . measured.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 30 May 04 - 03:36 PM

" and an Overweight Person"

Amos, you need to be more careful. Not everyone can be like you and the Gov. of California.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 May 04 - 01:29 PM

..and Rapaire, are you going to wear that nice black outfit you have on in your Mudcat profile?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 04 - 10:05 AM

Just to correct Mister Rapaires distortions (obviously feeling a bit desperate, he) I specified that the fondlees must be Genuinely Female. This was not meant to exclude anyone as long as they were born with original female equipment rather than acquiring it through surgical intervention or post-adolescent shopping.

All selected fondlees will be rewarded with waves of affectionate gratitude. The size of the waves will be determined by response magnitude as expressed orally, through body language, or thermally.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 May 04 - 06:22 PM

This isn't a particularly civilized thread, BBruce, and we play with the html. WMD = Wielding Mild Drivel

At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later
discovered to be a public school math teacher, was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a compass, a protractor, and a graphic calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious
al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying
weapons of math instruction.
SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 29 May 04 - 03:23 PM

SRS:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage - PM
Date: 29 May 04 - 01:16 AM

"Yeah, well, beardedbruce, don't build it out in the garage unless your neighbors have all moved away. If your bomb's anything like your poetry, I'll look for a puff of smoke instead of a mushroom cloud."

Sorry, I live near Takoma Park, MD. They passed a law making it illegal to have nuclear bombs in the area.

ANd I thought that you considered my poetry to be a WMD....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 29 May 04 - 03:17 PM

Well, I would rather that "now" continued in the present direction...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 04 - 03:13 PM

This is Little Hawk. The tone doesn't seem to be functioning, so I am leaving this message anyway. You are seriously ill. Or as Spaw would put it, "you're totally fucked". Stop now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 04 - 11:08 AM

Sorry, but I'm not in just now. I'll return on Monday evening, if the crick don't rise. I've gone to Camp David/the ranch/the city/on a political campaign tour for the Memorial Day weekend. Please leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as quickly as possible, if I feel like it, when I return.

Now sit there and listen for the tone....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 04 - 10:53 AM

What you need to do, Rapaire, is put "Real Dolls" into Google, do a search, and click on the first link that shows up on the search page....

Try it. Look around. And don't forget to read the Howard Stern testimonial and all the other anonymous letters about the product(s).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 May 04 - 02:20 AM

Rapaire, with all those big letters and colors, I just think you sound horny.
You look horny, you act horny, you read horny.
Horny is it?
Hornier than I have ever known
you to be horny before.
Put on a pair of those big buck horns, horny.
HORNY.
Horny like it makes a jello jiggle.
Horny like it makes you want to giggle,
horny like it wounds a worms wiggle.
HORNY.

I respect horny.


Hey MOABS, wish you were here. I'm doing another week-end bash and I wish you all were here but I only ask you to do me a favor and in the morning, please, get naked and do a sun dance for me.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 May 04 - 01:16 AM

Yeah, well, beardedbruce, don't build it out in the garage unless your neighbors have all moved away. If your bomb's anything like your poetry, I'll look for a puff of smoke instead of a mushroom cloud.

Amos did post a request, Rapaire. He said "Genuine (Original Equipment) Females Only."

I guess that leaves me out--the plumbing's right, but I'm missing a couple of bits of the original equipment. . .

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:37 PM

"wow! nuklee-ear bombs! Take me back to grammer school. (Very few people realize just how easy it is to build a nuclear bomb - assuming a)you can get the fissionables (given the rate they go missing - not THAT difficult) and b) you don't need the workers to survive."

Actually, quite a few of us know how easy it is.... I could teach a 12 year old to build one...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,lurker
Date: 28 May 04 - 06:12 PM

Sure sounds better than lurking...do either of you have one of those palm buzzer things?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 05:52 PM

Fondalees Wanted!!


Genetically female volunteers needed to serve as
fondalees in the


Great Fond Du Lac
Fondling Follies



to be contested between


Rapaire,


a sensitive, intelligent, yet macho guy from the manly
state of Idaho, and


Amos,


who hails from Southern California, and you know
what sort of people live there.


This will be based upon scientific principles, and will
use the latest in fondling measurement tools, including
nifty wireless stuff and computer equipment that will
make NASA jealous.


Rapaire has asked for genetically female fondalees, but
Amos has expressed no preference.


Date and venue dependant upon the weather.


RSVP


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 04 - 02:30 PM

Well, have you heard of the Gondles, down in Fond du Lac?
I say, have you heard of the Fondles down in Fond du Lac?
They would make a rich man give up money, make a po' gal break her back!...


Hmm -- a technical challenge would be to provide real time scoring without all the sensors interfering with the contestants. Maybe 64-bit audio stream recording with multi-node parallel processing analysis to indicate the dimensions of heavy breathing baselined against normal rest state, co-tabulated with infrared detection of epidermal flush indices. Could be done with completely wireless systems, remote sensors and such.

Okay, big R!! You got a deal. Fond Du Lac it is, but no skeeters and weather must be clement (i.e., temp >65 and < 80 F., humidity < 80%.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 02:00 PM

The Fond Du Lac Fondles have GOT to be better than the Presidential Debates.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 01:58 PM

Fondalee, fondala, fondalee, fondala hahahahahahahahaha...sorry, that song makes me a bit giddy.

This should be on neutral ground. I propose Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin. The Great Fond Du Lac Fondle!!

If the ground is acceptable, I'll put out a call for volunteer fondalees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 04 - 12:49 PM

I really must protest at this self serving allocation of duties. I don't think I will vote for your scheme, Rapaire. In fact I am sure I am as well or better qualified as you at fondling, and I challenge you to a fondling contest!! You provide the fondlees, I'll bring the beer, and we'll abide by the judgement of those fondled. Limited to volunteer fondlees only.

Maybe an ad in the Pennysaver or somepn... Fondlees Wanted!! Free Beer!! Genuine (Original Equipment) Females Only!!

But don't go getting too conceited -- bear in mind you are talking to the Founder of the Church of the Golden Globes and the Temple of the Divine Curve. Haptic Delicacy is my middle name.

Fondly,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 12:07 PM

No, I git the beer, brats and fondling because that way there'll be a scandal in my (short) administration. I could take the oath and then when I'm vested for the retirement bennies resign 'cause my conscience won't let me continue to serve whilst living a lie.

I'll do down in history as truthful and even admirable for it! If I fondled right, I could even be a rear admirable!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 May 04 - 10:22 AM

well, at least we've moved on from...

the blindingly obvious, which is obviously not blinding..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 May 04 - 10:04 AM

wow! nuklee-ear bombs! Take me back to grammer school. (Very few people realize just how easy it is to build a nuclear bomb - assuming a)you can get the fissionables (given the rate they go missing - not THAT difficult) and b) you don't need the workers to survive.

yes - it is simple enough for schoolchildren to do it. The plans are on the internet, I am sure (haven't looked) but were published in quite a few different magazines during the 60's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 04 - 10:00 AM

I don't know much about implosion type initiators except that they are small and expensive and are expected to cause fusion to start by reaction to an implosion of fissionable atoms. So maybe I could get transferred to fondling or beer consumption.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:34 AM

I got it! I got it!

How about:

Boosting the matter-energy conversion of lithium VI deutride in fission-initiated fusion reactions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who can resist talkin' 'bout makin' thermonukler bombs better???? Us real men kin talk 'bout boosting the matter-energy conversion of lithium VI deutride in fission-initiated fusion reactions and them real wimmin kin bring us cold beer 'n' hot brats!!

Amos kin do implosion-type initiators, and MMario kin do gun-type. Bee-dubya kin talk 'bout the lithium VI deutride, an' since I'm a candydate fer President I can't 'sociate with such war-like talk, so I'll jist eat the brats an' drink the beer an' fondle the wimmin.

Then I'll talk 'bout how we're studyin' up on how to git more bang fer the taxpayer's buck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:07 AM

well - option "f" is definately out - WAY to effete a subject.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:59 AM

I'm male (at least, I was when I...checked a few minutes ago), but I simply CANNOT stomach talking about Britney Spears, et al. So, would you rather talk about

a) belching and other bodily expulsions?
b) guns 'n' huntin'?
c) football?
d) wimmin?
e) what we did in The War?
f) Werner Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and its implications for our ability to ascertain knowledge about the cusp of the Blue Event Horizon?
g) my best drunk?
h) making armpit noises?
i) spittin'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:08 AM

it's all blindingly obvious, whatever thread we have , at some point men start talking about....
















William Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:02 AM

And the exercise is Pilates. Don't know about laying on balls tho - sounds kinda painful - but then I wouldn't know, cos I'm a grrrrl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:53 PM

Palm Pilate washed his hands, and said, "WHat IS truth?".

Palm Pilot just directs the movement of the palm. Different.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:45 PM

he does WHAT with WHO's Balls?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:01 PM

Wasn't Palm Pilot the Procurator of Judea who was in power way back when? Or am I thinking about the guy who makes you lay on balls and calls it exercise?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:47 PM

Rapaire --

You are your own Palm pilot. Who else??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:07 PM

So THAT'S what happened to my Palm Pilot (this is not a reference to onanism or self-abuse or masturbation or...).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:23 AM

Why on earth would you load the entire thing? You might need some counselling, lurker. That's a self-defeating self-flagellating thing to do. Always click on the number, never on the thread!

(Don't ever load this whole thread if you're on a laptop--your battery might catch fire from the effort!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ponderer of the inpondrable
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:08 AM

the wisdom of the ages is enclosed within the loving arms of MOAB

but only you can determine if it is worth it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:01 AM

My thoughts exactly. If you can't take the wait, never masturbate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:33 PM

Lurker:

No, you should steer clear of it in the future.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,lurker
Date: 26 May 04 - 06:50 PM

I've been waiting for ten minutes for this thread to load...was it worth it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 04 - 04:44 PM

Good! Shatner, eat your heart out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:58 PM

3300! I did it!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:57 PM

3299...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:47 PM

Captain Kirk:

I wasn't talking to you, but to a dull witted wannabe actor who comes around these parts from time to time looking for a role to play. Now you have taken all my wrath on a s some kind of personal insult, right? That was inaccurate and illogical.

A


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