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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Freds 18 May 03 - 04:42 PM
Oaklet 18 May 03 - 04:36 PM
Bill D 18 May 03 - 03:45 PM
Tweed 18 May 03 - 02:30 PM
khandu 18 May 03 - 12:46 PM
Amos 18 May 03 - 12:45 PM
Peg 18 May 03 - 12:30 PM
Tweed 18 May 03 - 12:06 PM
khandu 18 May 03 - 11:19 AM
Tweed 17 May 03 - 07:54 PM
Amos 17 May 03 - 05:39 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 03 - 04:43 PM
Amos 17 May 03 - 03:08 PM
khandu 17 May 03 - 02:03 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 03 - 01:14 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 03 - 12:36 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 03 - 12:02 PM
Amos 16 May 03 - 11:40 PM
Tweed 16 May 03 - 11:24 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 16 May 03 - 10:00 PM
Bill D 16 May 03 - 09:51 PM
khandu 16 May 03 - 09:42 PM
Bill D 16 May 03 - 09:33 PM
khandu 16 May 03 - 09:24 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 16 May 03 - 09:13 PM
khandu 16 May 03 - 08:56 PM
Tweed 16 May 03 - 08:43 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 16 May 03 - 05:03 PM
Amos 16 May 03 - 01:27 PM
Tweed 16 May 03 - 01:05 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 03 - 10:20 AM
MMario 16 May 03 - 09:35 AM
Amos 16 May 03 - 09:32 AM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 16 May 03 - 09:13 AM
Mark Cohen 16 May 03 - 12:36 AM
Amos 15 May 03 - 11:30 PM
Tweed 15 May 03 - 11:28 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 11:18 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 10:33 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 10:29 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 10:27 PM
Amos 15 May 03 - 10:17 PM
khandu 15 May 03 - 09:27 PM
Amos 15 May 03 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 15 May 03 - 06:05 PM
MMario 15 May 03 - 04:06 PM
CarolC 15 May 03 - 03:39 PM
Amos 15 May 03 - 01:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 May 03 - 02:06 AM
Amos 15 May 03 - 12:16 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Freds
Date: 18 May 03 - 04:42 PM

we let yu kno thut we inserded this inna yur innernet node ip adress 131.107.1.10 an 216.200.93.8 so that it wud git to yu

we are freds an we dunt tak yur langwij butt our translater duz an thats wut we r uzin   so hair iz yur mesaj

the galatik overlard hu iz the big cheez tuld uz too go to yur stinky holl of a planit an stomp it lik it wuz pupy shit cuz yu haf gon an bad moufed him r her onest to offen

so yu haf ben warnt we r cumin an wil bee ther in egzakly ten to the niney sefen stannard sekonds

then we r gunna smeer yu all ofer that pard uf the galeksy

haf a nis day

the freds


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Oaklet
Date: 18 May 03 - 04:36 PM

Little Hawk asked me to post here are plug my Bowel Resin, Upholsterers' Yeast and Caving Jelly Capsules. If you want prices in your Dollars, contact the Greek Fishing Ministry. If you want more information about the Gusset Westie, press one, now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 18 May 03 - 03:45 PM

not sure I am worthy of being "Iron" man...shouldn't that post go to Rusty Rebel?

I am more the aloomni.., allumanum, aluminimum Tytayneeum type.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 18 May 03 - 02:30 PM

I saw no evidence of such beautiful housing during the last year's expedition (Memphis Chronicles) into yore very fine State, Lord khanny. I suspect that these trailers must concentrated in eastern Mizippi and nearer to Alabama. I don't understand the attraction to Trans-Camaros though. Surely thar is no moonshiners left is there?

This year's Como Adventure looms closer and I hope to hoist a glass with yore miserable self next weekend!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 18 May 03 - 12:46 PM

Peg, the chord progression is the same except for the last two chords. The writer of "Hotel California" admitted that he borrowed the progression from "We Used To Know".

To see the vast improvements Mississippi suffered under my Glorious Reign,Click here. It is a wonderful tribute to a wonderful King.

Thanks to Rolfy over at TWEED'S Pitiful Website for the link!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 03 - 12:45 PM

Peg --

On this thrtead there is no know what the Answer Sought is, since no-one is quite clear on what the the Question was, if anything.

Even so, the chances are that, given the players on this warped and buckling stage, the Answer would remain unknown even if it were to shamble up to each of them in order and bite them on the arse. It is a Voyage, not a Destination. Welcome aboard the Malarkey Express Squirrelcage Rocket!

Such are the mysteries of BS.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peg
Date: 18 May 03 - 12:30 PM

When Jethro Tull play in concert they mention that "Hotel California" has the exact same chord progression as "We Used to Know."

Not sure if that was the answer you're seeking...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 18 May 03 - 12:06 PM

What utter and total BS my liege....It must be known unto you that the same old saps post here in MOAB because we are so full of BS it runneth in fountains from our ears. It dripeth from us like syrup from Vermont Maples, but as you say, we are nearly sucked dry.

You are not released and we shall never recognise another king ob Mizippi, MOAB or any other low lying area of the world. I would suggest that instead this wonderful thing be left to lie fallow like yore overworked cotton plantations so that it may absorb enough nitrogen to displace the stale methane that lingers like heavy and most sulfurous mist over this dark and sh*tty ground.

Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 18 May 03 - 11:19 AM

As a casual observer of this MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS (MOAB), I have become aware of a trend...the thread is dying. The thread has reached a point where the same old saps are the only ones posting. Now new blood has been shed in this thread for a while. We are becoming stagnant in our production of BS.

Nonetheless, I am compelled to add more, while the chance is still available.

BWL the , I saw your retort in the Spaw Birthday Thread, and I say "Easy, there Bud! Remember...I know where the bodies are buried. Just a friendly reminder."

Tweed, I see the buzzards circling over your shattered dreams of overthrowing my Kingdom. Tis sad to watch a nemesis crumble under his own instability. Any battle between you and khandland would be like a match between Wally Cox and Evander Holyfield. Not much to watch. Pay-per-View might make ten-twelve bucks on the broadcast.

I once considered you a worthy opponent, but you, like the Galactic Overload, just couldn't rise to the task. Big Talk from a Big Mouth with a teeney-weeney backbone.

Little Hawk, thank you for the kind words, but, as they say, all things must pass...even MOAB! I fear the end is drawing nigh!

And with the end of MOAB will come the end of the Glorious and Triumphant Reign of khandu, The King of All Mississippi. I have accomplished the tasks for which I came...to make Mississippi and the world a better place and to bring them to the Land of MOAB!

My throne shall not be filled by another...for indeed, who could fill it??? Instead, it shall become a Memorial to remind the future generations of the Glories One Man Can Attain! It shall be a symbol of "HOPE" for the despondent, a symbol of "CAN-DO" for the nay-sayers, and more importantly, as symbol of BS for the pious.

khandu King of All Mississippi


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 May 03 - 07:54 PM

zzzz....hmmmphh???...Spaw's birthday yet?....khandu still running loose? Is my Tweedboard still broken?? NOT!!!

HAW!! I yam master obv my domain still!

**BEHOLD KHANDU, YOU FLINGER OF MONKEY MUCK, IT'S ALIVE...ALIVE...ALIVE!!! BUWAHHAWHAWHAWHAW..**


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 03 - 05:39 PM

Historical Note: This is the first known instance in recorded history -- at least, Mudcat history -- of George "Little Hawk" Covenish..er, Covenoid...whatever... acknowledging his own unworthiness with respect to any other entitiy, real or imagined. Let us not let the milestone slip by in the torrent of vile brown stuff....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 03 - 04:43 PM

Actually, King Khandu, most of us feel that we simply could not live without you...or this thread. We long for opportunities to grovel at your feet and regale you with incomparably inane emissions of BS till the cows come home. You rock!!! We're not worthy!!!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 03 - 03:08 PM

YM_

As a subject who is unwaivering in fondness and esteem for yourself, if not loyalty, I feel it is my bounden duty to inform you that your antagonism to your subjects is ITSELF the cause of the unrest in your kingdon, and NOT the result thereof.

You have the very subjects you have projected. Thus are you well served by your own most loyal phantasms.

'Twas ever thus...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 17 May 03 - 02:03 PM

I have but one Royal Consort who has remained faithful; POB&PL Rustic Rebel, though she may runnoft with Sheeney Knause at any moment.

So Bill D, you made an ironic comment, and I have been looking for a good Ironic Iron Man...you could be him!

Okay, since I was overwhelmed with responses to my Quiz, and no one wins the coveted two song khandu tape, one song which causes Tweed and Amos to tremble in their tutus, I shall now reveal the answers to the missed questions!

Jethro Tull's "We Used To Know" was the inspiration for the chord progression of "Hotel California".

Hootie and the Blowfish mentioned the title "Tangled Up in Blue" in their song, but quoted verses of "Idiot Wind".

Ben Harper said had he not heard MJH, he would never have learned to play his instruments.

The Blues Magoos sang "We Ain't Got Nothin Yet".

I am still awaiting the "I'll deal with you later" threat from Tweed to happen. Perhaps he is to bogged down trying to unstop his septic tank of a website from all the doo-doo he has filled it with!

Tweed, you scoff at the Galactic Overloon's departure, but did you notice that it was I, King khandu, who dealt with him...it certainly wasn't you! Hey, weren't you a character on "The Lizard of Oz"? Didn't you play the part of the Cowardly Scared Shatless Lion?

Amos...whut the hey was that link? The Spaw Birthday Thread? Hell, I go there everyday so why direct me to where I was already going???

LH, I am pleased to hear of Ari's Aid coming...this has been hard to carry by myself!

Hey Wanna scoff at someone? Go back and look at Allan C.'s post at the beginning of this thread! A prophet, he ain't!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 03 - 01:14 PM

Tip for today: Don't cry over spilled ilk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 03 - 12:36 PM

Forgot to close the "bold" code. Oh, well. It kind of looks good, actually.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 03 - 12:02 PM

Bulletin: There are disturbing signs that daily attendance is declining on the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS, because people have nearly exhausted their available supplies of BS and are scraping the bottom of the barrel. This cannot be allowed to continue! In response to this emergency situation, administration spokesperson (don'tcha just hate that word?) Ari Fleischer delivered a press conference early this morning, announcing that the Bush administration is going to rush massive new shipments of Total and Absolute BS to Mudcat (and the World) "within days", and rescue this thread from the malaise into which it now threatens to sink. There were signs of major BS mobilization already beginning across the Nation, with Republican supporters gearing up for concerted action from the boardroom to the street.

Those who feared the BS would end prematurely can rest easy. The Big Boys have taken the job in hand, and they will not let up until "the job is done", according to Fleischer.

When asked by members of the press exactly what form the BS would take, Fleischer said, "We don't want to give the enemy any free information. My suggestion to you is: wait and see."

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 03 - 11:40 PM

Hey, King Man: Check out This Link! for a Royal Schmile!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 May 03 - 11:24 PM

Victory iz ours, run you tentacled running sores!!

king khornkhob, you asswipe of a baboon with scours, I shall deal with you after I finish...ahem....customizing my very excellent and simple to use .php style tweedboard. It iz only a minor setback and no doubt in some way connected to the Galactic Overlords' parting shots az they ran like little babies from the borders of beloved MOAB.

Yerz,
Tweed
Webmaster Extraordinaire and PHP Specialist


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 16 May 03 - 10:00 PM

My Dear Children,

As is said in the Southern regions of Our realm, and as We now say to you, "Y'all go piss up a rope."

We now leave you to wallow in your own mental stagnation and physical degeneration, as We have found you too insignificant to bother with.

All Our love,
TGO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:51 PM

I went there earlier...it didn't work. Why would I tell anyone ELSE to go there if it didn't work?

Geez...fer a King, you sure have some silly ideas! (Guess my chances of getting a post in the bureaucracy are shot now, huh?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:42 PM

QUICK EVERYBODY!! Go to TWEED'S PAGE...It does not work!!!

WHY???? BECAUSE THE TWEEDIOT FOCKED UP HIS OWN WEB SITE!!!!! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!

WHAT A FOCKIN' IDIOT!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:33 PM

I have lost my run-down feeling
Since I heard Norman Vincent Pealing


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:24 PM

I have discussed this with my Friend and Mentor, Harry Lee Wigley and he reminded me of what Norman Vincent Peale had to say to someone in a similar situation..."Lick my balls!"

I have been accosted and threatened by overlord after overlord...after a while you all sound the same "yadda yadda yadda blah blah...etc."

Same old song with a different dance.

My dear over-bearing Overlord, I pay more attention to Tweed's farts than anything you have to say.

Therefore, henceforth, consider you and whatever you may say igmoed by King khandu!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:13 PM

My Dear Children,

You have poisoned your planet. You have played with fusion weapons. You have irrevocably changed your DNA. You have created bodhrans, banjos, saxophones, and accordions. And you expect Us to be merciful to you? We have withheld Our wrath only because We expect you to see the error of your ways and reform.

Child Khandu and Child Tweed: We are becoming very, very vexed with you. Do not make Us come there and enforce a "Time Out."

As for your touted Ohioan, We assure you that he or she could not hold a candle (you should pardon the expression) to the gaseous discharge of a Mflxyan of what you would term Deneb VI.

Wishing you were here, We remain your humble and devoted servant,
TGO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 16 May 03 - 08:56 PM

The lunar drama of last evening inspired poetry from the depths of my heart:

"Something About..." by King khandu

Something about the sunrise reminds me of your heart
That beats the rhythm of love for me
Something about the sunset reminds me of your promise
That is kept alive for me
It is true...you fulfill my fantasies
And meet my every need
Something about the smell of shit
Reminds me of Tweed


Dear Galactic Overload,

I will gladly join forces with my old KOTROT and First Duck at the first whiff of exfoliation. Please be advised that it was he and I who invented sidewalks. It was he and I who masterminded watergate. It was he and I who invented the internet and forks.
Together, Tweed and I can, and, if necessary, will move mightily against any act of aggression on your part. We shall defend MOAB!
So, may I say as tactfully and diplomatically as I can...BITE A FAT HOG IN THE ASS!!!
We have a secret weapon in Ohio that can burn the hair outta your unborn great-great grando overlaod's noses! DO NOT FORCE US TO USE IT!!
Meanwhile, my disgraceful and treacherous bass turd of a Former KOTROT and First Duck, Tweed and I are at one anothers throats for a damnably good reason...we detest one another!

King-don't fock with us-khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 May 03 - 08:43 PM

Mere idol threats you pompuous pustule ob a boil wif no hed! And on "our pitiful planet" monopoles iz a game played by little kids wif fake money and liddle Tophats, racecars, shoes and thimbles.

Howebber, mebbe I culd use a good exfoliatorin'. I am getting summat wrinkeled and worn looking these days.

Mind yore place UberGlax, or we will rebuke you and cast yore ass into a heard ob swine!

Yerz,
Tweed
Exhorter and Banisher ob Headless Boils


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 16 May 03 - 05:03 PM

Dear Children,

We are patient, but Our patience is limited. Did not Our demonstration last night when We darkened your moon hold any significance to you?

Child Tweed, We will insure that Child Khandu also has a magnetic sign exactly the same size and gaussage as yours. The sole difference will be in the exposed magnetic poles, which will cause your signs to repel each other. Should your bickering continue, We will cause the magnets on the signs to be changed to monopoles. Should We be forced to do this, We will ensure that Earth holds both of you responsible for the result.

When One "exfoliates" a person of the race inhabiting your pitiful planet, One causes all of that person's skin to fall off. The result is both painful and disgusting to all Galactic entities. The one from whom you received your mitochondrial DNA may have threatened you with this by saying, "I'm going to skin you alive, boy!"

Peace, My Children, and write if you get work.

TGO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 03 - 01:27 PM

I have absolutely no experience in running for pubic orifice, LH. Giving lip service to such ideals is entirely too hypercritical for my tastes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 May 03 - 01:05 PM

To Mmario%; I refute yore unfunded allegators az being bald faced lies and habving no sound foundations or footers to build upon. The OFFICIAL MAGNETIC SIGN will draw only thet what is Good,Pure, and Ethereal unto it and repel only those carrying shotguns, lynch ropes or high evilness in thar harts.

To Amos:^+ You are a double speakin' instigarator and I feel sartin that you live only to see the final conflagration between one good pure and ethereal Knight who habz lost hiz pafth, and the pore hopelessly pathetic nutbag known az Khandoo ob Mississippi so az you may sell refined sugar and sliced bread to the survivors at inflated pricing.

To the Galactic Obverlarfd:::~0 I habv no feer of bein' exfoliated as I yam no tree nor bush nor shrub ob the arth. Yore threats ar ob no consequence and tharfore I tell you do not let the sun of MOAB set on yore hiney ef you know what iz good for you az I will form alliances and ceacefirez wif kingkhandu and hiz Royal Dancing Army ob Tartmen in Tutus and will rebuke you and yore ilk mos scosciously. You may try yore hand at exfoliating khing khnadnoze but all you'll get iz the feathers ob his Royal Cherokee Headress.

The lunatic Lordkhandoo and I are at odds but we are aslo obv the heartland ob MOAB and thus you see we ar oslo kin in thet way. You hav no chance whatsomever so get thee hence foule beast or suffer a barrage ob rebukage such az hab never been heard in a good while.

Yerz,
Tweed
EauClaire de la Loon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 03 - 10:20 AM

I think he did run for pubic office...just recently. Isn't that right, Amos?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:35 AM

Is it true that the magnetic sign is capable of reverse polarity - thus propelling itslef outward at high velocity and slicing( with razor sharp edges) the crowds of people flocking towards it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:32 AM

Yeah, yeah -- promises, promises!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:13 AM

My Dear Children,

We have only your welfare at heart. We have, over the years, gone out of Our way to insure peace and tranquility within Our realm so that your pitiful existences might develop as fully as they are capable of doing.

The exchanges between "Khandu" and "Tweed" are disturbing this peace and tranquility, however. Should they continue We will most assuredly insure peace and tranquility in Our realm by also providing "Khandu" with an artul magnetic sign. Should that fail, We will totally exfoliate both of them and their supporters. In public. When they are on stage. Before a vast audience. Then We will turn them inside out.

Take heed of these, Our words!

All Our love to the families,
TGO


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 16 May 03 - 12:36 AM

Antelope Freeway, one-one-hundred-and-twenty-eighth mile.

And number 7 is a trick question. Frank Zappa was a Mother.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:30 PM

No, YM, I have not. Now I once had a career counselor who looked at me in complete despair and suggested I should run for president, since I seemed ill-suited for any other occupation. But I wasn't interested. Yes, I can tap-dance -- it'sd a survival trait. But part of my dance is still a certain integrity, which I will not break (I hope!) and which such a pursuit would place under extreme duress. If nominated, I will duck out, and if elected I will resign.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:28 PM

Dere khing khorphoo,
I yam appelled at yore treatment ob yore subjeks!!! To reefer to the NOR OB A COUPLE OB THINGS az NOR OF PIGSHIT caused me much disdrss and I even nearly did myself harm while choking wif gret indigestion!!! And fore you to go down on pore Amos about not usin' yore song which I hab raison to belieb waz writ by Andrew Dice Clay az it habz no chivalous content whatsonebber, wabez completle out of the lines and most unkhingly, and ob corse nobobby is surprise at that I'm shore!!!

Finally,yore feebel jabs at my spelling and rhetorik habz no use for me and I culd car even not on wig about that. You are like water and I yam a duck's ass and thus do yore insults roll off me, much like the buzzard bidet waters rolleth from ther arse and thar greasy fevvers!!!

Yore dayz iz numbered O DhonkeyKhong az I habv THE OFFICIAL MAGNETIC SIGN and you don't. The Mississippiyites will be drawn az throngs ob dung beeties to fresh shit on the Serengetty. It iz farly beautiful, attractive and MAGNETIC,HAW,HAW,HAW!!!

You may vacate the "palace" and surrender or we will come to Mizippi wif vast forses and legions and drag yore miserable ass back to the NYCFTTS whar may you rot in a sitz baff forever!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:18 PM

I have been experiencing the lovely lunar eclipse, thanks to Rustic Rebel for the heads-up!

I'll bet the lunatics (Tweed and his ilk) are really howling it up out there!

Of course, I am certain there is a lot of howling out in California as well as Ohio, too!

All is calm in Mississippi!

King-nyahni nyahni nyah nyah-khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:33 PM

Another iten, there, Amos.

From your last post, I think it is clear why you were considered for the "Golden Tongued Double Talker". You are slick! Just look at how you oiled the revelation of the archived PM into a thing of chivalry!

Have you ever ran for public office?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:29 PM

Uh...I meant the word "JUST".

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:27 PM

Hmmmm. Methinks it was very subliminal of you to italicize the word "Your" in the songs title.

Oh yes...one more thingy...The sub-title of the song is "With Apologies to All Women except Emmy".

That is "EMMY, not Amy!

Ken


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:17 PM

Guess ya caught me open-hearted, there, Kingie -- I was straight forward about telling my reserved pusillanimity algorithm, you will admit, but I also have this chivalrous streak and in general my experience has shewn that the fairer types don't mind really being terrifying but they ABsolutely don't want anyone pointing it out or blowing their cover on the business. So I try to honor their needs and requirements, and not reveal the seamy side of femininity, so to speak.

Since you did so, I wish you the best of inherited winds.

Now, I admit the song "After All You're Just a Woman" is musically fine and a good song basically, and I would like to volunteer to send it out to hordes of admiring females on your behalf. Please send me a list of all the significant women in your life to date, and I will make sure they get personally addressed copies of this performance, which I must say has high professional standards.

Please include any data you can find about your next of kin and HMO, also.

Very best regards,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 15 May 03 - 09:27 PM

To watch buffoons lavishing in their buffoonery is such a fun and delightful thing to watch! Amos and Tweed!!! HAW HAW HAW!!!!

First of all, Dear Jessup, I still got the PM you sent saying YOU WERE AFRAID OF A FEMININE BACKLASH!!!! Now, you come up with the lame, transparent pissery of an excuse! You figured that ole King khandu would not archive every PM he has ever received...every single one of them....butYOU ARE WRONG!!! as usual! HAW HAW HAW!!!

Dated and signed...solid evidence!!! Scaredy kitty Amos...those short tempered women you described would cause you to act like Tweed...pee down your pants leg!!

As for the Doofus of the Realm of Tupelo, Sir Tweed, Haw!! You think that sign is gonna cause my subjects to flock to you like flies on a cow's ass?. First...remember, that sign is magnetic, not glued on. It can come off really easily. But better than that, you pisspot, my people will not flock to your sign at all because Not one of them can read!!!!! HAW HAW HAW!!! This is MISSISSIPPI, you know!
Hell man, how do you think I got to be King??? I CAN READ!! OH...I am sorry Tweed...maybe I should have said "Yew thank thet sine iz gonner caws my subjex to fluck to yew lack fleyes on a cowzass...etc." Perhaps then you could have understood it better

bee-dubya-ell the KNOWER OF PIGSHIT, you made up your quiz only because you felt so dumb for miserably failing my SIMPLE quiz!

Rustic Rebel and KNOWER OF DIDDLYSQUAT, I made a mistake in scoring. The Hootie and Blowfish song did refer to "Tangled Up...", but it also referred to another Dylan song more extensively. The other song was the one I was thinking of, but since you named that one, you get credit for that question.

Still, no one yet wins the two khandu songs, one of which makes Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Amos tinkle from their tallywhackers into their little footies.

If no winner by tomorrow night, I will give the correct answers Saturday.

KING-yesterday-today-forever-khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 07:20 PM

I ain't never been a copralithographer, but if you'll pass me my crayons I'll give it some practice.... :>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 03 - 06:05 PM

Shoes for defense!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 May 03 - 04:06 PM

but Ahmoose! The quizes quizs multiple quiz items are pretty copralithic, you have to admit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 May 03 - 03:39 PM

Shoes for industry!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 01:57 PM

Well Jesus Kwist if that don't beat all for the decline of empire. Here we have a score of the brightest and the best, a virtual Camelot, dedicated to the proposition that they can build a thread that will be the very best of all things BS and take over the world and win peace and freedom for all, feed the poor of spirit and raise up the downtrodden and the overly serious, and after a great start, a mere 250-some threads into this world class venture, it has degenerated into a quiz game!!

Well, I swan. Or, at least, I know someone who does. Anyway, I want to know what the Monarch of Mudcat Madness -- whichever of the three will answer -- proposes to do about this depressing dissipation and dispersal of energies. Surely we can do better than this!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 03 - 02:06 AM

Well all-right Mr. Sparty-Pants Khing Khernoodle. Let's try a REAL quiz this time! Hah! Let the battle of the kwizzes begin! No more "Hotel California" questions allowed!


1. Name at least three songs from the late 60's/early 70's whose titles refer to street names for LSD. ("Lucy in the Sky" ain't one of 'em.)

2. Two well-known acoustic guitar models were made by rival companies as the signature guitars for two well-known singing cowboys. What are the guitars and who were the cowboys? For extra credit, what was the more famous of the two cowboys biggest hit and who wrote it? Surprise!

3. For many years, rock guitarist Ted Nugent played a guitar model more commonly associated with jazz players. What was it?

4. What has been an item of English bluesman John Mayall's onstage attire since the 60's. (Don't be a smart-ass and answer "pants".)

5. Two late 60's/early 70's Florida garage bands of note were "The Second Coming" and "The One Percent". What did they change their names to.

6. True or false?   Eric Clapton is the only member of Derek and the Dominoes who is still alive, and not in a prison or a mental institution.

7. Frank Zappa's father was A) a symphony conductor B) a high school teacher C) a policeman D) Zappa never knew his father.

8. What noted guitarist auditioned for Linda Ronstadt's band and was told that the audition was over when he put a capo on his guitar?

9. John Hartford was well-known for dancing on an amplified stomp-box while playing the fiddle. What electronic device, more commonly associated with rock guitarists, did he incorporate into the amplification to give the stomp-box its unique sound?

10. Where and on what date was the largest assembled crowd to ever see and hear Jimi Hendrix perform live. (Hint: It wasn't Woodstock. Lots of people had already left Woodstock before Jimi ever got on stage.)

I ain't gonna play no "first person to get 'em all right gets a crappy little demo tape of my song about th' night I picked up Jesus while he was hitchin' down Interstate 10" games. Anybody get's 'em all right gets a free weekend at the Sandy Landing Yacht and Racquet Club! (Transportation and meals not included. Bring your own tent.)

BWL - Knower of 70% of Things


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 03 - 12:16 AM

Your Majesty:

Like your infamous predecessor George the III you are tilting at the prospect of revolution. The reason "Just a Woman" was not on the Cat CDs was I ran outter space on them. I dearly wanted to include it becauseof its overwhelming bitterness and sardonicism but I couldn't justify a whole extra disk just to squeeze it in there, you see. My pusillanimituy is reserved for much better things, like shapely lasses with very short tempers and eyes that glow like hell-coals and talons that glimmer like the devil's razor. The kind you grow over theah, come to think of it...

A


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