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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 02 Dec 13 - 05:09 PM
Amos 02 Dec 13 - 04:36 PM
gnu 02 Dec 13 - 02:10 PM
Amos 01 Dec 13 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 13 - 09:41 PM
gnu 01 Dec 13 - 08:44 PM
Acme 01 Dec 13 - 08:21 PM
Amos 01 Dec 13 - 07:11 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 13 - 07:08 PM
gnu 01 Dec 13 - 06:11 PM
Acme 01 Dec 13 - 02:47 PM
gnu 01 Dec 13 - 12:44 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 13 - 11:30 AM
Amos 01 Dec 13 - 11:13 AM
gnu 01 Dec 13 - 07:52 AM
Rapparee 01 Dec 13 - 01:14 AM
Acme 30 Nov 13 - 11:43 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 13 - 10:43 PM
Acme 30 Nov 13 - 09:51 PM
gnu 30 Nov 13 - 12:16 PM
Acme 30 Nov 13 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 30 Nov 13 - 09:59 AM
gnu 30 Nov 13 - 07:01 AM
Amos 30 Nov 13 - 04:52 AM
Pete Jennings 30 Nov 13 - 04:17 AM
Rapparee 30 Nov 13 - 01:20 AM
GUEST,Rapparee 29 Nov 13 - 02:44 PM
Pete Jennings 29 Nov 13 - 06:38 AM
gnu 29 Nov 13 - 06:29 AM
Amos 29 Nov 13 - 05:04 AM
Acme 29 Nov 13 - 02:09 AM
GUEST,Rapparee 28 Nov 13 - 09:10 PM
GUEST,laptopgnu 28 Nov 13 - 07:01 PM
GUEST,laptopgnu 28 Nov 13 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 13 - 06:20 PM
GUEST,laptopgnu 28 Nov 13 - 03:08 PM
GUEST 28 Nov 13 - 11:58 AM
gnu 28 Nov 13 - 07:26 AM
Amos 28 Nov 13 - 01:11 AM
Acme 28 Nov 13 - 12:31 AM
GUEST 27 Nov 13 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 13 - 09:13 PM
GUEST,laptopgnu 27 Nov 13 - 05:47 PM
Amos 26 Nov 13 - 02:07 PM
gnu 26 Nov 13 - 02:01 PM
GUEST,Rapparee 26 Nov 13 - 11:39 AM
Amos 26 Nov 13 - 11:15 AM
gnu 26 Nov 13 - 07:52 AM
Acme 25 Nov 13 - 11:29 PM
gnu 25 Nov 13 - 09:00 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 05:09 PM

The Gnu gets up off of the benches
And proudly walks into the trenches!
When he sees there's a need
He helps out at full speed,
Especially good looking wenches.

(Amos got it garbled.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 04:36 PM

The Gnu gets up off of the benches
And proudly walks into the trenches!
When he sees there's a need
He helps out at full speed,
The Canuckly king of all mensches!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 02:10 PM

I bagged 3 good deeds within an hour of hitting the fresh air mid morn. Got several more later on and one BIG one. I was up ta yer Sobeys fer a walk and ta pick up a couple a sets a Kissmeass dishes for presents on Merry Ho Ho. A man of about my age stopped a lad in his late teens who was wearing Sobeys garb. I was walking fairly close and I heard the man raise his voice. I made a beeline for him and said, very calmly (whadda you laffin about?), "Sir. I know this as he was speaking quite loudly and giving the lad a hard time. lad has only just started working here. Is there some way I may be of assistance?" He cocked head a bit and asked, "Do you work here?" I replied, "No sir. I come here for a walk when the weather is inclement so I walk here pretty darn often (insert head bob and slight chuckle for emphasis) and I could probably help you." He was obviously puzzled and said, in a tone I did not like, "Where are the potato chips and snacks and stuff. "Can't remember the aisle number but I can easily show you." and I wheeled my cart around and started walking, whereupon Nick said "Thank you Uncle Gary." After we were out of earshout, I said "Aisle 7. That lad is autistic." and I pulled a left and walked away.

Actually, it was two good deeds in one on accounta I wanted to go Wildebeeste on his ass. Well, I did scowl when I told him where to go. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 09:45 PM

Try these guys at Northrup, Rapp. One of the largest military-industrial fat cats around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 09:41 PM

I checked Harbor Freight, Sears, Walmart, CAL Ranch, Big R, and a slew of other places. I even checked online. Seems like ya gotta grow the blamed things and nobody seems to carry the seeds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 08:44 PM

A.... hahahahahahahhahaa! I love it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 08:21 PM

Very good! I was in and out of it this afternoon as I mowed, but I think by the end more was smeared on the lawn than was stuck to my shoe.

Rap, if I were you, I'd head down to Harbor Freight or Tractor Supply and check out their yttrium-gallium-fluoride laser crystals. They're bound to be cheaper there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 07:11 PM

A lady from way down in Texas
Had doggies of various sexes
The would crap on the earth
Of her yard, in Fort Worth,
Where she trod, and declared, "Damn! That vexes!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 07:08 PM

The Idaho Legion has been defending Earth from the sinister machinations and intentions of unknown space aliens for quite some time now (as seen in this photo of the Legion defending against a recent vicious attack).

But the Legion needs support, preferably monetary, so that it can buy the tools needed (you don't just go down to the local market and pick up yttrium-gallium-fluoride laser crystals). So please, for the sake of our Earth, give all that you can. I'll be happy to act as middleman for this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 06:11 PM

It's fine. More importantly, did you get the doggy doodoo offin a yer shoe? Or... scoopy doodoo?

Yes. It was a poor attempt. My attention span is... WTF was THAT? THROW THE FLAG!!!

JAYSUS H! I am in Moncton and I saw it! The ref was 15' away and HE didn't? WTF!!!!????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 02:47 PM

There once was a woman from Fort Worth
Whose dogs slept on beds, not on earth
Those beds were indoors
So one of her chores
Was rise early to let them go forth.



Probably doesn't scan the way it should, but it addresses the current topic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 12:44 PM

Woke up this mornin'
Well, I woke up this mornin'
At the crack a dawn
I woke up this mornin'
And I sealed the crack
I went back ta bed
And I slept instead
Oh yeah


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 11:30 AM

Got up this mornin' (oh yeah)
Well, I got up this mornin' (oh yeah)
I got up this mornnin'
Put on the coffee, ate some food,
Took a shower, got dressed, went to work (oh yeah)

Well I worked all day (oh yeah)
Yes, I worked all day long (oh yeah)
This CEO of an oil company gig
Is all that's I thought it would be (oh yeah)
All that I thought it would be.

Got me houses in the Caymans (oh yeah)
Got me penthouses in New York (oh yeah)
Yachts at the yacht club
Servants ta kick around (oh yeah)
And my mattress is stuffed with C-notes (oh yeah).

Got a paper cut on a contract (oh yeah)
Well, I got me a paper cut on a contract (oh yeah)
But I made eleven billion dollars
So it was worth the pain
Dangerous bein' CEO of big oil (oh yeah).

       "Big Vault" Bucksmany, Oh Yeah Blues, 2013


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 11:13 AM

If I had wings like a turtle dove
I'd look so strange to you
They would drag me off from my own true love
And lock me up in a zoo.

Lightfooted Gordie Mooseesmith
Songs of the Appalachian Psyche


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 07:52 AM

WINTER STORM WATCH IN EFFECT

And it's highlit in yella! So, they are REALLY watchin!

nOW, IFFIN YA GO TO tHE wEATHER nETWORK, IT SAYS

Significant snowfall amounts and periods of freezing rain are possible tonight. ... Find out more ›

And it's lit in RED!!! So, it must be REALLY possible.

I might, possibly, watch too. After football, maybe. Maybe not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 01:14 AM

I gave them to my wife. She was surprised.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 11:43 PM

Sell them on eBay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 10:43 PM

So all of these things I've got with pictures of people like John Macdonald and Liz2 is worthless, eh? Ah, well, c'est la d'argent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 09:51 PM

Not Monopoly money then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 12:16 PM

Chinese Tire Money


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 11:57 AM

The counter surfer (knock wood) didn't get any so far, unless it was offered. But he's so proud of himself because he protected us against a fox yipping in the back by the creek last night. He insisted on going out at 2am and racing down to the back fence to bark at it. The girls know that if you're comfy in bed in the house on a cold night that one doesn't NEED to go bark at coyotes or foxes who miss their canine friends, but I sent them out for a few minutes so Zeke wouldn't be down there by himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 09:59 AM

Is that what they call Canadian money?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 07:01 AM

Most of us speak English. We jus choose not ta.

Rap... ya wanna impress the locals? Haul out a wad a Crappy Tire ones.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 04:52 AM

I understand that many of them speak English.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 04:17 AM

"Un pression s'il vous plait" will do it, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 13 - 01:20 AM

I can hardly wait to get home so I can start practicing Canadian so I won't sound like a furriner and will be able to ask for beer. I think the last if "Tiene Usted any bierre?" or maybe "Ma chere, une Bleu, danke." See, Canada is full of loonies and ya gotta talk right to 'em or they'll laugh at ya, at least until you pull out a big wad of US dollars. Then they'll queu up because toilet paper is in short supply in the north. It helps to carry twenty fives "just in case."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 02:44 PM

He knows where he belongs. Personally, I think he's just been stoned for all this time. He'll be back when he gets the munchies bad enough.

Of course, he could be in hospital, or have been foreclosed on and is now living as a homeless bum, or he could be in jail and sharing a cell with Shame, or be so business with his election campaign that he just can't get away, or be pounding sand down some frackin' hole, or be shacked up with some some floozie.

Ya never know about him, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 06:38 AM

Wherever he is, I'd like to see him back here where he belongs...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 06:29 AM

SRS... did the counter surfer get any turkey?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 05:04 AM

HE may have gone back to Cuba, or off to a lamaserie in the highlands. He's unpredictable, independent, self-defined, fleet of foot and vivid of imagination. This is a dangerous combination.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Nov 13 - 02:09 AM

Maybe LH is busy having a life instead of creating so many characters. :)

I pushed IE 11 back out again this evening. It doesn't display the Outlook web site properly. Even though I deselected WebLite it always showed that way. So I removed the update and the stupid machine went back to IE9. So I downloaded IE10 and now it looks just fine. Grrrr.

The turkey came out fabulous. You'd have all just loved it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 09:10 PM

Ya want I should call him?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 07:01 PM

I am becoming increasingly concerned about LH's lack of posting. Could it be he is getting a grip on reality?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 06:49 PM

Nooo... beat ya to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 06:20 PM

Sorry but the last guest was me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 03:08 PM

True Canadians don't GO to where polar bears are. If they are born where polar bears ARE and they learn about how not to get ett, sure. But I would not want to be on CBC news as the tourist that had the bad fortune to be the subject of an enquiry about the safety of polar bear watching tours.

BTW, count the dogs... often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 11:58 AM

It is indeed a day to be thankful, and Sham and Chonga should be the most thankful of all as I haven't had time to do those little freebie jobs. Some other time, perhaps, when I'm in the neighborbood. Or...since I'll be in Churchill on February 6 perhaps Sham would liek to prove himself a True Canadian and meet me there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 07:26 AM

Happy NFL Day to my neighbours south of the border.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 01:11 AM

I wish you all the happiest of Thanksgivings, and reflect that you are, each of you, among the things I am thankful for in Existence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 13 - 12:31 AM

Whew! Not only was Mudcat.org off the air, but Internet Explorer 11 was pushed out last night so I had to log on. I almost couldn't talk to MOM just now as myself.

Turkey is in the brine, a loaf of bread is rising. It'll bake before I go to bed and I'll put it way up high to keep the Labrador retriever from retrieving it from a countertop while I sleep. He's a counter surfer of the first order. Dinner is around 6pm tomorrow if any of you are in the neighborhood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Nov 13 - 10:23 PM

Before I do that though I'd like to know what you abject in all this is. I'd like a Mission Statement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 13 - 09:13 PM

Having carried a forty pound lit candle while crawling through hot ashes for override a mile of blizzard-like conditions I cannot be much more abject in my apology, Amos. Perhaps an auto-auto-de-fe?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 27 Nov 13 - 05:47 PM

MOMMY!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 13 - 02:07 PM

Thank you, Rapparee. I DO accept your apology, but I hope next time you will make it a little more abject.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Nov 13 - 02:01 PM

I supose I should apologize. Manitoba is actually quite nice... the fishing is speckletacular! There are 94,241 km² of lakes to fish and a whack of rivers and streams. Sorry, Manitoba... my bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 13 - 11:39 AM

Civility in discourse is a sine qua non at MOAB, Amos. You know that. Mom would never tolerate it if, for example, I were to call you a cross-eyed, unweaned, skunk-jumpin' urinal drinker even if it were true. She would force me to admit that you are neither strabismic nor drink from urinals and I would admit that was true. That would force me to apologize and of course a gentleman, such as you are, accepts an apology no matter how badly one is tendered. Civility and politeness are the watch-words of any truly great MC thread and MOAB just reeks of both.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 13 - 11:15 AM

I am SOOO flaming glad y'all are maintaining such civilized discourse, except for the EGO's twin.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Nov 13 - 07:52 AM

SRS... Wiki says : "The Nanaimo bar is a dessert item of Canadian origin popular across North America.[citation needed] It is a bar dessert which requires no baking and is named after the west coast city of Nanaimo, British Columbia. It consists of a wafer crumb-based layer topped by a layer of light vanilla or custard flavoured butter icing which is covered with melted chocolate made from chocolate squares. Many varieties exist, consisting of different types of crumb with different flavours of icing (e.g., mint, peanut butter) and different types of chocolate. Two popular variations on the traditional Nanaimo bar involve mint- or mocha-flavoured icing."

I say a Nanaimo Bar is a vile and disgusting coagulation of sugar, particularly the minty one.

Oh... I meant... 'where' are the LHs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Nov 13 - 11:29 PM

Okay, I'll bite. What is a Nanimo Bar? I've been to Nanimo and I don't remember any particular drinking establishments OR accretions of sand worthy of naming a cookie after.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Nov 13 - 09:00 PM

Yo! E2 er Yer Galactic Overbearing Twaddle er whatever tha fuck ya call yerself. Piss off eh? Bend over and take Ison up yer ass at megaspeed fer all I care. Flin Flon Fuck You Manitoba style... while the blackflies and skeeters from the land of a billion lakes are bitin yer ass.

Oh, yeah... speakin a blackfly and skeeter country and bendin over, here are the LHs in all their glory and shamne?


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