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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Eiseley 15 May 11 - 08:28 PM
gnu 15 May 11 - 03:25 PM
Rapparee 15 May 11 - 03:06 PM
Acme 15 May 11 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 15 May 11 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 14 May 11 - 10:30 PM
Acme 14 May 11 - 07:34 PM
gnu 14 May 11 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 14 May 11 - 10:26 AM
Amos 14 May 11 - 10:16 AM
Acme 14 May 11 - 12:46 AM
Rapparee 13 May 11 - 10:23 PM
gnu 13 May 11 - 09:50 PM
Little Hawk 13 May 11 - 09:25 PM
Amos 13 May 11 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 13 May 11 - 05:33 PM
gnu 13 May 11 - 02:35 PM
Little Hawk 13 May 11 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 13 May 11 - 10:42 AM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 10:44 PM
Amos 12 May 11 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 10:28 PM
Amos 12 May 11 - 08:46 PM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 06:35 PM
Eiseley 12 May 11 - 04:34 PM
Amos 12 May 11 - 04:23 PM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 03:27 PM
GUEST,Albert Einstein 12 May 11 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 03:11 PM
Eiseley 12 May 11 - 02:17 PM
Amos 12 May 11 - 01:35 PM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 01:04 PM
Eiseley 12 May 11 - 11:28 AM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 11:06 AM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 11:06 AM
Amos 12 May 11 - 09:49 AM
Rapparee 12 May 11 - 12:23 AM
Rapparee 11 May 11 - 07:07 PM
Amos 11 May 11 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 11 - 04:18 PM
gnu 11 May 11 - 04:14 PM
Rapparee 11 May 11 - 03:46 PM
Amos 11 May 11 - 03:20 PM
Little Hawk 11 May 11 - 02:25 PM
Amos 11 May 11 - 01:37 PM
Acme 11 May 11 - 01:30 AM
gnu 10 May 11 - 09:07 PM
GUEST,freds 10 May 11 - 08:10 PM
Little Hawk 10 May 11 - 04:39 PM
gnu 10 May 11 - 04:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 May 11 - 08:28 PM

Welcome home, Stilly. My oldest son is getting his driver's permit soon (be warned, Rapparee), and I've had a couple of white-knuckled experiences while in the passenger seat. Thankfully they require many many hours of practice, but I really wish kids had to be older before they drove. Good thing we're only 3 blocks from the high school so he'll never GET to drive to school. It's all the other teenage drivers I worry about also.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 11 - 03:25 PM

Eider dat or bark.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 11 - 03:06 PM

She wasn't sunning in the driveway when I found her. More like laying in the gutter. Again. Perhaps if we could train that damned duckdog to lick her face every so often....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 May 11 - 11:49 AM

She's out sitting in the sun on the driveway. Such a pretty morning!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 11 - 11:16 AM

Fair day, good Mother. It will all be well for you, I'm sure. Now gimme that bottle and go clean yourself up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 11 - 10:30 PM

As l walked out one morning for pleasure,
I spied a dog-puncher come riding along;
His hat was throwed back and his spurs was a-jingling,
As he approached me a-singin' this song,

chorus:
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along, little dachsies,
lt's your misfortune, and none of my own.
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along, little dachsies,
For you know that we're gonna use a new comb.

Early in the spring we round up the dachsies,
Bathe 'em and brush 'em and be-ribbon their tails;
Drive up our horses, load up the chuck-wagon,
Then walk the dachsies out on the trail.

It's whoopin' and yellin' and a-drivin' them dachsies;
Oh, how l wish that you would go along.
It's a-whoopin' and punchin' and go on-a, little dachsies
For you know we're gonna use a new comb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 May 11 - 07:34 PM

Lovely drive, quick photos along the way like breadcrumbs, to let people know what I was looking at. Camera photos give kind of a keyhole view of things, but it's nice to be able to share. Now I have to clear out the pickup after the trip.

The kid has driven for a couple of years, Amos, but that has been in the city, in a small Toyota. First time I had him drive the truck in the wide open spaces at 80, passing semis and with the wind and such I gripped the door handle so hard I nearly pulled it off. I had him pull over after about 30 miles at a logical stop to go in and get water, and then I took over again. He doesn't have the feel for it yet, but I'll have to give him a chance to learn. I think driving in Texas nearer Fort Worth where the speed limit is lower, about 65, is a good starting point. I'll do that when we head out of town the next time, and take over when we get into the really fast traffic.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 11 - 12:13 PM

I noticed. Figured you were a bender.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 11 - 10:26 AM

Yes, we noticed. A dark cloud seemed to cover the sun and only now has light and sunshine returned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 11 - 10:16 AM

Why didn't the lad do half the driving, anyway? The FB road photos were loverly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 May 11 - 12:46 AM

I'm back! Drove to Tucson and back in four days. I'm exhausted.

Did you miss me?

(Did you notice I was gone?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 11 - 10:23 PM

Went for lunch in Beaver Creek, YT (it ain't your Culinary Capitol) and they had hamburger soup on the menu. My MIL had never heard of it but had some anyway. Gee, it was cooked ground beef, canned green beans, some potatoes, canned corn, and some other stuff, mostly canned. She loved it. Worked for me for years.

And for a real thrill consider the bus driver in Haines who picked up this pair of over-70s who had ONE-WAY tickets to Beaver Creek, YT...he made some few comments about it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 11 - 09:50 PM

The other (better) half of the French Canadian was Irish, me old man, may he rest in peas.

It ain't rocket science eh? Although, my pea (PEAAAA) soup will make ya fart rockets all night long.

And, I tried an experiment with two cans of Campbell's veggie soup and a jar of Ragu spaghetti sauce, a can of stewed tomatoes, a can of waxed beans (mistake), a cup of macaroni, and an undisclosed amount of hamburger and frozen veggies... it turned out absolutely delicious after adding, experimenting, adding... it's deeeeelicious. Took me two days but, yoooreeka!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 11 - 09:25 PM

One generally hangs the other half up in the smoke house and keeps it for emergency supplies in dead of winter. The Frenchman's toupe adds that extra indefinable touch of class to the pea soup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 11 - 08:26 PM

What did you do with the other half of the French Canadian? ANd what is the purpose of including his toupŽe in the soup?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 11 - 05:33 PM

French-Canadian Pee Soup? Thanks, but....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 11 - 02:35 PM

That half French Canadian pea soup boiling on the stove smells some good eh Mum?

Although I am using toupie ham as it has far less fat it still smells the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 11 - 12:20 PM

Yes.... (rolling eyes)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 11 - 10:42 AM

Fortunately, the hospital wasn't at all surprised. Rabid werewolves were a problem back then, in that place, and the medical profession was always ready. I wasn't bitten, but Wolfie did drool on me a lot (I nearly drowned!) and I had to be treated for lycanthropohydrophobiaphobia (fear of being drowned in rabid werewolf slobber).

But everything turned out for the best and I became the normal, rational person I am today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 10:44 PM

Ever since I was attacked by a werewolf (named "Wolfie Wolf") when I was very, very young I've been afraid of them. My mother killed it with her athame, which she fortunately had with her. Turned out that Wolfie was not only our next-door-but-one neighbor, but was also rabid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 11 - 10:34 PM

One up, oh, Manne of Bookes!

I have never been a lycanthoverbophile.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 10:28 PM

I can't help it that I suffer from lycanthropophobia. Every full moon I cower in the corner with my revolver loaded with silver bullets smeared with garlic paste. Got the bullets from a passing Verdeckter Mann and his faithful companion, Dumheit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 11 - 08:46 PM

Actually your fears were all realized in the deepest dark of sleep, several months ago. At least that's the word on the lycanthropic street.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 06:35 PM

I shall be happy to have it returned, as I had for years used it as protection against werewolves and have been living in lycanthropic fear for quite some time now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 May 11 - 04:34 PM

Thank you for your gallant words, Albert and Amos. But I think Rapparee is actually telling us in a roundabout way of his own experience of being flayed by this slender silver stick. You must have done something to hurt it because it has been gentle and compliant for me. Maybe it was trying to get away when it rolled under the radiator. As Gandalf said, "these [th]ings have a way of being found."

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 11 - 04:23 PM

True, there is no actual threat, given the predilection for passivity in the record of the perpetrator. Oral threats, however, are unseemly especially to a damsel, no matter how well justified. Just smile, tip your hat, and bend over.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 03:27 PM

There is no threat there; I'm just repeating what the warning label says.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Einstein
Date: 12 May 11 - 03:21 PM

Rraappaarree, Your threats to the fair damsel are very uncouth and unbecoming. Eisely, would you like me to sic the freds on that scallywag?

Al


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 03:11 PM

Knowing what it is I can promise you that attempting to misuse it will make all of your skin fall off just as you start The Special Dance at your graduation prom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 May 11 - 02:17 PM

Eiseley: The Stick!
Rapparee: Not the Stick!

Eiseley: The Stick!
Rapparee: Not the Stick!

Eiseley: The Stick!
Rapparee: Anything but the Stick!

Eiseley: Anything? Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
Rapparee: The Stick, the Stick!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 11 - 01:35 PM

Eiseley, make him bend over before you deliver it. It will hurt less.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 01:04 PM

Yes, pretty please with sugar and stuff on it. By the way, while I was gone a herd of wild dachshunds stampeded through my yard and left "traces" of their passing. Fortunately, Pat's cutting the grass right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 May 11 - 11:28 AM

Dear Abdul Alhazred or Yog-Sothoth or Shub-Niggurath or Rapparee, whatever your name is,

They are putting new carpet in your old office. I crept in and looked for buried treasure. What do you think I found? A silver stick you once threw to Quark! It is shiny and about five inches long. Would you like it back?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 11:06 AM

40666!!! It is A Sign!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 11:06 AM

So I'll change it to something else. How about Abdul Alhazred or Yog-Sothoth or Shub-Niggurath?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 11 - 09:49 AM

Oh say a prayer for poor Rapaire
Who changed the spelling of his name
To satisfy thw critics when
Just half the way to fame.

No laggard he, and dapperly
Pursued his cause with ravings just
Hoping some day that Rapparee
Would win the noble public's trust.

....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 12:23 AM

Oh, I see you STILL can't spell the name correctly. Perhaps, Amos, if you write it out in longhand 100 times....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 11 - 07:07 PM

That was Severn's idea. I merely aided and abetted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 11 - 06:53 PM

Mwahahaha. The only looks he has ever gotten are hard suspicious ones from law-enforcement agents. Rapparree is by far and without exception the best-looking Mudcatter ever to chair a forum on the subject of death warmed over.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 11 - 04:18 PM

You and Chongo have a great deal in common, Rapparee, telling your incredible tales of derring-do. A lot in common. Too bad he got the good looks, though. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 May 11 - 04:14 PM

Did you meet up with Bruce Willis on the way and when will the movie Die Hard In A Hovel come out?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 11 - 03:46 PM

Forget it, you cheap bastards. I took care of it myself. Can't depend on anyone these days. Yeah, I was face-down in the floor in the middle of the cross-fire, but I managed to remove a couple floorboards (they're not nailed down) and slip in the sewer underneath just before the cops lobbed in the tear gas/vomiting gas combination. Kantankuriss Kate tried to follow but plugged up the hole in floor so no one else could get out. I followed the sewer for a ways and then realized that this was one of the city's sewers that were unmapped. Guided only the by luminescence of the decaying organic matter that matted the walls of the sewer I finally found an exit, only to find it was under the exercise yard of the county jail! I retraced my steps and found an outlet in the concrete banks of the Portneuf river. I was able to kick out the grate, but the force needed hurled me into the river, which is in flood. Always trying for shore, I was swept by the current to American Falls Reservoir and just before I was to be carried through the gates I grabbed a tree jammed in the gate mechanism. After resting for several hours I was able to climb to the top of the dam and onto the highway, where I managed to hitch a ride home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 11 - 03:20 PM

Hmmm....lemme think on it and I will get back to you. THere are several other springs to be sprung first, I think...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 11 - 02:25 PM

How much is it really worth to spring Rapparee? Anyone got change? I have a nickel I can spare for a worthy cause...but I'm not sure if this one qualifies as such. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 11 - 01:37 PM

Rapparree is still being held in Communicado (the back-up site for the Hovel gang located somewhere in the deserts north of Sonora.) This is stressful to Mom who is worried she may be asked for money and doesn't want to be. Asked, that is.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 May 11 - 01:30 AM

Perhaps the correct answer to that query is to burn Shane's bedroom. And the house around it, if necessary?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 May 11 - 09:07 PM

You talkin ta earth? You talkin ta earth? You must be talkin ta earth cause we're the only ones here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 10 May 11 - 08:10 PM

We have reported this planet to the Interuniverse Pure Food Organization. Your DNA is disgusting. You may assume that you will get a "Clean Up or Close Up" order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 11 - 04:39 PM

Where indeed? And why? And for whom?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 May 11 - 04:08 PM

Where does it burn?


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