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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 31 Jan 11 - 02:49 PM
Amos 31 Jan 11 - 10:28 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 11 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 11 - 01:45 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 11 - 12:10 AM
Acme 31 Jan 11 - 12:05 AM
Amos 30 Jan 11 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 11 - 07:53 PM
Amos 30 Jan 11 - 07:47 PM
Amos 30 Jan 11 - 02:15 PM
Amos 30 Jan 11 - 12:49 PM
Acme 30 Jan 11 - 01:16 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 11 - 12:29 AM
Janie 29 Jan 11 - 11:09 PM
Amos 29 Jan 11 - 10:39 PM
Janie 29 Jan 11 - 09:14 PM
Janie 29 Jan 11 - 09:07 PM
Eiseley 29 Jan 11 - 08:45 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 11 - 07:49 PM
Amos 29 Jan 11 - 06:50 PM
Acme 29 Jan 11 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 11 - 12:25 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 11 - 12:16 PM
Eiseley 29 Jan 11 - 11:43 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jan 11 - 11:39 AM
Acme 29 Jan 11 - 11:38 AM
Eiseley 29 Jan 11 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 11 - 10:31 AM
Amos 28 Jan 11 - 10:29 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 11 - 09:41 PM
Acme 28 Jan 11 - 09:24 PM
Amos 28 Jan 11 - 09:23 PM
Janie 28 Jan 11 - 08:31 PM
Amos 28 Jan 11 - 07:43 PM
Amos 28 Jan 11 - 07:41 PM
gnu 28 Jan 11 - 07:22 PM
Eiseley 28 Jan 11 - 06:54 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 11 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 11 - 02:27 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Jan 11 - 02:03 PM
Amos 28 Jan 11 - 01:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 11 - 01:24 PM
Eiseley 28 Jan 11 - 11:24 AM
Amos 28 Jan 11 - 11:03 AM
Acme 28 Jan 11 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 11 - 09:43 AM
Janie 28 Jan 11 - 01:51 AM
Amos 27 Jan 11 - 07:50 PM
Amos 27 Jan 11 - 05:53 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 11 - 05:39 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 02:49 PM

Amos:

I do NOT "borrow" from anyone, as I don't give it back.

R.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 10:28 AM

That last remark would have been brilliant, sirrah, had it but come first instead of your Appalachian borrowings; as always, timning is everything.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 09:39 AM

You still got that common ol' cold, Amos? Well, common colds for common folks, I guess. MY colds are ALWAYS quite UNcommon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 01:45 AM

Iffen ya don't have the goose er bear grease an ya gets the fever, ya could try buryin' yerself in a big pile of fresh cow shit. Be sure ta leave yer head above it. This here worked every time when my Uncle Hank had to do it once back when the Depression was on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 12:10 AM

Iffen ya mix red pepper and goose er bear grease together real good and then smear it on yer chest the cold'll go away in no time. Oh yeah, bind a couple wraps of thick white flannel over it and smear some more on every couple hours. Fer that nasty cough a mixture of coal oil and laudanum works ever time. Just take about a 1/4 or 1/2 a wineglass full when you need it. But fergit it iffen ya start ta run a fever, cause then you're gonna die unless you wrap up real close in lots of quilts and hot bricks and sich to sweat the fever outa ya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 12:05 AM

The Longest Thread was wonderful, Amos. And I'm sure the cold will be gone in a jiffy, with such brilliance staring it down.

:)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 10:34 PM

No sir. As usual, I mean what I said, however mangled it may have become by your internal filters...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 07:53 PM

No! You mean that an immortal, flawless, impeccable, aesthetically superb cold has taken residence in your common, used-up, maculate, more-that-vaguely disturbing body?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 07:47 PM

How demoralizing!! My immortal, flawless, impeccable aesthetically superb physical form has been given a common cold. I am disgusted.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 02:15 PM

THE LONGEST THREAD


The longest thread in the Mudcat world
Is eight hundred pages long;
And half the folks who wrote those posts
Have thrown up their hands and gone, love
Thrown up their hands and gone.

The longest thread was ever wrote
It built the BS scene;
The first post written on a Christmas day,
The last ain't yet been seen, love,
The last ain't yet been seen.

Oh, who's gonna make your sweet lips smile
And make your soul confess?
Who's gonna make your sweet heart dance
If Mom runs out of BS, love?
If Mom runs out of BS?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 12:49 PM

She said why don't we both just sleep o it tonight?
And in the morning, I a sure you'll see the light.
ANd then she kissed me and I realized, she probably was right,
There must be fifty ways to off your lover!

Just pull out a gat, Matt
No question about that!
Just pull out a shiv, Liv,
He'll end up the same.
Use a big brick, Mick
Or DImaggio's bat, Pat
Just use use a garrotte, Tot,
And then change your name...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 01:16 AM

Sunday, Bloody Sunday, to be sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 11 - 12:29 AM

Also Murder On The Orient Express, The Cremation of Sam Magee, The Wreck Of The Hesperus, Danny Deever, and Death On The Nile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 11:09 PM

You got a point there, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 10:39 PM

I am not sure that's an impulse to brag about Raparree. You know full well if you went on one without her she would track you down and re-enact Death in Venice on you...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 09:14 PM

Why, I was there myself, back on a spring day in 1975. Truly a mind-boggling experience, especially if you drop a little Mr. Natural on the drive up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 09:07 PM

Why go to Argentina or visit the ancient world, when you can stay right here in the US of A and tour The Mystery Hole, for the price of a $2.00 ticket?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 08:45 PM

What a great idea! My folks have done a couple of those and enjoyed them very much.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 07:49 PM

I am seriously considering one of these later this year, after the excitement has calmed down some. I'd even take Pat along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 06:50 PM

It's a "once in a lifetime" kinda thing; sometimes that will push it over the top.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 05:34 PM

You were so lucky to be able to take the trip! I'm afraid it would be a huge process to go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 12:25 PM

Oh, yeah...Janie -- look here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 12:16 PM

Well, maybe she didn't say exactly that....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 11:43 AM

When I went, in 2000, it was exactly one to one (1 dollar equaled 1 peso). Then after 9/11 there were big financial upheavals. It seems to have settled now, though. That's a short answer to a very complex issue.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 11:39 AM

That looks really nice, Eiseley. I love those old colonial buildings. What is the money situation like down there in terms of the dollar exchange and the general cost of things?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 11:38 AM

Wow!

Hey, MOM, it's a pretty day outside. I'm going to plant some stuff in the garden. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah to those poor sods buried under snow back east. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 11:33 AM

Yes it was real Argentina! I visited Ushuaia(the world's southernmost city), San Carlos de Bariloche, and Buenos Aires. I liked Bariloche the best. It was wonderful! The prize was airfare to Argentina and back, so we spent a month because we didn't know if we'd ever make it back. I'd like to return someday. It was a very good return of a $30.00 pledge!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 11 - 10:31 AM

Yes, changed. She is now convinced she's Eva Peron and she doesn't speak very good Spanish. The last time I talked with her she said, "Yobosayo! Ich bien Evita. Ça va, mon vieux dunderheit? Y como esta votre műtter y todos? Ciao!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 10:29 PM

It was real. A trip to Argentina. ANd she went too. ANd came back, too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 09:41 PM

Juan Peron invited her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 09:24 PM

Gives me a stiff neck just looking at it.

Eiseley, let the other shoe drop, please.

Argentina? For real? Or was it Argentina, Idaho?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 09:23 PM

I wish to acknowledge James Thurber as the origin of the wine-snob remark I posted. With profuse apologies for my oversight.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 08:31 PM

But why in the world would MOM's daughters want to?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 07:43 PM

The density (mass per unit of volume) of water can vary. For example, the average density of seawater at the surface of the ocean is 1025 kg/m³ (10.25 lb/ga, 8.55 lb/US gallon), fresh water on the other hand has a density of about 1000 kg/m³ (10.00 lb/ga, 8.35 lb/US gallon).[1]

Consider a 100-ton ship passing from a saltwater sea into a freshwater river. It always displaces exactly 100 tons of water, but it has to displace a greater volume of fresh water to amount to 100 tons. Therefore it would sit slightly lower in the water in the freshwater river than it would in the saltwater sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 07:41 PM

Asking Mom's daughters to give you an udder is in very poor sort of taste indeed!!

Those ladies in silk are just incredible!! Thanks!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 07:22 PM

I have been to tastings. They don't appreciate, "Mmmm. That's tastey. Give us anudder." Especially after tasting a few. Even if ya offer yer keys up. Snobby wine types.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 06:54 PM

Ouch!

Actually, I think we'd have to use the same size box. But there are three of us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 05:30 PM

I'll betcha MOM's daughters could do this. And they could use a smaller box, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 02:27 PM

Another thing you shouldn't say is "Man! This stuff always gives me gas!"

(Amos, you didn't credit James Thurber.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 02:03 PM

Or how about....

"Kicks like a mule, sticks to yer ribs, bites like a crazed hellbitch. Tomorrow you won't even remember yer own name..."

(real cheap whisky)

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 01:39 PM

"A pleasant little domestic with no real breeding,but you will be amused by its presumption..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 01:24 PM

Oh, yeah. Here are some wine-tasting comments you can use so you seem sofistikated an all:

"A nice body, but perhaps the grapes were picked a couple of hours early."

"A full nose, reminiscent of blackberries, elderberries, and chocolate."

"Ah, just the right touch of a cinnamon taste."

Whatever you do, don't make comments like these:

"Last Tuesday -- in the afternoon, I'd say."

"The tastes of cherries, honey, and turpentine with just the slightest hint of gasoline."

"What a delightful treat for the nose! It reminds me of being tear gassed back in the Sixties."

"Betcha I kin chug more of that Peenot Greggy-oh than you kin!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 11:24 AM

Yay, Janie!

Once I won a trip to Argentina from the public radio station.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 11:03 AM

SOme folks don't like wine; some folks don't like parties. Lucky is the gal who likes both!!

Congratulations on your generous Karma!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 10:02 AM

That sounds like a lovely occasion you can set up for yourself and five friends, Janie! Our local NPR station had a lot of folks call during the hour something similar was being raffled off (a tea party for 6 in the DeGolyer Mansion at the Dallas Arboretum). I suspect no one turned those down!

Lots of Mudcatters are under snow right now, but they're living in climates and places I'd prefer instead of Texas. Texas right now is relatively warm and sunny. That's the bummer, and the reason I'm still here - the spouse didn't want to leave to return to the east coast winters. Now an ex, but I'm still here, anchored by inertia and raising kids.

Where does MOM want to move when she "retires?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 09:43 AM

You sip wine, swish it around like mouthwash (some of it tastes like mouthwash), and spit it out. Then you rench (hillbilly talk) out your mouth with water and do that thing with the wine again. Then the water, and so on. In the meantime you eat fancy tasteless crackers, somewhat decent cheese (not Velveeta!), and chocolates.

You can also swallow the wine, if you live close by or have a designated driver.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 01:51 AM

Random acts of good news.

Got a call today from my local public radio station. Have won a drawing, (well, sort of, the first two names they drew declined the prize,) for a private wine tasting party with cheeses and chocolates for a party of 6 at a local winery.

Pondering why the first 2 declined.

" What happens at a wine tasting?" asks the reclusive and socially inept hillbilly woman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 07:50 PM

IV:

And when the sun came out of the ice
In its gray and wintry light
There was naught t'be seen but the pale white sheen
Where the hills and the sea lay white.
And the paths were white, and the sky was white
And white was the lead dog's breath
As if sea, and land, and dogs and air
Had agreed to jes' freeze to death.
And the frost was white that rimed our beards
At the dawn of that frozen day.
And the only glow came from a dream,
A dream of that distant Kay.

For we wasn't close--we had fer to go
We had over five hundred still.
With nothing to aid but the guts of the crew,
Our backs, and the dogs' good will.
We had little enough to eat or drink
And nothing' to ease our way.
And all we could do was mush, and think,
Think on that next of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 05:53 PM

I've heard muttering "Dam Edna!" under her breath. Maybe that's who she meant?

Eiseley, thanks; I think I will pass, even though the breadth and depth of the knowledge therein surpasseth by orders of magnitude the shelf-length and earth-weight thereof.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 05:39 PM

MOM would never have any truck with them hoity-toity types of "nobles" or royalty. MOM is a freedom-loving American! She taught me the epitaph President James Madison's father (which the family changed out of embarrassment):

First fruits and tithes are odious things
And so are bishops, priests, and kings.

MOM made me promise never to bow when I meet royalty, but to stick out my hand like and American and say, "Howdy, King (or Queen)! How y'all? How's your momma an' all them doin'?"


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