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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 09 May 16 - 08:28 AM
Amos 09 May 16 - 12:58 AM
gnu 08 May 16 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 08 May 16 - 09:10 PM
Acme 08 May 16 - 09:00 PM
Little Hawk 08 May 16 - 08:02 PM
Amos 08 May 16 - 07:42 PM
Little Hawk 08 May 16 - 06:59 PM
Rapparee 08 May 16 - 06:38 PM
Little Hawk 08 May 16 - 06:30 PM
Amos 08 May 16 - 02:21 PM
Acme 08 May 16 - 12:44 PM
Little Hawk 08 May 16 - 12:21 PM
Acme 08 May 16 - 12:07 PM
Rapparee 07 May 16 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 07 May 16 - 11:32 AM
Acme 07 May 16 - 09:48 AM
Amos 07 May 16 - 01:57 AM
Donuel 07 May 16 - 12:33 AM
Rapparee 06 May 16 - 10:23 PM
gnu 06 May 16 - 03:07 PM
Acme 06 May 16 - 08:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 16 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 05 May 16 - 09:56 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 16 - 04:10 PM
keberoxu 05 May 16 - 02:49 PM
Amos 05 May 16 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 05 May 16 - 08:50 AM
Amos 05 May 16 - 01:18 AM
Little Hawk 04 May 16 - 09:31 PM
keberoxu 04 May 16 - 05:00 PM
Donuel 04 May 16 - 04:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 May 16 - 02:38 PM
Amos 04 May 16 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 04 May 16 - 11:47 AM
gnu 04 May 16 - 08:39 AM
Acme 03 May 16 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 03 May 16 - 09:03 PM
Rapparee 03 May 16 - 07:53 AM
Amos 03 May 16 - 12:14 AM
Rapparee 02 May 16 - 10:24 PM
Little Hawk 02 May 16 - 08:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 May 16 - 06:45 PM
keberoxu 02 May 16 - 05:44 PM
Rapparee 02 May 16 - 09:04 AM
Amos 01 May 16 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 01 May 16 - 08:48 PM
Amos 01 May 16 - 05:51 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 16 - 08:28 AM

It's not either-or. That would require a duality for which I have been chided.

I greatly prefer a unity wherein the world knows beauty as beauty, ugliness arises; when it knows good as good, evil arises; and thus being and non-being produce each other. Difficult and easy bring about each other, long and short reveal each other, high and low support each other, music and voice harmonize each other, and front and back follow each other. Amos, you must attain the ultimate emptiness, hold on to the truest tranquility!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 16 - 12:58 AM

Dear Rapp:

The differences between the two perspectives are legion, gargantuan, decisive, On tthe one hand, the commitment to the ultimate truth of individual consideration; on the other hand the abasement of it to the mechanisms of duality and apparent solidity. Choose one or the other--integrity or compromise`, the sacred sovereignty of the individual or the endless suppression of material dualism. By your choice, they will know you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 16 - 10:27 PM

Now I lay me down to sleep,
With a bag of peanuts at my feet.
If I should die before I wake,
Give them to my brother Jake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 16 - 09:10 PM

Oft am I castigated and psychologically flogged because of my expressed philosophical observations. Yet today I read

In all the years of research and struggle one truth has risen above all others: truth is your own, no-one else's. Keep this torch held high, and every path will be better lit for it.
There are many faces to truth according to some philosophers. But no. The truth only has one face, ultimately, and that face is the one you see in any true mirror.

AHJ


even though the author had earlier posted

Rapparee's entranced affection for dichotomistic thought is a sad testament to the Marxian influence in his conditioning. Dualism is a sad confession to the superiority of the merely physical universe,, surrendering sll rights and privileges to love, awareness, creativity and understanding which are the peculiar provinces of the higher domain` of knowing and seeing clearly.

The endless riprap of thesis and antithesis is a weak substitute for these higher powers.


One of these statements is false, possibly this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 16 - 09:00 PM

There's never a Galactic Overlord around when you need one to make everyone feel puny and as insignificant as a grain of sand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 16 - 08:02 PM

Correct! And this is why Chongo is seriously considering "culling" Rap "from the national herd" after he gets elected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 16 - 07:42 PM

Ah. It was not a spelling error, but an intentional defamation of the entire planet and all those residing therein.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 16 - 06:59 PM

World of Shit sounds like a pretty compelling philosophy to me...and one that has already accomplished a great deal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 16 - 06:38 PM

I did not make a spelling mistake.

As for my psychological makeup -- it's Mother's Day. My mother can tell you all about me if you will but ask her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 16 - 06:30 PM

I think he should. We NEED a convincing explanation and justification for the weird phenomenon that is Rapparee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 16 - 02:21 PM

So this is what I am talking about. In his haste to seem impressive, Rapp has offered the concept of "world fusion", one's view of the world, which in German is Weltenschweiss--note the second w". But what he has given us instead is Weltenscheiss, a word which means World of Shit, or perhaps Shit of the World. Perhaps, colloquially, it is the German equivalent of MOAB herself? The world is our mother, after all.

I think Herr Doktor Liebenscheiss would be fascinated by this seemingly unintentional slip of the keyboard, and that he would love to analyze Herr Rappenscheiss personally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 16 - 12:44 PM

Isn't there a bird bath with a Little Pissant statue out beside the Legion Hovel?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 16 - 12:21 PM

Weltenscheiss is indeed the unstoppable wave of the future, and has been endorsed by the greatest thinkers of our time, luminaries such as Woody Allen, Karl Rove, Rachel Maddow, and Chongo Chimp. To have a full grasp of the length, breadth, and the extraordinary reach of Weltenscheiss, look no further than the writings of the esteemed Herr Doktor Liebenscheiss of Vienna...or those of our own dear, departed, and beloved Catspaw49, specially the latter's stories about Paw, Cletus, and the Reg Boys.

Weltenscheiss can be used to justify------anything! This accounts for its rising popularity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 16 - 12:07 PM

Out through the sally port to the sally garden where the praties grow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 16 - 10:54 PM

Marxian influence in my thinking, Amos? Harpo, Chico, Groucho, Gummo, or Zeppo? Henriette, Sophie, Hermann, Louise, Emilie, Karoline, or Moritz? Louis? Please be more specific.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 16 - 11:32 AM

Far better than monochromatic thought, or even dichromatic thought, Amos. My world view (Weltenscheiss, in German)is polychromatic, some say in the extreme...and we all know extremism in the defense of Weltenscheiss is no fault.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 May 16 - 09:48 AM

I think my Great Aunt had that. She was better after outpatient surgery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 16 - 01:57 AM

Rapparee's entranced affection for dichotomistic thought is a sad testament to the Marxian influence in his conditioning. Dualism is a sad confession to the superiority of the merely physical universe,, surrendering sll rights and privileges to love, awareness, creativity and understanding which are the peculiar provinces of the higher domain` of knowing and seeing clearly.

The endless riprap of thesis and antithesis is a weak substitute for these higher powers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 07 May 16 - 12:33 AM

Its $15/lb here.



Ode to a bull shit ufo tv show

Old Franz heard ufo signals
He heard it on his radio
The one that he had invented
People thought he flipped his wignal

The I that can't see itself thinks
wordless thoughts that flow down the sink
Waves murmur melodies of "we"
Sometimes it shares secrets with me.

The blind may hear more than most souls.
The wordless see more than you're told
Like a blurred smear of future past
Some see through time that ever lasts.

We have abilities unknown
To transmit though space you can't see
So stop making fun of Tesla
Everything you use he conceived.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 16 - 10:23 PM

There are "technicolor messages" left all over my back yard!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 16 - 03:07 PM

So, like, Gluon could be Glunon too? Oh wow, man. Far out... or in... or both?

Bugs! Males. Big claws... 1.5 pounds each at $7 a pound. I got four. Happy Mother's Day. URP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 16 - 08:59 AM

Has anyone seen Gluon lately? Did she leave any technicolor messages you want to pass along?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 16 - 11:00 PM

Nietzsche's statement, "Ich bein Gott, und ich bein Gott nicht," is almost always misinterpreted. He wasn't talking about "Gott", the German word for "God". He was talking about Gott brand ice chests and coolers (now made by Rubbermaid). He was simply confused as to whether he was a 48 quart Gott, or a similarly sized Igloo, Coleman, or Thermos. If he were still around today, he'd be even more confused since he'd also have to contend with the possibility of being a Yeti.

Exactly where Nietzsche's conviction that he might be an ice chest came from is a bit of a mystery. But if one must be an inanimate object it's good to be something useful, like a cooler, instead of something utterly useless, like a Chia Pet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 16 - 09:56 PM

Amos Amos you're you're repeating repeating yourself yourself.

Existence carries within its definition nonexistence. President Trump carries within it non-President Trump. All things, all ideas, carry within them their opposite and all possible variations of themselves. Thus I am all things and no things, just as everyone is. "Ich bein Gott, und ich bein Gott nicht," as Freddy Nietzsche used to tell Bert Einstein after a few rounds; this caused a lot of laughter as Freddy had declared God dead. We used to agree with Freddy and then say, "Ja, gut nacht." German puns are somewhat convoluted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM

Geeze, it's nice to see BWL back in these sacred basement halls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:39 PM

Geeze, it's nice to see BWL back in these sacred basement halls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 16 - 04:10 PM

A truly transcendent entity would necessarily encompass all modes of being. He/she/it would have perfect teeth, need extensive dental work, and no longer need teeth at all, all at the same time. I know it's hard to wrap your head around, but it's far more comprehensible than the possibility of a Donald Trump presidency.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 May 16 - 02:49 PM

You have a hard time closing your mouth?! Me, I would complain....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 02:37 PM

IS there anything illogical about Rapparree claiming extreme dental work in one paragraph, and claiming to have transcended into pure spiritual form in another paragraph in the same post? If both paragraphs are pure BS, is contradiction even possible? Does Macy's contradict Gimbel's?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 16 - 08:50 AM

Yes, the damage done by sucking sugarcane is fixed. The dentist said that the bridge was covered by warranty, so I only had to pay for the initial exam. He also reinforced the new bridge with 1.5 inch rebar, which makes it hard to close my mouth when I eat or something. It wasn't a bad deal, but as usual my gag reflex cut in as the truck was pouring the concrete. Thanks for asking, K.

For you others -- I long ago cast off that mortal coil. Thus it is that when you want to play guitar or banjo and you think you hear extra notes it's because I'm pluckin' with ya. It is I who moves your car keys, I who empties the ink from from your pen and breaks off the point of your pencil. I bring the snow and cold in May and blight the flowers with frost in August. When you need two bags of flour and the store has only one, I took the other. Any inconvenience or annoyance, no matter how petty, c'est moi. BUT DON'T BLAME ME FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 16 - 01:18 AM

R's mouth is not on the list of body parts waiting to be reallocated. The senior Board of Medical Approvals left it off for sanitary reasons, and also because of the basic dynamics of supply (+1) and demand (- b67,345.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 May 16 - 09:31 PM

The answer is to become an imaginary character, enshrined in popular fiction, and then one lives forever!

Examples: Robin Hood, Batman, Sherlock Holmes, Chongo Chimp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 May 16 - 05:00 PM

Haven't heard about your mouth though, Rapparee....that nasty encounter with sugarcane...did you get that work done, and that satisfactory?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 May 16 - 04:54 PM

Rap, If what Amos said is true, are you going to donate your body for transplants or Soylent Green?
I'm game for either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 May 16 - 02:38 PM

Yeah, what Amos said. Dead retired librarians don't need glasses anymore. In fact, there's an entire panoply of things for which dead retired librarians have no use. Chief among them are guitars and fishing boats. If you have any of either, please send them to me before your expiration date so we won't have to deal with probate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 16 - 02:05 PM

I hate to tell you this but that is simply a euphemism for looming mortality. "Not needing glasses anymore" is a natural concomitant of letting go of the sack of meat one has been using as a credit card in the world, and standing revealed and naked in all one's spiritual simplicity, untrammeled by matter or energy.

In any case, best of luck!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 16 - 11:47 AM

The doc said this morning that I might not need glasses any more....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 May 16 - 08:39 AM

Ditto Acme.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 16 - 10:31 PM

They're going to have to hire a knife sharpener to visit Pocotello to sharpen all of the scalpels after all of the surgeries you've had.

I hope this one heals quickly and you're on your feet and kicking butt down at the Legion hovel in no time at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 16 - 09:03 PM

Well, THAT surgery is over and the patient (me) is doing okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 16 - 07:53 AM

Wondrous the stone of these ancient walls, shattered by fate.
The districts of the city have crumbled.
The work of giants of old lies decayed.
Roofs are long tumbled down,
The lofty towers are in ruins.
Frost covers the mortar,
Tiles weathered and fallen, undermined by age.

The original builders are long in the earth's cruel grip,
a hundred generations since have passed.
These broad walls, now reddened and lichen-aged, brown and gray:
once they withstood invading kingdoms.
Now, beneath countless seasons, they have fallen.
The rampart assembled by many, crumbles still,
Though hewn together with skill of sharpening and joining,
Strengthened ingeniously with chain and cabled rib-walls.

In the city, urbane buildings, bathhouses, lofty rooftops,
a glamorous multitude gathered.
Many a mead hall filled with human revelry --
until Fate inexorably changed everything.

All the inhabitants succumbed to pestilence.
Swept away are the great warriors.
Their towers and walls are deserted,
the desolate city crumbles away.
Who could repair any of it,
for they are long dead.

So the courtyards and gates have collapsed,
and the pavilion roofs of vaulted beams crumbled.
Here where once rich men in resplendent clothes, proud, wine-flushed,
gleaming in war trappings, gazed upon their gold and silver treasure,
their gems and precious stones,
upon their wealth, and property:
the bright city of a broad kingdom.

Stone courtyards ran streams of ample water, heating the great bathes,
conveniently flowing into the great stone vats ...

So is it not fitting ... [what has come to pass?].


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 16 - 12:14 AM

O City! O latest Throne! Where I was rais'd
To be a mystery of loveliness
Unto all eyes, the time is well-nigh come
When I must render up this glorious home
To keen Discovery: soon yon brilliant towers
Shall darken with the waving of her wand;
Darken, and shrink and shiver into huts,
Black specks amid a waste of dreary sand,
Low-built, mud-wall'd, Barbarian settlements.
How chang'd from this fair City!'


"Timbuctoo"
by Alfred Tennyson

Who didn't think this particularly poem was any good. He put it together to enter a contest because his father urged him to. He won.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 16 - 10:24 PM

You forgot to mention the pythons and alligators. They're an excellent wireless disposal system.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 May 16 - 08:18 PM

HA! HA! HA! Perfect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 May 16 - 06:45 PM

Hi, Mom!

I got a phone call from a telemarketer wanting to sell me a wireless security system. I told him I already have one. He asked, "Really? What brand do you have?" I told him, "A bulldog, four shotguns, two rifles, and a revolver." He hung up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 May 16 - 05:44 PM

Julia Moore married a farmer and ran a shop, since you ask.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 16 - 09:04 AM

Amos, Amos, Amos. I would NEVER EVER laugh at the guy who wrote

I stood upon the mountain which o'erlooks        
The narrow seas, whose rapid interval        
Parts Afric from green Europe, when the sun        
Had fallen below the Atlantic, and above        
The silent heavens were blenched with faery light,              
Uncertain whether faery light or cloud,        
Flowing southward, and the chasms of deep, deep blue        
Slumbered unfathomable, and the stars        
Were flooded over with clear glory and pale.        
I gazed upon the sheeny coast beyond,              
There where the Giant of old Time infixed        
The limits of his prowess, pillars high        
Long time erased from earth; even as the Sea        
When weary of wild inroad buildeth up        
Huge mounds whereby to stay his yeasty waves.              
And much I mused on legends quaint and old,        
Which whilome won the hearts of all on earth        
Toward their brightness, even as flame draws air;        
But had their being in the heart of man,        
As air is the life of flame: and thou wert then              
A centred glory-circled memory,        
Divinest Atalantis, whom the waves        
Have buried deep, and thou of later name,


I was so deeply in sorrow and tears that I could not copy more here. Poor Mother MOAB would again turn to drink and yeasty waves would build up huge mounds in her ccup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 16 - 11:02 PM

The Eagle



BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON

He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring'd with the azure world, he stands.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 16 - 08:48 PM

I have nothing to add right now.

Except

He grasps the crag with crooked claws
Up in the air with jacks and daws
And like a thunderbolt he falls.

            -- Fred, Lord Tennyson


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 16 - 05:51 PM

The pain of exit is proportional to the pain of arrival.

---First law of hot foods.


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