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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 09 - 07:51 PM
GUEST,The Omniscient Rapaire 27 Dec 09 - 07:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 09 - 07:25 PM
GUEST,Amos the All Imaginative 27 Dec 09 - 06:36 PM
Acme 27 Dec 09 - 04:00 PM
Janie 27 Dec 09 - 01:11 PM
Acme 27 Dec 09 - 01:09 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 09 - 01:01 PM
GUEST,Amos the Beyond All Imagining How Cool 27 Dec 09 - 12:37 PM
GUEST,The Daring, Yet Delightful, Rapaire 27 Dec 09 - 08:18 AM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 09 - 01:16 AM
Amos 26 Dec 09 - 10:03 PM
Acme 26 Dec 09 - 08:26 PM
Janie 26 Dec 09 - 07:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Dec 09 - 05:03 PM
GUEST,The Wonderful, Gracious, Rapaire 26 Dec 09 - 04:16 PM
Acme 26 Dec 09 - 01:57 PM
Amos 26 Dec 09 - 01:00 PM
Acme 26 Dec 09 - 02:01 AM
Janie 25 Dec 09 - 11:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Dec 09 - 10:13 PM
Acme 25 Dec 09 - 09:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Dec 09 - 07:52 PM
Acme 25 Dec 09 - 06:51 PM
Acme 25 Dec 09 - 04:27 PM
GUEST,The Audacious Rapaire 25 Dec 09 - 02:15 PM
Janie 25 Dec 09 - 01:20 PM
GUEST,The brave, noble, and kind Rapaire 25 Dec 09 - 01:12 PM
Acme 24 Dec 09 - 11:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Dec 09 - 10:10 PM
Acme 24 Dec 09 - 09:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Dec 09 - 08:30 PM
GUEST,The Brav e and Noble Rapaire 24 Dec 09 - 07:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Dec 09 - 06:21 PM
Acme 24 Dec 09 - 11:18 AM
GUEST,The Noble Rapaire 24 Dec 09 - 10:53 AM
Janie 24 Dec 09 - 08:49 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Dec 09 - 05:33 AM
Acme 24 Dec 09 - 01:19 AM
Amos 24 Dec 09 - 12:39 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 09 - 08:49 PM
GUEST,Rapaire, the Fave Rave 23 Dec 09 - 08:20 PM
Amos 23 Dec 09 - 07:25 PM
Acme 23 Dec 09 - 06:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 09 - 06:00 PM
Amos 23 Dec 09 - 05:15 PM
MMario 23 Dec 09 - 11:44 AM
MMario 23 Dec 09 - 11:42 AM
Acme 23 Dec 09 - 11:38 AM
MMario 23 Dec 09 - 11:33 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 07:51 PM

I understand that, from a mathematical/topological standpoint, a hole must go completely through a surface. But in terms of common everyday usage, when does a depression reach sufficient depth that Bubba or Jim Bob would call it a "hole"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Omniscient Rapaire
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 07:43 PM

When it goes through the sandbox and everything under it and comes out on the other side.

A hole is a board goes completely through the board, a dent or depression does not. Same thing for your sandbox.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 07:25 PM

Hey, Mom! While you're driving down the highway in your that trucker's highjacked Kenworth, ponder this:

Imagine you have a good-sized child's sandbox filled with damp, unpacked beach sand. Now, imagine you were to gently place a bowling ball onto that sand. It would make a shallow depression, right? Then, imagine you were to lift that bowling ball an inch or so and drop it onto the sand. It would make a slightly deeper depression, right? Now, imagine you were to climb a step-ladder, lift that bowling ball over your head, and throw it onto the sand. It would make a hole, wouldn't it? So, at what point does the change from depression to hole occur?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos the All Imaginative
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 06:36 PM

Trucker Abandoned Penniless by Highway by Imaginary Friend!! Claims She Took His Truck Too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 04:00 PM

So the question, Janie, is did you have your vehicle towed back to your parents house or closer to your own house? Are you sleeping in the car tonight?

I'll keep any eye on CNN. They like exciting news stories, so I'm sure they'll keep their eyes open for MOM and her trucker.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 01:11 PM

The good news is my car over-heated within just a few miles of me leaving my parents' to head home, and that Triple A had a tow truck there very quickly.

The bad news is I could not keep MOM from sticking out her thumb, or of refusing the offer of the Overnite trucker to take her to Louisiana for a little holiday down in the bayou.

I hope the trucker will be safe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 01:09 PM

Take care up in Grass Valley. Wish your brother a fond farewell.

It's sunny and cold here. It's usually sunny and warm here, so though I grew up in a northern clime, I'm no longer acclimated to sunny and cold. I'm thinking the suitable response is to head for dark and warm (a movie theater).

MOM, do you want to see Sherlock Holmes kick ass, or some blue creatures on a made up moon kick ass? Or George Clooney symbolically kick ass? Or John Travolta and Robin Williams act like asses?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 01:01 PM

If a southern Californian thinks your traffic is bad, (    insert punchline of your choice here    ).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos the Beyond All Imagining How Cool
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 12:37 PM

I will support him, indeed, from the neck with some stout hemp rope we keep out here just for his sort. Fifteen minutes, max.


Berkeley is bodacious. But, man, the traffic!! We did the King TUt exhibit at the De Yoounge museum yesterday. Most impressive.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Daring, Yet Delightful, Rapaire
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 08:18 AM

I hope Shame does. Amos has immense amounts of good dope stashed in his house, along with lots and lots of beer, and the girls in his neighorhood are always "willing." Shame could hang out there for a long, long time and Amos would be happy to support him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 01:16 AM

Amos, take a look at Bobert's Stoner Christmas Story thread. It seems that Shane is hoping to pay you a visit in the near future.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 09 - 10:03 PM

Mom, pay no mind to the bodacious narcissism of yon Rapaire. I have been working hard to bring a wunnerful Xmas to Barky and BBW. Tomorrow we head north yet again for a memorial service in Grass Valley. Your name is on the tip of all our tongues.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 09 - 08:26 PM

My house is sooooo quiet. And the dogs need baths, so they're outside (otherwise I might let them in for the company).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 26 Dec 09 - 07:07 PM

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my mother fixed for me
Smoked turkey breast
And all kinds of other good food.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Dec 09 - 05:03 PM

I'm not observing Boxing Day this year. Well, actually, I am observing it, I'm just not participating in it. I'm being a passive observer.

These are my Boxing Day observations so far:

1) I haven't observed anyone doing any boxing.

2) I haven't observed anyone doing any fencing either. But I'll probably be doing a bit tomorrow.
    The deer and rabbits have about wrecked the winter garden.

3) I've heard a fair amount of shooting, but that's normal. One of the neighbors seems to have gotten a new black powder rifle for Christmas.
    (Click-BOOM!) Another seems to have scored a new semi-automatic rifle. (Bat-Bat-Bat-Bat-Bat-Bat-Bat... until the clip runs out.)
    I haven't seen or heard anything to indicate that any of the shooting is being shot at anyone.

That is all. If I observe anything exciting, you can bet I'll let you know about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Wonderful, Gracious, Rapaire
Date: 26 Dec 09 - 04:16 PM

Happy Boxing Day, Mom! I hope that everything has gotten boxed by now and put in the boxing ring in the box room. I'm still in Maryland, but I'm flying home on Monday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 09 - 01:57 PM

I'm glad someone is having a casual day! I walked into the kitchen this morning and all I could smell was salmon (we opened a package last night for a late snack). After cleaning down the counter, mopping the floor, and scouring the front of the cabinet drawers and ornate pulls, I finally realized the smell came from a dishtowel sitting off to one side.

The upside is that in addition to doing a load of laundry, the kitchen looks great!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 09 - 01:00 PM

Hi mom! I am sitting in a coffee shop Berkeley doing nothing useful at all and having lots of fun


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 09 - 02:01 AM

If Janie and MOM are mad at Amos I guess that means the shit has hit the flan.

Is Little Hawk around? Any comment on the claim that the Shat man is Jewish? I knew Nimoy was, but didn't realize Wm was. Hmmm. (I first heard this recorded by Neil Diamond on YouTube, and started poking around. Seems to originate with Sandler).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 11:18 PM

MOM dined on prime rib. No flan here, either.

Amos is in big trouble with MOM for not even showing up for Christmas. Do you think it had anything to do with the turgidity of flan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 10:13 PM

No bruised butts here. The nasty stuff (heavy rains & 40+ MPH winds) had all passed over by daybreak. And there were no cold temperatures with it. They're coming tonight.

We had brunch at my step-daughter's and dinner later on at her in-laws. No flan was served at either place. Cranberry chutney, but no flan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 09:36 PM

I hope you didn't end up with bruised butts, going out in that weather. Though I suppose if you landed on a flan you might not have much of a hematoma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 07:52 PM

I was gonna be first to wish Mom a merry Christmas, but the storm that came through last night knocked our power out and it hadn't come back up by the time we left to do Christmas with relatives in town. We had some pretty strong winds and they must've knocked a tree onto a power line or something. Anyway, Mom knows it's the thought that counts and she says she forgives me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 06:51 PM

The sun is setting on a yard still with patches of snow. I wonder how many sore butts there are in North Texas, being worn by those who didn't exercise appropriate caution when approaching this white holiday?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 04:27 PM

That's what that stink was? Kale?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Audacious Rapaire
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 02:15 PM

Two bottles of cheap wine, a loaf of Wonder bread, some kale in potlikker, and a plate full of grits and red-eye gravy are expensive presents?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 01:20 PM

I take heart in the fact that there is a character limit and Rapaire has probably reached it, so we are not likely to note anymore self-flattering adjectives appended to his name.

Since Mom is spending with me Rapaire, so there was no need to post greetings to her. She was a little upset that you were too cheap pay her air fare to DC, but now that she has opened all the lovely and expensive gifts and is basking warmly in the presence of those who truly care for her, she is much consoled.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The brave, noble, and kind Rapaire
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 01:12 PM

Merry Christmas, Mom. I see that I'm the first to say it to you today.

Which is understandable, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 11:56 PM

Yes, I just saw that. Disconnect between brain and fingers. I was probably going to say something about the end of the year and edited myself. Still baking. Still frozen out. I propped the side door into the garage shut with a couple of bricks. It has been drifting open because the knob thingie doesn't quite engage to keep it closed. My poor pooches will get cold that way! (They have their dog houses filled with hay in a stall covered with a tarp and a radiator heater tied upright to keep them warm.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 10:10 PM

I assume you meant "next door", Stilly. Only Gluon can take cookies "next year".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 09:36 PM

Ugg. Be careful what you wish for. . .

It's snowing steadily. Stuck to the ground and the street. This is friggin Texas, and we have a white christmas. I just took cookies next year and got snow in my shoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 08:30 PM

No, Rapaire, it wouldn't really be a flan club. It would be more in the way of a charity. Sort of a flanthropic organization.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Brav e and Noble Rapaire
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 07:24 PM

You want to set up a flan club for me? Well...I'm flattered, albeit still humble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 06:21 PM

Hi Mom! Today was baking day! We baked (in order of appearance) four loaves of honey whole wheat bread, one two-layer German chocolate cake, two pans of gluten-free brownies, a dozen sandwich sized rolls (same recipe as the bread) one cinnamon/brown sugar rolled up thingie (also same recipe as the bread). Sorry, no flan, turgid or otherwise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 11:18 AM

I think we should get Rap back on flans, it keeps him grounded.

Looks like Janie has a long exciting ride ahead.

MOM, why did you turn on the snow machine? I think by now we know that the IDEA of a white christmas is a lot more appealing that the actual EVENT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Noble Rapaire
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 10:53 AM

I see no reason why not, Amos. Just as I see no reason why the Universe should not change to accommodate MY wants and wishes. Hmm...as the Creator I can make it so....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 08:49 AM

I'm headed out. I'm on my way
To Ma & Pa's for Christmas Day
Over the Piedmont, into the hills
Nuttin' will stop me, not even roadkills
I'll pass those possums, groundhogs, coons
(I'm pretty sure I'll see no loons)
Up Fancy Gap, through Ol' Virginny
I'm headed home to WEST Virginny.

Big Walker Mountain won't slow me down
On my way to Charleston town
Through East River tunnel, fast, in my Subaree
I'll cross the State line and holler Yippee!
Be there before the ice storm hits
Hope it don't leave Santa's sleigh in bits.
Toll booth money ready in the tray
Hope traffic doesn't get in my way.

Hello Bluefield, Beckley, Pax
Mahan's the last booth to pay the tax
One last hill, then there's the river
Kanawha, beautiful. Makes me shiver.
From there I think I smell Ma's cookin'
Stomp on the gas, now I'm bookin'!
Coal-filled barges, Capital Dome
Signal that I'm almost home.
Hard right turn, then right once more
Then on the porch and in the door.

Home at last.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 05:33 AM

Actually, Stilly, I was thinking more along the lines of this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 01:19 AM

Did you have Lionel locomotives in mind? What gauge?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 12:39 AM

I promise not to injure myself stopping locomotives with my bare hands. I can't even conceive why anyone would do that, but, maybe BWL's version of my MOAB persona is capable of such.    I can have that.


Rapaire, what--you thought it would be fair to make the MOAB come screeching to a halt to indulge you? Man, don't play the hand if you can't stand the pain, you know?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 08:49 PM

It's worse than that, Rapaire. Now Amos want us to refer to him as "Oh Man of Threes". He's convinced that capturing the 33333 post has given him extraordinary powers. We hope he doesn't injure himself attempting to stop locomotives with his bare hands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire, the Fave Rave
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 08:20 PM

Mom,

See? Amos doesn't play fair, just like I knew he would.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 07:25 PM

Flaccid,
You 've got me feeling flaccid
Ever since you said good byeeee....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 06:07 PM

Now this silliness: This is what the holiday season is all about! The line forms here for putrid pies and torpid tortes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 06:00 PM

♫♫

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Some insipid macaroni

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two putrid pies
And some insipid macaroni

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Three torpid tortes
Two putrid pies
And some insipid macaroni

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four flaccid franks
Three torpid tortes
Two putrid pies
And some insipid macaroni

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
FIVE TURGID FLANS
Four flaccid franks
Three torpid tortes
Two putrid pies
And some insipid macaroni

♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 05:15 PM

Every flan should have a public option.

I would always exercise mine. Nothing beats a well exercised option around the house, or a well-exercised flan, for that matter. Otherwise they grow turgid, like Rapaire's flan.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 11:44 AM

For those who can't handle a full sized flan:

Flan-ette of the Apes

The Black Flan-ette.

Superman's warm and fuzzy relative: Flan-El


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 11:42 AM

I keep meaning to start a retirement flan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 11:38 AM

Anyone else loading up on that new health flan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Dec 09 - 11:33 AM

No flan is an island.


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