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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 13 Dec 09 - 06:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Dec 09 - 03:09 PM
Little Hawk 13 Dec 09 - 02:33 PM
Amos 13 Dec 09 - 02:17 PM
Amos 13 Dec 09 - 12:11 PM
Janie 13 Dec 09 - 08:20 AM
Amos 13 Dec 09 - 06:18 AM
Janie 13 Dec 09 - 12:04 AM
Acme 12 Dec 09 - 11:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 09 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 09 - 10:08 PM
Acme 12 Dec 09 - 09:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 09 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 09 - 09:17 PM
Janie 12 Dec 09 - 08:21 PM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 07:23 PM
MMario 12 Dec 09 - 05:55 PM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 05:17 PM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 05:15 PM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 05:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 09 - 03:57 PM
Acme 12 Dec 09 - 03:51 PM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 03:23 PM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 01:18 PM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 12:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 09 - 12:33 PM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 12:20 PM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 09 - 12:19 PM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 12:17 PM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 12:12 PM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 12:06 PM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 12:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 09 - 12:01 PM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 11:59 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 09 - 11:58 AM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 09 - 11:58 AM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 11:55 AM
Acme 12 Dec 09 - 11:32 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 09 - 11:12 AM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 10:42 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 09 - 10:37 AM
Acme 12 Dec 09 - 10:35 AM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 10:33 AM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 10:31 AM
Acme 12 Dec 09 - 10:26 AM
Ed T 12 Dec 09 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 09 - 09:48 AM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 09 - 06:55 AM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 12:29 AM
Amos 12 Dec 09 - 12:25 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Dec 09 - 06:02 PM

By the way, there is a planet out Antares way (though it's not a planet of Antares itself) whose inhabitants regulary visit the earth. They really hate everything about our planet except frozen turkey pot pies. Them, they love. They're not a very friendly lot, and would have probably vaporized us long ago if it weren't for the fact that Earth is the only place in the entire universe that even has frozen turkey pot pies. If there should ever be a shortage of them, we're all done for.

However, "Gref nuv yepurtnos jivnur promquernt!" does not mean "Give us all your turkey pot pies or we'll vaporize your planet!" in their language. I made that up. In reality, they have no verbal language. They communicate by smell. That's why their spaceships resemble giant aromatherapy infusers. It's also why they dislike our planet so much. They find our smell offensive. It says "Your mother is an Aldeberanian douche bag!" in their language.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Dec 09 - 03:09 PM

BS must be created by a BSer. If the content of a link is obviously created by a BSer, then it is BS. However, that doesn't necessarily make it MOAB BS.

As a general rule, BS provided by a link should either be used as a jumping off point for original BS, or as a means of enhancing original BS. There are exceptions where a piece of linked BS is so perfect that there's no way to add to it, but they're rare and should be used sparingly.

Similarly, meaningless gibberish is not generally BS. It only becomes BS within context. "Gref nuv yepurtnos jivnur promquernt!" is not BS. But when it's translated as "Give us all your turkey pot pies or we'll vaporize your planet!" it's BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 09 - 02:33 PM

Amos, my condolences on the loss of your brother.

As for the Sarah Palin/William Shatner encounter, that will go down in history as one of the most spectacular entertainment moments of all time. Unforgettable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 09 - 02:17 PM

What is BS?

This age old discussion needs to be resolved. Is it only counted if it does not come from horses? Does it have to be anonymous to qualify? Or, contrary-wise, does it have to be of known origin to be True BS?

How much fact can be included in BS without disqualifying it as true BS?

Purists argue that including links is modernism, not true BS. Counter-arguments are made that modern BS is perfectly valid BS, even with links.

What criteria should we use to arrive at a consensus and establish a universal standard for all?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 09 - 12:11 PM

They really go well together, don't they -- large-framed glowing visages riding high on renown for its own sake.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Dec 09 - 08:20 AM

Oh WOW!

Sarah Palin and William Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 09 - 06:18 AM

Thanks, guys. I am a bit hung over this morning having tried t correct the situation by using Blotto, the alcoholic obliterator, but to no avail. I really appreciate your kind feelings.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Dec 09 - 12:04 AM

I'm so sorry, Amos. The end of January will be the 20th anniversary of my older sister's death. I miss her every day.

Don't ever be embarrassed about experiencing sadness or grief. When siblings or parents die, we have lost not only some one we love, we have lost some one who is witness to significant parts of our own existence.

No BS in that, but we are family here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 11:45 PM

Leo, I hope you're feeling okay. Mudcatters across the spectrum seem to be out of sorts and some in need of medical attention this week.

But I have one burning question. . .


























Did you get to ride in an ambulance?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 10:28 PM

My sympathies as well.

I'm sure that, being Amos's brother, John was an exceptional person.

I hate the phrase "Rest in Peace". Rest is a static state, which is not what I believe death is. How about "Boogie in Peace"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 10:08 PM

And I should add my sympathy to Maggie's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 09:55 PM

Amos, I'm so sorry to read about your brother's death. If he was half as interesting and witty as you are, he was a pretty special guy.

Maggie


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 09:40 PM

Hi Mom! Guess What? I do not have any armpits any more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 09:17 PM

What?! No appendix? Do you still have a foreword, a table of contents, a bibliography, and an index?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 08:21 PM

Wondered where you were off to, Darlin' MMario. Sorry it wasn't to the Bahamas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 07:23 PM

Oh, man of Emms but not of Zees
What happened to you, if you please?
OF all the world's appendices
How is't this befalleth thee?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 05:55 PM

Hi Mom! Guess What? I do not have an appendix any more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 05:17 PM

Stilly:

Thanks for misdirecting the freds. Otherwise my fate might have been sealed!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 05:15 PM

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects!

(R.A. Heinlein)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 05:04 PM

I am subdued and embarrassingly saddened by the passage of one of the dearest men ever to speak our mother tongue, my brother John, at 3:40 this morning in Grass Valley, California. His existence was woven into the fabric of my life from childhood, and it is unsettling to have to reorganize my universe and accommodate his sudden, permanent absence. He was a thoroughly decent man, kind, intelligent, highly humorous, with a casual courageousness that proved that life was more fun and less frightening than it is reputed to be. He will be missed by scores of friends and relatives.

I am of the opinion that he is spending some time hanging out at around 80,000 feet just admiring the view and enjoying the relief from a very trying and painful year of decline. I wish him grand adventure and great success wherever he may next turn his attention.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 03:57 PM

Gee, maybe I should have said "Ed's obvious purpose here is that of a foil."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 03:51 PM

Little Hawk, you'll have to treat that errant apostrophe like a flyspeck on the page. I have a horrible head cold, I feel like shit, and probably shouldn't be sitting up and typing at all. I think I'll go take a nap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 03:23 PM

Jeeze, Ed, I think you got to takin; it all wrong. Why, you ain't had a fraction of a smithereen of the abuse I handed out to Leedle Hack and the Manne of Bookes, yet they--hidebound stalwarts both--keep carryin' on in the best Mom tradition. Why, I even made you a hero in the last Epic!! Most folks don't get that recognition until they've been in harness a year or more, and Little Hawk is still waiting.

I thank you for bringing to my attention the often overlooked sciewntrific particle Monoamine oxidase B, also known as MAOB, which is a protein which in humans is encoded by the MAOB gene.

But in the house of Mom we generally spell it t'other way by convention.

I do hope your personal pique will slip aside and you will return to these sacred halls with new vigor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 01:18 PM

"Man who is run over by car gets tired"....I'm not a sensitive type, but, detect the old unwelcome mat....that the writing on the wall is addressed to me...Tried to fit in. didn't seem work out...farwell MAOB folks....Keep posting, have fun.

"Adios amigos, no estas usted
Adios amigos, no es bueno"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:35 PM

Sorry, that one was posted before Bee-dubya-ell...pay attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:33 PM

Ed's obvious purpose here is that of a foil.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:20 PM

Why do you ask...LH?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:19 PM

What is your real purpose here, Ed?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:17 PM

Though we can't say it (at MAOB)
We might secretly think about science anyway....
a' yay


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:12 PM

Well of course MAOB is also the "killjoy" enzyme....for those who secretly like science....but were afraid to admit it aloud in the MAOB thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:06 PM

Chickadee china syndrome is common at Chinese buffets


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:03 PM

Bee-dubya-ell
My last note was confidential, fer your eyes only....so, dont share it with the others at MAOB.
I never used a PM, 'cause I don't know how to do it....'cause my pooter is one of the old pull start Russian models, with a Russian keyboard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:01 PM

I'm also of the buffet persuasion, Maggie, but most of our restaurant eating is due to being away at art fairs. That means eating out anywhere from three to five nights in a row and, while I could eat Chinese buffet five nights straight, my wife insists on some variety.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 11:59 AM

Hey Bee-dubya-ell

You say potatoes, I say carrots....I just like MAOB better...thanks for kindly asking, and for not uasing the hand " slap part" MOM stuff that often is flung like MAOB shat at the young folks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 11:58 AM

Amos, I think that your "typos" are actually reflections of what your mind is dealing with, and I think Herr Doktor Liebfraumilch or whatever his name is would agree with me. I fear that your mind is living too far in the past, as indicated by your recent "typo." Please answer the following questions so that we can contact the NYCFTTS San Diego Outreach Clinic and help you.

1. What year is it?
2. What is your full name?
3. Did you include your middle name?
4. When did man first settle on Mars?
5. What is or was your wife's great-great-grandmother's middle name before she married (if she did)?
6. What year is it now?
7. What is your full name now?
8. In what state were you born?
9. How do you feel today?
10. What is the URL, login and password to your bank account?

These questions are asked only to help you and will be kept completely confidential.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 11:58 AM

Stilly, you must be careful to avoid the incorrect use of apostrophes! It can cause others to think you are uncultured. For instance, I could have put an apostrophe in the plural of "apostrophes" and made it "aspostrophe's"...but that would have been wrong! Therefore I didn't.

Go back to your post of 12 Dec 09 - 10:26 AM and search it. You will find an apostrophe that shouldn't be there!!! (gasp!)

Let's not see that happen again, allright?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 11:55 AM

For dining enjoyment...try the heart attck grill:

http://www.wellsphere.com/healthy-cooking-article/what-in-the-world-is-heart-attack-grill/718780


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 11:32 AM

BWL, though I tend to only visit buffet type restaurants when I'm eating cheap and my kids can't make up their minds what they want, that is one good way to try new stuff. Alas, unless it's a Chinese restaurant, they rarely have buffets. This is good for the food, but it does mean you have to keep going back to try dishes.

Right now I won't waste my money on any ethnic food--I can't smell a thing, so taste has pretty well shut down with it. Moonglow had a cold last weekend when she was here, and she left enough of it behind to nail me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 11:12 AM

To clarify my comments about Mexican food...

First off, the rule actually applies to all ethnic restaurants, not just Mexican.

Stated in a nutshell, the rule is "No matter what you order at an ethnic restaurant, someone at another table will have ordered something that, when it's served, will make you wish you had ordered it instead."

Ironically, if you ask the waiter what that person ordered and order it next time, someone else will have ordered something else that will make you wish you had ordered it instead. It doesn't matter what you order, what someone else ordered will always look more interesting. Of course, there is some comfort in the fact that what you ordered will always look more interesting to someone else than what they ordered. It's a never-ending cycle.

It probably has to do with the fact that while you're waiting for your food to arrive, your food exists only as an abstraction, while the food of the person who's actually being served exists in reality and is, therefore, more immediately desirable than what you ordered. Or is that too Platonic of an explanation?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 10:42 AM

Stilly River Sage

So, MOM, OK, so slap Amos and Rapaire also....as you can see they were lead'in me on to do so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 10:37 AM

Ed, do you have MOABic dyslexia or something? It's M-O-A-B, not MAOB. It's short for Mother Of All BS Threads. What the hell's a MAOB?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 10:35 AM

BTW: Amos, did you like my "seals"? Do you think I distracted the freds sufficiently to let you continue leading your normal Southern California lifestyle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 10:33 AM

Still, the link is to the Media blog on the NYT:

http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/11/sarah-palin-to-appear-on-tonight-show-its-a-surprise/?hp

There's a video about half a page down.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 10:31 AM

A BAD example? When I cite scientific breakthroughs it is always in the interest of better BS. My family motto for generations has been In servciam merdem, scien! (Go forth and know in the service of crap!).

Rapaire, you find large faults where there is only yet another goddamn typo.

Ed: Your defense is excellent and you are acquitted forever, forgiven, shriven, blessed and double-hitched to the taffrail with a follering sea.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 10:26 AM

My browser refused to open that Palin/Shatner link. Darn. I was really really looking forward to it.

Ed, MOM want's a word with you. I know Amos is setting a bad example, but what did she tell you about putting too much real science here? There's a place for the "real" stuff. Riffs are okay, but please, respect the depth and breadth of manure we have cultivated here.

I wonder if WAV is lurking, slurping up all of this poetry? He might learn a thing or two, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 09:56 AM

From methane gas and poetic emissions
To unlikely nobles, and half-assed contritions

The truth is there's no truth at all
Just, a string of BS on a MAOB wall

Never say never in truth or in fall
As truth for one, is not truth for all

The truth is there's no truth at all
Just, a string of BS on a MAOB wall

Some "clicky" much, with fingers a'blue
No reason to declare that http's not true

The truth is there's no truth for all
Just, a string of BS on a MAOB wall

Some claim there's magic, in a post'n past
And even in posts from a horses ass :)

The truth is there's no truth at all
Just, a string of BS on a MAOB wall

The magic's in a thread's diverse
Woven of song, chatter, http and verse

The truth is there's no truth at all
Just, a string of BS on a MAOB wall

The webby land is there to use
Sometime to learn, sometime to muse

The truth is there's no truth at all
Just, a string of BS on a MAOB wall

For "http" adds flavour and even colour
And,lights up a tree for a MOAB Mother

Magic is not in what we know is true
Illusion not logic is a magic's glue

So, for MOAB joy hold onto your horse
Take the ants from your pants
And post till your' hoarse

The truth is there's no truth at all
Just, a string of BS on a MAOB wall


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 09:48 AM

Amos is living in the past again, I see. Sad...such a mind living 10,000 posts past. He'll be using buttonhooks to fasten his spats before he puts on his derby to stroll out, walking stick in hand, to stroll down the boulevard to his club. And the same policeman will again arrest him, for spats, derby, and walking stick do not constitute strolling dress even in San Diego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 06:55 AM

Holy SHIT!!! Sarah Palin out-shatted the Shatman!

I knew that woman had genius.

Maybe she will get elected president after all.

Hey, Amos! Get up, you sluggard. Day has broken (sort of...well, actually I don't think the sun will be up for another 45 minutes or so...), and the most optimistic birdies are singing to the approaching dawn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:29 AM

22101


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 12:25 AM

The Shat goes up against Moosehead Palin...and loses.


A


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