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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 30 Mar 09 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 09:59 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 09:36 PM
Janie 30 Mar 09 - 09:29 PM
Janie 30 Mar 09 - 09:17 PM
Janie 30 Mar 09 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 09:12 PM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 03:28 PM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 03:12 PM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 01:46 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 01:40 PM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 01:03 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 11:29 AM
Acme 30 Mar 09 - 10:32 AM
Rapparee 30 Mar 09 - 08:37 AM
Amos 30 Mar 09 - 04:56 AM
Amos 29 Mar 09 - 11:49 PM
Amos 29 Mar 09 - 11:43 PM
Acme 29 Mar 09 - 11:29 PM
Janie 29 Mar 09 - 11:14 PM
Amos 29 Mar 09 - 11:12 PM
Janie 29 Mar 09 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 09 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 09 - 09:42 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 09 - 01:53 PM
Amos 29 Mar 09 - 01:50 PM
Acme 29 Mar 09 - 01:47 PM
Amos 29 Mar 09 - 12:18 PM
Janie 29 Mar 09 - 12:17 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 09 - 12:05 PM
Amos 29 Mar 09 - 11:38 AM
Janie 29 Mar 09 - 09:31 AM
Amos 29 Mar 09 - 01:04 AM
Rapparee 28 Mar 09 - 09:55 PM
Amos 28 Mar 09 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 09 - 02:54 PM
Amos 28 Mar 09 - 01:43 PM
Amos 28 Mar 09 - 01:26 PM
Acme 28 Mar 09 - 12:51 PM
Janie 28 Mar 09 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 28 Mar 09 - 09:29 AM
Acme 28 Mar 09 - 12:54 AM
Acme 28 Mar 09 - 12:42 AM
Janie 27 Mar 09 - 06:26 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 09 - 04:52 PM
Amos 27 Mar 09 - 04:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 09 - 03:50 PM
Amos 27 Mar 09 - 03:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 10:31 PM

I'm in!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 10:03 PM

Oh, yeah. In the spirit of MOAB you can play or sing or whatever in whatever key, tempo, or range you'd like. In fact you don't even have to do the same piece.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:59 PM

Now, I'm thinking about forming a mucilagical group. Everyone who posts to dear old MOAB is invited to join whether you can play an instrument or sing or just hum along.

The name of this group WAS going to be "The Stinky Bottom Boys" but that won't work, so with your kind permission I think it should be called "The Stinky Bottom Kids" or "The Stinky Bottom Siblings." The latter has nice alliteration in it.

Now, I play the trumpet, sort of, and Amos plays something with strings which he claims is a guitar, but I suspect it's a banjo in disguise. MMario, of course, plays the lute; Bee-Dubya plays with himself. Janie can play the kazoo and Stilly can play the drums (every band needs drums and you don't have to be good, just loud). Or however y'all want to work it out. I'm pretty easy about it.

Watcha think, if you do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:36 PM

That's alright, Janie. Amos doesn't know Latin either. Back in the ol' 'hood, our motto was "Veritas Lux Mea" (The Truth Enlightens Me); Amos' seems to have been either "Da mihi sis bubulae frustrum assae, solana tuberosa in modo Gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum" or "Merda taurorum animas conturbit."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:29 PM

And tonight is my very lucky night. According to a website I just visited looking for news about bright lights and an explosion heavily reported along the Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina coasts last night. (probably a meteor or "space junk)" according to preliminary reports), I am the 100,000th visitor from Mebane to visit one site, which might entitle me to all kinds of free things and a million dollars, or at least a new laptop, if only I will click on the loudly flashing green and red box.

That's pretty impressive considering the population of Mebane is about 10,000, and probably no more than 70% of it's households have computers, so, how many households equals a population of 10,000? Generously, 4 to 6,000?

But I'm feeling unlucky and very unsubliminal tonight, so will forego clicking on the beautitiously flashing box.

As for the lights and bang, I suspect Gluon was chasing a quarkish, quarrelsome cat, who turned and nailed him when it had enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:17 PM

This ignorant hillbilly don't like "you people" speaking in tongues. Makes me paranoid. You just gotta be sayin' bad things about me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:16 PM

All you lackadaisial layabouts, frittering away your time at work today, while moi was busy, busy, busy....some of it was good work with clients - but most of it was romancing charts for beaurocrats.

We don't get paid if *shudder* the i's are not all dotted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 09:12 PM

Quod erat demonstrandum, I presume you mean? Remember: Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 04:15 PM

Quod erat demonstrarum, old fruit.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 03:28 PM

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base,   Greenland, at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he
discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last
flight. So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.

The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the
hangar, which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as not to risk riticism later.

As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, 'Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished.' Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands tall and says, 'Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in
Thule, Greenland, for 11 months without any leave, and reindeers'
asses are beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it's 2:30 in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump shit out of an aircraft. Now, just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 03:12 PM

But, not to be overly harsh, we must allow that some of our best BS work is born in the overheated smelly kettle of Rapaire's narcissism. SO let her rock on, sez I!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 01:46 PM

Right, just as I suspected.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 01:40 PM

Ad majorem mea gloriam, as we used to say back in the 'hood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 01:03 PM

All for the greater glory of...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 11:29 AM

Oh, wait. Sorry. I donated it to the NYCFTTS and a home for retired Trappist nuns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 10:32 AM

I sure as hell don't have it! Check with your bank. Maybe they're keeping it in a special account for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 08:37 AM

WELL! Then how is it that MY pay is nowhere NEAR eight figures?? I'M about as narcissistic as a shy kid from the Great Midwest can get! WHERE'S MY MONEY?????????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 09 - 04:56 AM

"Management consultant Michael Maccoby studied narcissistic bosses for his book, The Productive Narcissist: The Promise and Peril of Visionary Leadership. He makes a distinction between leaders with narcissistic traits and those who have full-blown NPD. He says narcissists can be charismatic forces for change—because of their drive, vision, risk-taking, and even ruthlessness, many corporations turn to narcissists for salvation. But such people can become dangerous because their success fuels their already ample grandiosity and feeds the sense they got there by disdaining the normal rules. Maccoby says those working for or doing business with a narcissist have to be careful not be drawn into crossing legal and ethical lines. A good example is Blagojevich, who seemed to have a rare ability to taint almost anyone who took his phone calls. Twenge and Campbell cite studies which show that narcissistic bosses produce volatile results. Their boldness can lead to big short-term success but long-term disaster.
If the observers who say that part of our economic troubles result from a mass case of narcissism, from consumers who thought they should have the house of their dreams financed on bad debt to bankers who thought they deserved eight-figure bonuses for packaging that bad debt, then perhaps we are about to be cured. Twenge and Campbell point out that the 1920s was a narcissistic era whose economic collapse led to the Great Depression and the greatest generation. Perhaps it's time to dig out those Depression-era recipes for humble pie."


Slate on Narccissistic Personality Disorder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:49 PM

SOUTH: NO. 1 NORTH CAROLINA 72, NO. 2 OKLAHOMA 60
Tar Heels Overcome Sooners' One-Man Show
By JOHN BRANCH 2 minutes ago

Ty Lawson scored 19 points and Danny Green added 18 to lead the Tar Heels to a win over Blake Griffin and Oklahoma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:43 PM

Well, it's all a matter of which map you read. THis is Arcturian summer, for example. But even here in San Diego we are being betrayed. Today the sun only came out once all day; the rest of the day was a chilly 65 degrees F.

We went to the Zoo with my lovely niece, the mosaic artist, and stopped by the Museum of Man in Balboa Park where she was part of a show. Lovely stuff, both venues. In the Zoo, the gorillas were hacking around, the elephants were playful, and the baby giraffe was nursing. Even the warthogs looked amicable.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:29 PM

Bleh, it's almost April!

That's what I thought. But we had snow flurries in our forecast a couple of nights ago, and a couple of feet accumulation in Amarillo.

Bizarre. Feels like an early April Fool's joke, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:14 PM

Blizzard?

Bleh, it's almost April!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:12 PM

Blessed be the SYmbols who are deprived,
For their maps shall lead beyond all Territory.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 10:51 PM

Go Tarheels!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 10:26 PM

By the way, Mom -- blizzard (!!) warning until midnight...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:42 PM

I, my very own self, have a depraved symbol.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 01:53 PM

I knew a guy in band who had a deprived symbol. He'd lost the other one, see, and....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 01:50 PM

I tolja and tolja an tolja Spring was coming.


28360!





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 01:47 PM

It's gorgeous outside. About time!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 12:18 PM

Ah--so THAT'S what happens to the ones who don't get bid on at auction. Poor guys. Imagine, believing you are a work of art, and at the end of your days, to be served as a pretended steak instead of admired for your artistic merit. Never realizing through all your long years that you are, in fact, not a genuine entity to begin with!! Poor, deprived Symbol!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 12:17 PM

Think how many more people could bid if they do possums next time - and how much more money they could raise. Even the common man can afford a possum.

I didn't know they served possum at steakhouses. I think I've been overcharged.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 12:05 PM

I take it you've never eaten in some of the steak joints I have, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:38 AM

Yes indeed. Even if you made them twice life-size you could sprinkle hundreds around town.

It seems the cows are supplied (as fiberglass blank cows) to the artists gratis, and when the artistry and the exhibit is done they are auctioned off to various people who have the money and the peculiar mindset required to bid on them;' the funds then support charities. A good purpose for a fiberglass cow, whose very existence is problematical in the first place....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:31 AM

Well then, how 'bout possums next time?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 01:04 AM

There were a few of the fiberglass cows that had cow chips. The use of pigs, according to one who has seen both, is much less inspiring.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 09:55 PM

Cincinnati did it with pigs about eight or nine years ago. You should go looking for pigs.

Pocatello is going to do it with cow chips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 08:34 PM

Well, now it is.

In other news, we spent the afternoon wandering the sun-blessed, bejewelled city of La Jolla in search of the Fiberglass Art Cows that are currently meandering thrugh the whole town at odd corners and lots. There are subtle ones and loud ones, clever ones and pedestrian ones--all the same basic Cow, but transformed by individual artists.

We found about twenty or so, I think.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 02:54 PM

Hell, that's what I thought Cinco de Mayo was all about, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 01:43 PM

Subject: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu - PM
Date: 05 May 03 - 08:31 PM

Another brainstorm of mine, inspired by Tweed, Spaw, Carol the Sailor and their ilk.

We can save time which we spend searching through all the BS threads very easily. Henceforth, post all BS here in this thread. Soon there will be only one BS thread. We won't have to look for particular threads as this will be the only one and it will contain all the BS we have to offer.

My Gawd!! Why has this not been thought of earlier? It is so obvious!

I swear, sometimes I even amaze myself!

(Khandu, Founder of the MOAB)


It is almost six years since Mom first appeared to salvage the weary ruins of a moribund Mudcat and assuage the fretful pluckings of her faithful followers.

In six years, she has not once dropped off the front page of the forum (using default settings) as far as I know.

This is an awesome accomplishment, and, indeed, a resounding responsibility for those who have borne the burdens, fought the battles, written the posts, worn their fingerpads to the knuckle, and strained their brains coming up with BS for Mom to turn into floating joy and sparkling renewal for Mudcatters everywhere.

Here in Mudcatlandia, we should have a National--no INTERNational holiday on Cinco de Mayo to celebrate the Birth of Mom and the Ascendance of Khandu.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 01:26 PM

Wit Gluon's help and her intrinsic pan-existential nature, Mom can hang out on the Texas porch while enjoying space-time conditions in the Bahamas, simultaneously.

Food-finding is an odd art. I have seen persons pursuing it by rummaging through trash cans, and pursuing it through smelling stalks and leaves, and pursuing it by delicately wandering through the Yellow Pages, and pursuing it electronically on Google and iPhone applications, not t mention through the age-honored method of gossiping about where Food is to be Found.

It is probably the greatest indoor sport in the world. Some find Food by loping barefoot through the hinterlands, others by squeezing packets wrapped in cellophane, others by peering interminably into the refrigerator or pantry, or poring over the crap-racks in the 7-11.

No wonder we have so many words for shit in our language--just think how much time and trouble we go to to produce it!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 12:51 PM

The only food I know how to find there (so far) is a food court across the street in an underground mall. I'll ask Moonglow if there is any decent food in the area. :)

There are lots of possiblities, I'm sure. Yes, we can do that!

Janie, its effing-snowing in Texas this weekend. Better get a quilt or down comforter to wrap around MOM if she still plans to hang out on the porch today. On the Texas porch, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 09:35 AM

Remember, Rapaire, don't mess with Texas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 09:29 AM

Dinner, perhaps?

I can find time to meet a Mudcatter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 12:54 AM

Moonglow tells me (via text on my cell phone) that the Sheraton bought out the Adams Mark. So this is the hotel I've been to many times. The ONLY destination I know how to get to in Dallas other than Love Field and OUR RAPAIRE is going there! What are the odds! (And I can take the train and the tram to get there! Cool!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 12:42 AM

Good ol' Google

Customers of Dynix, Inc.

and

Unicorn Users Group International

They seem to have your time filled.

There is only one hotel in downtown Dallas that I know for sure how to find, and amazingly, across the street from this one. I think. My kids (remember the remark about a convention they attend) is always across the street at the Adam's Mark. But I think they might be the same thing--I think they have a pedestrian bridge a couple of floors up, and events spill over between the two.

On another note, I pulled a CD out of the copious number on my kitchen table and was pleased to find that I finally own a copy of Saint Saëns' Symphony No. 3 (the organ symphony, the fourth movement was a theme in the film Babe). I've been wanting this for AGES, but I'd have had to spend $15 or $20 to get it.) And now I have it and 299+ of its friends to enjoy. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 27 Mar 09 - 06:26 PM

Rain, rain, and more rain. (Ah, I can hear those water tables replenishing, even as I type.) Spent the day in Greensboro picking up CEU's. I hate driving on a 6 lane freeway when it is raining at a pretty good clip. Oh well. better to crawl passed all the wrecks than to participate in them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 09 - 04:52 PM

Better than that UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGI bunch we're meeting with.

The two groups, actually, are combining and will be known after this as COSUGI. This name reminds me of how we used to call pigs back in The Great Midwest: coSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUgi!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 09 - 04:40 PM

You're going to a conference on the Certicate of Deposits Index?

Isn't that a bit out of your field?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 09 - 03:50 PM

Why I'm gonna go ta Dallas....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 09 - 03:12 PM

Congratulations on your discovery and timely snatching up thereof.

A


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