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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 25 Feb 09 - 01:49 PM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 12:36 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:48 AM
Acme 25 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 09 - 09:22 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 25 Feb 09 - 02:01 AM
Amos 25 Feb 09 - 01:12 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 10:50 PM
Acme 24 Feb 09 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 09:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM
Amos 24 Feb 09 - 08:55 PM
Janie 24 Feb 09 - 08:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 09 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 08:11 PM
Little Hawk 24 Feb 09 - 07:15 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 06:25 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 06:19 PM
Amos 24 Feb 09 - 06:17 PM
gnu 24 Feb 09 - 06:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 09 - 06:08 PM
Amos 24 Feb 09 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 04:13 PM
MMario 24 Feb 09 - 03:57 PM
Amos 24 Feb 09 - 02:55 PM
gnu 24 Feb 09 - 02:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 09 - 02:35 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 02:31 PM
Amos 24 Feb 09 - 02:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 01:54 PM
Acme 24 Feb 09 - 01:08 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 12:48 PM
Amos 24 Feb 09 - 12:08 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 11:52 AM
Amos 24 Feb 09 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 09 - 09:17 AM
Acme 24 Feb 09 - 01:09 AM
Janie 24 Feb 09 - 12:01 AM
Amos 23 Feb 09 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 09 - 04:33 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 09 - 04:07 PM
MMario 23 Feb 09 - 04:06 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 01:49 PM

110! Why - we could probably manage that in an hour, with a little effort. Lessee, counting each of LH's various facets, except shatnerd that would probably only be less then 3.14159 posts each!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 12:36 PM

We are only 110 posts away from the 28K line. Twenty-eight thousand posts!!!!

Such sheer determination, and volume, is unknown in all of Mudcat history.

The men and women of the MOAB have given new meaning to the concept of BS artistry. They are BS heroes, one and all. They have proven to the world what a dedicated small group of people, fueled by One Good Idea, can do.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 10:53 AM

On the way into the Library, with the Friends membership drive table out front.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 10:40 AM

The recent chimpanzee attack in Stamford, Conn., was a tragedy for the woman who was horribly mauled. It was also a reminder that primates should not keep other primates as pets. The obvious reason is the danger involved. No matter how tame they may sometimes appear, chimpanzees are vastly stronger than most people realize. And no matter how socialized a chimpanzee seems, it is still in exile from its kind, its way of being.

The New York TImes has decreed: primates should not keep other primates as pets.

But I think this is one of those policies that sounds good on the surface, yet is fraught with unintended and distressing consequences.

Many marriages are put at risk thereby, not to mention videotape and DVD rentals of Planet of the Apes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:48 AM

Ah, Bee-Dub, that picture was taken last week. Just look at those gas lights! We are Thoroughly Modern.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:41 AM

Great card catalog there, Rap.

Amazing how difficult it can be to misspell a post. That was a work of art.

My work will become easier today, because they're giving me a laptop for work. But that means one more thing I have to haul back and forth when I go over there. [sigh] Add this case to the camera bag and case for whatever paperwork I'm working on, and my regular shoulder pack (or pocketbook) and I look like a bag lady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM

Wow, Rapaire, you cut quite a dashing figure in your younger days!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:35 AM

Usually there are people of one sort or another in my office. Staff, mostly, but sometimes I have to talk to a sales rep or, less frequently now, execute someone. We used to draw and quarter them and put their heads up on spikes over the doors, but now we find it more efficient to simply shoot them in the back of head and impale the bodies (a la Vlad Tepes) along the walks to the building and along the edges of the parking lots. This has reduced overdues, fines are paid on time, and the theft of materials has gone way, way down. And we're saving lots of postage money since we no longer have to mail out overdue notices!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 09:22 AM

You're right,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 02:01 AM

NEVER trsut a flippin' Libarrian! They ain't bearly human, eh? You got basicaly 2 kinds of Libarrians out there.

1. Friggid and mean spinnster type wommen that wear weerd glasses and have their flippin' hair tyed back in a bun and got a mean look on their face that would kerdle milk and turn a flippin' pit bull to stone!

2. Weerd old guys in messy suits that are, like, 50 years outta date and they got, like, wild hair that is white or grey and ain't been kombbed in days, and they yewshally smoke a pipe on there brake outside when they go to the flippin' bench and sit with there flippin' Lattay and try to pick up the young girls by actin' like they are some kinda innalecchual brains or somethin'. And they wear them horned rimmed glasses with a strap around their head so's they don't fall off! These are MAJOR loosers I'm talkin' about! MAJOR! They been tryin' to impress girls with the book readin' act since they was 12 years old and it never worked yet, so they are probally all STILL virgins and horny as hell! Buncha flippin' perverts! They otta be locked up.

I figger Rapaire fer the flippin' porto-type of yer standard male Libarrian. You could use him as a example of the breed and send him arowned the cuntry to warn off people of how bad these guys are and so young girls would stay away from the flippin' Libarries and go to the bars and hotels instead where they are safe and among good desent people, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 09 - 01:12 AM

The unWASHED, sirrah???

Fie. Such condescension merits the Curse of the BS: May the milch of a thousand cowes backe intoe youre sinuses.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:50 PM

If underlings do not, the boss is no boss.

My job is to make it possible for the unwashed to do their jobs well. That makes my job easier.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:38 PM

Just so you know who's really in charge. :)

The man who is my boss has had three different jobs here since I started. When he was selected as Dean of the Library, I remember stopping in his doorway one day (while he was still associate director) and asking "when you're Dean, will I still report directly to you, or to one of the others up here?" Contemplating the possible outcomes of working for one of the others was a rich image, with various possible outcomes.

After a silent pause, I concluded "I think I'll keep reporting to you."

And that was it. Sometimes underlings do have a say in these matters. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:26 PM

Drop a line through the middle of the "8" and spin the number around on this axis.

My office (at work) consists of a poor, overburdened desk, an older four-drawer wooden file cabinet (also burdened with papers), and a small bookcase upon which my computer (and more papers) sits. On the wall are framed diplomas and other pieces of amusement, including a rubbing of Shakespeare's epitath and an icon of Michael the Archangel. I have a six-shot, single action, nerf gun in a desk drawer; it was given to me by my staff as a birthday present and it provides amusement for children. My office is L-shaped; down the other leg of the L are kept what we laughingly call "the archives", which include the police records from 1916 to 1991.

There are no weapons there; they are not needed. I can dominate by sheer force of will, as a young man (18) found out today -- and then I lightened up when he apologized to my staff for calling them nasty names. I was supposed to be intimidated when he said, "I'm going to get a f-----g lawyer" but I said, "Go ahead...and watch your language." He was also put off-balance when he said, "But what do I tell my friends?" and I replied immediately "That's not my problem." To get the full impact of this (which I admit was acting on my part) imagine trying explain to John Wayne, playing a Marine Corps Drill Instructor, why your rifle isn't yet white-glove clean.

As for my staff being stifled by me -- today they convinced me not to bar said young man from the building for six months, told me that we were going to get a new on-line service, and in general tell me to go to hell on regular basis (when they aren't doing something themselves and will let me know what was decided later. Remember, last July 13 I walked DOWNRANGE, unarmed, with six of my supervisors, armed with pistols, behind me.

They wouldn't have DARED....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM

Last summer he ran a library intern through with one of that forbidding collection of swords he keeps at the ready on a rack by the wall.

So that's what the industrial-sized heavy-duty paper shredder over in the corner of Rapaire's office is for! Dispatch 'em with the ol' epee an' feed 'em through the Shredomatic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 08:55 PM

WHen you are all powerful, you are by necessity easily amused, I guess.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 08:53 PM

I can just see him, there in his office, pounding furiously on the keyboard set atop the rich mahogany desk, the top of which is artfully strewn with nearly everything found for a desk assessory in Levenger's.

There is a sign hanging on the doorknob warning those who might dare distract him from his important and overburdening work of running the best little library in Pocatello, Pocetellico, Portico, Portly Cello, or whatever the name of that little burg is. It says, "Enter at Your Own Risk."

His staff takes that sign seriously. Last summer he ran a library intern through with one of that forbidding collection of swords he keeps at the ready on a rack by the wall.

He thinks they think he is in there hard at work, administrating away on library matters.

They keep their mouths shut about what they know. They need their jobs.



And they are well aware he think's he is God.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 08:34 PM

Please explain how 27872 is a "horizontal spinner". How is that different from a pinwheel? It must be different from a pinwheel because it certainly is not a pinwheel. The next pinwheel number on the MOAB will be 60009. Is "horizontal spinner" some sort of Rapairian conceit that only trumpet players can grasp?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 08:11 PM

A numeric palindrome AND a horizontal spinner!

Wheeeeeeeeee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:15 PM

Boy, what a blockhead you are. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:00 PM

27872


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM

I have just reached


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM

there's this:


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM

And, of course,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:25 PM

Here's a neat video of worms in a tender embrace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:19 PM

Just think: earthworms are hermaphrodites: They have 2 pairs of testes, surrounded by 2 pairs of testes sacs. There are 2 pairs of seminal vesicles which produce, store and release the sperm via the male pores, and ovaries and ovipores that release eggs via female pores. However, most also have one or more pairs of spermathecae (depending on the species) that are internal sacs which receive and store sperm from the other worm in copulation. Some species use external spermatophores for transfer instead.

The male reproductive organs consist of two pairs of testes, present ventro-laterally in the 10th and 11th segments. Each testis is made up of 4 to 8 processes containing spermatogonia. Each testis is enclosed in a pair of testes sacs which are filled with fluid. It is bilobed in the front and on the posterior side provided with a pair of ciliated spermaducal funnels, one on either side. Two pairs of seminal vesicles are present in the 11th and 12th segments which collect the sperm fluid. The testes sac of the tenth segment opens in the seminal vesicle of the 11th segment and testis sac of the 11th segment opens into the seminal vesicle of the 12th segment.

The sperm mother cells of the testes when shed offreach the seminal vesicle where they mature into sperms and then again passed into testes. Sperms from the testes are passed into the spermiducal funnels which lead into vas deferens. A pair of vasa deferentia on either side of nerve cord runs from the 12th segment to prostate region and opens out together with the prostate duct in the 18th segment as male genital aperture. The prostate is a large irregular gland present from the 16th to 20th or the 17th to 21st segments on either side, and it produces the prostate fluid. In the 17th and 19th segments each is found a pair of rounded, white fluffy masses, the accossory glands. These glands are present on ventro-lateral bodywall, one on either side of the nerve cord. They open to the exterior by a number of ducts in two pairs of genital pappillae, situated externally on either side of the mid-ventral line.

The female reproductive organs consist of a pair of ovaries, a pair of oviducts and four pairs of spermathecae.The ovaries are a pair of small, whitish, lobed structures, attached to the hinder face of the septum of the 12/13 segment, one on each side of the nerve cord.Each ovary has mature ova towards distal end and immature towards septal side.Each oviducal funnel leads into oviduct which opens outside in the 14th segment in the form of a common oviducal aperture.The four pairs of spermathecae are found on either side of the nerve cord in the 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th segments.Each spermathecae has two parts, a sac like structure, ampulla and a short diverticulum.The diverticulum stores the sperms while ampulla provides a nourishing fluid to them.These spermathecae open outside the bodyby four pairs of apertures one on either ventro-lateral sides of each segmental joint, i.e a pair in the 5-6, 6-7, 7-8, 8-9th segments.The mature ova shed from the ovaries, pass through the oviducal funnels into the oviduct and finally to the exterior through the female genital pore. Copulation and reproduction are separate processes in earthworms. The mating pair overlap front ends ventrally and each exchanges sperm with the other. The clitellum becomes very reddish to pinkish in color. The cocoon, or egg case, is secreted by the clitellum band which is near the front of the worm, but behind the spermathecae. Some time after copulation, long after the worms have separated, the clitellum secretes the cocoon which forms a ring around the worm. The worm then backs out of the ring, and as it does so, injects its own eggs and the other worm's sperm into it. As the worm slips out, the ends of the cocoon seal to form a vaguely lemon-shaped incubator (cocoon) in which the embryonic worms develop. They emerge as small, but fully formed earthworms, except for a lack of the sex structures, which develop later in about 60 to 90 days. They attain full size in about one year. Several common earthworm species are mostly parthenogenetic, that is, with asexual reproduction resulting in clones.

Isn't that fascinating?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:17 PM

You'll have to start a new thread for that, Gnu. This is a BS thread, not a HS thread.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:15 PM

Horseshit. Minds me of why the grass is so green and thick at the back of my yard. Bought this house next to the house I grew up in. I recall spreading and turning horseshit in the garden when I was a lad. And, the guy that owned this house didn't buy the good stuff. He bought the fresh stuff... with the big green flies hatching with every fork full.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:08 PM

Well... Actually it's only 280# for $10.00. I forgot it comes on 40# bags, not 50#. But, yes, we can catch "compost with cow manure" on sale at the right time (like spring planting season) for $1.39 a bag at the home center stores. It's not the GOOD stuff like Black Kow, but it's also not Black Kow's price of $4.50 a bag. And it may only be 5% cow manure and 95% dirt for all I know. I don't care any more. I have a good source for free horse manure now. I still buy some Black Hen (Black Kow's chicken derived compatriot) for an extra nitrogen boost if needed. I don't know any chicken farmers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:07 PM

Quite so. Especiall when you need good bait.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 04:13 PM

Did anyone ever notice the glory and miracle of worms? I mean plain old earthworms and angleworms, not those fancy flatworms or planaria.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 03:57 PM

350 lbs for $10?

It's $4.50 for a twenty pound bag around here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 02:55 PM

There's no question that Rapaire qualifies; his BS is among the best to be found when not sought in any corner ofthe cyber-universe, at least around Mom's place.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 02:45 PM

Good bullshit at a cheap price. Not every day you find that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 02:35 PM

If Rapaire is out of print, maybe Max can obtain the publishing rights for $1.00, contract with some cut-rate printer in Thailand to have copies produced at a net cost of 25˘ each, and sell them to other Mudcatters for $10.00 a pop....

Aw, nevermind... Who'd pay $10.00 for a copy of Rapaire? Heck, you can get 350 pounds (seven 50# bags) of cow manure for $10.00 at Home Depot and you don't even have to wait for it to finish composting!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 02:31 PM

Amos, the fact that it is an assertion is true. Whether the content is truthful is another matter.

(We philosphers and Presidents like to split hares.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 02:00 PM

The existence of a book, asserting something, is not prima facie, evidence that it is a true assertion.

You've never heard of a book called The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, or a book called Guilty: Liberal Victims and Their Assault on America, I take it? Or, how about The Olde Testamente???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 01:54 PM

So am I. I'm completely out of print. Even my printing press is out of print. I had to borrow the print for this posting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 01:08 PM

Most of the revisions of that book are out of print.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 12:48 PM

You've never heard of the book "Our Bodies, Ourselves" have you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 12:08 PM

I think the semantic equivalence between "self" and "body" may be the fundamental bug in your system, there, old pal. There are a good many important differences. WHile the two are important system components and may be concatenated, they should not be confabulated.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 11:52 AM

Considering that the Republicans have inhabited San Diego from before the last Ice Age to the present I think that Amos would have first-hand knowledge of that.

I, myself, me, am apolitical. I work only for the Greatest Good For the Greatest Number, as my hero Jeremy Bentham taught. If I grow up I want to be just like him -- stuffed and kept in a cabinet at University College London. That's because the nuns who taught me in grade school said that my body was a Pure Temple and I could give no higher gift than myself and so I should "save myself for marriage" but I asked my wife and she said she doesn't want me around after I die (if I do).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:27 AM

Well, when all other possibilities are ruled out, consider the improbable.

Or consider creating a better memory. You could have that most paradoxical of elements, a solipsist's memory bank, complete with a full record of all the creations of everyone and everything that bothers you. What power!! As any Republican knows, it is much more interesting, sportsmanlike and valuable to modify the pictures recording an event than to try and manage the event itself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 09:17 AM

I don't remember creating Max, but I must have. There is no other explanation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 01:09 AM

No. Because he blinked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 12:01 AM

Nite nite, Mom. Sweet dreams. I've brought you an extra blanket as it is going to be a bit more chilly tonight.

If Max is the only poster to all of Mudcat, does that make him the Father of all BS?

Would it be accurate to say we are all his fault?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 09 - 04:39 PM

And this year's Academey "Astaire Award" for the most impressive tap-dancing for no good reason goes to.....the envelope, please...(loud ripping sound)....that was NOT me, folks. I think it was the librarian...




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 09 - 04:33 PM

I knew you'd say that. Winona Ryder and William Shatner..."together"...I told you about disgusting....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 09 - 04:07 PM

Humph. I am not impressed by your pathetic attempts at evasion. I am going to cease worshipping you and go back to Winona Ryder and William Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Feb 09 - 04:06 PM

And our/your subconscious lies to you/us all the time, so which of us/you are you/we suppossed to believe when we/you disagree about what you/we/they have done?


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