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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 01 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 10:47 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 07:25 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 07:21 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 07:16 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 07:12 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jul 08 - 06:19 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 06:14 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jul 08 - 05:32 PM
Acme 01 Jul 08 - 05:31 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 04:55 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jul 08 - 01:45 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 01:40 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jul 08 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 12:43 PM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 11:40 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 11:29 AM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 11:19 AM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 10:14 AM
MMario 01 Jul 08 - 10:05 AM
Acme 01 Jul 08 - 10:01 AM
Amos 01 Jul 08 - 09:45 AM
Rapparee 01 Jul 08 - 08:36 AM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 11:59 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jun 08 - 11:24 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 08 - 08:32 PM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 07:43 PM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 07:29 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 08 - 05:44 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jun 08 - 04:47 PM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 04:25 PM
Acme 30 Jun 08 - 03:59 PM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 02:40 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jun 08 - 01:49 PM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 01:23 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jun 08 - 01:13 PM
MMario 30 Jun 08 - 01:09 PM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 01:08 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 08 - 01:03 PM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 12:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jun 08 - 12:50 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 08 - 12:30 PM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 12:15 PM
MMario 30 Jun 08 - 10:14 AM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 10:12 AM
MMario 30 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM
Amos 30 Jun 08 - 09:43 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM

Even if youre feelin' scratchy
ANd you do the wicky-wahtchee
It won't chase a thing,
'Cuz this is what we sing:

Yes! We have no Apache
No Apache in Old Idaho!
Yes! We have no APache!
We just don't have any, you know!

We've Shoshone....baloneyQ, they're too hard to shoot!
We got Bannock, Nex PercŽ, Blackfeet and Paiute! But

Yes! We have no Apache!

We have no Apache, you know!

(Cowboy Bookman dances sideways off stage left, waving his big white felt Stetson and shaking his spurs and bandanna in time. His horse dances alongside on its rear legs, grinning and tapping its hooves in rhythm. Music fades, lights fade, curtain comes down, alleged crowd goes wild.))


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 11:02 PM

Oooh!! Somebody googled! Somebody gogled!! LOL!

I think that particular expression is common to all three of those.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:48 PM

Besides, are you talking White Mountain, Jicarilla, Chiricaua or what??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:47 PM

Ain't no Apaches around here. Ute, Paiute, Shoshone, Bannock, Nez Perce, Blackfeet and a bunch of others, but no Apache.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:23 PM

I would not expect a Bookmeister from IDaho to know how to spell the APache dialect.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 07:25 PM

No, that was "Whomp 'em! Whomp 'em! Whomp 'em!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 07:21 PM

And as the sun slowly set in the West, the plains shuddered to the sound of the steady rhythm: "Wampum..wampum..wampum.."...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 07:16 PM

Out on the rez they dance to teepeed tunes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 07:12 PM

I feel like I am watching Sesame Street, where the inane from reality meet the insane from fiction and they all dance to tepid tunes.

And a VUN and a TWO.....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 06:19 PM

Shane is planning to eliminate Rapaire permanently when he gets out of jail, Amos. Maybe you should forward a contribution toward his bail. Send it to Don McBride in Blind River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 06:14 PM

Well the surfing did not in any way inspire me to pee myself, so it is just as well your perfervid imagination, into which I shall not further enquire, was duly bridled in this case.

And to be completely, excessively frank, even the vision of a rabid Beaver ploting ultimate revenge on my naked soul does not perturb my bladder, or my urinary sphincter, in the least.

Now, Rapaire, with his mega-arsenal and his dedication to the fine art of human slaughter disguised as mild-mannered bibliophilia---that scares me some. But I won't let it lead me to peeing until I am among his treasured stacks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 05:32 PM

Nothing like a little humour for Canada Day, eh? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 05:31 PM

Funny, I wouldn't have thought this would make you pee yourself. I actually edited my remarks the other day about your kayak surfing trip--THAT'S when I could see you peeing on yourself and I initially wrote about it. But decided I didn't want to embarrass you. :)

In 1958 I was three for most of the year, then turned four.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 04:55 PM

ROFLMAO!! Oh, darn, I gave them all away!! I am naked in your crosshairs!! Terror!!! Panic!!! Oh, WOE!!! LOL!!!


I am sooo scared I think I shall pee myself. Or maybe it was the laughing...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 01:45 PM

LOL!

Well, thank you for the fullsome reaction.

No, the official Shock and Awe thing has not yet begun. I was just doing some preliminary recon missions to check out your defences.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 01:40 PM

That's it??? IS that your stunning, sweeping, irrefutable rhetorical blow? This is you verbal shock and awe??????

Mmmf.

Hummmm,,,,mffff. Ha.

Ummmmm...ok....mmmmwwmmmf...haha...mmmf. pppphhhhhhtttt....


MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Oh, I am...lesseee....DESTROYED!! I am....lemme think here...EMULSIFIED!!! SHATTERED!!! BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS.mmmmf...wwffff....mwha...mwahaha...

Mmmmffff...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Oh, good one, Sir Hawk.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 01:33 PM

Amos, if most people had to look at what you do in the mirror each morning just after rising, then they would truly know the meaning of suffering!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:43 PM

Hey. In 1958 I was also 13 years old (I think that's how the math works out anyway).

You insultin' me? You insultin' me? You dissin' me? Huh? You lookin' for trouble?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 11:40 AM

ALways quick to grasp the important part, eh, Sir Emm?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 11:29 AM

Amos you old fart - you're an older fart then I thought you was!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 11:19 AM

I was thirteen years old in May of 1958. AT that time, ALdous Huxley, the author of Brave New World, the most insightful examination of propoganda, double-think, newspeak, and the reframing of history ever seen, was on television with the remarkable interviewer, Mike Wallace.

In that interview Huxley very adroitly described the dangers to individual freedom brought about by the abuse of media and the art of media manipulation to bring about a regime of concentrated power.

The interview is here in the U. of Texas archives.

One page up on the site is an amazing collection of interviews by Wallace of all the major luminaries and other salient figures of the 1950s. It is a cultural treasure trove. It includes transcripts, video and audio files.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:14 AM

Look, guys, I appreciate the efforts, really I do. It is awful kind of you to go to such lengths to increase my level of suffering and so on. You shouldn't take it personally if I am not suffering in result of said efforts. It's not you, it's me...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:05 AM

I'm lost. Amos, were you rude? Rapaire, did you provoke Amos, AGAIN?

LH is going on strike? what for? Can't be better working conditions, or higher wages; because MOAB is the bestest working conditions and he doesn't get paid.

Hi Stilly!

Say, has Janie moved yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 10:01 AM

He zipped it on the fly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 09:45 AM

Rude? You did zip up your fly after reading my post, didn't you?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 08:36 AM

You're suffering because I'm going to ask my Second, MMario, to ask you to explain your rudeness. If your answer is unsatisfactory We Will Proceed.

(MMario, could you do that please? Thanks.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 11:59 PM

Oh, wait!! What??? I forgot to suffer!! Oh, darn, I'm sorry, Little Hawk, really. It just slipped my mind. Remind me why I am suffering, would you? I want to do this right...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 11:24 PM

Don't worry. He's suffering the tortures of the damned wondering when I am going to strike.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 08:32 PM

'Tis o'er. The tea 'tis o'er. I didn't spill anything and everything I said was nice and polite.

Unlike Amos, who said bad things about me and who should be punished by being grounded for a zillion jillion weeks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 07:43 PM

Ha ha ha....even as I write, Rapaire is putting on his forced smile, raising his bone china cup up with one finger delicately raised, and trying to say something nice to the lady who wants to donate ten hunnert grand to the books for little childrens fund. Poor bugger doesn't realize he left his fly open all the while.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 07:29 PM

Mom!! Rapaire is printing in red for NO APPARENT REASON!!!!!!


Ah, well. 'Chagonnadew, yanowodahmeen?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 05:44 PM

Look, I have to go to a bloody TEA right now. One with silver tea pots and everything.

LH, take over!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 04:47 PM

Boy, I bet the tension you're under is unbearable, eh, Amos? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 04:25 PM

Oh, all right, it was over the top, but Rapaire was being intentionally provicative and mean, too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 03:59 PM

Amazing how this thread gets rolling along sometimes. I do think the red was a bit over the top. ALL CAPS and BOLD were enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 02:40 PM

Yes, please do. I am a bit overfull just now, and a little sweat would do me some good.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:49 PM

"Insensate"??? You wound me, sir! Now, if you had said "non-sartorial" I might be inclined to let it pass...but this is just too much. I am now planning a brilliant counterattack which will send you reeling off in utter disarray. I'm going to let you sweat for awhile, though, before I launch it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:23 PM

That's not panic-mongering, you insensate dweeb!! It's barely-suppressed indignation and irritation!! Can't you READ?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:13 PM

Amos is panic-mongering again! (Note his flagrant use of large red lettering to excite and terrorize the impressionable masses...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:09 PM

Recitation being preferable to rendering. The latter tends to make things a bit messy....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:08 PM

Oh. come now Mister Librarian. Surely even you know that "piano recitals" are not the same as recitations of text. Thus, too with vocal performances. Mom!!!! Rapaire is being INTENTIONALLY OBTUSE again!!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:03 PM

I thought Foster was supposed to be sung, not just recited. But it might have been best....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 12:59 PM

Upset!! I should say so!! He came on stage, right at the start of Act II, dressed up as Alfredo, and by rights, ready to launch into a spirited rendition of De' miei bollenti spiriti.

Well, much to the surprise and dismay of Vienna's finest society, he stops mid-stride, has some sort of petit mal, turns to the audience and starts belting out "Hard Times, Come Again No mOre". I tell ya, it was a major scandal!!

They ran him out of town, and he had to take the boat-train to England that night, and from there the packet ship to New York, and finally ended up in a small cottage in the woods outside Manchester, New Hampshire, where it took him several weeks to recuperate.

Then he was struck with inspiration, and started earning his living doing Steven Foster recitals and, as I say, won the heart of American families everywhere.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 12:50 PM

There's an Ono Island down on the Gulf right at the Florida/Alabama border, but it doesn't really qualify as a three-letter town because "Island" is part of its name. I'd never be able to actually get on the place anyway. It's one of those gated communities where everybody's a millionaire. They have guards with Mace, M-16s, trained attack dogs, stun grenades, and small tactical nuclear weapons. If you don't have an "Ono Island Resident" sticker on your windshield or your name on a pre-approved list submitted by a resident, you ain't gettin' on the place. Telling a guard, "Aw man, I just wanna see where Kenny Stabler lives!" won't do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 12:30 PM

He left right in the middle of Traviata? Weren't the producers upset? What about his contract?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 12:15 PM

++blush++

Thanks, man.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:14 AM

that pun was bad enough to make a skunk retch!

(I'm really envious - wish I could think that fast)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 10:12 AM

It was challenging, but, my friend, my fellow MOABite, it was Mom's need and wish that drove my hand. With our Mom in want, how could I do less?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM

Amos! How could you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 09:43 AM

It was named after Oso L'Ommio, the renowned operatic tenor who, in midcareer, abandoned La Traviata for the collected works of Stephen Foster, and won the heart of a youthful America.


A


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