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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 08 Aug 07 - 11:06 AM
JennyO 08 Aug 07 - 10:51 AM
MMario 08 Aug 07 - 10:38 AM
JennyO 08 Aug 07 - 10:37 AM
Amos 08 Aug 07 - 10:26 AM
MMario 08 Aug 07 - 10:11 AM
JennyO 08 Aug 07 - 10:05 AM
MMario 08 Aug 07 - 08:50 AM
Acme 08 Aug 07 - 01:30 AM
Amos 08 Aug 07 - 12:27 AM
Janie 08 Aug 07 - 12:13 AM
Little Hawk 08 Aug 07 - 12:10 AM
Janie 08 Aug 07 - 12:03 AM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 07 - 11:41 PM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 11:37 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 07 - 11:19 PM
Janie 07 Aug 07 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 07 - 10:52 PM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 10:46 PM
Janie 07 Aug 07 - 09:45 PM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 07 - 08:05 PM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 07:38 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 07 - 05:50 PM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 05:37 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 07 - 05:08 PM
Acme 07 Aug 07 - 04:15 PM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 04:02 PM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 03:37 PM
Little Hawk 07 Aug 07 - 12:50 PM
MMario 07 Aug 07 - 12:20 PM
JennyO 07 Aug 07 - 12:16 PM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 10:59 AM
JennyO 07 Aug 07 - 10:53 AM
Acme 07 Aug 07 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 07 Aug 07 - 10:44 AM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 10:41 AM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 02:17 AM
Acme 07 Aug 07 - 01:14 AM
Rapparee 07 Aug 07 - 12:23 AM
Amos 07 Aug 07 - 12:05 AM
JennyO 06 Aug 07 - 11:46 PM
Amos 06 Aug 07 - 11:41 PM
Little Hawk 06 Aug 07 - 11:21 PM
Amos 06 Aug 07 - 11:09 PM
Little Hawk 06 Aug 07 - 10:25 PM
rumanci 06 Aug 07 - 09:27 PM
Janie 06 Aug 07 - 09:16 PM
Amos 06 Aug 07 - 08:50 PM
Janie 06 Aug 07 - 07:55 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 11:06 AM

Kin I have peanut butter on mine?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:51 AM

Of course! Home made and fresh from the oven!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:38 AM

biscuits with the tea?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:37 AM

Cup of tea anyone?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:26 AM

Aw, Geeze, now Emms is mad at Jenns and I am sore at Leedle. And Mom's sleeping in a haystackupside down. An' Stilly's sore at all points.

Aw, Geeze.

Shucks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:11 AM

? ! ? When I made that objection because someone claimed a pinwheel with a '4' in the center I was told it would still spin, so it was a pinwheel!

I'm gonna go in my room. - no one better come in. I'm puting up the "No admittance - This means U" sign.

*stomp*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 10:05 AM

MMario, I hate to tell you, but I think you'll find it's only a palindromic number. The middle number is not the same upside down, so not a pinwheel. Close though, and quite nice in its own way.

It was a rough ride I agree, Stilly, still once one has had a few of those highballs, one is sorta feeling no pain - you know how it is. When cocktail hour was eventually over, we settled MOM down in one of these. She was feeling no pain either. We actually had a considerable amount of trouble finding a haystack WITHOUT a needle in it. The nasty little things are turning up everywhere!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 08:50 AM

iffen I kalkoolaided right this is One-eight-six-eight-one.

PINWHEEL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 01:30 AM

Oh, gawd, you should feel what it feels like to ride on a horse all day in a dress. . . I'm walking home. . . once I can walk again. . . good thing we've done a big loop. . . we're not that far from the house. . . Mom says she's going to wait for something large and comfortable--I think there might be a flatbed truck with hay in the back coming through soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:27 AM

Mom:

I am glad you have a chance to take a vacation, but don't expect the place to be ttidy when you get back.

I got an offer to go to sea as a common deckie hauling cargo out to Singapore from Frisco, today. I am thinking hard about it. Maybe we will cross trails on your way back from Australia, especially if you come back by horseback as well.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:13 AM

Hi Bro's!

Here we are at the cocktail hour near Alice Station. You can tell from the lighting that it is a wee bit early,but we needed Mom to snap the picture while she could still hold the camera. Happy hour just started and she has already downed 3 highballs.

She says the bourbon here tastes very different.

Love,

Janie


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:10 AM

Wow! The world's longest fence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Aug 07 - 12:03 AM

Dear Rapaire,

I'm really enjoying my tour of the Australian Outback. We visited
this place today. I was careful to write down directions in case you might like to visit it yourself some day. Look out for your brothers while I am gone.

Love,

MOM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:41 PM

What is your problem. Did you get up on the wrong side of bed or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:37 PM

Lo, the thickening smoke, the flying mirrors. Scrabble on, scrabbler. There's probably some high ground left for you up there if you scrabble desperately enough. Shatner!! Ugh!!

Rapaire, I don't think that is the outback Janie was referring to. Besides, Mom had indoor plumbing put in when you were about 7. I clearly remember the day we had to fish you out from exploring it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:19 PM

Ho! Ho! (snort) Well, this has been most entertaining. It's been almost as much fun as the time I got invited to one of Bill Shatner's barbecues at the place in Tennessee. It seems that he had hooked up with a traveling women's volleyball team that he met while doing a Star Trek convention in Memphis, and he invited them all back to his place for steaks and corn on the cob. I was there doing research for the WSSBA, Bill being kind enough to help out by providing all kinds of background information and anecdotes. Things really got going after sundown, I can tell you. The food was great and the entertainment....even better.

Yesiree. Too bad you couldn't have been there, Rapaire. Chongo has been kicking himself that he missed out on that one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:04 PM

Now Amos, don't go on so. Girls just want to have fun.

Rapaire, didn't Mom teach you not to use bathroom jokes in mixed company?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:52 PM

If Mom has to go to the Outback who are we to stop her? You DID put some more paper in, didn't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:46 PM

Oh, great. See what you've done now? Riled the wimmin folk. Great. Just great. Now we won't have Mom!! She's gone off into the Outback!! Curse you, Little Hawk!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 09:45 PM

"Hey, look at the blimp!" she exclaimed, pointing at the sky behind them.

The men turned as one, their eyes following the line of her finger. In the brief second it took for them to realize they had been fooled, the women darted in, grabbed Mom, and ran. Under the cover of the men's loud declaiming and chest thumping, Jenny O had quietly brought the horses up and had been holding them, obscured from general notice, in a copse of trees about 20 yards from the field of dishonor. She broke from the trees, leading the other horses behind her. Her cohorts scrambled quickly onto their mounts and tore away. SRS had to delay. She was holding Mom. Jenny deftly leaned down as she rode past and swept Mom onto the saddle behind her. SRS took off running again. With a wild whoop and a great leap, she sprang over the hindquarters of her steed, and raced away after the others. They were headed for the Outback.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 08:24 PM

Oh stop your nonsense, good Rapaire. It is more than I can bear to have TWO of you go completely around the bend at once.

Little Hawk has become a rude beast, slouching toward Bethlehem to be re-assembled, and you are acting like a hant with more of his attention on the far side than the near one. This is a ridiculous universe, no mistake.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 08:05 PM

How odd it is that the ghosts of both Amos and Little Hawk still post. They must have loved Mom a lot, but I suspect that they will eventually be exorcised.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 07:38 PM

I did mean odoriferous--meaning, morally offensive; as in, "odoriferous legislation". Your delusory world-view was not up to extrapolating that fairly obvious meaning, but perhaps I should not have committed the typo. I know you are in a delicate frame of mind, having jsut been reassembled from small parts. Sigh. Never mind. When the healing process is over, I am sure you will be much more rational.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 05:50 PM

The word is "odoriferous", you simpleton. And did you know this?   It means "diffusing an odor, either pleasant or obnoxious".

Since you obviously meant the former (pleasant), I suppose I should thank you for the compliment, although I have to say that I find it rather odd that you would take such an interest in another man's skivvies...you being happily married and all...

Does your wife know about your pecadillos in this regard?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 05:37 PM

Mwahahahaha. What pretense!! What folderolity. Bloviate is a perfectly fine word, the more so because it describes you to a T, M. Hack.

As for paying you for appearing here, I think not. I would remind you that it is only through goodwill that your status here as existing whatsoever was recently restored. You should pay Mom for the privilege of occasionally appearing under her overly-lenient roof. Pray, do not bore me with your fancied fraudulent justifications any longer. They are not the class of BS we seek in these parts.

I spit ice cubes and seeds in your general direction. And slip an ice cube into your odiferous underpants.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 05:08 PM

More bloated verbosity from the supposedly outraged one! Good gracious. My dear fellow, anyone who uses the term "bloviate" in common discourse nowadays is clearly suffering from an ailment that I would characterize as terminal pomposity of the piehole. "Bloviate" indeed! No one bloviates anymore in this society. People bloviated in the Victorian era, Amos, but bloviation has had its day.

You need to descend from the exquisitely remote ivory tower of pretence and intellectual artifice you have constructed for yourself, shake yourself off like a hounddog after a refreshing dip in the river, and join the rest of us down here on planet Earth.

I stand by my original statement. I am proud of it. I would say it again if asked to. It was a red flag waved in the breeze in hopes of stimulating a shocked snort of surprise from the wandering MOAB bull, and it succeeded splendidly. Mission accomplished.

By the way, if you wish me to continue responding in a timely fashion to each and every ONE of your ramblings on this thread, I shall expect a weekly stipend (say $150) to be deposited directly into my Paypal account. Otherwise I shall only respond when I feel like it. My time is valuable, you know... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 04:15 PM

You each need to get a glass of that lemonade and go sit in the swing under the shade tree and listen to the bugs and the birds and throw ice cubes at each other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 04:02 PM

Just to make the record clear, the sordid calumny for whcih Little Hawk was so recently vaporized and emulsified is the following remark on the innate character of our Mom:

As for the MOAB, forget it. No one is insane enough to try and analyze that. It has become a tiny club for the terminally verbose and Shatnerless types who lurk at the fringes of society, desperately hoping against hope that something they say or do actually matters.

The reason this was grounds for a challenge is it is false slander against all of our natures. If I hoped for a minute to make something I say "really matter", Little Hawk, are you really deluded enough to think I would put it on the MOAB?

This story shall the good man teach his son;
    And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
    From this day to the ending of the world,
    But we in it shall be remember'd;
    We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
    For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
    Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
    This day shall gentle his condition:
    And gentlemen in England now a-bed
    Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
    And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
    That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.


So hold thine own, Monsieur Hack, and find some use therefore better than such craven sprinkles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 03:37 PM

Oh, bloviate away, Leedle Hack, your smoke screen will never be thick enough to obscure the truth. You insulted Mom and all who abide with her. Then you show up and insist you were just kidding. For fie. Puff away, cover your scrawny butt as you will, but I assure you all would be put much more right by a simple admission and apology.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:50 PM

Pfui! Amos chose, instead of utilizing the grand opportunities here for the sort of wit and ridiculosity that the situation clearly called for, to get all huffy and affronted....like a maiden aunt who has just detected a lapse of teatime etiquette on the part of a younger relative. He rushes to the defense of a thread which from its inception has been based on bizarre humour and utter nonsense, and acts as if he were defending the dignity and sanctity of some hallowed institution. He objects strenuously to my trolling for a response on the sacred ground of the Mother of All BS (ahem...bullshit) Threads.........

How absurd. Has the man lost his sense of proportion altogether? Has he been consuming too many pickled anchovies? Something is seriously wrong here.

If he were living in Schenectady....if he was a Schenectadonian or whatever the hell they call themselves....I could understand it. But he's living in California. Californians are supposed to be broadminded and flexible.

Or is all his huffing and puffing merely feigned outrage? I suspect that is the case. It's just a big act. Well, I am not impressed. And I am fully prepared to resume the duel at any time in order to put this pompous fellow in his proper place. Out of politeness, I will not state where that place is....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:20 PM

I think Amos may have meant "decimalization" - LH being temporaily Deweyed (possibly also Hueyed and Lueyed as well)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:16 PM

his temporary condition of complete decimation

So nine tenths of him was still here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:59 AM

Rapaire, this retroactive warping of historical fact is just silly. It's one thing for Big Brother to do it, but you are not Big Brother. The record clearly shows I have posted here continuously while LH lapsed. Why? Obviously, because of his temporary condition of complete decimation. You are being illogical.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:53 AM

Of course, one of the good things about being on the other side of the planet is that sometimes I can pick Mom up and put her on top with a nice cup of tea and some home made cakes while YOU guys are asleep. I was foiled this time because Mudcat went down just as I was about to post two hours ago, and now Amos has done the job for me. Oh well, the best laid plans......

And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with lemonade. It's just that some moments are "cup of tea" moments, and this is one of them - even more so now than two hours ago.

By the way, we have a very good imitation blunderbuss here that John made for his pirate show. It looks pretty convincing, but it's perfectly harmless - it shoots party poppers - all you get is a nice bang and a bunch of little streamers. Might have been just the thing for a virtual duel - if one had happened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:49 AM

How is Alberta treating you? Have you stopped in every library you pass to see how the rest of the world does things (or to steal their good ideas?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:44 AM

Amos passed away in a duel with Little Hawk, who also croaked. Neither paid any attention to the niceties and politesse of the Code Duello, and so all gentlefolk are better off without either of those boorish poltroons.

Funeral arrangements were made by a pack of dingoes, who dragged off the bodies and ate them.

Memorials can be sent to the "Let's All Help Rapaire Retire Wealthy Fund."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 10:41 AM

Fortunately, good Hawk has proven resilient. He is fully recovered, and has resumed the difficult duties of animating his various imaginary characters for our delectation and education.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 02:17 AM

What is it with this effort to spin time back to before an event, and re-order it!! Even drill sergeants don't get that luxury. Have some lemonade and write the obit, there's a good second.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 01:14 AM

Too late, Rapaire, you missed it. Go see Brucie and let us know how he's doing. Jenny, it isn't that you're on the bottom of the planet that was the problem, it is that you're on the other side of it (laterally, not horizontally).

Just as well Rap isn't checking in too often or he might have found an old bluderbuss to introduce into the field of dishonor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:23 AM

All RIGHT, goddamit! As the primaries neither Amos nor LH are to toss nasty words at each other. Chongo and I will establish the necessary details, and all the primaries have to do is show up.

Now you two address each other in civil ways. Chongo and I will discuss the details of how you are going to kill each other like the gentlemen we are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:05 AM

Some folks are hard to satsfy. LH wa sleft strewn in bits across the battle field, food for scavengers. Janie and I drank to the victory in sparkling lemonade. End of tale. Rewriting history, of course, is a favorite pastime.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 11:46 PM

Good grief - a person goes to bed and indulges in a few hours of sleep, which is only right and proper for the time of day here in upside down land, and the whole battle is engaged (sorta), fought (in a sorta half-arsed kind of way) and fizzles to an ignominious end.

I was expecting more swaggering, swords at twenty paces and plenty of blood-letting. I am disappointed. The question is, does MOM feel sufficiently avenged?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 11:41 PM

Oh, I see. Yu were actually trolling. Well, well, well. I suppose you pee in the soup at home, too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 11:21 PM

Give over, man. ;-) I was trolling with that remark I made about the MOAB on that other thread. I wanted to see if any alert eyes would pick it up, go for the bait, and raise a ruckus here about it.

Sure enough, they did! Heh! Worked like a charm...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 11:09 PM

Someday, my friend, your own responsibility will raise its ugly head, and this sort ofprojection on others will no longer be possible for you as an Owner of Truth. Then, such remarks as you have made about Mom, or myself for that matter, will never enter your emnlightened head.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 10:25 PM

What vainglorious blather on your part, Amos! Very well, I shall take pity on you. You too are pardoned. In the spirit of the great man, William Shatner, who always has had compassion on lesser men, I shall overlook all the misleading and scurrilous things you have said about me here. I shall disregard the outrageous impugning of my heretofore flawless reputation. I shall agree to an armistace.

Life goes on... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 09:27 PM

Janie.   Don't talk about Mom like THAT !    She'll bite back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 09:16 PM

I...I suppose I could do that. You are quite sure it is safe? What about that deranged looking chimpanzee over there?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 08:50 PM

Ah, Janie, dinna fash thysel'. The battle is over. Those few pieces of Little Hawk you see hither and yon will be taken off quickly enough by those who need carrion to live. Come, they are serving lemonade in the First Lieutenant's mess, sit with us and enjoy the tales of wives and loved ones dreamed of at home....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 07:55 PM

Holy Crap! Here I am, finally showing up 4 years late, only to find myself in the middle of a battlefield.

MOM, GET ME OUT'A HEEREEEEEE!


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