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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 06 Jul 15 - 10:17 AM
GUEST,g 05 Jul 15 - 09:01 PM
Amos 05 Jul 15 - 05:32 PM
Acme 05 Jul 15 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 15 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 15 - 05:47 PM
gnu 04 Jul 15 - 05:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jul 15 - 04:40 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 15 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 15 - 04:11 PM
gnu 04 Jul 15 - 03:38 PM
Ebbie 04 Jul 15 - 03:15 PM
Amos 04 Jul 15 - 02:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jul 15 - 12:54 PM
Acme 04 Jul 15 - 10:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jul 15 - 09:50 AM
Rapparee 03 Jul 15 - 11:14 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 15 - 07:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jul 15 - 02:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jul 15 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 03 Jul 15 - 09:28 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jul 15 - 03:50 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 15 - 10:47 PM
Amos 02 Jul 15 - 09:37 PM
GUEST, ^*^ 02 Jul 15 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 15 - 08:59 AM
Rapparee 01 Jul 15 - 09:45 PM
gnu 01 Jul 15 - 09:28 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 15 - 06:38 PM
gnu 01 Jul 15 - 03:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jul 15 - 02:33 PM
gnu 01 Jul 15 - 11:26 AM
Rapparee 01 Jul 15 - 09:00 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Jul 15 - 03:32 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 15 - 10:33 PM
gnu 30 Jun 15 - 05:19 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 15 - 02:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jun 15 - 02:55 PM
Amos 30 Jun 15 - 02:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jun 15 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 15 - 09:55 AM
Acme 29 Jun 15 - 11:16 PM
gnu 29 Jun 15 - 07:04 PM
Rapparee 29 Jun 15 - 06:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Jun 15 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 29 Jun 15 - 11:05 AM
Amos 29 Jun 15 - 01:08 AM
Acme 28 Jun 15 - 11:56 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 15 - 08:37 PM
gnu 28 Jun 15 - 08:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jul 15 - 10:17 AM

Is Amos still paddling around Éirinn?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,g
Date: 05 Jul 15 - 09:01 PM

Great game USA! World cup champs and well deserved! Medals being given out now. In French as well as English, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jul 15 - 05:32 PM

POBLACHT NA hÉIREANN
THE PROVISIONAL GOVERNMENT
OF THE IRISH REPUBLIC
TO THE PEOPLE OF IRELAND
1916

Sigh...The proclamation is here...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jul 15 - 12:52 PM

That's a bright shiny message, Rap! Does it match the office? Did you pull all of the masking tape off of the trim?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 10:04 PM

And now, from my refurbished, repainted, and recarpeted office: THIS MESSAGE!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 05:47 PM

Like C-2, C-3, and C-4 (the "C" standing for "Composition") I thought C-51 was a type of explosive, which would be appropriate for the Glorious Fourth.

I just read the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. I didn't know that I had been visiting a totalitarian state prior to its passage!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 05:01 PM

Careful, Rap. You dis C-51 and CSIS might make your ass disappear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 04:40 PM

A great fireworks safety tip courtesy of The Onion:

Most fireworks injuries occur on July 4th. So, just wait until after midnight and set your fireworks off on the 5th when it's safer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 04:15 PM

Or this, gnu...

Irishmen and Irishwomen: In the name of God and of the dead generations from which she receives her old tradition of nationhood, Ireland, through us, summons her children to her flag and strikes for her freedom. Having organised and trained her manhood through her secret revolutionary organisation, the Irish Republican Brotherhood, and through her open military organisations, the Irish Volunteers, and the Irish Citizen Army, having patiently perfected her discipline, having resolutely waited for the right moment to reveal itself, she now seizes that moment, and, supported by her exiled children in America and by gallant allies in Europe, but relying in the first on her own strength, she strikes in full confidence of victory.

We declare the right of the people of Ireland to the ownership of Ireland, and to the unfettered control of Irish destinies, to be sovereign and indefeasible. The long usurpation of that right by a foreign people and government has not extinguished the right, nor can it ever be extinguished except by the destruction of the Irish people. In every generation the Irish people have asserted their right to national freedom and sovereignty; six times during the past three hundred years they have asserted it in arms. Standing on that fundamental right and again asserting it in arms in the face of the world, we hereby proclaim the Irish republic as a sovereign independent state, and we pledge our lives and the lives of our comrades-in-arms to the cause of its freedom, of its welfare, and of its exaltation among the nations.

The Irish republic is entitled to, and hereby claims, the allegiance of every Irishman and Irishwoman. The republic guarantees religious and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its citizens, and declares its resolve to pursue the happiness and prosperity of the whole nation and of all its parts, cherishing all the children of the nation equally, and oblivious of the differences carefully fostered by an alien government, which have divided a minority from the majority in the past.

Until our arms have brought the opportune moment for the establishment of a permanent national government, representative of the whole people of Ireland, and elected by the suffrages of all her men and women, the Provisional Government, hereby constituted, will administer the civil and military affairs of the republic in trust for the people. We place the cause of the Irish republic under the protection of the Most High God, whose blessing we invoke upon our arms, and we pray that no one who serves that cause will dishonour it by cowardice, inhumanity, or rapine. In this supreme hour the Irish nation must, by its valour and discipline, and by the readiness of its children to sacrifice themselves for the common good, prove itself worthy of the august destiny to which it is called.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 04:11 PM

Sounds like C51 time to me....

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

    He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
    He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
    He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
    He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
    He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
    He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
    He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
    He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
    He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
    He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
    He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
    He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
    He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
    For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
    For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
    For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
    For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
    For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
    For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
    For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
    For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
    For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
    He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
    He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
    He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
    He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
    He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 03:38 PM

On behalf of Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.... Happy Forth of July you traitorous colonial bastards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 03:15 PM

Spudnix


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 02:32 PM

Y'all watch out fer them tumbrils, ya heah? Don't go losing yer fool haids, now.

I am growing excited about our forthcoming expedition up the River Shannon and along the Shannon-Erne waterway. Peaceful, green, rich in oxygen and blarney--who could ask for more? PLUS a boat. I mean it is just a perfect combination.

I have a newly acquired Taylor in perfect condition. I bought it from a struggling music teacher and so I feel guilty, but he needed the dough and I needed the guitar so I suppose we are even-steven.

I love the guitar. Sweet, bright and a fully configurable sound pickup for those occasions when PA is the rule. Plus it has what the professional luthier refers to as "balls". This means it can project well when strummed vigorously.

There's a neighborhood in Dublin called Dolphin's Barn. I am not too sure about this. I didn't think dolphins even HAD barns, but maybe they do things differently over there, and maybe they have higher porpoises who need barns for some reason. It is comforting to think one will be serving a higher porpoise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 12:54 PM

I don't know whether the state of Florida gave its employees Friday off or not. The only state employees I know work at either Pensacola State College or The University of West Florida, and they've both been on four-day work weeks during summer sessions for at least twenty years. Theoretically, it's to save money on utilities. In actuality, it saves diddly-squat, but going back to a five-day summer schedule would probably be met with a level of resistance that would make The French Revolution look like a heated game of tiddlywinks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 10:03 AM

Anchored as it is to July 4th, Independence Day is not a state holiday this year. No extra day off because the holiday falls on a Saturday. Killjoy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jul 15 - 09:50 AM

Of course you'd be able to have outdoor Independence Day fun in Hawai'i, even if the celebratory day were in March. You'd be able to picnic on poi, pineapple, and pomegranate, just like any other day of the year. I didn't say "all states", I said "most states". "Most states" is not Hawai'i. "Most states" is Michigan and Indiana. "Most states" is defined as "where houses have root cellars to keep their turnips from turning, their swedes from sweating, and their radishes from rotting."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 15 - 11:14 PM

Besides, you forget Hawai'i.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 15 - 07:11 PM

REAL spud guns use hair spray or something similar for a propellant, not gunpowder or smokeless powder.

What's wrong with sitting around a fireplace sipping hot toddies?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jul 15 - 02:34 PM

Isn't it amazing that the founding fathers of the US had the foresight to sign their Declaration of Independence on July 4th so Independence Day could be celebrated during prime picnic, cookout, and watermelon season? If they'd signed it in March, most of the country would celebrate by sitting around a fireplace, drinking hot totties and roasting root vegetables from the cellar.

All of which leads one to wonder if the Declaration of Independence had been signed during a winter month, would we then celebrate Independence Day on September 3rd, that being the date on which The Treaty of Paris, officially ending the American Revolution, was signed in 1783? Arguably, that is the date when independence was actually attained, not merely set forth as a goal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jul 15 - 11:53 AM

BTW, while looking for that giant potato gun image, I came across this news item which caught my eye because it took place two counties west of here, just across the Alabama state line:


Saturday, May 30, 2009
By RUSS HENDERSON
Staff Reporter

A Stapleton 14-year-old will likely lose the hearing in his right ear, and may lose the ear itself, after a misfire accident Friday involving a homemade "spud gun" with which he and two friends were playing, Baldwin County Sheriff's Office officials said.

"With summer vacation starting, some children might be using their free time to build one of these dangerous guns," Sheriff's Office spokesman Maj. Anthony Lowery said. "They need to understand that these are not toys. They can kill or injure."

The teen was taken by medical helicopter to Mobile's University of South Alabama Medical Center with non-life-threatening injuries, Lowery said.

Three boys, two of them 14 years old and one of them 11 years old, were playing with the gunpowder-powered, improvised firearm — sometimes called a "spud gun" or a "potato gun," after the ammunition often used in them. The gun was made principally with part of a long metal tube that had been used to hold up an old-fashioned outdoor television antenna, Lowery said.

They were firing rocks and other objects from the gun in the yard of one of the boys' homes on Charlie Head Road in Stapleton, Lowery said. Adults were at home, but none was nearby at the time, he said.

The gun was equipped with a breech made of plastic PVC material, which allowed rear-loading, he said.

Eventually, the gun misfired. The gunpowder explosion broke through the thin metal piping and the plastic breech cover was blasted loose, striking the 14-year-old in the head, Lowery said.

"That's why real guns are manufactured using thick, strong steel," Lowery said. Gunpowder explosions can't be reliably contained within a PVC pipe, he said.

An investigation is ongoing, but no charges have been filed, he said.


Sounds like the kid missed a great opportunity to become a Darwin Award recipient.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 15 - 09:28 AM

We can't discuss that. I can only say that over at the Idaho National Laboratory a lot of awfully big potatoes are used in the cafeterias and a lot sugar beets are also sent that-a-way. We who live here talk to those who work there and they all say that eating sugar on mashed potatoes is a "real treat." They also speak, generally after 10 or 12 beers, of something they call "Spud Thud" and another called "Beet Delete." Nothing more is known about either project.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jul 15 - 03:50 AM

And there even larger potatoes grown on secret farms run by the US Army. They're grown as ammunition for giant potato guns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 15 - 10:47 PM

There are sidings of the Union Pacific Railroad throughout the Snake River Plain where much larger potatoes are loaded onto flatcars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 15 - 09:37 PM

Men from FEMA, men from HUD,
Men of blue or lowly blood
Born of mansion, born in mud
Lend your hand to lift this spud!

Whether nobly born or lowly
Born to siblings, or born solely
Help us out, by all that's holy
Lift this spud so roly-poly!

Pass ye not along the buck!
Act as though you give a fuck!
Plant your boots into the muck,
And get that spud up on that truck!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 02 Jul 15 - 09:15 AM

Everybody knows a forklift would have damaged that tater putting it on the lowboy. I bet someone photoshopped it over the image of a cedar log.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 15 - 08:59 AM

Here is a photo of a single potato being shipped; Idaho produces I-don't-know-how-many of these a year, but it's a lot. NB potatoes, and those of Ireland and Maine, are a puny lot which tries (and fails) to mimic those of Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 15 - 09:45 PM

Worked for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jul 15 - 09:28 PM

"Please select an option to find the photo you need." ???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 15 - 06:38 PM

There is one sort of "potato" which is not only carnivorous, but acts like a mad dog. It is, fortunately, rather small. Unfortunately it is also "cute" and hence all the more dangerous. Here in Idaho, when we find 'em, we keep 'em caged.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jul 15 - 03:57 PM

Made a link for the football thread and it's still on my clipboard soooo enjoy... Maradonna?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jul 15 - 02:33 PM

There's a town in Florida called Spuds. But they don't have gigantic spuds, just normal ones. The gigantic ones are further south in the Everglades, where they have the dreaded Burmese Pytater.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jul 15 - 11:26 AM

Here is a New Brunswick spud. Also note, we have some big lobsters too. https://www.google.ca/search?q=new+brunswick+giant+potato&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-SearchBox&tbm=isch&imgil=u0Qe3R5OhE0-mM%253


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 15 - 09:00 AM

Exactly, except for the feet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jul 15 - 03:32 AM

A potato in the flesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 15 - 10:33 PM

Now that I have a real keyboard I'll tell you everything.

First, Idaho (and Maine, and the borders of Ireland) were once high, flat plateaus.

Secondly, the "potato" does not grow as a tuber on a plant. It is more like a nematode crossed with a grub.

The "potato" has as its favorite food the plant Solanum Tuberosum. It attaches itself to the roots of the plant and, in a symbiotic relationship, thrives. It can sense the presence of the plant through the soil and will migrate at least several miles (or kilometers or kilometres) to reach it.

The relationship between plant and animal continues until the plant dies from the end of the growing season or from so other cause. If the demise of the plant is due to the end of the growing season, the "potato" turns into the starchy "tuber" we know.

Some soils (such as those in the areas mentioned above) are particularly conducive to the growth of Solanum T. and hence to the "potato." As the plants were domesticated for farming, the "potato" would, naturally, come to them. This left hollows in the soil when enough "potatoes" had migrated. These hollows would, of course, be filled in with soil.

Over the course of time, enough "potatoes" migrated due to farming that the collapse of the soil reduced the high plateaus and gave birth to the mountains of Idaho, Maine, and the coastal areas of Ireland.

And now you know The Truth. The "potato" is actually a pretty stupid animal, a root sucker. Keep this in mind if you are a vegetarian or worse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jun 15 - 05:19 PM

Stompin Tom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 15 - 02:59 PM

As everyone knows Idaho has famous potatoes -- says so on the license plates. Very few know The Truth About Potatoes and when I get to a reLkeyboard I'll share it with you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jun 15 - 02:55 PM

Mamas, don't your babies be talkin' 'bout 'taters
Don't let 'em tell tales about russets and such
Make 'em talk about broccoli and kale and spinach

Mamas, don't your babies be talkin' 'bout 'taters
Especially fried topped with chili and cheese
Just thinkin' about that makes me ill at ease


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 15 - 02:36 PM

I know some folks are so shy about talking about their potatoes, they just stand and spudder, as though they're brains were fried. They get a wild look in all their eyes, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jun 15 - 10:58 AM

I never talk about my potatoes in public. I know some people do, and that's okay, but I was brought up in a family where what you do with your potatoes is your business and nobody else's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 15 - 09:55 AM

Those potatoes are dyed with water-soluble food coloring (or colouring, if you're in one of those countries). In this way you are fooled into buying plain ol' white potatoes instead of the ones you really wanted. If you dig about three feet under the bottom potato you'll find that the soil yields a red color (or colour, if you must) if you let it sit in a jar of water. That's from the dye used, unless someone has snuck in and buried a body under your potatoes and in that case you should notify the police. That's an inconvenience, yes, but unless you did it it's your civic duty. If you did it you shouldn't talk about your potatoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jun 15 - 11:16 PM

For some reason all of the red lasota potatoes I planted this spring turned into some kind of white potato. Perhaps all of the rain washed out the color? There wasn't much out there either, the poor things were completely neglected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jun 15 - 07:04 PM

$30 more today for two buckets of sealer and a motorpickle helmet. Anybody wanna buy a gas powered pressure washer what will take yer dick right off at 3500 psi if ya aim wrong? I got a shitload a stuff ta sell. I tried to post "Shitload a stuff" under garage sales at Kijiji but they wouldn't approve it. "Lotta stuff" just don't convey my message proper like eh?

Still got me windows open. Hit 20C today. I love about the 12C overnight with the windows open until the fucking mourning doves start cooing and the crows start cawing before daylight. I live in the city so I can't shoot the fuckers and leave there dead bodies as a warning to the others not to wake me up. Otherwise, feathers would fly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 15 - 06:20 PM

My personal library is getting back in shape, but I need more bookcases.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jun 15 - 12:03 PM

Hi Mom! I learned a new bit of slang last night. A woman with a great body but an ugly face is called a "butterface". Why? Because her body looks good, but her face....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 15 - 11:05 AM

Amos may whale and carp and grunt, but someone did use his dory over the weekend. He'd left his banjo in it, and the guilty party had a dab at it and then used it for a drum. Whoever it was also took a flyer with Amos' leatherjacket and moara less ruined it by leaving it covered with scat -- it smelt terrible. Even though Amos is just a sprat who can't carry a tuna bucket, he's gonna flounder around until he finds the son of a bicher and "char that slimehead until his wahoo is whiting! I'll zingle him out from the school and lay a tarpon on his wrasse that'll knock that crappie off his perch! By gar, you sea if I don't put him in his plaice! I'll put a shiner on his tope! When I'm done with him his gunnel will be scuppered! By gar, I'll skate on his flathead and leave him a sleeper, and I'm the buoy that can make him saury!"

Moral: If you're up to something fishy, don't get an ide you can cobbler around in Amos' boat. He'll buri your Humuhumunukunukuapua'a if you do, and he'll do it just for the halibut.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 15 - 01:08 AM

I remain clammed up, rather than floundering.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jun 15 - 11:56 PM

Bivalves come to mind as I read all of this muscle flexing of marine puns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 15 - 08:37 PM

Orca not understand you, to please say it an otter way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jun 15 - 08:08 PM

That seals the deal.


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