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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 13 Jul 06 - 12:41 AM
Amos 13 Jul 06 - 12:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jul 06 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 06 - 11:04 PM
Amos 12 Jul 06 - 10:49 PM
GUEST,CC Rapaire again 12 Jul 06 - 10:46 PM
GUEST,Curiously Cookieless Rapaire 12 Jul 06 - 10:32 PM
Amos 12 Jul 06 - 08:17 PM
Rapparee 12 Jul 06 - 02:22 PM
Acme 12 Jul 06 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 12 Jul 06 - 09:43 AM
Amos 12 Jul 06 - 09:35 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 Jul 06 - 06:30 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 06 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 06 - 09:44 PM
Acme 11 Jul 06 - 08:35 PM
Bunnahabhain 11 Jul 06 - 07:47 PM
Amos 11 Jul 06 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 06 - 12:28 PM
Amos 11 Jul 06 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 06 - 08:57 AM
MMario 11 Jul 06 - 08:09 AM
Acme 10 Jul 06 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 06 - 04:47 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Jul 06 - 03:54 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 06 - 03:13 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 Jul 06 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 06 - 01:07 PM
MMario 10 Jul 06 - 10:23 AM
Bunnahabhain 10 Jul 06 - 10:17 AM
MMario 10 Jul 06 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 06 - 09:12 AM
Amos 10 Jul 06 - 08:09 AM
Bunnahabhain 10 Jul 06 - 05:25 AM
Acme 10 Jul 06 - 12:03 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 06 - 11:15 PM
Amos 09 Jul 06 - 09:57 PM
Acme 09 Jul 06 - 09:31 PM
Amos 09 Jul 06 - 07:32 PM
Acme 09 Jul 06 - 03:49 PM
Amos 09 Jul 06 - 03:47 PM
Bunnahabhain 09 Jul 06 - 03:43 PM
GUEST,Pamela Bereft 09 Jul 06 - 03:19 PM
Amos 09 Jul 06 - 03:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Jul 06 - 12:39 PM
Bunnahabhain 09 Jul 06 - 07:02 AM
Bunnahabhain 08 Jul 06 - 03:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jul 06 - 02:21 PM
Amos 08 Jul 06 - 01:01 PM
Acme 08 Jul 06 - 11:43 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 12:41 AM

You chose the wrong binary, BWL: it isn't "light/dark" it's "light/heavy" as in the weight of the material being generated here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 12:21 AM

I think that that, too, seems naturally suited to a man of Rapaire's bent.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 11:04 PM

Who gets to do the dark thinking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 11:04 PM

No, no, I don't want you to strain yourself. You can't depend upon your Depends if you strain too hard, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 10:49 PM

Tell you what; I will let you do the light thinking, as you take to it so naturally.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,CC Rapaire again
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 10:46 PM

Quick! Everybody together now! Let's all think for Amos!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Curiously Cookieless Rapaire
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 10:32 PM

Amos, it's okay. I'll be happy to do all the heavy and light thinking for you. I don't want you to blow out your cerebellum or herniate your occipital lobe or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 08:17 PM

In your company, good sir, further exertion would be a waste, and once a year generates far more material than I find can be absorbed therein.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 02:22 PM

Amos thinks at least once a year, need it or not!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 10:10 AM

Well that's a relief! What oozed through by "accident" is bad enough. . .

Amos, that sounded like a little conversation one might have heard in the bar in The Sun Also Rises. Doncha think?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 09:43 AM

I shall not pun today. I shall not open that door ever a tiny crack. Puns are the excrement of small minds. Puns are only for those who cannot find real humor within or without themselves. No, I shall not pun today. I shall not tell the story of the Middle Eastern leader who got off a carousel and was immediately eaten by the center one of three young sheep, causing the shepherd to exclaim, "Middle lamb, you've had a dizzy Bey!" Nor shall I tell of the poker-playing automaton that had heavy weights piled upon it, forcing the owner to say, sadly, "It will take jacks or better to open." No, the good news is that I will not pun today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 09:35 AM

Well, B. said to N. that he wouldn't spend the evening alone with a book, that he wanted something interesting to do. N. offered various suiggestions -- interesting bars were "too plebeian" and restaurants "too materialistic". B. insisted he wanted something cultured, but not challenging -- "a comforting sort of cultural" thing to do. B. strode around the room expostulating on the dullness of life. N. suggested tango. No. N. offered jazz -- too challenging. B was sure there was something out there with just the right balance of warmth, adventure, comfort and beauty. N. said, How about flamenco guitar? I know a senor who performs in a Castellano restaurant across town. "Flamenco? Oh, that's close..." thought B. But then B. allowed that these Castilian dons were stuffy and puffed up. "Something Portuguese, then?" offered N. "Yes! Yes!" cried B. "A portuguese gypsy music dancer or guitariste! But not a man, no!! No stilted Dons for me! Call a Dona, N!"

Ya think? I dunno.... the line, "He wasn't that shaggy!" comes to mind....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Jul 06 - 06:30 AM

The Poetry round here is appalling,
As the language is given a mauling,
Rhymes, I must say,
Just get in the way,
And my hopes of sucess are still falling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 09:47 PM

A lassie from fair Inverness
Had a most magnificent ass,
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think,
But gray, had long ears, and ate grass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 09:44 PM

As I said to my friend when we spied someone who lived near the Don, "Look Cal! A Donian!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 08:35 PM

I'm sure there's a way. Did you ever listen to "My Word" years ago when it was on the BBC (and rebroadcast on the CBC, where I heard it)? What Frank Muir and Denis Norden could do to the English language--I still wince to think about "There are fairies at the bottom of our garden."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 07:47 PM

Unless anybody can form a pun on Caladonian, then I believe we're finished here...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 01:23 PM

And if you lost the fence, your spilled blood could be blue...a blue monkey's uncle. Not to be picty about it...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 12:28 PM

Well, Alba a monkey's uncle! It could run along the edge of the woad!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 09:39 AM

IF you took your Pict, Rapaire, you could have a nice white Pictic fence...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 08:57 AM

I don't care as long as I'm safe and out of the Gael.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Jul 06 - 08:09 AM

Noow that's a new Angle - "take your Pict" Would you rathe have Saxon Violence or go Roman along the way?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 11:38 PM

That's what should be dancing around the first thing. A proto-Scotsman.

"That's" and "first thing" require one to actually remember a couple of posts back. That's a lot of work! You should at least use one proper noun to balance the other generic noun (or pronoun). It doesn't matter which one, however--take your Pict. ;->


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 04:47 PM

That's what should be dancing around the first thing. A proto-Scotsman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 03:54 PM

Well, it's about 500 ft high, so they'd have to be quite big proto-humonoids. Quaterbacks, or maybe Shane?

this
might be some kind of fertility thingy, and is apparently still quite popular with couples on a summer night....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 03:13 PM

Aren't there supposed to be pre-humanoids dancing around that in some sort of Scottish fertility ritual?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 02:05 PM

Well, I was trying to figure out where to stick this . Most of my answers didn't have codes....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 01:07 PM

Buncha a damned wimps. I just spent days and days in the primal soup of Washington, DC.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 10:23 AM

significant commas making the difference between the true and false statements

sound like the civil service test I had to take for my current position. all of us who took it agreed it was more of a grammer test then anything else; very outdated even though brand new; and with several of the questions needing you to try and figure out which of the incorrect answers they wanted you to pick - since "none of the above" wasn't an option.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 10:17 AM

The Elizabethan Era? Is that all? I've just spent most of the morning in what turns out to be the late Silurian, ie about 450 million years ago, but nobody can agree on that to within 15 Ma or so.

feel free to ignore the rant....
Trick question on the test. Gives you the archetypal Devonian formation, and doesn't give you that as one of the options. Three textbooks, too much coffe and a specialised dictionary later, and I still can't get a meaning for the crucial note on the Map. Google has the answer on the top page. Makes you wonder about the worth of learning sometimes.
The ones with significant commas making the difference between the true and false staements are almost as bad. I wouldn't mind, if I could actually go and make use of this knowledge and climb the Analcime bearing olivine Dolerite out there without getting rained on....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 09:38 AM

Have you noticed that sooner or later 'ilk' creep into the conversation. Ilk tend to do that.

SRS - I'm weekend in 1585 - I can't get connections from there - not even dial up! I'm thinking about complaining to her Majesty about that, but don't think even Gloriana herself can remedy the situation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 09:12 AM

freds, Ralphs, Martians, the Idaho Legion -- just how alien do you want that race to be???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 08:09 AM

Bullshit is relative, you know. At least among my relatives it is. So all our population are approximate.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 05:25 AM

I can just see an alien race stumbling across Moab at some point in the dim and distant future, and getting utterly the wrong idea about the early 21st century, such as it has an approxiamte population of 12....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 06 - 12:03 AM

Good! I'll pencil you in for this week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 11:15 PM

'Neath paper piles the pencils grow
And lay themselves out row on row,
In the dark that is their place
Erasers, wood and lead embrace
Ne'er seen, but in the morn you know.

Then they are stubs. Short days ago
They lived, were writ, saw letters glow,
Used and were chewed, and now they lie
In darkened drawers.


-- John Armitrage Hennepin; Mongo, Indiana, ca. 1910


I have returned.

Lafayette! I am here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 09:57 PM

In paper piles my pencils breed,
Under the darkness of the night,
And where a a single pencil lay,
Three will appear by morning light.

The lead and wood is just as strong,
The paint more new, the point less worn
Than those of their forebear left
Alone until the light of morn.

How comes this work, I cannot say
It seems to me surpassing strange,
That pencils quickly breed that way
Far from their normal feeding range.

Here is no lead, to feed their young,
Or shavings they might nurse upon,
How come they, new and sharp and strong,
To be there, when the night is gone?

Thus do the Muses entertain
Our weary hearts, like God of old,
And tantalize our puzzled brains
With miracles mundane and cold.

Lachryma Mundia,
"Tears of the Ordinary Heart"
Armentieres, 1917


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 09:31 PM

By the by, BWL, you forgot to list spatulas when you enumerated your goals for MOAB. Where to they fall in your platform? Not through the cracks, I hope!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 07:32 PM

Only if they have lead in them, I suppose; breeding is defeated, otherwise.

I suppse Eberhardt Fabers never have that issue to contend with.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 03:49 PM

Pencils breed in piles of paper and pencil holders and in drawers. They're worse than cockroaches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 03:47 PM

Pamela:

Your alter-ego, George, is running amok again. Please rein him in.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 03:43 PM

As I am only a fool , and not actively damned, I shall only add to, rather than complete the list.

To figure out why google is trying to sell us Karaoke, and Jewish music, when we've not mentioned them.

To hunt down the person who first though pineapple on pizza was a good idea, and utilise their clearly enormous talent for stupid ideas.

To understand the fine structure of the Universe, as shown through the Pirates of Penzance played backwards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Pamela Bereft
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 03:19 PM

And to further glorify the name of William Shatner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 03:07 PM

To advance the cause of, and increase the amount of, quality bullshit in the world beyond all need or reason.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 12:39 PM

Inasmuch as there are currently two "stated goals" threads on the board, I thought it might be time to plainly state the goals of the Mother Of All BS Threads. So...

The Stated Goals of MOAB

1) To promote the development of superior quality rubber hip-boots.

2) To promote an exponential increase in the world's supply of diddley-squat.

3) To provide safe haven and moral support for homeless ilk of all creeds.

4) To determine why BWL has so many pencils, despite the fact that he hasn't actually purchased a pencil since 1970.

5) To let some other damned fool finish this list.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 07:02 AM

Oh Moab, What have you been doing? We levae you alone for a few hours, and we find you at the bottom of the page, drunk in the gutter, and singing rude songs about Weasels. Again.

Up you get, time to take you home, to the top.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 03:27 PM

There were many things in Kirkcauldy, including some Lass who woulds be about 38000, D^6.( An interesting shape hot air ballon...)

BTW, At some point, a generally numptish gentlemen made a fortune by selling coal to Newcastle. It arrived in the middle of a miners strike. He also sold Fur gloves, coats etc to the Carribian at an enormus profit. Total numpty, but very lucky....

I have regained the feeling in my feet, and so have started on the beer to remove this feeling. Having a keg at home is a bad idea, they should be saved for the BBQ and such like...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 02:21 PM

A company picnic, huh? What a great idea! When company overstays its welcome, just make a picnic out of 'em! Roast loin of son-in-law sounds great! Or how about a nice second-cousin casserole? That bratty child who terrorizes your cats? Barbecued brat! Yummy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 01:01 PM

SHower heads and swords -- so many miracles we mess aboot with all the day long. Me, I'm going down to Mission Bay to join the Company picnic. Mebbe take my kayak down there and spend some time paddling around. I'm done saving Western civilization from itself. It's the weekend, after all... :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 11:43 AM

I didn't hear you, you were very quiet, but last night was one of those nights when lots of little things kept waking me up. Funny thing is, I'm cutting back on caffiene so you'd think I'd sleep as soundly as usual.

I deleted a post a little while back, throwing all of the counts off, for which I apologize now. On this one I simply removed a link to a personal account. No more messing up the numbers.


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