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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 20 Apr 06 - 11:21 AM
MMario 20 Apr 06 - 10:36 AM
Acme 20 Apr 06 - 10:20 AM
Rapparee 20 Apr 06 - 09:13 AM
Amos 19 Apr 06 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 06 - 11:20 PM
Acme 19 Apr 06 - 10:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 06 - 08:25 PM
Amos 19 Apr 06 - 07:49 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 06 - 04:01 PM
MMario 19 Apr 06 - 03:58 PM
GUEST,Amos 19 Apr 06 - 01:45 PM
MMario 19 Apr 06 - 12:27 PM
GUEST,Gluon 19 Apr 06 - 12:23 PM
MMario 19 Apr 06 - 10:53 AM
Acme 19 Apr 06 - 10:36 AM
MMario 19 Apr 06 - 09:28 AM
Acme 19 Apr 06 - 12:20 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 06 - 10:54 PM
Amos 18 Apr 06 - 07:03 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 06 - 02:44 PM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 02:03 PM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 06 - 10:57 AM
Amos 18 Apr 06 - 09:36 AM
MMario 18 Apr 06 - 08:56 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 06 - 08:54 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:26 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:23 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:23 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:20 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:18 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:15 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:14 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:11 AM
Acme 18 Apr 06 - 12:10 AM
Rapparee 17 Apr 06 - 10:45 PM
beardedbruce 17 Apr 06 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 06 - 10:03 PM
beardedbruce 17 Apr 06 - 10:00 PM
Amos 17 Apr 06 - 09:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 06 - 09:49 PM
beardedbruce 17 Apr 06 - 09:42 PM
beardedbruce 17 Apr 06 - 09:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 06 - 09:20 PM
Amos 17 Apr 06 - 08:26 PM
Acme 17 Apr 06 - 08:21 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 06 - 03:54 PM
Acme 17 Apr 06 - 03:23 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 06 - 02:58 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 11:21 AM

The Internet was created about 1969 as a project for ARPA and was called the ARPAnet; contrary to popular opinion it was NOT intended to allow the US military to communicate in a nuclear war, but the maximize the use of expensive computers. The World Wide Web, which is part of the Internt was invented about 1990 (about the same time I was told to be a System Administrator).

You had a server with a speed of "full sop"??? I did a full sop once and woke up with a terrific hangover, a wrecked car, a black eye, and other Things To Numerous To Mention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 10:36 AM

I was at a restauraunt recently and I am pretty sure the server was older then 25. Possibly older then god. He had two speeds, full sop and reverse. I'm not sure if he is on the internet or not - never got a chance to ask him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 10:20 AM

Rapaire, libraries aren't what they used to be. I spend as much time promoting events and designing web pages and putting out various Internet related fires as I do simply sitting and writing about library stuff like books and where we're moving them to store the ones that aren't used so much any more but we still want to keep.

I think "25-year-old" and "servers" together are an oxymoron. There weren't servers 25 years ago. There wasn't an Internet 25 years ago. Twenty-five years ago I was 26 and hadn't a thought of owning anything more than my Olivetti portable typewriter.

There were Quarks, but we just didn't know about them. That's different.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 06 - 09:13 AM

Today I will report to the local library consortium the status of the plans to move seven (7) servers from the public library in Idaho Falls fifty miles south to my place during the first week of May (this is not my idea, but IF, where the servers have been for 25 years, has pulled out of the consortium). Tomorrow morn I will present a program entitled something like "The economic value of libraries to a community" at the regional meeting of the Idaho Library Association.

The servers that are being moved are about three years old -- we haven't been using the same servers for a quarter century.

The first was not my idea, but it was either house the consortium servers or buy my own and house them. And it was either the second or be the announcer for the "fashion show" at lunch (or face The Wrath of My Staff).

I hope to get up the to Olympic Pennisula later this Summer, if all goes well. If all doesn't go well I'll simply run screaming through the streets of town.

Oh, dang...still got those two articles to write, and they want more than the words "a" and "the".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 11:37 PM

The world was a map of highways,
And routes across the skies,
And places to go and things to see,
For those who but had eyes
And some traveled far, and some farther still,
To hear, and enjoy and look!
But the Library Man kept working,
Working, working!
The library man kept working
Behind his piles of books.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 11:20 PM

Last night I went to fencing. Tonight I went to the model railroad club. And tomorrow night...I will go shopping with my wife. BUT on Friday! on Friday I'm going to hear Natalie McMasters down in SLC. And on Saturday night I'm going to hear N McM again. And on Sunday I'm sending my wife off to DC and a week later to Blighty. I, on the other hand, will be at work.

Until May 10, when I fly to St. Louie. And on the 16th I will return to SLC at 8:05 p.m., pick up Pat and her parents at the SLC train station at 11:33 p.m., and drive them back to Pocatello on the 17th and they'll be here for a couple of weeks. Pat trains back to Chicago with them, and then goes on to Columbus, OH for a quilt show, back to Valparaiso, IN for another quilt show, and then she flies back to SLC and the spends the next two months in recovery.

But I will be working...working...working.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 10:43 PM

I get 120two two tutu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 08:25 PM

12021

Another palindromic post bites the dust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 07:49 PM

Rapaire reveals the truth
For all the world to see,
'Tis plainly shown in sooth,
A saucy varlet he.
And should he sauce too much,
And cause a grave-y frown,
Lettuce be kind, and grate, and give
Only a dressing down.

Poems On Naughty Children
Rudyard Snickerson,
Garden City, Long Island, 1966


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 04:01 PM

There's no plaice like MOAB for the Hollandaise,
No matter how far away you roam,
When you long for the sunshine of a friendly glaze,
For the Hollandaise you can't beat Mom, Sweet Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 03:58 PM

there's no place like MOAB
there's no place like MOAB
there's no place like MOAB
there's no place like MOAB
there's no place like MOAB
there's no place like MOAB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 01:45 PM

Classic example of red-shift phase-locking.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 12:27 PM

he's forever quarking rainbows!
Rainbows quarking through the air


It must be mating time for Duck-dogs. Anyone seen Boson?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 12:23 PM

Quark!


Quark!


Quark! 


Quark!


Quark!


Quark!


Quark!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 10:53 AM

It's a slightly bitter "green" (though it's a red "green") - but caramelizes a bit with the cooking so has almost a sweet/bitter flavour - hard to describe. we stole the recipe from a 'Top Chef' episode.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 10:36 AM

Wow. I have a recipe from Martha Stewart Living that has herbs and olive oil and radicchio pressed into the top of a yeast flat bread dough and baked. I've never eaten it, but these recipes sound wonderful. What does radicchio taste like?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 09:28 AM

If you grow radii you do have to make sure that no one sneaks over your garden wall and steals them for their pregnant wife - because then tradition insists you take their newborn and lock her in a tower without any doors. a major pain.

and now for some food content. We had this over Easter weekend.

Bacon Wrapped Radichio with gorgonzola brulee:

sweat bacon strips until they just begin to colour, but are nowhere near crisp. reserve. Cut two heads of radichio in half pole to pole, and saute cut face down in the bacon grease until the cut faces begin to color up. cool. cut in half again. Any leaves that fall or break off the outside can be bundled together to form additional pieces. (I ended up with ten bundles from 8 quarter heads)

Wrap bacon firmly around radichio. Put in a baking pan and bake at 350 until the bacon begins to crisp. slice gorgonzola and lay on each bcon bundle. broil or bake until cheese melts.

serve - enjoy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 06 - 12:20 AM

We had trouble with cats peeing in the garden last time I tried to grow them. But I bet Gluon could solve that problem in a hurry for me. (I could sell the darned felines as roast meat on a stick after Gluon finished with them).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 10:54 PM

I cubed a radius once. Put it in a salad and it kinda perked the thing up. A Daikon radius is nice in Asian cooking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 07:03 PM

It's not wise to loan starlight.

The interest accumulates at a ruinous rate of .087cx10^-32, I believe, if you include Zack's Constant.

Much better to just give it away, since it refreshes itself as the inverse of the radius cubed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 02:44 PM

Won't you at least have Lone Star light? Or am I thinking of Lone Star Lite?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 02:03 PM

I've finished the work I can do here at the house and now I will go drive through the shimmering heat to the university where we may experience a rolling blackout during a 2pm library staff meeting that is particularly special: we are adjourning to the new Planetarium they built over the last couple of years. It's now the largest in Texas, and this afternoon, it may be the darkest. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 11:44 AM

You're lucky I could do it at all - we hit 100 yesterday, rather early in the season, and it seems TXU electric was a bit stretched so they conducted rolling blackouts in the region. I had to reset all of the clocks a couple of times.

It's supposed to hit 101 today. I have the wading pool set up in the back for the dogs (the pitbull knows the drill, she's in and out of it all day, but the catahoula is shy about the water still. I think she'll catch on, though).

Good stuff, Rap and Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 10:57 AM

Yea, we have walked through the Valley of Twelve,
For we are the meanest bastards in the Valley!


(to paraphrase an old Vietnam saying....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 09:36 AM

Well they busted up the dining room, to make that boiler burn,
They threw in passengers walking sticks, and Grandma's funeral urn,
They tore up every book on board, not just the ones wuz banned,
To make the boiler hotter still, and reach the ole Twelve Grand.

It was straining everybody's brain, and everybody's heart,
And the passengers cried out in fear, "Oh, why'd we ever start?"
They could not face the haunted looks, on the old an' tired hands,
Who staggered on into the night, all bound to make Twelve Grand.

They threw in everything they had! Ole poems from other folks!
Translations out of Babel Fish, and Donnie Osbourne jokes!
They threw in the Old Testament, and the Brotherhood of Man;
They swore they'd burn the train itself, if they could make Twelve Grand.

And when the morning sun came up, bright in the azure sky,
Where cows and chickens all lay flat,
From the wind of her passing by,
There's a smudge of smoke, out over the hill,
Yon toward the Promised Land.
And the MOAB crew take their rest at last,
For they got her past Twelve Grand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 08:56 AM

so good to see such classic posts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 08:54 AM

It should be advertised in Boston, New York, and Buffalo:
'Twas just one brave woman made twelve thousand postings go!

Chorus:

Singing post twelve kay in the morning,
Post twelve kay, heigh-ho!
Clear away Flamenco Ted,
And blow, girls, blow!

They tell you of these other threads a-runnin' in and out,
And say they'll make five hundred thou before they're six months
out.

But when you are below the line, the winds of change do blow;
And damned few threads will then survive 'cause the postings they get slow.

There's Stilly on the quarterdeck a-squintin' at the marks,
And Gluon up aloft above a-lookin' for some quarks.

Then lower down the boats, my girls, and after them we'll travel,
But if you get too near out tails, we'll kick you to the Devil.

When we get home, our voyage done, a hundred thousand posts made fast,
A brimming glass around we'll pass around, and toast our MOAB lass.


                         --Coughman and Heart, 1856


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:26 AM

Je vais au lit maintenant. Vous avez eu une brève histoire d'une partie de repertoir tôt de chanson de marins de la mer de mon père. Le nombre raccommodé est derrière nous et la maman peut cesser de ronger ce Rapaire ou les AMOS va faire quelque chose de idiot comme le battement vers le haut du flamenco Ted derrière la dépendance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:23 AM

MOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:23 AM

The Mermaid

(I do believe this version has been "cleaned up.")

One Friday morn when we set sail
And our ship not far from land,
We there did espy a fair pretty maid,
With a comb and a glass in her hand, her hand, her hand,
With a comb and a glass in her hand.

Chorus:
While the raging seas did roar,
And the stormy winds did blow,
And we jolly sailor boys were up, up aloft,
And the land lubbers lying down below, below, below.

Then up spoke the captian of our gallant ship,
Who at once did our peril see,
I have married a wife in fair London town,
And this night she a widow will be, will be, will be,
And this night she a widow will be.'

And then up spoke the little cabin boy,
And a fair hair'd boy was he;
'I've a father and mother in fair Portsmouth town,
And this night they will weep for me, for me, for me,
And this night they will weep for me.'

Then three times round went our gallant ship.
And three times round went she;
For the want of a lifeboat the both went down,
As she sunk to the bottom of the sea, the sea, the sea,
As she sunk to the bottom of the sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:20 AM

One of the first songs I learned to sing (gotta do something to put this number over. . .)

My father was the keeper of the Eddystone light
And he slept with a mermaid one fine night
Out of this union there came three
A porpoise and a porgy and the other was me!
Yo ho ho, the wind blows free,
Oh for the life on the rolling sea!

One night, as I was a-trimming the glim
Singing a verse from the evening hymn
I head a voice cry out an "Ahoy!"
And there was my mother, sitting on a buoy.
Yo ho ho, the wind blows free,
Oh for the life on the rolling sea!

"Oh, what has become of my children three?"
My mother then inquired of me.
One's on exhibit as a talking fish
The other was served in a chafing dish.
Yo ho ho, the wind blows free,
Oh for the life on the rolling sea!

Then the phosphorus flashed in her seaweed hair.
I looked again, and my mother wasn't there
But her voice came angrily out of the night
"To Hell with the keeper of the Eddystone Light!"
Yo ho ho, the wind blows free,
Oh for the life on the rolling sea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:18 AM

Here's Coleridge, with his special Mudcat poem, calling all ladies with dulcimers!



In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree :
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man

Down to a sunless sea.

So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round :
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree ;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
But oh ! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover !
A savage place ! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover !
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced :
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail :
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean :
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war !


The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves ;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.

It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice !
A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw :
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,

That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome!
those caves of ice !
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware ! Beware !
His flashing eyes, his floating hair !
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:15 AM

I hope Rap and Amos are up and paying attention. It's time for us mid-westerners to quit playing on the computer and head to bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:14 AM

Here's a "Marvelous" poem:


HAD we but world enough, and time,   
This coyness, Lady, were no crime   
We would sit down and think which way   
To walk and pass our long love's day.   
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side         
Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide   
Of Humber would complain. I would   
Love you ten years before the Flood,   
And you should, if you please, refuse   
Till the conversion of the Jews.   
My vegetable love should grow   
Vaster than empires, and more slow;   
An hundred years should go to praise   
Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;   
Two hundred to adore each breast,   
But thirty thousand to the rest;   
An age at least to every part,   
And the last age should show your heart.   
For, Lady, you deserve this state,   
Nor would I love at lower rate.   
But at my back I always hear   
Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;   
And yonder all before us lie   
Deserts of vast eternity.   
Thy beauty shall no more be found,   
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound   
My echoing song: then worms shall try   
That long preserved virginity,   
And your quaint honour turn to dust,   
And into ashes all my lust:   
The grave 's a fine and private place,   
But none, I think, do there embrace.   
Now therefore, while the youthful hue   
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,   
And while thy willing soul transpires   
At every pore with instant fires,   
Now let us sport us while we may,   
And now, like amorous birds of prey,   
Rather at once our time devour   
Than languish in his slow-chapt power.
Let us roll all our strength and all   
Our sweetness up into one ball,   
And tear our pleasures with rough strife   
Thorough the iron gates of life:   
Thus, though we cannot make our sun   
Stand still, yet we will make him run.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:11 AM

THAT'S what you get for poaching Mom's poetry!

(It's better if grilled!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 06 - 12:10 AM

Fishing expedition brought a big one right out of the water. Throw it back now, guys. Back to the bottom you go. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 10:45 PM

I think that you might do well to do a line-by-line analysis. I have been know to fib a little bit....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 10:04 PM

Then there is no need to copy it to "Poetry about Mudcat..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 10:03 PM

Remember what Housman wrote -- and why:

'Terence, this is stupid stuff:        
You eat your victuals fast enough;        
There can't be much amiss, 'tis clear,        
To see the rate you drink your beer.        
But oh, good Lord, the verse you make,              
It gives a chap the belly-ache.        
The cow, the old cow, she is dead;        
It sleeps well, the horned head:        
We poor lads, 'tis our turn now        
To hear such tunes as killed the cow.              
Pretty friendship 'tis to rhyme        
Your friends to death before their time        
Moping melancholy mad:        
Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.'        

Why, if 'tis dancing you would be,              
There's brisker pipes than poetry.        
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,        
Or why was Burton built on Trent?        
Oh many a peer of England brews        
Livelier liquor than the Muse,              
And malt does more than Milton can        
To justify God's ways to man.        
Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink        
For fellows whom it hurts to think:        
Look into the pewter pot              
To see the world as the world's not.        
And faith, 'tis pleasant till 'tis past:        
The mischief is that 'twill not last.        
Oh I have been to Ludlow fair        
And left my necktie God knows where,              
And carried half way home, or near,        
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:        
Then the world seemed none so bad,        
And I myself a sterling lad;        
And down in lovely muck I've lain,              
Happy till I woke again.        
Then I saw the morning sky:        
Heigho, the tale was all a lie;        
The world, it was the old world yet,        
I was I, my things were wet,              
And nothing now remained to do        
But begin the game anew.        

Therefore, since the world has still        
Much good, but much less good than ill,        
And while the sun and moon endure              
Luck's a chance, but trouble's sure,        
I'd face it as a wise man would,        
And train for ill and not for good.        
'Tis true, the stuff I bring for sale        
Is not so brisk a brew as ale:              
Out of a stem that scored the hand        
I wrung it in a weary land.        
But take it: if the smack is sour,        
The better for the embittered hour;        
It should do good to heart and head              
When your soul is in my soul's stead;        
And I will friend you, if I may,        
In the dark and cloudy day.        

There was a king reigned in the East:        
There, when kings will sit to feast,              
They get their fill before they think        
With poisoned meat and poisoned drink.        
He gathered all the springs to birth        
From the many-venomed earth;        
First a little, thence to more,              
He sampled all her killing store;        
And easy, smiling, seasoned sound,        
Sate the king when healths went round.        
They put arsenic in his meat        
And stared aghast to watch him eat;              
They poured strychnine in his cup        
And shook to see him drink it up:        
They shook, they stared as white's their shirt:        
Them it was their poison hurt.        
—I tell the tale that I heard told.              
Mithridates, he died old.








(Haha! Jokes on you! I copied it straight!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 10:00 PM

Amos,

The comment I quoted seems to refer to the poetry that I have posted, from this site. YOU are one of those poets: I see no reason NOT to inflict you on others, who might not come here to MOAB because of the sheer volume of high quality BS presented.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 09:56 PM

Besides, BB, just because someone says your poetry is bad is no reason not write it -- in fact it's more reason TO write it. And it seems to be growing and improving, so why let yourself be chivvied out of it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 09:49 PM

If you feel they're worthy, Bruce, you are, of course, free to post them. But bear in mind that there are only a handful of regular posters to this thread and we are the only ones who are able to fully appreciate the transcendent qualities of MOABic verse. NonMOABites are more likely to break out in hives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 09:42 PM

"The mere fact of having published a book of second rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the poetry he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realise." ~Oscar Wilde


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 09:37 PM

"I just can't make myself generate more bad poetry to inflict upon the world. Bearded Bruce is doing enough of that already. Yada yada yada."

So, I should NOT post these works that the artists here have written?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 09:20 PM

Hi Mom,

I have a question. Why is it that when friends ask me if I saw something on television and I tell them I don't watch television they say, "Oh yeah, that's right," then, five minutes later they'll ask if I saw something else on television?

Do I go around asking people if they read something on the Mudcat Cafe'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 08:26 PM

Only nineteen more! Hear that boiler roar,
Flying past the 9-9-2
With a hiss of steam, and a whistle scream,
It's the MOAB coming through!!!!
Now Rapaire my brag, and Rapaire may steal,
But we'll let them trifles stand;
Cuz when yer making time,what yer needs is Rhyme,
Headin' out to the old Twelve Grand.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 08:21 PM

I looked in, left, but have come back to say SOMETHING just to advance the cause, so to speak.

I just can't make myself generate more bad poetry to inflict upon the world. Bearded Bruce is doing enough of that already. Yada yada yada.

Looks like tomorrow sometime, unless there's a flurry of Monday night visits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 03:54 PM

Gather ye BS while ye may,        
Old MOAB is still a-flying:        
And this same truth that smiles to-day        
To-morrow may be lying.        

The glorious lamp of heaven, our Mom
The higher she 's a-getting,        
And not one of her kids is dumb,        
And never she'll be setting.        

That age was good which is the first,        
When youth and blood were warmer;        
But being spent, she had not cursed        
And mellow now, a charmer.         

Then be not coy, but waste your time,        
And while ye may, post MOAB,        
For having lost but once your prime,        
Ye may be forever slow, Ab.

            --Robert Hatrack: Pomes Old and Newish (Hartford: Blavatsky and Smith, 1878)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 03:23 PM

[sigh]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 06 - 02:58 PM

Well, Khandu handed us his orders in 'bout posting BS
Sayin', "Y'all post it here all the time.
And we'll make a thousand or maybe even higher
Iffen you post your BS in time."

Well, engineer Amos said to his handsome hunky fireman
"Shovel on a little more coal,
And when we cross that five kay posting, well,
You can watch Old MOAB roll."

It's a mighty hard road from five to twelve thousand
A road with a seven kay grade.
It was on that grade that he blew out his keyboard,
You can see what a jump she made.

He was goin' down the grade making 100 posts each week
When his whistle broke into a scream,
He was found in the wreck with his hand on the throttle,
He was scalded to death by the steam.

Now a telegram came into Mom's mortgaged farmhouse
And this is what it said:
That brave engineer that was drivin' ol' MOAB
Is layin' in the 'leven thousands, dead.

Now listen, all you ladies, you must all take a warning,
From this story a lesson learn:
Never speak harsh words to your true lovin' geek boy,
He may leave you and never return.

          --Songs of the MOAB, Toepicker, and Sandy Fay (Allen Himax, ed.; Washington, DC: Elsie Publications, 1903).


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