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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 19 Dec 05 - 11:17 AM
Amos 19 Dec 05 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 19 Dec 05 - 09:01 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 05 - 08:41 PM
Amos 18 Dec 05 - 06:01 PM
Bunnahabhain 18 Dec 05 - 01:53 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 05 - 11:15 PM
Little Hawk 17 Dec 05 - 11:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Dec 05 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 05 - 09:36 PM
Little Hawk 17 Dec 05 - 07:24 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 05 - 07:20 PM
Amos 17 Dec 05 - 12:26 PM
Bunnahabhain 17 Dec 05 - 11:44 AM
Amos 17 Dec 05 - 10:48 AM
Acme 17 Dec 05 - 10:32 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 05 - 10:27 AM
Bunnahabhain 16 Dec 05 - 07:05 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 06:31 PM
Amos 16 Dec 05 - 06:28 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 04:19 PM
Bunnahabhain 16 Dec 05 - 03:57 PM
Amos 16 Dec 05 - 03:11 PM
Acme 16 Dec 05 - 01:30 PM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 05 - 11:59 AM
Amos 16 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 11:39 AM
MMario 16 Dec 05 - 10:27 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 05 - 10:13 AM
Amos 16 Dec 05 - 10:05 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 09:24 AM
MMario 16 Dec 05 - 09:16 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 05 - 09:06 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Dec 05 - 05:07 AM
Amos 15 Dec 05 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 09:48 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Dec 05 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 02:02 PM
Acme 15 Dec 05 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 12:18 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Dec 05 - 12:07 PM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 11:54 AM
GUEST,Greg T. 15 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 15 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Dec 05 - 10:29 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 10:26 AM
Amos 15 Dec 05 - 10:20 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Dec 05 - 09:47 AM
MMario 15 Dec 05 - 09:33 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 11:17 AM

Rap, I think you should let BillD and Ferrara know you'll be there. Bobert used to be closer by than he is know, but Donuel and others are in the area.

Hey, BWL, good to see you. I hope you'll favor us with a description of your seasonal exploits when you next visit. Have you finished moving out the dead and down timber?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 09:35 AM

Stay away from the Mall, too, big guy.

They are very suspicious there of folks who seem to know a lot of stuff.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 09:01 AM

Dear Mom,

I'm going away on Friday and I'll be back on the 28th. I'll stay in touch, Mom, but I'm going to DC for a visit. Yes, yes, I know that you've told me and warned me about the sort of people that live there and that I shouldn't associate with such people as pimps and politicians, but I'm going to go see my wife's family and they're okay. I'll stay away especially from such sinks of sin and dissipation as 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and the Hoover Building and the Bureau of Engraving and Printing and the Reagan Office Building and the House and Senate Office Buildings. I promise, cross my heart and hope to die.

In the meantime, get back up where you belong!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 05 - 08:41 PM

I'll be in SF in February. Can you bring the house around so I can see it?

If that doesn't work for you, I'll be in Nashville in March....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 05 - 06:01 PM

This house is now done. It has been weeks of backbreaking effort. The bedroom furniture is in; the new floors are down; the carpets are in place. Every file in my old desk has been exhumed and shuffled, and half of them sent to their maker. The garage has been emptied and scrubbed and restored to plain order. The vacuuming is done. The kitchen is clean. THe tree is up. The lights are on. The music is playing and the coffee is warm. Feel free to drop by!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 18 Dec 05 - 01:53 PM

Blame Shatner. He's an omnipresent force for wooden acting , and worse...

Someone mentioned that it's almost 7 months since a new Shatner thread appeared. Is Little Hawk OK?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 11:15 PM

Blame Canada, I say!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 11:06 PM

They used to have gunsels in Schenectady. If you read Chongo's first adventure on this forum, you will note that he takes on Big Daddy Malone, a psychotic Orangutan gang leader from Schenectady with many gorilla gunsels at his command. Big Daddy was famous for driving his victims mad by singing "Big Rock Candy Mountain" and other such songs in a rich tenor whilst playing the banjo. Upon release from prison he vanished, but rumour has it that he re-emerged with an overall body shave as the renowned folksinger Burl Ives, having probably done away with the real Burl Ives. If it is true, then this vicious beast got away with his impersonation of Ives for many years. Blame it on Schenectady, I say!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 09:40 PM

If a collection of agents is called an agency, why isn't a collection of farms called a farmacy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 09:36 PM

Do they have gunsels in Schenectady?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 07:24 PM

I have just one word for you. One word...























Schenectady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 07:20 PM

It has become necessary for me to Do Something that always gives me pause. Something that borders between the pleasant and the unpleasant. Something, however, that is far, far superior to such horrors as visiting New York City or Los Angeles, but which will take me from my Little Sod Shanty On The Claim and throw me, a simple, innocent, barefoot boy with cheeks of tan, into the hustle-bustle and hurdy-gurdy of a Big City. Indeed, I must spend a week in one of the most sophisticated, most urban, and most urbane cities in the Whole Wide World.

A city I have visited a few times before.

A city renowned for its cuisine, its museums, its music, its poetry, and liberalism.

Yes, I must visit the City of the Golden Gate, the City of Hills, that little burg by the Bay, the home of Fishermen's Wharf, of Alcatraz, of Ferlinghetti and the Purple Onion, of the Presdio and Haight and Ashbury and Castro Street and the Embarcadero.

I will, during the first full week of February, 2006, be attending classes in San Francisco.

Near to Grant Avenue.

San Francisco.

California.

USA.

Gonna be tough, visiting one of my favorite cities in the whole world again...I have to leave my matched set of ivory-handled Colt .45s back home in Idaho, and I just don't know what I'll do if some would-be gunsel decides to see if she's faster.

Gonna be tought, but at least someone else will be paying for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 12:26 PM

There was a man once had an a opportunity to walk alongside the Devil for a while, exchanging thoughts. As they rambled and discussed, they saw another man far down the road who stopped, leaned over and picked something up.

The Devil started chuckling, and his companion asked him what he was laughing about.

"That fellow down the road there," Satan replied. "He's just discovered Truth."

"Well, why should that make you laugh?", asked his companion. "I'd think it would be a set-back for you to have someone discover Truth!"

"No, well, ya see...", replied the Prince of Darkness, "I'm going to help him organize it."

The Merriest of Christmases to all good MOABites and true, wherever you may wander.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 11:44 AM

Now be nice to the women and they'll be nice to you (if you know what I mean, heh heh heh) even if you're one of those Scots "men" who wear a skirt.

Oh I am nice to them, I am,. In fact, I'm making wassail for the party this evening, and a non-alcoholic one, just to be nice.

I just knows she doesn't read MOAB...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 10:48 AM

That doesn't sound all that nice. Why would one marry a devil?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 10:32 AM

I read or heard a story some time ago about an old-time church in which the devil got into the pulpit disguised as the pastor one Sunday morning. He harangued the congregation with invective and vitreol and by ones and twos the faithful soon abandoned their place of worship--all but one old man sitting near the front.

The devil stepped down from the pulpit and addressed the old man, asking if he knew who he was. The old man assured the devil that he recognized him.

"And you're not afraid of me?" asked the Devil?

"Hell, no. I'm married to your sister!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 10:27 AM

Why you pickin' on the women? Do you not honor (or honour, in your case) the sex that gave you birth? The gentler sex, who drove the sassenach out of Scotland? Who inspired such Scottish heroes as Robert the Bruce, William Wallace, Sawney Bean, and The MacGregor? Where would Scotland be were it not for such as Flora MacDonald and Mary Tudor? For that matter, where would Scotland be without women?

Just a barren and blasted land, that's where. Uninhabitated. So there.

Now be nice to the women and they'll be nice to you (if you know what I mean, heh heh heh) even if you're one of those Scots"men" who wear a skirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 07:05 PM

Now now, dragging up old political and religious bigotry is a bad idea. Stick with safer topics.
Child 278, with bounce....

There was an old man in Devon did dwell,
and he had a wife, ands she gave him hell.

...assorted other trouble...

They say that the women are worse than the men,
They went down to hell , and came back again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 06:31 PM

Up the long ladders and down the short ropes
Ta hell with King Billy and God Bless the Pope,
If that doesn't do it we'll tear him in two
And send him to Hell with his red, white and blue!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 06:28 PM

Up a long ladder, down a short rope;
Here's to King Billy and to hell wit da Pope!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 04:19 PM

Well, in that case:

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop Of Rome And Vicar Of Jesus Christ; Successor Of St. Peter, Prince Of The Apostles; Supreme Pontiff Of The Universal Church; Patriarch Of The West; Servant Of The Servants Of God; Primate Of Italy; Archbishop And Metropolitan Of The Roman Province; Sovereign Of Vatican City State.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 03:57 PM

Better than our familiy's seemingly favourite use of scrabble, namley winding up dyslexics...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 03:11 PM

A brilliant use of Scrabble, I must say, Mag! :)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 01:30 PM

You can't use proper names in Scrabble. Not unless you're playing something like our home-grown modified game that we call Scribble. (In that one you get extra points if you fetch glasses of water or snacks for your mom or sibling, and you lose points for arguing. Rude words and proper nouns are allowed, and we play off of the edge of the board. The letters of two games are combined and the kids commingle their letters and take turns laying them down. They play opposite me, and if you haven't guessed by now, this was developed to encourage cooperation. It usually has a residual effect for several days after the game.)

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 11:59 AM

Yea well, we've got.......

His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, OM, AK, QSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland.

How's that for a Scrabble score??
G ☺


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM

Or José Carlos Ribeiro de Toledo y de Sant'Anna Vargas for short...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 11:39 AM

Actually, we wanted to name him "Yeshua ben RalphandVanessa of Michigan", but it was kinda long, especially when you got the middle name in there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 10:27 AM

Ten-four (hundred) good buddy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 10:13 AM

Round figures are so attractive, don't you think?
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 10:05 AM

I don't see why -- it's a popular name in some circles. There's no accounting for people's buttons, though.

I always thought Areola would be a nice name for a girl.

Congratulations to you avuncular celebrants!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 09:24 AM

I shall become a great-uncle for a second time any day now. Xavier is almost two, and Andrew is on the way.

I've been holding out for Christmas, like his grandfather. We want to name the kid "Jesus." For some reason his parents are opposed to this....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 09:16 AM

A marriage ceremony effects M-I-L's the way the full moon does werewolves - only the effect is permanent. *grin*

Did I mention I have become a great-uncle again? Rowan was born last friday - 19 inches, 5 lbs, 14 oz. Her big sister Gaia is very proud, Daddy survived the experience (though still has a dazed expression on his face when he sees her) and Uncle MMario got to hold her for three hours last night!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 09:06 AM

I live about 2,000 miles from my mother-in-law. We have always lived at least 10 driving hours away. This is my wife's idea, and has been ever since about 1966 when she left the effete East for the burly, brawling, hairy chested, Midwest -- specifically, St. Louis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 05:07 AM

Anybody told the denizens of Moab Utah, that people are plotting their demise?
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:48 PM

Life is not a comic strip. As it happens, I get along perfectly well with my highly skilled and hard working MIL, as long as the dosage is kept small.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:48 PM

Yes. They do. They become terrible monsters to whom their daughters are always running at the slightest hint of trouble. Then they come and visit and carp and criticize the whole time.

Just check any comic strip or movie....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:01 PM

All this talk of family got me thinking....

Do mothers in law undergo an unusual change at the time of their daughters wedding?
It's just that the one I might get, assuming everything carries on for a few more years, I seem to get on rather well with. And the various other bits of family seem to get on fine as well, and have done in some cases since before either of us were born.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 02:02 PM

Moe Moab lives just down the street.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 01:06 PM

But should our precious Mother get axed due to superstition or rumor, we need don't want to scatter our precious BS resources, so the suggestions are very useful. Son or Daughter of MOAB has to hit the ground running. Or. . .

Mother Of the Mother of all BS could be MoMOAB, or could must be MOM for short.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 12:18 PM

What it MEANS is that time's a-wastin'! We've got to get going, flinging more BS! This is our chance!! Our moment!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 12:07 PM

That would make MOAB just over half of one percent of the Whole Mudcat.

It sorts of puts everything in perspective really, like staring up into a starry sky, or looking out to the horizion hand in hand with someone you love. It just feels right, without actually accomplishing anything at all...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:54 AM

yup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Greg T.
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM

You sure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:49 AM

about 1.6 million records - not counting PM's etc. give or take a few tens of thousands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM

A small library near here has about 63,000 item and patron records in its database -- not to mention the records for over 250,000 circulations, book holds, and god alone knows how many overdue notices and "unresolved" records. All told, there are probably damn near a million records in it.

All in SQL, all retrievable, and the system runs accurately and fast.

I won't even try to guess how many data pieces WE have, but I have about times more items records ALONE.

MOAB could easily go to 25K or more and shouldn't harm the servers at all (assuming there are no other problems).

It's just another manifestation of envy, one of the Seven Capital Sins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:29 AM

Friend of mine used to call his MIL 'The Exocet' on the grounds that he knew she was coming, but there was fuck all he could do about!
G.

LOBSTERS =   Leave Our BS Thread Extant Rotten Sods


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:26 AM

well - to placate the Ferengi out there - why not make it:

Mother In-Law of All B.S. - thus MILOABS - pronounced "My Lobes"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 10:20 AM

I don't get the thinking on this; we have long provided the Gold Standard of stress testing for all Mudcat server software improvements, and anyway, it's only eleven thousand items in a databse. Come on!

But I think Mother of all BS In Law might be nice (MOABIL).

Mother in law!
Mother in law!
Mother in law!
Mother in law!
The worst person I know,
Mother in law.
(Mother in law!)
She worries me so
Mother in law,
mother in law!

If she leaves us alone
We could have a happy home
Sent from down below
Mother in law,
mother in law!

Mother in law,
mother in law!


Satan should be her name
To me they're about the same
Everytime I open my mouth
Steps in trying to put me out
How could you stood so low

Mother in law,
mother in law!
Mother in law,
mother in law!

....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:47 AM

Step Mother of all BS threads? SMOAB
Mother Superior of all BS Threads? MSOAB
Son of all BS threads SOABS
Hands off our MOAB HOOMOAB

G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Dec 05 - 09:33 AM

well - if they do shutdown Mom, we'll just have make a part two - "MOAB after the divorce", or something...


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