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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 05 May 05 - 11:42 PM
Rustic Rebel 05 May 05 - 08:23 PM
Rustic Rebel 05 May 05 - 08:17 PM
Amos 05 May 05 - 06:46 PM
Acme 05 May 05 - 04:48 PM
Rapparee 05 May 05 - 02:27 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 May 05 - 01:09 PM
GUEST,MMario 05 May 05 - 12:03 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 May 05 - 11:42 AM
GUEST,Amos 05 May 05 - 11:40 AM
GUEST 05 May 05 - 11:39 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 May 05 - 11:35 AM
GUEST,Amos 05 May 05 - 11:19 AM
GUEST,MMario 05 May 05 - 09:14 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 05 May 05 - 09:09 AM
Rapparee 04 May 05 - 10:31 PM
Acme 04 May 05 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 04 May 05 - 09:36 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 04 May 05 - 09:10 PM
Rapparee 04 May 05 - 02:03 PM
Acme 04 May 05 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 04 May 05 - 01:19 PM
GUEST,MMario 04 May 05 - 12:56 PM
Rapparee 04 May 05 - 12:52 PM
Amos 04 May 05 - 08:56 AM
Acme 03 May 05 - 07:27 PM
Rapparee 03 May 05 - 06:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 May 05 - 06:29 PM
GUEST,Liza 03 May 05 - 06:05 PM
Acme 03 May 05 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 03 May 05 - 12:56 PM
GUEST,MMario 03 May 05 - 12:32 PM
Acme 03 May 05 - 12:07 PM
GUEST,ferds 03 May 05 - 09:36 AM
GUEST,Amos 03 May 05 - 08:08 AM
Donuel 02 May 05 - 12:15 PM
GUEST,MMario 02 May 05 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 02 May 05 - 11:26 AM
GUEST 02 May 05 - 11:24 AM
Acme 02 May 05 - 11:11 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 May 05 - 11:02 AM
Acme 02 May 05 - 10:59 AM
Amos 02 May 05 - 10:51 AM
Amos 02 May 05 - 10:50 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 May 05 - 09:59 AM
Amos 02 May 05 - 09:46 AM
GUEST 02 May 05 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 02 May 05 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 02 May 05 - 09:24 AM
GUEST,MMario 02 May 05 - 09:18 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:42 PM

7640 is divisible by 5, yeilding 1528. And everyone knows that in 1528
Alvar Nunez Cabeza de Vaca, survivor of an ill-fated attempt to
conquer Florida and the southeast, was shipwrecked on Galveston Island off the Texas coast and began his eight year odyssey as one of the first
Europeans to set foot in the American West.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 May 05 - 08:23 PM

PS. I believe that last post had to have had a significant meaning in mathmatical terms. I don't know what that meaning could be, but it was post 7640. No '5' in it, but posted on 5/5/05. There must be a mystical 5 in there somewhere?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 05 May 05 - 08:17 PM

As I pulled out of my driveway this, cool, misty morning, I was witness to a beautiful blonde stallion mounting an equally beautiful blonde mare,and thought to myself,
Oh, Mother, Ooo..Mother...
Oh Yes!! It's the Mother's Birthday!!
Happy Birthday Mother, Here's 'Mud' in your eye!


(I didn't miss it this year. Last year I was a day late. Page 93 descending, Amos posted the 3000 post to celebrate one year and MOAB became an official member to Mudcat Cafe. Time sure flies when your flinging the bullshit.)

I'll have to go drink one to MOAB at the tavern, to see what the hell your bullshittin' about Amos....See Ya there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 05 - 06:46 PM

The last post in my name, complaining of pretentiousness, was not by me, but by some half-brained idiot who thought it would be cute to take advantage of a system failure to steal my ID, a pusillanimous minicephalic wanker if ever there was.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 May 05 - 04:48 PM

Now that it's opened for MOMs birthday bash, the Mudcat Tavern has potential to get as sticky as it has ever been in it's entire history. Let's hope the giant squid stays away this time, or the ensuing slime/sticky trail will be like Nads' Central.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 05 - 02:27 PM

And if it happens again...not even God can help you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 May 05 - 01:09 PM

The last post under my nom-de-claviers was not done by me. I rarely, if ever, use the word "wankers." I'd use the term "jerkoffs" since I'm not in the UK.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 May 05 - 12:03 PM

inevitable, really - but surely just a phase?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:42 AM

Yes Amos, we do appear to have turned into a brace of total wankers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:40 AM

What a load of self centred bollocks this thread has become. Pretentious? Moi?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:39 AM

define "early"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:35 AM

My biological mother set me out on the porch one night when I was four months old and put the empty milk bottles to bed. I was discovered by a roving pack of timber wolves, who raised me until they became extinct in Illinois. I was then adopted, at the age of eight years, by a group of nomadic debutantes who taught me about Life and Art and Everything, eventually fostering me to the Ard Ri, Aodh I (called Ruadh), for my training as a warrior, sage, and poet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 05 May 05 - 11:19 AM

I was NOT telling lies, Stilly, and why should you be complaining about my cutting you in on the legacy, in rebuttal of Rapaire's "mammy's favourite chile" syndrome. Everyone knows this is an aberrant, pre-pubescent fantasy complex with the potential; of long-lasting psychosis if not outgrown early in life.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 May 05 - 09:14 AM

HA! Little you know Rapaire! Our MOM-MOAB is at the new SPA section of NYCFTTS enjoying herself before she goes to the party at the Tavern! So she's not even home!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 05 May 05 - 09:09 AM

Ha! See, Mom? What did I tell you?

I am the very first person to post to you on your birthday! Nobody else cares, and that's why you love me best. Happy Birthday to my very favorite Mother from her very favorite child.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 05 - 10:31 PM

Happy, Happy Birthday, Mom, from the kid you've always loved best.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 May 05 - 10:19 PM

Hey, Mom--Happy Birthday in a couple of hours! I have to go to bed soon (though I may tiptoe over to the Mudcat Tavern before I finally turn off the 'puter) but I wanted to tell you how glad I am that you're our MOAB Mom!

(Amos is over in the tavern telling lies about you--please tell him he isn't getting all of your galactic loot and leftover blueberries when you're gone!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 05 - 09:36 PM

Ah, but you should read it in the original version. The one that was published a couple years before the "commercial" version. It's quite hard to find; some universities might have it, or the very large public libraries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 May 05 - 09:10 PM

"The Crying of Lot 49"? Kid stuff! Real men (and women) read "Gravity's Rainbow"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 05 - 02:03 PM

Or "The Crying of Lot 49" by Thomas Pynchon?

Or "One Hundred Years of Solitude" by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez?

Or "Moby-Dick" by Herman Melville?

Or "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien?

Or "The Secret Sharer" by Joseph Conrad?

Or "Candy" or "Lolita" or "Fanny Hill" or...never mind, I'm too excited to go on now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 May 05 - 01:55 PM

Or Dr. Strangelove by Peter George?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 05 - 01:19 PM

Hmmm...ever read "Strange Interlude" by Eugene O'Neill?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 04 May 05 - 12:56 PM

Amos - botox injections might help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 05 - 12:52 PM

I believe it was in the movie "Mr. Roberts": the sailors were on an unarmed boat when they were confronted with a Japanese submarine or aircraft or something.

"What do we do now?"

"Commence smilling and waving."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 05 - 08:56 AM

I began my travails in the dusty bowels of Gummint yesterday -- a huge series of converted hangars down on the Pacific Highway, where the Atlas missile used to be built, cavernous four-story high ceilings, steel girders as wide as your back and gigantic steel rolling doors about twenty feet high to let the giant carriages carrying the Atlas out. But now, it is all a cubicle farm with endless miles of Ethernet cabling and the air filled with a sort of machine-like process-talk which typifies middle management in large bureaucracies. It is not a bad place, really, but it is redolent with the sort of lifeless exhalations of people who have had too much administration, and sold their souls for it. I am joining them for a month or two. I must be careful not to laugh, or stand out too much. I need to practice my carefully intelligent but content face.

Sigh....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 05 - 07:27 PM

I've been making guacamole for several weeks now, but mine is in the freezer. If you run out, let me know and I'll thaw some.

Do you have a good source of chips to go with the guac?

I'm planning to bring a lot of Negra Modelo to go with this. And how's about a nice batch of fajitas on the grill (chicken and beef both, please).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 05 - 06:43 PM

Who, oh who, will open the Mother's Birthday Y Cinco De Mayo Tavern? Are the mariachis ready? Are the frijoles ready? Is MOAB decked out in her finest clothes and ready to git down an' party?

I've taken the liberty of ordering a little guacamole and got a good deal on avocados at the same time. Also some raspberry jello and creme fraiche.

If nobody opens the Tavern the truck drivers have been instructed to dump it in the parking lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 May 05 - 06:29 PM

Oh boy! Just two more days 'til Mom's birthday! So many things to do in so little time!

1) Get tux from cleaners.
2) Buy new tophat.
3) Polish chrome on Bentley.
4) Find out what spats are and see if they should be washed, polished, or ironed.
5) Order semi-load of extra spicy Buffalo wings.
6) Have portable toilets delivered.
7) Rent golf cart. (No good reason. They're just fun.)
8) Order two full-sized Marshall stacks and a shit-load of effects pedals.
9) Put new strings on Strat.
10) Learn to play "Happy Birthday".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Liza
Date: 03 May 05 - 06:05 PM

Hi! I'm Liza! That's with a long "i" as in Ms Minelli. Did I spell that correctly? Who cares? I never cared for the bitch anyway, Her mom was too cool, but Liza was just a wannabee. Wow! I'm saying "was" as if the bitch was dead or something. She's not, is she? I don't know for sure. All I know is, like, when's the last time anyone heard anything from her? Maybe she is dead. Who cares?

Anyway, I'm trying to find my so-called boyfriend Ferd and I heard he was hangin' around here pretending to be an alien or something. Yeah, that's right... Go ahead and say it... "Oh! He's Ferd, and you're Liza! If you have a baby, will you name it Ferd'liza?" Yuck, yuck, har, har. Get a life!

Anyway, if you see that worthless sack of shit, tell him supper's on the table and to get his sorry ass home.

And if this is supposed to be a folk music place, why are there ads for CDs by Yes at the bottom of this page? They so very suck. If they gave, like, an award for stupid songs with lame-ass lyrics there wouldn't be any need for anyone else to attend the ceremony. Just give 'em all to Yes. Wouldn't even have to have a banquet or anything. Just take 'em to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 05 - 05:34 PM

It's five food groups. You forgot chocolate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 05 - 12:56 PM

Maybe, MMario, it depends upon your digestive system. I think a lot of people would be dietary grease, myself. Of course, there are the Four Basic Building Blocks of a good diet: salt, sugar, alcohol, and grease....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 03 May 05 - 12:32 PM

sorry ferds - humans are NOT a significant source of dietary fiber.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 May 05 - 12:07 PM

If ferds are looking for substantial dietary fibre, then may I suggest they start with Mongolia or perhaps the sub-continent of India? Too many twinkies have been consumed by Americans to make them anything more than slick balls of lard. And those who aren't so tubby have been on such protien-rich Atkins diets that they will cause indigestion also.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,ferds
Date: 03 May 05 - 09:36 AM

We are mighty
We are ferds
We eat freds
And different birds.

No more veggies
No more grain
We are ferds
And we're a pain.

We are conquering
Planet Urth
We are ferds
And you are a significant source of dietary fiber.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 03 May 05 - 08:08 AM

Donuel:

Lots of telepathy occurs without hand lifting pen. But I expect doing that would add a good boost of intentionality to the transmission! :)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:15 PM

Amos, the critical step 5 to communicating without words...

Then paint or draw as clearly as you can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 May 05 - 11:40 AM

I keep fogetting to sign my posts!

Do you think a rosary made of meatballs and sausage is a bit "too much?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 05 - 11:26 AM

My mask, gloves, and larger bell guard just came. I can hardly wait until Thursday when I can stick people with my sword.

Prise de fer, beat, parry sixte, extend, riposte, and touch!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 02 May 05 - 11:24 AM

I'm very excited really, about my part in the May Faire this year. I think I can do a lot more with "Wolfgang Tuck" then I was able to do last year as "The worlds largest Dwarf - Rumplestiltskin"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 05 - 11:11 AM

You need to do it nip and tuck until it fits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 May 05 - 11:02 AM

my burning question of the day. - How big should I make my hood for my costume as "Friar Wolfgang Tuck"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 May 05 - 10:59 AM

Good for you, Amos. Now back to your droll musings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 05 - 10:51 AM

Let not the rapacious flaming Ted maintain
That he can dominate our brains
No, let him rather yield his ghost
I have the 7600th post!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 05 - 10:50 AM

An' you would see a granfaloon
Remove the skin from a toy balloon!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 May 05 - 09:59 AM

but concieving of something you absolutly forbid cats to do - and they usually gdet the message immedieatly and then DO IT!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 05 - 09:46 AM

Instructions on communicating without words:

1. Choose a safe and quiet place fromw hich to communicate, one where you feel wholly comfortable.

2. For beginners, choose as a receiver of your communication someone with whom you feel close and have a lot of affinity for. It can be someone nearby or far away, as this sort of communication is non-local; however you may find you believe it easier if the recipient is nearby. Get a clear mental impression of that person at his orher present location. Do not quibble about physical accuracy; it is not especially important to the exercise.

3. Conceive of a thought which the other person would find acceptable and hold that thought in your mind.

4. Conceive of a compelling intent to relay that thought to the recipient. Visualizing the person receiving it sometimes aids but is not essential. The action of creating the thought at the receiver's viewpoint is what is important. Conceive of that thought forming in his or her mind.

Repeat until you get a response.

This works on dogs, also. Some cats, as well, although usually do not pay attention.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 02 May 05 - 09:30 AM

lcan we make that "aural" then - because lip reading certainly can be described as "oral" *grin*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 05 - 09:26 AM

I hasten to point out that I'm differentiating between oral, manual, pictographic, written, telephatic, kinetic, and other forms of communication.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 05 - 09:24 AM

Strictly speaking, "non-verbal" would mean "without words" (latin verbum = english word).

I'm not at all sure how you can communicate without words, since each "word" equates to a "concept" you're trying to convey. I don't think it could be done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 May 05 - 09:18 AM

you mean non-verbal communication, don't you? oral would be fine.


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