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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Stilly River Sage 27 Feb 05 - 10:53 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 27 Feb 05 - 10:30 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 27 Feb 05 - 08:53 AM
Amos 27 Feb 05 - 06:11 AM
Teresa 27 Feb 05 - 12:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Feb 05 - 12:37 AM
Amos 27 Feb 05 - 12:18 AM
Acme 26 Feb 05 - 11:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Feb 05 - 11:04 PM
Amos 26 Feb 05 - 10:14 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 05 - 08:35 PM
Amos 26 Feb 05 - 04:17 PM
Little Hawk 26 Feb 05 - 02:26 PM
Acme 26 Feb 05 - 02:22 PM
Amos 26 Feb 05 - 01:39 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 05 - 12:35 PM
Amos 26 Feb 05 - 10:56 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Feb 05 - 10:44 AM
Rapparee 26 Feb 05 - 10:22 AM
Acme 25 Feb 05 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 05 - 12:10 PM
Amos 25 Feb 05 - 11:58 AM
Acme 25 Feb 05 - 11:55 AM
GUEST,MMario 25 Feb 05 - 11:52 AM
Acme 25 Feb 05 - 11:46 AM
Amos 25 Feb 05 - 11:18 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 25 Feb 05 - 10:29 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 05 - 08:56 AM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 06:52 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 05 - 06:24 PM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 05 - 05:57 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 05 - 05:56 PM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 05:56 PM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 05:55 PM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 05:54 PM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 05:53 PM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 05:53 PM
Acme 24 Feb 05 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 05 - 04:12 PM
GUEST,MMario 24 Feb 05 - 02:44 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya 24 Feb 05 - 02:43 PM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 02:27 PM
GUEST,MMario 24 Feb 05 - 01:34 PM
Amos 24 Feb 05 - 01:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Feb 05 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 05 - 12:04 PM
Bunnahabhain 24 Feb 05 - 11:33 AM
Layah 24 Feb 05 - 11:32 AM
Bunnahabhain 24 Feb 05 - 11:28 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Feb 05 - 10:53 AM

I want one of those t-shirts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 27 Feb 05 - 10:30 AM

Bee-dubya-ell is a famous author.

I have just checked in the Dictionary of Anonymous and Pseudononymous Literature (a tome which should be in every home) and found this entry:

Bee-dubya-ell, pseud., fl. late 16th c., still writing today; real name Anthony O'Namuss, writings credited to "Ann O'Namuss." Author of many excellent folk songs, poems, stories, folk tales and scurillous, libelous, ribald, bawdy, disgusting, and pornographic things. Sorry, not dead yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 05 - 08:53 AM

Aw shucks, Amos. I din't really write thet thang. I stoled it off a bafroom wall. It wuz writ right unner whar it sed "Fer uh good time call Rustic Rebel @ 669-6969!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 05 - 06:11 AM

Well, I did that, BWL -- I used one of those bvanjo tunes that you find floating around, kinda like "Old Joe Clark". Goes well, and those are most excellent lyrics, too, I might add. You really have the gift! Vivid and humorous AND scansion too. Wow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 27 Feb 05 - 12:50 AM

I went to the MOAB and all I got was this crumb-y T-shirt?

Ok, never mind. :) :-P

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 05 - 12:37 AM

Okay, put this to music:

I'd rather suck a rat's ass
or eat a peck of dirt
than make up stupid rhymes
'bout fuckin' crumbs upon a shirt.

I'd rather have a cattle prod
inserted in my bum
than generate some drivel
'bout a shirt covered in crumbs.

I'd rather drink raw sewage
from a scabbous leper's shoe
than write of crumbs upon a shirt.
That's one thing I won't do!

Of shirts and crumbs I will not write!
No, not a single word!
I'd rather suck a monkey's nose
and eat a camel turd!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 05 - 12:18 AM

C'mon, BWL -- it's not like this is, like, Tin Pan alley -- this is FOLK music, for cry-i!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 11:45 PM

I don't think the crumbs were fornicating, BWL. On the shirt or anywhere else. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 11:04 PM

I'd rather suck a rat's ass
or eat a peck of dirt
than make up stupid rhymes
'bout fuckin' crumbs upon a shirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 10:14 PM

My lover came to see me;
I served him my very best!
Cappucino and a Scottish scone
Most elegantly pressed

He kissed me before eating
And in a manly show
He shoved that whole scone down his hatch
The whole thing in one go.

The crumbs they flew like fireflies
All across my kitchen floor
His shirtfront with them was covered up
Sure half a pound, or more!

He held me hard when parting
It made my heart to throb
I could scarcely to speak to tell him he
Was a true, God-awful slob.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 08:35 PM

My lover was a dumkopf,
A sloppy little runt,
He drank French Vanilla latte,
With biscotti crumbs down his front


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 04:17 PM

As I walked out one evening,
To a cybernet cafe
A twenty-year-old barista
to me these words did say...
I see you are a dumkopf
Please excuse my being blunt;
For no-one but a dumkopf
Has crumbs all down his front.

....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 02:26 PM

A shitner, a Shatner...
A shaker and a flattener...
I t'ought I saw a wagging jaw...
I wish I had a battener...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 02:22 PM

Several silly songs come to mind, in which the indication of a social outcast is the presence of crumbs on the face or shirt. Be careful that you don't become the subject of note in a new song!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 01:39 PM

Do not delete me, oh, my darling
You made that promise for a date
You know I never will be happy
Until you text-message my cell-456-9778.


Nah, yer right -- it ain't the same, somehow.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 12:35 PM

What a change living here today is from living here a hundred years ago! Back then, a man would put on his hat, buckle on his gun belt, and walk out. Nowadays, a man puts on his hat, hitches up his belt, snaps on his cell phone, and walks out.

"High Noon" it ain't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 10:56 AM

Anyone seen Rapaire? Ma says he walked through the screen door staggering, with his mouth full of cookies and crumbs all over his front. I thought I'd try and round him up before he causes some embarassment in the neighborhood...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 10:44 AM

They bottle 16 year old Irish single malt whiskey in pints? I would think that if one can afford to buy the stuff at all, one can afford to buy the whole damned quart. We're not talking Four Roses or Old Grandad here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 05 - 10:22 AM

Here ya go, Ma! Glad I could prevent your fall. No, no, just some of your homemade cookies and a glass of milk will do. Oh, okay, some 16 year old Irish single malt -- but only one pint!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 02:04 PM

Yes, Amos, just like that. Except I don't write the entire password on the yellow sticky, I just make a note of the part of it that I change each time I change my password. (Once I memorize all of the new ones this latest slip will go in a file.)

Here's an aside, and a little Mudcat heartbreak: The Random Link at the top of the last page:

    Random Link
    Rick & Heather Fielding's Acoustic Workshop - Mon. 9 PM
    http://ciut.fm/
    Here's a link to the RealAudio feed of CIUT in Toronto. Tune in Mondays at 9 PM Eastern Mudcat Time to hear Mudcatteers Rick and Heather Fie...


Ah, well. It's nice to be reminded of old friends.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 12:10 PM

Hey, you want I should send Vinny and Snake down there? Kinda give the punks a lesson, ya know? Little extra-joodishull punishment? They'll need some cement an some rebar. Lemme know. Always glad to help out a friend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 11:58 AM

OK, OK, I didn't realize. So your back ups were right there with the computer, right? Makes sense. Like putting your system password on a little yellow sticky on the edge of the monitor.

I hope they can recover at least the disks. Keep leaning on the damned detective.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 11:55 AM

Just a vulture--does that count?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 11:52 AM

Stilly? There haven't been any big black helicopters hovering in your neighborhood recently have there?

strange clicking noises on your phone?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 11:46 AM

That's not fair! whine . . . sniffle. . .sniffle . . .

I did a good and responsible backup. I'd been doing so for a number of years. The latest form it took was Symantec Ghost and a very tidy little Western Digital 120-gig external hard drive. I did a full backup every couple of months. Not as often as I could have, but I'd have been lucky to have lost only 2 months of material. The trick is to put the backup drive out of sight and away from where it will be picked up with further ransacking of the house, should it occur.

Just so you know. I tried!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 11:18 AM

Grievous, grievous harm. But not by those cheap-date rapscallion thuggerees, dear, but by your own hand. I hate to say it but it is true. He who backeth not up shall inherit the crash. Media failure, power glitch, head dive, RAM corruption, child collision, Cocacola invasion, the causes are myriad and the remedy but one. Call it tough love and get yourself a back up tape drive or an external DVD writer that can store the whole set of data. Get a cron file going or some other automated reminder system. Do it in duplicate and keep one of them off-site (against fire damage). Frequency depends on what you can tolerate losing -- daily or weekly, probably. Rotate seven rewriteable DVDs or tapes daily, or four if weekly (= each gets used once a month, approximately).

Then your heart will be safe from this particular kind of dart evermore.

A

(Not sure if DVDs come in rewriteable format yet or not....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 10:29 AM

The storyline had a whiff of the Greenwood Siding song.

"She took her penknife, keen and sharp
All alone and lonely" etc.

Maybe be "loney." There were some words that didn't sound like usual words in the recording I remember hearing a long time ago.

I've been thinking about piling it higher and deeper myself. And just this morning I realized that when the computer exited stage left my Endnote program and several hundred article, book, and lecture citations went with it--oh, woe is me! I wonder if I have even a fragment of it backed up? How can I be a scholar without my highly detailed bibliography? I guess I need to learn how to download all of that--when I buy the new copy of Endnote.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 05 - 08:56 AM

Lessee...my wife's got herself a Juris Doctor degree, and there's a coupla folks Up On Red Hill who got fuds and I know a few others who are ABDs, so if I invite Richard over, he's got a PhD in Engineering, so with him and my wife in the house I'd have a pair o' docs. So that'd work good, I guess. Or I could jist have her take it with her when she goes ta see the urologist the next time, or better yet, jist drive it out to The Site and let the a-bomb boys work on it, 'cause they all got Pee Haitch Duds out there and hell, I could have six er seven Docs instead of jist a pair of 'em.

Shucks, come ta think of it even the local Head Cop's got a PhD. (Yup, really.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 06:52 PM

Ok, ok...we'll alow the folded line to count as one so you have your quatrain. The misanthropic chronoclasm/anachronism bothers me, though. It is altogether too paradoxical. Call the paradox to paradoctor it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 06:24 PM

"Git stuffed, git stuffed
Ye little brat,
Fer ye know not yer daddy-oh,
But he was one cool hepcat
And wore a reet zoot suit-oh."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 05:58 PM

Oh, nice try there, Master Rapper, but ye need a quatrain for this Wily Auld Witchr's Song. Or so I imagine.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 05:57 PM

Dang, missed again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 05:56 PM

"Git stuffed, git stuffed
Ye little brat,
Fer ye know not yer daddy oh."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 05:56 PM

And the cat did cry and the cat did leap
And all the winds were sighin'
And she leapt back on her broom again
And homeward set a flyin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 05:55 PM

Then the young babe did become a malkin
Grimalkin with eyes a-glowin'
And he called out, oh, mother dear....
My own life you have ruint!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 05:54 PM

Then plucked she a green willow wand
From the tree that there was growin'
And past it o'er that young babes head
And muttered soft and lowin'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 05:53 PM

ANd when she came to the far green fields
That lie beside the river, oh
She lasid the babe all on the bank
Where he did cry and shiver, oh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 05:53 PM

And she picked up her bonny long broom
And her baby under her arm, oh
And she flew above the chimney pots
All across Old London Town oh....l


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 04:52 PM

Since we intend to go on forever, I think we should appropriate a term from mathematics and be MOABius.

Since I'm on dialup, there is no way that I can sweep back in after this post (number 95 in the latest sequence, if my reading here hasn't slowed my response enough to be lagging behind another MOABius or MOABite). Watch out for double-ought poachers like that Flaming FT, cruising through like a tarantula hawk waiting to nail the spider, then move on, leaving the tarantula to deal with the outcome, so to speak. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 04:12 PM

Portents are full of portential, just like Sister Mary Helga-of-the-whips said I was when I was you. We receive periodicals here, some of them only periodically and others episodically; others come only cyclically. Sometimes there are episodes of cyclical portents, and other times there are cycles of portenous (and even pretentious) episodes.

Thanks, I like the whiskies of both the Scots and the Irish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 02:44 PM

you really expect better of a language derived from

Norman men at arms trying to pick up Saxon Barmaids

who were the result of

Saxon warriors trying to pick up Angle bar maids

who were the result of

anglish warriors trying to pick up pictish barmaids

who were the result of

Roman Warriors trying to pick up pictish barmaids

etc etc etc


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 02:43 PM

Well, if we're going to coin a adjectival form to refer to the MOAB, would MOABous be more appropriate?

Then we could refer to our expeditions into the depths of MOABland as "MOABous trips".

And anyway, MOABic sounds tlike the first word in a nasty disease. Poor George! He has MOABic diarrhea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 02:27 PM

Why, then, is there no useage of the word "anatomic" (which looks like it should mean 'not made of atoms')? Nor has there ever been "atomal" (in a manner like an atom ) or anatomal (How unlike an atom's processes...). I have never heard of moleculic (a nano-technology bonding agent) or moleculous either. Portents are portentous, never portentic or portentical. (As the mopther octopus said to her child when he stubbed a toe....portentical.)

We have periodic, but never periodal, but we do have periodicals. We have episodic, but    only rarely episodal, and I have never heard of episodical although I think it is a word.
Yet it is common to use cycle, cyclic and cyclical (but never cyclal).

Who makes up this stuff, anyway?? Talk about MOAB material, these patterns are downright MOABical!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 01:34 PM

here's what I found...

-al:

SUFFIX: Of, relating to, or characterized by the smell of garlic

ETYMOLOGY:
Culinary French;Middle English, from Old French, from Latin -lis, adj. suff.


ETYMOLOGY:
aioli from Middle English -aille, from Old French, from Latin -lia, from neuter pl. of -lis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 01:04 PM

-al:

SUFFIX:
Of, relating to, or characterized by: parental.

ETYMOLOGY:
Middle English, from Old French, from Latin -lis, adj. suff.

SUFFIX:
Action; process: retrieval.

ETYMOLOGY:
Middle English -aille, from Old French, from Latin -lia, from neuter pl. of -lis.

-ic

 
SUFFIX:
1. Of, relating to, or characterized by: seismic. 2. Having a valence higher than that of a specified element in compounds or ions named with adjectives ending in –ous: sulfuric acid. 3. One relating to or characterized by: academic.

ETYMOLOGY:
Middle English, from Old French -ique, from Latin -icus and from Greek -ikos.

(Note that one of -al's definitions IS verbal, in describing action or process.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 12:23 PM

I suspect that the redundant "al" thing is rooted in the fact that quite a few nouns (ie mystic, tropic, topic) end in "ic" and their adjectival forms are created using the "al" suffix (mystical, tropical, topical). The "al" in "poetical", "anatomical" and "sodomitical" have been added by morons. But those morons are probably all dead by now so we can neither shoot them nor ask them to become MOABites.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 12:04 PM

God is a verb. Like in "I God a cold" or "Did you Gid potatoes?" or "I didn't Ged any beer."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 11:33 AM

And Google was advertising Hebrew verb tables, which might have told us, and they've dissappeared now. Or is it Hebrew in which the name of God can never be written, so all sorts of other things are substituted for it, therefore meaning God would not be listed in a verb table? Except a noun would alsoo not be in a verb table....

Somebody please help, prefably in the next hour, or Crystal will be mean to me..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 11:32 AM

If God is a verb, is it transitive or intransitive? Can I God you, or am I just Godding? Maybe it's one of those funny verbs that requires three arguments, I Godded you a spatula.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Feb 05 - 11:28 AM

God must be a proper noun, not a verb. Or is my grammar as far oof as normal?


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