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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Sep 04 - 08:55 AM
Rapparee 02 Sep 04 - 08:46 AM
Rustic Rebel 02 Sep 04 - 12:45 AM
Rapparee 01 Sep 04 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 01 Sep 04 - 10:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Sep 04 - 10:05 PM
khandu 01 Sep 04 - 09:37 PM
Amos 01 Sep 04 - 09:26 PM
Rapparee 01 Sep 04 - 06:49 PM
khandu 31 Aug 04 - 08:19 PM
Tweed 31 Aug 04 - 11:05 AM
Acme 31 Aug 04 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 31 Aug 04 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,MMario 31 Aug 04 - 08:20 AM
Rustic Rebel 31 Aug 04 - 01:12 AM
Rustic Rebel 31 Aug 04 - 01:03 AM
Acme 31 Aug 04 - 12:45 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Aug 04 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 30 Aug 04 - 06:26 PM
Tweed 30 Aug 04 - 05:33 PM
Rapparee 30 Aug 04 - 12:09 PM
Acme 30 Aug 04 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 29 Aug 04 - 09:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Aug 04 - 07:25 PM
GUEST,Obv Tweed 29 Aug 04 - 01:53 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 04 - 10:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 04 - 08:57 PM
khandu 28 Aug 04 - 07:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 04 - 06:11 PM
Acme 28 Aug 04 - 04:27 PM
khandu 28 Aug 04 - 03:43 PM
Rustic Rebel 28 Aug 04 - 03:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 04 - 09:31 AM
Rustic Rebel 28 Aug 04 - 03:18 AM
Rustic Rebel 28 Aug 04 - 03:16 AM
Rustic Rebel 28 Aug 04 - 03:10 AM
Rustic Rebel 28 Aug 04 - 03:04 AM
Rapparee 27 Aug 04 - 06:43 PM
Acme 27 Aug 04 - 06:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Aug 04 - 06:06 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 04 - 05:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 04 - 05:39 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 04 - 05:39 PM
GUEST 27 Aug 04 - 12:44 PM
Acme 27 Aug 04 - 12:25 PM
GUEST 27 Aug 04 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 26 Aug 04 - 10:02 PM
khandu 26 Aug 04 - 09:58 PM
Acme 26 Aug 04 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 26 Aug 04 - 12:19 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 08:55 AM

That's the kind of success that makes all the BS worthwhile. MOAB really really works!! We need some kind of an alma mater song here, doncha think?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 08:46 AM

Wow! He dumps a tree on RR, and so she drops a wire on him. Geez, RR, we used to do that sort of thing in kindergarten. (I went to a very tough school. In first grade we used to steal parts off of moving cars.)

I'm glad he's okay and that you are, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 12:45 AM

I cannot express the love I feel for MOABITES.
You folks are part of my heart and soul.
I was a bit loaded the other night , but you still felt my pain and you still poured your love, and you are just like a family with forgivness and love.
Tom,my friend who was electricuted,survived and his DR. said he was a miracle to survive. Personally I believe it was karma, because he was the man who dumped the tree on me that caused me broken ribs and pain for a month, HA! but that's another story.
i love you. You folks are truly my family and I want you all to know..... I Love and Live for BULLSHIT!!
(Well, sort of)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 10:12 PM

Poor MOAB's down and off she's gonna DROP!!

The last word dropped off.

I once drove into a hurricane, and I don't recommend it. Git outa town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 10:10 PM

The scene was in the Mudcat, and if curfew rang that night
Poor MOAB on the bottom row would go out like a light.
He knew that Mom was threatened, and so Plucky Little Rap
Had posted his brief missive and had saved her from the trap.

chorus: Oh, bring her to the top, Rapper, clear up to the top
Poor MOAB's down and off she's gonna.
As you post to the left, and you post to the right
No matter how the Mudcat goes, Mother must not fall tonight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 10:05 PM

I yam carnsurned fer ar fren' Tweed who iz also khandu who is also a rezdent ov West Palm Beach which iz probly gonna git flattened by Hurricane Frances. Iz you still goin' t' th' Festible in Mizzippi or haz yer plans changed? If'n I wuz you I'd fergit about flyin' t' Mizzippi an' jus' load Mrs. Tweed an' all yore instruments an' Mrs. Tweed's Fountin of Bliss an' Trankwility in th' car an' drive to th' Festible an habv az gud a time az you can unner th' cundishuns 'cause there shore az hell ain't nuthin' you gonna be able t' do about it ennyways.


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Subject: TWEED the WEST POINT CADET!
From: khandu
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 09:37 PM

WOW! Indeed, Mr.Amos! What more can be said about Sir Rap? WOW!

khandu who iz also Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 09:26 PM

Wow....I mean, that Rapaire...he's kinda...I dunno...sort of....heroic like, ya know what I mean? Like he is some kind of darned ole hero or sompn, ya know? I mean...wow.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 04 - 06:49 PM

No matter how the Mudcat goes, MOAB shall not fall tonight!!


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Subject: I IS TWEED!
From: khandu
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 08:19 PM

RR...Our harts are wif yew in dis timb obv much termile and ubset! We wish the best fer yore fred and as sed afore, our PM's are open fer yew if'n yew need'em.

You ar one obv our rair trezures wedder you ar necked er not,or crine yore eyez out! We is here fer yew.

yerz ,

Knadgarz who iz also Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 11:05 AM

My Dere Rustic,
You know we wuld ruther see you sittin' nekkid then cryin' yore eyes out. Please don't be crying. I habv fayphe that all will work out fine and just zackerly how it's supposed to. You'll see!

Yores truly,
Tweed who iz also Knadgarz


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 10:15 AM

Hey, RR, send a PM to any of us if you need an ear to cry into. Here's mine right here. Sounds like something that happened to the previous owner at the house my mother bought. We never looked at pipes running through the basement ceiling in the same way again after hearing his story. Good luck!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 09:34 AM

I dunno what to say, RR. I hope that he's okay soonest and both of you are laughing together even sooner than that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 08:20 AM

when all the bs is said and done - sometimes it comes down to the fact that life is occasionally just BS heaped on BS - and hopefully friends can help see past the BS to the humour and the joys.

Hugs


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 01:12 AM

I am sorry for posting that last post. It didn't have anything to do with bullshit . I am taking it back and want you all to go on with your merry bullshit regardless of what I just posted. Please. I want you to delete the last post and no-I am not sitting here naked. I am sitting here crying my eyes out and needing a MOAB .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 01:03 AM

I cannot read posts right now or posts that have been. Please realise that life is but a fagile thing and if Tom can make it through his electricution today, I think I got nothing to bitch about.
Sorry fore mmmy sorrow , but my best friend fucked up with a wire and fried himself this afternoon.he is in his usual but not really his usual coma state. We all think he should be   arriving back home soon. I hope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 12:45 AM

Ft. Worth Stir Bellygram

Naw, that isn't our newspaper, Rap. Better update your records to reflect that our paper is called the Fort Worth Startlegram.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Aug 04 - 10:36 PM

...it will entrain him to give up a Martin or two in exchange for the pleasuer obv hearing this magical thing.

I'd probably give you all three Martins and maybe a Gibson or two for the pleasure of not hearing the thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 04 - 06:26 PM

Wow! A blues fest at West Point! The kaydets will probably enjoy it, but I hope that they let them relax a little instead of sitting up rigidly straight all the time.

When is it? I'm gonna be at West Point during this cruise I'm starting on Sunday. Probably gonna be there about Sept. 15 or 16 or maybe 17. I hope I don't miss it.

Do you sit on the cannons or what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 30 Aug 04 - 05:33 PM

Yes and beautimous accordeen. I wear it everywhar I go these past few days and habv taken to wropping it up in vizqueen so I may regale myself wif it's sweet tones while bathing in the branch. It iz so soothing and pleasant to hear and gibves me no little comfort in my obtherways dull and lackletter existent. O, how I wish I culd play while I sleep! Az it is, I have been awake and squeezing for the last four days and nites. The moon wabz full last eve and seemed to listen wif great intention to it's heabenly strains. Thar are two black keys broke off but it matters not to me. I habv thought out a way to replace them by laminating paint sticks together and sticking em on thar az a after market part.

I will be needing some NASCAR decals soon and may hit the stock car circuit to try my hand wif a little creative busking and mebbe will sponsor a car if all goes well!

The new neighbors seem to be okay wif all this and stand outside my window in herds shaking thar heads in time! I will try to bring it up to Floribama some obv these days for some jamming at the Pot-thrower's house az I am convinced thet Beedzahya haz a need for this sorta music and hope it will entrain him to give up a Martin or two in exchange for the pleasuer obv hearing this magical thing.

I soon will be in Mississippi to gain audience wif KHANDU WHO IS REALLY TWEED and hopefully get him to West Point for a blues festival to beat all blues fetes this weekend but will leave the squeezebox here on the great sandbar az KHANDU WHO IS REALLY TWEED iz, az we all know perty well, mad as a harper and capable obv anything while in agitation.

Yores mostruly,
kahnduwhoizreally Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 04 - 12:09 PM

Actually, I copy-and-pasted that in from the Ft. Worth Stir Bellygram where I understand it has been widely received.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 04 - 10:38 AM

Thanks for posting the cover blurb for The World Accordian to Rap, now on sale in dusty used bookstores everywhere north of Utah, West of Montana, East of Washington and Oregon, and South of Canada.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 04 - 09:49 PM

Accordions: The Secret Life Form That Threatens Earth!!

Special to MOAB, August 29, 2004:

Information obtained from the Department of Homeland Security and the Justice Department via FOIA applications and from the Department of Defense from an Unnamed, But Authoritative Source, clearly demonstrated today the threat posed to life on Earth by accordions.

According to the Defense Information Agency and the National Science Foundation, accordions are not the harmless creatures they pretend to be.

Many cases of insanity in those unfortunate enough to hear the horrifying cries of the accordion. Even the accordion's gentle mating call, usually identified as "Lady of Spain," has been known to drive humans insane. These calls are especially deadly when heard over and over and over and over and over, as when an accordion is learning to "play" a human.

No species of accordion is safe, according to Britain's MI5. Even the small "button box" poses dire threats to the person of anyone "squeezing" it. Ties, shirts, bras, and even large chunks of flesh have been ripped away by accordions, according to the National Safety Council. Harry Neuhardt, Vice President For Unearthly Threats at the Council, flatly states "Just kill 'em before the accordions can kill again. A flamethrower is usually sufficient."

Until everyone is armed with a flamethrower, some common sense rules should be followed:

1. Never play the accordion and drive.
2. Never get close enough to an accordion for it to attack. Better, never get close to an accordion.
3. If you find yourself with an accordion in your hands, swing it wildly around your head while yelling "Cordy! Cordy!" as loud as you can so that others will be warned. Then fling it as hard and as far as possible. Get medical help immediately.
4. Always go in groups in accordion territory. And always go armed.
5. Always have a designated banjoist with you.
6. If you see an accordion, strike first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Aug 04 - 07:25 PM

So Tweed moves into a new domicile during the same week in which he becomes an accordion owner! Coincidence? I think not! Admit it, Tweed, the UPS driver with the accordion and the process server with the eviction notice arrived at your door at the same time! Didn't they? No need to lie about it. Face it, you haven't even learned how to play "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" on the thing and it's already taken control of your life!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Obv Tweed
Date: 29 Aug 04 - 01:53 PM

hmmmm....thet iz supossed to read ghosd obv Tweed...

I habv missed a lot here lately it seems...you all habv gone stupider then I could evber hope to become!
As fore my beautimous accordeen, she lays fallow at the moment in the battered case. I yam moving this past week and have neglected my practice sessuns for the most part and figger to gibv my new neighbors a chance to git used to wakingning to the sweat strains obv this most exquiment instrument.
The buzzards follow me incessnantly these days and I suspect they think it is a dead thing, but this will all change soon! HA@W!!

Regardez,
Khandu/who iz also Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 10:25 PM

Here in Idaho we pronounce it "po-tay-to". Someday I'll have to explain to you poor benighted unwashed masses exactly WHAT you call a potato really is. The truth is shocking, but explains so very, very much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 08:57 PM

I say "to-may-to", but since I have a greatly exagerated sense of my own worldliness and sophistication I think I'm saying "to-mah-to".


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Subject: NO SENSE OF STYLE LOST HERE!!
From: khandu
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 07:21 PM

Yes, but do you say "tomato" or "tomato"?

Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 06:11 PM

I pronounce it "it".

And I pronounce "neither" in such a way that it rhymes with "either".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 04:27 PM

Are you beside yourself?


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Subject: TWEED IS I, I IS HIM !!
From: khandu
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:43 PM

For I am not myself today, yet I am neither Rustic Rebel (do you pronounce it "neither" or " neither"?) who seemed to speak of Tweed as being a ghost which I am not beciause I am not quite dead & haunting this thread (which haunts me!)!

King Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:10 PM

I do believe your right about that Bee. Imagine how extremely important those 47 posts are and the value to the fuction of the human brain that those 47 posts created.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 09:31 AM

If all the posts related to counting, "significant" numbers and dickering over who has dibs on said "significant" numbers were deleted, the MOAB would currently stand at something like 47 posts instead of 4451.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:18 AM

So after rambling do I get an obtuse number on the scoreboard of MOAB number system?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:16 AM

What does that mean I am not the one posting the first post? I think I was and I seem to be malfunctioning only because there could be not another that would have said such a thing to begin with. (not to mention the name was a functioning member to the Mudcat Cafe Member name)
I believe I am who I thought I could have been, had I been the one that thought I was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:10 AM

I do not, nor will I admit to being the person that just posted before this post. I think someone was using a disguise or going incognito. I would further like to say I would never call Kandu a ghost. (unless of course he was dead, and haunting us, then I would consider the fact)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:04 AM

I do tire of the counting game that takes up a inspired phrame(ha)of mind, go there gleefully anyway.

I can't believe you all would count, instead of giving out a shout...
Tweed is not the majesty.
But alas I am sad, only because those two idividuals pulled off a caper unrecognized by most....
of who is Tweed and who is the King Ghost?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 06:43 PM

Living next a golf course I hear that a lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 06:31 PM

I can't find the old "legalize pot" thread, but this story is just absurd enough to fit well in a thread dedicated to BS (and send that administrator to the back of the class):

Hempstead T-shirt gets student in trouble
August 27, 2004

ATLANTA, Aug 27, 2004 (United Press International via COMTEX) -- An assistant principal at a Georgia high school who pulled a new student out of class for his provocative T-shirt has apologized to the youth.

The administrator of Grayson High School near Atlanta in Gwinnett County had pulled Terrell Jones out of class because he thought the boy's top, which read "Hempstead, NY 516," was a reference to marijuana, Newsday reported Friday.

Jones, who had moved to Grayson from Hempstead, had to persuade school officials to look up his former hometown on the Internet before they would let him back in class.

Once the mistake was realized, the assistant principal apologized.

The New York's town's Web site states that the municipality may have been named for Hemel-Hempstead, England, or Heemstede, Netherlands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 06:06 PM

FOUR...FOUR...FOUR...FOUR...

Seems to be an echo in here...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 05:40 PM

4443 -- and being a generous, decent, sharing human being I will let someone else have 4444.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 05:39 PM

4442


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 05:39 PM

4441


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:44 PM

four four four zero!

which in base five is 620 (base ten)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:25 PM

Perk up, guys--it's almost the weekend!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:25 AM

4438


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 10:02 PM

Eleven more pages to 100.


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Subject: The MASTERPIECE !!
From: khandu
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 09:58 PM

Indeed, as I, khandu of the Etherial Kingdom of Mississippi, have taken unannounced leaves of absence from our Fair MOAB (or should that be "leaf of absences"?), the wonderfully well-bred Moabites have done exceedingly abundantly above my expectations! Yes, you are to be honored high above all non-Moabites! You have taken the humble glories of Bullshit to heights unimaginable, &, I believe, previously unattainable! Truly, you astound not only me, but all of creation!

          Your "Mother" is proud of you & your accomplishment!

          May I also express (as a "sidebar") my astonishment at one to whom, outside of Moab, I would refer as a "hated anonymous guest", but yet one who has proven his worthiness with his contributions of inspired Bullshit! The King thanks you, Unknown One!

          Onward, my Fellow Moabites, you who need no King! Onward to the Reeking Heights of Utter Bullshit & GLORY!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 09:31 PM

Thursday evening. Friday morning is soon. Friday evening not much longer. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday, this has been one helluva long week. Maybe I'll think of something witty to say over the weekend. Meanwhile, here's a boost back to the top for our MOAB-capped Mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 12:19 PM

Did he drop his accordion? What sort of sound did it make if he did?


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