Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeetta

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 15 Dec 11 - 10:17 AM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 11 - 11:25 PM
gnu 14 Dec 11 - 08:53 PM
Amos 14 Dec 11 - 08:35 PM
Acme 14 Dec 11 - 08:04 PM
Amos 14 Dec 11 - 07:53 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 11 - 03:18 PM
Amos 14 Dec 11 - 03:09 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 11 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 11 - 02:18 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 11 - 01:45 PM
gnu 14 Dec 11 - 01:41 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 14 Dec 11 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 11 - 10:50 AM
Acme 14 Dec 11 - 09:32 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 14 Dec 11 - 01:54 AM
Amos 13 Dec 11 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 11 - 10:13 PM
Acme 13 Dec 11 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 11 - 09:31 PM
Eiseley 13 Dec 11 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 11 - 08:24 PM
gnu 13 Dec 11 - 06:48 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 13 Dec 11 - 06:22 PM
Acme 13 Dec 11 - 04:40 PM
Amos 13 Dec 11 - 01:35 PM
Acme 13 Dec 11 - 12:34 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 11 - 10:09 AM
Little Hawk 13 Dec 11 - 09:37 AM
Amos 13 Dec 11 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 11 - 11:59 PM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 11 - 11:57 PM
Amos 12 Dec 11 - 10:41 PM
Acme 12 Dec 11 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 11 - 08:11 PM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 11 - 06:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 11 - 05:01 PM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 11 - 04:31 PM
Amos 12 Dec 11 - 03:01 PM
gnu 12 Dec 11 - 02:32 PM
Amos 12 Dec 11 - 01:39 PM
Acme 12 Dec 11 - 11:11 AM
Amos 12 Dec 11 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 11 - 10:28 AM
Little Hawk 12 Dec 11 - 10:01 AM
Amos 11 Dec 11 - 09:27 PM
gnu 11 Dec 11 - 09:05 PM
Little Hawk 11 Dec 11 - 08:42 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 11 - 08:34 PM
Amos 11 Dec 11 - 02:31 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 10:17 AM

Crosby. He's channeling for gnu.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 11:25 PM

"Bing"?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 08:53 PM

Bing does not trnslate from Latin to English? How lame is that?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 08:35 PM

So? One lousy faint and I am banned from all agreed-upon Reality? This disqualifies me? Come on. The Victorian ladies, than whom no-one was realler, used to faint at the mention of limbs!!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 08:04 PM

Yeah, Amos, but you pass out when you pee. That's a bit of a drawback . . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 07:53 PM

Easily and glibly said, you bog-born jackanapes, sir, but I assure you I am not only more real than all your two-bit dream critturs, I am also better looking and more experienced, wiser and smarter, defter, cannier, nimbler and more attractive.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 03:18 PM

As I have pointed out, Amos, you are yourself an imaginary construction, a self-created ego shell that prances about on the stage of life launching witty verbal shafts such as "jejune" and using fashionably outdated phrases such as "I swan" to reduce others to stunned silence as you bury them under an avalanche of equisitely crafted sesquipdelia.

As such, you act out an interesting and entertaining role to be sure, and one which I think has added color and amusement to our world, but never, sir, NEVER imagine that you are any realer than the various "fictional" characters I have created. You just seem realer in this specific vibratory spectrum we inhabit, that's all, but on the streets of Chongo's Chicago you would seem ghostly, insubstantial, a mere phantasm drifing eerily on the wind, soon to vanish like a puff of smoke.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 03:09 PM

Rapp spends so much time lashing out at imnaginary critturs, it's no wonder he hurt his arm. IT's a wonder he finds time to create the universe moment to moment, what with all the time he spends chaffing at Shame and Chongo and such.



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 02:36 PM

LOL!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 02:18 PM

After much research, I have found Shame McBride's heraldry:

On a field azure a dungheap sable and the motto "Ego homo hebes sum" enscrolled above all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 01:45 PM

Ya know, Shame, you never did respond to my offer a few posts back. But since you obviously don't want to deal with me, even if I'm one-handed, how about a go at la savate? Maybe we can do it when I'm just out of surgery this afternoon and I'm still groggy from the anesthetic -- you'll still lose, but you'll have a chance (albeit a very, very, very thin one).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 01:41 PM

Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick. It's the premise of a theory postulated by two gay Irish scientists.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 11:39 AM

Youse people are all nuts, eh? You would not be acksepptible in God's Country...North ONtario. Most patrticuler, you would not be acseptablle in Blind River, know'm sayin'? We laff at yer kind in Blind River.

- Shane

p.s. What the flip is Fitzgerald's Contranction?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 10:50 AM

There was a young fellow named Fisk
Whose fencing was exceedingly brisk.
So fast was his action
The Fitzgerald contraction
Turned his rapier to a disk.

Amos, you can only disprove what you cannot prove. So the Lorentz-Fitzgerald conjecture was only such until it was proven, so now it appears that it is soon to be no longer conjectural.

By the way, Schrödinger's cat is dead.

They've also exhumed Michelson and Morley, wrapped them in copper wire and reburied them between magnets; they generate enough power to light the hamlet of Blind River.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 09:32 AM

Who'da thunk it? At one time, William Shatner played Archie Goodwin! Pix are few.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 14 Dec 11 - 01:54 AM

Yeah, right.

So when are the dudes in the white suits comin' to take you away, Amos?

- Shane


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 10:44 PM

Because making those guys collide at near C speeds is the closest we can get to the kind of interactions that originally spawned particles, and presumably, the Higgs boson as well. That's my guess. It's odd, you know--the whole 20thC was set on a changed course when Lorenz and Fitzgerald proved there was N invisible aetheric field. Now the HRC is threatening to prove the existence of the similarly mysterious Higgs field. I am curious what this does to the wave-particle duality proposition if proven. I suspect there will be unforeseen consequences, yowzah!!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 10:13 PM

According to the doctor, I'll be eating dinner and breakfast in the hospital.

Here's the conclusion of the MRI report:

Proximally retracted complete full-thickness tear of the distal biceps tendon, believed to involve both the short and long heads.

In addition, there is probably a partial tear in the of the common extensor tendon at its insertion on the lateral epicondyle, with epicondylitis.

The muscles have retracted towards my shoulder about 3 to 7 cm.

Now you know. And I'll be wearing a half-cast (no foolin'!) for a couple of weeks. On the bottom, or lower-cast, side of my arm.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:32 PM

Eiseley, maybe you can meet him at the house tomorrow evening with a warmed up bowl! Saves keeping it till christmas!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:31 PM

And his surgery is at 2:30 or 3 tomorrow afternoon.

We'll be home for Christmas this year.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:16 PM

What a great poem about our Rapaire, Amos! That's one of the things I like most about MOM---the outstanding poetical offerings.

Right now I'm making Cream of Potato soup for the library staff. We're putting in new carpet, so that involves moving thousands and thousands of books. Since many of those volumes are in my Children's area, I figured the least I could do would be to feed the crew. If anyone would like a bowl, I'll dish one up for you virtually.

Too bad Rapparee has to fast from midnight tonight until after his surgery, or I'd bring him a bowl.

Eiseley


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 08:24 PM

Dear Shame,

Look dude, I've taught hand-to-hand combat. Boxing is NOT hand-to-hand combat, it's a stylized battering match. So, if you'd like a match I strongly suggest that you put the gloves over your crotch. Then I can pivot right, scrape your patella to your instep and bounce on it, and at the same time slam the bottom of my left hand forcibly into your nose. This will not only cripple you for life, but drive nose splinters into whatever is in your cranial cavity. But I promise, as you fall, I'll punt your footballs the length of the room so that your fall will be broken and you won't hit your head hard against the floor.

Would you prefer knives or guns instead? How about clubs?

Your fiend,
R


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 06:48 PM

SRS... A. Why collide?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 06:22 PM

I hearn that the Bolthole From Boise has a got a hurt arm and can't use it, eh?

I figger this has gotta be the perfect time to challunge the fliphead to a boxin' match!

You are toast, man. I will flippin' defelnicrate you! The match will last only 2 blows, eh? I hit you. You hit the flippin' floor!

Or maybe I will flippin' play with you a bit just to, like, punish you, eh? And stretch it out to 3 rounds. You are sooooo dead, man.

- Shane


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 04:40 PM

This is for Amos.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 01:35 PM

I thrill with joy, delight and glee
To find Rapaire a repairee;
When he was hurt, I too was scared!
And I am glad he's been Rapaire'd.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 12:34 PM

Arthroscopic, hopefully?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 10:09 AM

'tis not as deep as a well, nor as wide as a church door, but 'twill serve, 'twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow and you will find me a repaired man.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:37 AM

Ah well, but look forward to what lies beyond, Amos. Freedom and new beginnings.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 09:35 AM

IT's a hard thing to watch when a good man's thumbs begin to go...all those might-have-beens, and the cold wind of mortality blowing through the windows in your heart. A hard thing to watch.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 11:59 PM

Shoulda been locked up. Gorse and furze got nasty thorns. Nobody in their right mind goes molesting anything in them.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 11:57 PM

It was another damn typo, Rap! Should have read "Scotsmen" (as in the plural of Scot).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:41 PM

That would be Barnabas Scotsmen, born Edinboro 1927, renowned scholar on the migratory habits of the Gray Hibernian fook, but eventually locked up for his incurable appetite for molesting unattended fooks in stray gorsebushes.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:28 PM

Maybe it's simply that second glass of wine speaking, but LH's dachshund seems to be particularly funny this evening! (My dogs do much the same thing with most of the items enumerated, except since they're girls they're not obsessed with peeing on everything they see.)

Amos, Joy and Hildebrand were also here in Texas on that trip. It was a joy to meet them!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 08:11 PM

Scotsman? Was it just one Scotsman or was (as I would guess from reading your post) "Scotsman" was his last name.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 06:04 PM

Yes.

And that should have read "unattended food", not "fook". It is Scotsman who take care of unattended fook, much to the alarm of many innocent sheep.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 05:01 PM

Don't forget that they protect you from terrorist squirrels.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 04:31 PM

And any Dachshund would agree with THAT! They're positively religious about urinating. It may be their most important daily ritual.

Others are...

1. Barking at the world in general, first thing in the morning, just to let everyone know who is in charge. 10 or 15 minutes of noise will suffice.

2. Barking at strangers and strange noises...3 to 5 minutes will suffice.

3. Keeping the carpet in place.

4. Attending to itches at "the far end".

5. Reminding you that they are starving to death!

6. Singing along with police and ambulance sirens.

7. Crapping on the neighbour's lawn...if at all possible.

8. Investigating all sources of truly vile odors and rolling in them.

9. Disposing of unattended fook that might go bad. (a public service)

10. Extending the boundaries of Olympic Sleeping.

11. Farting...and then looking around as if to say, "I wonder who did that?"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 03:01 PM

Better to occasionally miss while peeing than to have to miss peeing altogether; we never know what our blessings are until they are gone, but I am sure having a good pee when needed is among the best.



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 02:32 PM

I got me an elongated toilet bowl to avoid cold dick surprise when half asleep. Of course, that's a different matter as I don't squat to pee. Oh... and my 3.5 gallon per flush (REAL gallons) stands a mighty 17" at the rim.

Of course, i am at that age where the elongated boal is sometimes "useful". >;-)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 01:39 PM

Dear aul' Hildebrand. HE and Joy visited one day on their way back to ANZO. He not only knew the original version of Patrick Spence, but he recognized the obscure reference in my "Mrs. Henley's Revenge" (Mudcat Song Challenge #1) which comes from a Colonial-era naughty ballad about an adulterer from an earlier time.

Fortunately, I am not that low-slung, and am happy to continue to raise the, um, banner of Male Micturition sans Syncope.

I am fond of my point-and-tink interface.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 11:11 AM

Yeah, I don't think bears have opposable thumbs, do they? They hook stuff instead of grip stuff. You'd shred most of your books, Pat wouldn't let you near her quilts, and if you forgot and scratched yourself in your sleep you could wake up dead, having bled out during the night. [aghast expression!]

Amos, I flashed on an old conversation here, one of Hildebrand's few posts, when he complained about the problem older men experience of hitting the water with the pouch when sitting. It was a funny thread - maybe you were too young at the time to appreciate his grumbles?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:49 AM

Well there's your problem right there. You keep insisting on this bit about bear arms. But you're not specced out for bear arms, Rapp. Settle for a human-size pair and it will work much better, especially with the shorter nails for picking yournose and all.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:28 AM

I got a right to bear arms an' I want 'em both ta work, dammit.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 10:01 AM

gnu - But he still insists on hangin' around, doesn't he?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 09:27 PM

It is awful to think of such a man at arms being so disarmingly denied his armature by cruel and artless Fate. A disarming event indeed. Yet 'twas ever thus--for every chapter of Arms and the Man that is writ, another is likewise for The Man without Arms.

I wish you a direct recovery and return to full armedness.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 09:05 PM

If split stream is a problem you cannot master on accounta you are half asleep or inattentive, SHAVE! Seroiusly, if yer pubic hair is a problem more than once a year, trim it. AND, I hear the girls like a properly manicured man.

Yes, I said it. When flaccid, little Gary is just a dick. He don't know which way to go.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 08:42 PM

Ah- HA! HA! HA!

Marvelous post, Amos. Spoken like a true Musketeer, a man of daring who boldly makes his mark wherever he goes, rather like a Dachshund... a man truly without fear!!! Are you sure your real name isn't Athos?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 08:34 PM

Amos, I did that once off the Golden Gate Bridge. The water was darned cold and the bottom was muddy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 02:31 PM

SUbcutaneous blood is the best sort, Rapparree. The serious problems only begin when it gets outside the skin...

LH, your rationale for sitting to pee is meretricious and without merit. Nothing beats the satisfaction afforded to the user by skilled mastery of the point-and-tink interface. It says that here is a being who foregoes docile comfort for stand-up style, who faces the world with his pecker in his hand, unafraid, leaving his mark on the world with elan. The notion of hunkering down and folding your dingus down between your thighs to aim it is timid and wan in contrast.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 25 September 8:03 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.