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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 12 Sep 11 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 11 - 09:25 PM
gnu 12 Sep 11 - 09:12 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 11 - 07:18 PM
Amos 12 Sep 11 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 11 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 11 - 11:14 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 11 - 11:04 PM
Amos 11 Sep 11 - 06:12 PM
gnu 11 Sep 11 - 05:00 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 11 - 04:45 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 11 - 03:50 PM
Acme 11 Sep 11 - 03:23 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 11 - 12:48 PM
Amos 11 Sep 11 - 11:56 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 11 - 12:05 AM
Acme 10 Sep 11 - 11:18 PM
Amos 10 Sep 11 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 11 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 11 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 11 - 10:04 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 11 - 09:05 PM
Amos 10 Sep 11 - 07:55 PM
gnu 10 Sep 11 - 01:19 PM
Amos 10 Sep 11 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 11 - 11:44 AM
Acme 10 Sep 11 - 09:56 AM
Amos 10 Sep 11 - 09:29 AM
Amos 10 Sep 11 - 12:01 AM
gnu 09 Sep 11 - 06:21 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 11 - 06:19 PM
Amos 09 Sep 11 - 03:07 PM
gnu 09 Sep 11 - 02:48 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 11 - 02:02 PM
Amos 09 Sep 11 - 11:37 AM
Amos 09 Sep 11 - 11:35 AM
Acme 09 Sep 11 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 11 - 09:28 AM
Amos 09 Sep 11 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 11 - 09:18 AM
gnu 09 Sep 11 - 09:04 AM
gnu 09 Sep 11 - 07:54 AM
MMario 09 Sep 11 - 05:36 AM
MMario 09 Sep 11 - 05:34 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 08 Sep 11 - 11:54 PM
Eiseley 08 Sep 11 - 11:35 PM
Acme 08 Sep 11 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 11 - 11:01 PM
Acme 08 Sep 11 - 10:50 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 11 - 10:44 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 09:27 PM

Don't start another banking crisis by pulling it all out at once, Amos. Pace yourself. Please. The House and Senate and President Obama implore you. (Geez. Can you believe that the spell check doesn't have Obama? It offers Obadiah, Obadias, Bamako, or Alabama.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 09:25 PM

eah. He was even cooler the only time he had the helm and his ship ended up marooned on an ice shelf in the Antarctic. Ever eat penguin for months on end? Penguin and ice water, penguin and ice water...that was one of the reasons Amos left the life of a sailor behind him. That and some stuff in Papettee involving a walrus, a young woman, and a peg-legged parrot named "Papettee Petey."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 09:12 PM

Truth? Truth is A is a oool guy. And, being a cool guy is all any of us can ever hope to be. George Carlin defined it as such and George Carlin is my go to guy for a lot of times... my Deity in a way... my God on earth... so, if he says being a cool guy is what he and WE want to be in the end, A has it made in the shade. A is just a cool guy.

Now, don't get uppity eh A... you ain't no better than the rest of us eh. But... yer a cool guy. Happy Bday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 07:18 PM

Why, thank ya kindly, Amos. I try never to let facts and details interfere with the truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 11:16 AM

Pretty good job, Rapp. Covered all the important points, and only messed up the details and facts.

I am pleased to report there is still such a thing as a really good restaurant experience to be had in California. Birthday dinner at Ruth's Chris restaurant across from the Maritime Mueseum, looking out over the harbor. Friendly, courteous, intelligent, impeccable appointments, and terrific service, and the best filet I've ever eaten. Seriously fine dining. So now I am a year older. And free to liquidate my IRA! Watch out world!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 10:38 AM

Today, September 12, is the natal day of our very own AMOS !!!!

Yes! On this day in 1867, Amos was born to poor but honest parents in a little log cabin he built himself. Before he was two he'd moved to a little old sod shanty on the plains, carrying his parents and all of their worldly possessions with him. His youth was spent in prayer and fasting, and eventually he was able to eke out a marginal existence by raising Cain. Completely self-taught, he was semi-literate before he was 27. His career in hard-rock mining was cut short because his fuses were, and his surviving co-workers suggested strongly that he was better fitted for another job opportunity. After removing the tar and feathers, he tried his hand at sea and found the water temperature was satisfactory. He moved up the ladder quickly because the man following him had a gaff and within a year had assumed the responsibilities of First Assistant Cabin Boy (Temporary). Soon, though, he rocketed to the coveted rank of Captain's Mate. After falling down a hatch cover he left the life at sea and began a career in computers; he left this after he found a bed in Mazie's Flophouse, and he's never looked back. Amos is responsible for such notable achievements in the world of computer science as B++, OS/2 Warped 3, and the well-known Titan Arum line of personal computers. He is currently housed in San Diego, a small suburb of Los Angeles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 11:14 PM

Hmmm...I suppose you COULD stand the statue in a pool of saline solution. Then the marble would soak up (yes, it will do that!) the saline and allow electrification. I'd think, though, that this would turn the liquid to steam and the pressure would blow the damned thing apart. Interesting concept...I wonder where I can get some marble....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 11:04 PM

It's done with an advanced form of technology that establishes an electrified force field around the statue at a distance of a half inch. The field is invisible, but it zaps any bird or insect which approaches with a low voltage sufficient to drive off the bird or insect as the case may be. In certain low pressure weather conditions one can sometimes see a ghostly aura form around the statue, but it's a rare phenomenon, usually occurring when Mr Shatner is about to do something very creative, like write a new book or start a new TV role.

The reason you don't know about it, Rap, is because you haven't enrolled in the Science curriculum at the WSSBA.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 06:12 PM

The statue is ALSO shaped a bit like the Rotunda, only a bit more rotund, and fatter.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 05:00 PM

The mere fact that statue is of Himself electrifies it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 04:45 PM

How do you electrify a marble statue? I've worked with marble and we never could do it. You could put a lightning rod on it, but the copper would stain the marble green, as would any wire wrapped around it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 03:50 PM

It's at the centre (note Canadian spelling) of the large complex of buildings which comprise the WSSBA. It is an enormous circular building that serves as a gathering place, theatre, stage, and senatorial chamber for people who have devoted their lives to studying and learning from the life and times of William Shatner. It looks a bit like the USA Capitol Building, only it's bigger and grander...and fatter. A statue of William Shatner in Starfleet Captain's uniform crowns its topmost point. The statue has been electrified to discourage seagulls and pigeons from perching on it and defiling it. The charge is sufficient to drive the birds off, but not actually harm them.

The statue of Shatner is 12 feet tall and made of white marble. It glistens brightly in the sun.

Anything else you want to know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 03:23 PM

The fattest building in the world is in Orilla? Is it a lard plant? Do they make Crisco?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 12:48 PM

It wouldn't compare to the massive Rotunda (the fattest building in the world, stands on the famed WSSBA campus just outside Orillia, Ontario, Canada).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 11:56 AM

It's a huge field where they land the intercontinental palins when they arrive from their long flights.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 12:05 AM

It's the big building where Sarah "works."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 11:18 PM

Palindrome sounds like it should be a big building where PayPal operates.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 11:03 PM

Palindrome, Palindrome, where do you roam?
Palindrome, Palindrom, far, far from Nome!
Palindrome, Palindrom, why are you broken hearted?
'Cuz every time I turn around, I'm right back where I started!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 10:24 PM

Oh, yeah.

Palindrome!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 10:23 PM

Mom, this morning I went out to the range to see the Cowboy Shooting group do their thing. I was too late to shoot, because my sister called, but I did get to talk to them about it and help them put stuff away. So, Mom, maybe I'll try that. All I need is another rifle...they don't like my .45 single-shot carbine, which was good enough for Custer, dagnabbit! Maybe I'll get a Gatling gun. That'd fix 'em....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 10:04 PM

Hubris. Custer, like MacArthur, had lots and lots of hubris. Custer's tactics were lousy, and he didn't listen to his scouts, both white and red. And no, I'm not expiating something or other -- he was a lousy leader before the LBH.

gnu, Trumpeter John Martini, of H Troop, Custer's Orderly Bugler, was given the following to take to Benteen by W. W. Cooke:

Benteen,
Come on, Big Village.
Be quick, bring packs.
W.W. Cooke
P.S. bring packs


That was the last message from Custer's group. Earlier, Custer had sent Sergeant Danial A. Kanipe of C Troup back to Captain McDougall who with Troop B was escorting the pack train. Kanipe was "to go to McDougall, tell him to bring the pack train straight across the country, if any packs come loose, cut them; and come on quick; a big Indian camp. If you see Captain Benteen tell him to come quick, a big Indian camp." Not one word about who was winning.

This information is from With Custer On The Little Big Horn: a newly discovered first-person account by William O. Taylor (Viking, 1996).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 09:05 PM

He was probably under a false impression at the moment he said that, Amos. Custer's standard routine was always the impetuously aggressive cavalry attack without delay...the glorious charge. It generally paid off handsomely for him...until Little Big Horn. That time he significantly underestimated the size, preparedness, and effectiveness of the opposition he was facing.

Such mistakes in battle have been made more than a few times by American Indians too, for much the same reason: an excess of pride and self-confidence.

The reason Custer is universally despised nowadays is simple: he lost the battle. It's handy for Indians to despise him as a defeated symbol of all the Whites who oppressed them. It's handy for the Whites to despise him in order to expiate what they may see as the shared guilt of the White conquerors...or just because he lost, and he therefore has to be seen as some kind of a "bad guy" in order to make it okay that he lost.

He turns out to be very convenient for both sides, in fact. He's a perfect scapegoat for their darkest emotions to fix upon.

(And then too, there are some Whites who have seen him as a tragic hero. That also works if you want to cast him in such a role.)

I see him as none of the above. He was ambitious and reckless, yes, but so were many other officers. He made a bad decision. So have many others. In the end, he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It could have happened to someone else, but it happened to him, so he gets to carry the symbolic load and serve as everyone's whipping boy, rather like a modern day Judas Iscariot.

Perhaps he gets a good laugh over it now if he is watching from Spirit...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 07:55 PM

You mean the one about "one bad can could mess up a case if not caught"? I thought that was very telling. Or did you mean the quote where Custer claimed he had the hostiles on the run?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 01:19 PM

Read my post on the canned goods thread. I thought the quote was coool.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 01:11 PM

She's not hungry--she already had a multivitamin this morning, for goodness' sakes!! That Rapp, man--always a day late and a dollar overpaid.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 11:44 AM

Here, Mom. Some fresh scones with good butter and real elderberry jam from the South Poe Valley in Oregon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 09:56 AM

MOM, have a hot cuppa tea and come out into the yard. You can watch me as I start leveling the floor of the new greenhouse. I hope to start putting it together today. Then if one of the boys drags in late they can go sleep it off in the greenhouse instead of disturbing you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 09:29 AM

There they go again, Mom. Letting you dfown while they hare off on their wild unschooled and unprincipled escapades, their Hijinks of Mortality, the dance of the hours. I, alone among them, have stayed by you. Have some black coffee and a multivitamin. Who loves ya, Mom-O??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 11 - 12:01 AM

There is "A" in the Ti- " syllable. The city is named Tijuana.

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 06:21 PM

Aunty Mary Jane didn't have anything to light up with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 06:19 PM

And Tiajuana was without lights as well!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 03:07 PM

A long, long wake behind us! From 2009:



We're thirty two-five-and eighty now,
And all full and away
ANd the Mother has a bone in her teeth,
As she rollocks, bows, and sways.
She's trim and lean, and her bottom clean,
And the moon shining on the lee
As the black seas sweep underneath her stern,
SIng a song of the Thirty-Three.

The night wind rattles in the stays
ANd the foresail fills to lee
And all the hands are grinning broad
As she kicks her heels out free.
We know she's running down the wind
Where the wind wants her to be;
And the dolphin striker points the way
To the port of Thirty Three.

Old Ed stood high on the tops'l yahd
A-staring into the sun.
To see the way he stared, we feared
Some damage might be done.
And sure enough, when his watch was done,
An' he shinnied down the stay,
He started spouting Marxist thoughts
In a tatterdemalion way.

Now Little Hawk, on the foc's'le head,
Was watching in the gloom
As the phosphorescent breakers passed,
An' he dreamed he was in his room.
He fancied seeing shabby types
Of simian and Canuck.
He dreamed them up and gave them names,
And his fancies kinda stuck.
For when old Hawk came off that watch
He swore his chums were there!
So we tied him up and stowed him below,
Just to give him a change of air.

And sure, it was a patchwork gang
We'd sailed with from the docks,
With prim Rapaire, and wild-eyed Bruce,
And Still and Jane in frocks.
But we didn't care if we all seemed odd,
We were glad to be under weigh.
For we heard the call of the Mother's voice
Singing "Thirty-three of Kay!"

At thirty-two and seven bells
We left the land to lee,
And all we saw was a raging hell
Of foam and storm-torn sea.
And the seas climbed high, and the seas broke hard
As our top mast reeled and swayed,
But she stood the force, and we held our course
For the thirty-three of Kay.

Below the deck, in a galley warm
Worked Janie, Reb, and Still
And they tried to make up something good
Our hungry mouths to fill.
But the twisting seas and the rollicking gale
Made the whole place much too rough.
So they tied themselves into their bunks,
And swore they'd had enough.

The night was pitch, and the howling bitch
Of a storm howled louder still
And we ducked our bow and rose again
In seas as big as hills.
No man could face that awful gale
Without thinking he oughter pray.
And no-one knew if we'd make it through
To the thirty three of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 02:48 PM

Yes Rap and there will also be an increase in the proportion of children born by ugly people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 02:02 PM

Will the birth rate increase as it did then?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 11:37 AM

YEs. It was a cascade of failures which impacted a very high-voltage switching yard in Arizona. The first spikes caused a couple of power stations to blow and the following ones caused several others to go off-line in self-defense.

Biggest energy failure I have ever seen since the Northeast was blacked out back in the 70's.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 11:35 AM

I dedicate this song to Rapparree in honor of his scintillating perspicacity:

The Incandescent Pickle.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 10:07 AM

Amos, that's a huge area without power. And not a storm in sight, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 09:28 AM

Dang, I was certain that you'd become negatively charged and repelled electrons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 09:27 AM

Well it was an interesting time. Power went out from Yuma to the sea and from Baja clear up to Mission Viejo. A huge chunk. Blanket absolute powerlessness except for places with backup gennies.

So I filled the bathtub, broke out the hand-cranked radio, cleaned my shotgun, and had neighbors over for wine and good conversation. He is from Sweden, she is from Holland. Really nice folks. About 1 AM the power came back on and we ran around setting clocks.

All back to normal now!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 09:18 AM

Poor Amos. He can't use The Force. Even electrons have abandoned him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 09:04 AM

Some 694,000 of the 1.4 million customers throughout Southern California who lost power have now had power restored, San Diego Gas & Electric Co. reported at about 2:45 a.m, 11 hours after the outage occured.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 07:54 AM

Authorities say the outage was accidentally triggered about Thursday afternoon when an electrical worker removed a piece of monitoring equipment at a power substation in southwest Arizona.

The San Diego area was hit especially hard, with power severed to all 1.4 million customers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 05:36 AM

Good Morning forty-two thousand!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Sep 11 - 05:34 AM

Forty-one thousand nine hundred and ninety -eight post on you MOM!

Forty one thoussand nine-ninety-eight!

type one down, post it around,

forty one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine on you MOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 08 Sep 11 - 11:54 PM

Sure beats me where the hell you found 2 of my personally monogrammed bullets, Rap, (the ones that have my name etched on the brass shell casings) but you are welcome to them. I am a generous guy, as you know. Use 'em for some special occasion, okay?

That Subaru you got sounds like one hell of a good workin' vehicle. I really love the idea of the V-shaped underside to deflect the land mines! Gotta get me one of them puppies soon if I can float a loan. It may not be as stylish as havin' an old Duesenberg, it may lack runnin' boards for gunsels to perch on whilst makin' a getaway, but it sure ups the survival quotient for the driver, and that is somethin' you gotta keep in mind these days. It's a jungle out there. And besides, Deusies are just too expensive nowadays.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Sep 11 - 11:35 PM

Don't eat yellow snow. Rapparee will tell you why.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 11 - 11:28 PM

Pushing it a little closer, but I'm bushed. You guys grab the glory of number 42K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 11 - 11:01 PM

I forgot that Canada has ice worms, which they imported from Alaska.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 11 - 10:50 PM

Hey! I love my Chevy Silverado, and it was made in Canada. Funny, because now the Chevy plant in the town where I work makes the pickups.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 11 - 10:44 PM

Better than buying a Chevy made in Canada, ain't it? I'm helping Japan recover from earthquakes, tsunami, and a nuclear bad thing. What's Canada had lately? Just more skeeters and snow, right?

By the way, Amos is powerless to do anything at the moment.

I cleaned mah shootin' ahrns tonight. Guess what! I found a bunch of bullets with the Chonger's name on them!


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