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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 05 Dec 10 - 12:36 PM
Acme 05 Dec 10 - 12:20 PM
Little Hawk 05 Dec 10 - 04:35 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 10 - 08:57 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 10 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 10 - 08:44 PM
gnu 04 Dec 10 - 04:47 PM
Amos 04 Dec 10 - 03:32 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 10 - 02:50 PM
Acme 04 Dec 10 - 12:56 PM
Eiseley 04 Dec 10 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 10 - 11:08 AM
Acme 04 Dec 10 - 10:45 AM
Amos 04 Dec 10 - 09:51 AM
Amos 03 Dec 10 - 11:57 PM
Amos 03 Dec 10 - 11:53 PM
Acme 03 Dec 10 - 11:48 PM
Amos 03 Dec 10 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 10 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 10 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 10 - 05:12 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 10 - 04:41 PM
Amos 03 Dec 10 - 04:00 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 10 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 10 - 02:31 PM
Amos 03 Dec 10 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 10 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 10 - 02:05 PM
Amos 03 Dec 10 - 01:47 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 10 - 01:45 PM
Amos 03 Dec 10 - 11:20 AM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 10 - 10:57 AM
Eiseley 03 Dec 10 - 10:50 AM
gnu 03 Dec 10 - 10:47 AM
Amos 03 Dec 10 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 03 Dec 10 - 10:16 AM
Acme 02 Dec 10 - 11:58 PM
Amos 02 Dec 10 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 10 - 08:18 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 10 - 08:18 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 10 - 08:09 PM
Amos 02 Dec 10 - 07:44 PM
Amos 02 Dec 10 - 06:27 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 10 - 06:13 PM
Amos 02 Dec 10 - 05:37 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 10 - 02:41 PM
Amos 02 Dec 10 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 10 - 10:10 AM
Acme 01 Dec 10 - 05:05 PM
Amos 01 Dec 10 - 04:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 10 - 12:36 PM

Yup. Instant reversal and hypocrisy the moment one's own (monetary) interests are threatened. It's an old story.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Dec 10 - 12:20 PM

Interesting how that works, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 10 - 04:35 AM

Har! Har! ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 08:57 PM

In Mt. Vernon, Texas, Drummond's Bar began construction on expansion of their building to increase their business.

In response, the local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.
   
After the bar burning to the ground by a lightning strike the church
folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of
prayer", until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church "was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means".

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all
responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.      

The judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's
reply and at the opening hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that now does not."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 08:53 PM

LOL!!!!!!!!!! Marvelous!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 08:44 PM

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and
also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 04:47 PM

Rhans go with any music. Especially that Mirimachi stuff. Lot of Irish settled up on The Mighty Mirimachi River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 03:32 PM

Och, aye. The old one will be scrubbed clean and re-loaded and sold to some deserving student with a low budget.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 02:50 PM

If he was any good he was a visitor; if he was a student he's under the court, placed there by his long-suffering dorm mates.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 12:56 PM

When I was a kid I was dying for a set of bagpipes. A friend of my Dad's told me he'd teach me when I grew up, but we lost touch with that friend or I might have taken him up on it.

I lived on campus for a couple of years as an undergraduate, and one day I heard bagpipes and tracked them down. Turns out the dorm across the street from mine was laid out on a triangular plan with a center open courtyard and the corridors were open to it. There was a solitary bagpiper in there enjoying the acoustics. He disappeared after that, so perhaps he was only a visitor to begin with. Or he's buried under the courtyard somewhere . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 12:48 PM

My middle son has been begging for bagpipes for Christmas. Okay, I'll get him a set, but I won't ask Rap to teach him.





I'll ask Mom instead.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 11:08 AM

Sheesh, Amos. Don't you know ANYTHING about Mariachi music? Next thing you'll be saying is that bodhrans are un-Mariachi! And even banjos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 10:45 AM

My new quad core has settled right in, but as you say, Amos, the office did get some cleaning when the new toy arrived. After two weeks I'm still tweaking the things installed and remembering passwords and such.

Is MOM going to get your old computer as a hand-me-down? Get rid of those auto-fill credit card files or she'll go nuts shopping on your accounts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 10 - 09:51 AM

Well this is a fine kettle of fish. Now I HAVE to clean up my office to make it appropriate for the new puder. Sheeshe. No peace for the wicked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 11:57 PM

Mom:

My Xmas present has been installed early; it is a 3 gigaherz Intel Core 2 Duo with 4 GB of RAM and 3 MB of L2Cache and a 1 gigaherz bus. It has ust been updated to OSX 10.6 and it shines and twinkles and does things--many, mnay things--very, very fast. Om mane padme om.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 11:53 PM

Still!! Your jealousy is showing.


;>)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 11:48 PM

Yeah, sure. That's why the squad car rolls slowly past your house a dozen times a day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 10:09 PM

I don't think there is a virginal in a Mariachi band, either--at least I have never seen one! Virgins, now, I can provide a plenty. They seem irresistibly AttrActed to me and I can't keep them busy enough...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 10:09 PM

al.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 09:50 PM

Amos, just to show you that I hold no grudges, I will allow you a free lesson session on virginal Mariachi. You must supply your own virgin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 05:12 PM

Next you'll be saying that krumhorn and bagpipes aren't in the Mariachi tradition either! Yet you, Amos, of all people, should know better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 04:41 PM

Now, those were really different cultural sensibilities back then! Fascinating. They'd probably be very shocked to see the films we do now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 04:00 PM

There is no "alpenhorn" in Mariachi, you know. Just in case there was a question. Here's an example.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 02:55 PM

I should probably talk to Shane, then. He knows a great deal about the gutter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 02:31 PM

Mom has plans to become a one-woman Mariachi band, and I fully support her in that effort, as should we all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 02:28 PM

Hmmm...I will allow it is possible an apology is in order, sir. If in truth you have provided Mom with free learning, then I withdraw all my complaints. However, I reserve the right to discover some new dastardly twist to this tale, based on hard experience.

LH: No, I never go down there anymore, because people ask me if I am Rapparee's brother and I dare not own it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 02:22 PM

She is getting all of the lessons -- cello, harmonica, ukulele, bagpipes, smallpipes, sitar, krumhorn, forminx, alpenhorn, bowed psalter, nose flute, piccolo, bouzuki, cymbals, hammered dulcimer, bodhran, carnyx, and of course, glass harmonica -- gratis, free for nothing.

What sort of cad do you think I am, sir, that I would charge Mom?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 02:05 PM

Will I find YOU there? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 01:47 PM

Subcontemptuous conduct can be quantified along a spectrum ranging from utter slimeball to barely subcontemptible.

I do not bother to analyze it further in these hallowed halls. You may go to the gutter if you want to find an expert.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 01:45 PM

Okay. So if it's beneath contempt...ummm...where exactly is it? I mean...on what specific level? How do we describe it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 11:20 AM

Rapparee obviously convined her to send him $150--which she can ill afford--to sign up for his mariachi band lessons. Such conduct is beneath contempt!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 10:57 AM

Spoken like a true obloquoyeur!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 10:50 AM

And I heard her practicing the ukelele in the bathroom!

You boys haven't been asking Mom for money, have you? I'm worried that she's working up some songs to take on the road.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 10:47 AM

"... for eternal obloquoy." Pretty strong language there, A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 10:35 AM

Oooh, villain, cad, bounder! Your own MOTHER!! For fie, for shame, for eternal obloquoy!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 10 - 10:16 AM

Mom's taking Mariachi harmonica lessons. Let her practice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 11:58 PM

MOM, the Chet Atkins special is on PBS, and Emmylou just came on. Put down that harmonica and listen for a while!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 11:38 PM

That will be an occasion indeed!! A first, on my oath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 08:18 PM

more until I can again prove my modesty and restraint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 08:18 PM

Just two


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 08:09 PM

Hey, you knew him too? A good man, Tom. Deserves a lot more credit than he's given.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 07:44 PM

We have never seen, in our time, nature go out of her course. But we have good reason to believe that millions of lies have been told in the same time. It is therefore at least millions to one that the reporter of a miracle tells a lie.

My old drinking buddy Tom "The Man" Paine said that.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 06:27 PM

Oh, so now you're running a protection rackets as WELL? You ARE a busy li'l be!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 06:13 PM

Okay. Jist remember, them who ain't with us are agin us. And if you ain't gonna koff up the ducats, you ain't with us. So, you better watch yerself and yer gittar. Just a, you know, word to the wise....

Sincerely,
Institute Fer Making Moolah Offa Musik


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 05:37 PM

Mwahahaha. Twenty big ones, huh? My, that comes out to about $500 a word, I guess.

Tell ya what, because I am so very fond of you, consider my labor of love in redefining your marketing materials for you a Christmas present and we'll call it even, huh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 02:41 PM

So, I've put up the seed money to get this started but more is needed. I'm in for better'n 20 big ones already. How about you kick in another USD 20 thousand and we'll go halves? This is gonna be BIG!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 02:02 PM

Fer sure, dude!! I've done half the work already!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 10 - 10:10 AM

Hey, Amos. You want in on this, huh? Twenny-five percent, say?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Dec 10 - 05:05 PM

Great font, guys!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 10 - 04:08 PM

Make The Money You
Deserve To Make


by


Bilking Suckers with Bafflegab!!



Now is the time to capitalize on whatever linguistic talents you have by
learning the popular – and profitable – art of Bafflegab Bamboozling! Yes,
you’ll begin by betraying a few close acquaintances and before you know it you’ll be the
leader of an Internet Scam Gang! Gather with your
friends and send a certified check (or cheque) for only $150.00 (US)
today to :




Bafflegab Bamboozle Institute


PO Box 4905


Pocatello, Idaho 83205-4905




Your lesson will begin when the check (or cheque) clears.


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