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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Donuel 19 May 16 - 12:17 PM
Amos 19 May 16 - 10:15 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 May 16 - 11:09 PM
gnu 18 May 16 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 18 May 16 - 09:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 May 16 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 18 May 16 - 07:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 May 16 - 06:57 AM
Amos 18 May 16 - 03:43 AM
Rapparee 17 May 16 - 09:26 PM
Amos 17 May 16 - 06:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 May 16 - 04:34 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 16 - 08:23 PM
Rapparee 16 May 16 - 07:19 AM
Amos 16 May 16 - 12:56 AM
gnu 15 May 16 - 07:34 PM
Amos 15 May 16 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 15 May 16 - 04:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 May 16 - 10:21 AM
Rapparee 15 May 16 - 08:23 AM
Rapparee 14 May 16 - 03:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 May 16 - 12:21 PM
Rapparee 14 May 16 - 11:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 May 16 - 11:05 AM
Amos 14 May 16 - 02:02 AM
Amos 14 May 16 - 01:59 AM
Amos 13 May 16 - 08:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 May 16 - 07:42 PM
Rapparee 13 May 16 - 03:03 AM
Little Hawk 12 May 16 - 11:37 PM
Amos 12 May 16 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 12 May 16 - 07:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 May 16 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 12 May 16 - 06:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 May 16 - 06:38 PM
Amos 12 May 16 - 09:09 AM
Rapparee 12 May 16 - 08:34 AM
Amos 11 May 16 - 08:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 May 16 - 07:16 PM
Amos 11 May 16 - 04:46 PM
Amos 11 May 16 - 04:46 PM
gnu 11 May 16 - 01:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 May 16 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 10 May 16 - 11:17 PM
Little Hawk 10 May 16 - 04:15 PM
Amos 10 May 16 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 10 May 16 - 08:25 AM
Amos 10 May 16 - 01:40 AM
Rapparee 09 May 16 - 10:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 May 16 - 10:07 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 May 16 - 12:17 PM

BWL don't stop, It deserves a Silverstien conclusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 16 - 10:15 AM

Especially the anadiplosis-driven polysyllogisms, which never fail to bemuse. The Delmann tribe is offended by what I wrote about their favorite son, but at least I haven't tread on the toeses of the turrible Doelman's, or thier viperous cousins, the Booquemeisters.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 May 16 - 11:09 PM

While in reformatory school,
they fed us a disgusting gruel
comprised of Campbell's mushroom soup
and ground up bits of Hula Hoop
and chunks of rotten green bologna
that you would not want to get on ya
and moldy Quaker instant grits
that would give you the runny shits.
It looked like a huge blob of jizm
and you would die of botulism
if you should deign to eat the mess.
I'll stop here. You make up the rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 16 - 09:45 PM

Speaking of slackologies and the nonsensical, boil 1/3# of spaghetti until Al's dented, eh? Chuck in a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup (I know, I know but I bought two cans in a BOGOF fer shits and giggles) and then squeeze in, to taste (I know) chicken Brovil from one of them there half gallon Costco riggings. Gross? Yeah. Mess up my guts tomorrow and clock out my BP? Yeah. But, dammit, every half dozen years, I gots ta have me GRUEL! no matter how cruel. I will post again when I am able.

I feel wobbly.

gnightgnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 16 - 09:43 PM

Yes, although those old time Greeks were soooo uptight they only created tautology. They also created sorites, or polysyllogisms, of which the term sowrongies is used for the opposite. The opposite of polysyllogism is, of course, monosyllogism. Both polysyllogism and monosyllogism must be differentiated from monosyllabic and polysyllabic, which refer to operands within the mathematics of the quantum universe, although they can refer to (for example) a polysyllogistic monosyllable therein. I would provide examples of both polysyllogistic and monosyllogistic monosyllable and polysyllables save that they are so eensy-weensy tiny you couldn't see them (which makes it difficult for those working in the field of eensy-weensy tiny things).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 May 16 - 09:01 PM

Is the opposite of a tautology a slackology?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 16 - 07:54 PM

Other than getting my name wrong and thereby giving the credit to someone else, Amos, as usual, has managed to construct a tautology fraught ideation applicable only to another universe and dimension.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 May 16 - 06:57 AM

While it is true that god-knows-who created "asshole", it was actually created by god-knows-whom. How one person could create something while that same thing was created by someone else is a paradox akin to one hand ceasing to clap and beginning to beat the shit out of a hubless wheel with a tire iron.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 16 - 03:43 AM

R'lyehian is a fictional language created by H.P. Lovecraft . Rapparree is a fictional character created by Michael Delmann. Asshole is a fictional construct created by god-knows-who to describe both.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 16 - 09:26 PM

My, my, you can certainly look things up Amos! I must congratulate you on that and also on your mastery of R'lyehian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 16 - 06:59 PM

Ambrolic is not actually a language. It is the name of a methyl ester, a triterpenoid, C30-H48-O3, which has a molecular mass of 456.7153 and a melting point of 273º F.

It is also the name of an obscure missionary church run by The Free Christian Church of Scotland in the back hills of China to educate young girls into correct enslavement devotion to the Scriptures.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 May 16 - 04:34 PM

Determining how often a married man has been wrong in the last 50 years is a simple process. Assuming that he has been wrong 100% of the time during married years, simply divide the number of those years by 50. For example, I have been married 42 of the last 50 years, so I have been wrong 84% of the time. The last time I was right was in 1987, during the interregnum between my first and second marriages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 16 - 08:23 PM

How often have you been wrong in the last 50 years?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 16 - 07:19 AM

I would have thought that...no, never mind. Obviously my thoughts would have been in error. Still....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 May 16 - 12:56 AM

I drove not only myself, but two local friends who were also attending. So the time passed in pleasant conversation. But your suggestions are greatly appreciated; wish I had thought of them earlier! A chopper would have really done the trick!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 May 16 - 07:34 PM

5 hour drive? You drove? Yourself? Why didn't you take the chopper or at least have Jeeves drive the limo? Tsk tsk. You have to take better care of yourself, man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 May 16 - 06:20 PM

ALas, it was the simplest of typos--the "o" and the "i" being right beside each other. It was a bIg party, and the only bogs involved were tiled, stainless, and softly lit high-roller bathrooms. A good time was had by all.

I am now home and tomorrow my beloved companion Maggie Darlin' Dogg will be returned to me. Which I look forward to.

Meanwhile, I am weary from five hours' driving straight down the 15/215 from Vegas and am going to nap, so there.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 16 - 04:54 PM

He may have gotten the constant wrong and it could be a hog party. Or a nog or vog party -- the latter is a term used in Hawai'i for a fog containing volcanic gases. Or the word might not be English, as Amos is fluent in many languages including Midland Welsh, Yukanese, and Ambrolic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 16 - 10:21 AM

I have been giving this "bog party" thing a bit of consideration, and have determined that there is a possibility "bog" is a typo. Amos could have simply meant a "big party". Or perhaps it's a "beg party" in which the participants dress shabbily and stand on Fremont Street, tin cups in hand, begging for spare change from high rollers. Or maybe a "bug party", wherein a boxful of poisonous insects is released into a roomful of blindfolded, but otherwise naked, partygoers. But I think it's probable he meant a "bag party" in which everyone removes their clothes, places large brown paper bags over their heads, and proceeds to have anonymous sexual relations with as many other participants, of either sex, as possible. Or maybe he meant all of the above. It is, after all, Las Vegas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 16 - 08:23 AM

It's not generally known how tough Amos is. These days you see a mild-mannered guy playing a guitar or lute and singing gentle love ballads. But this is the same man who once in a bar in Papeetee, when confronted by a mean drunk with a large revolver, bit the barrel closed just as the gun was fired and then spit the bullet into the drunk's eye. He used to get his snap, crackle, and pop for breakfast by eating a bowl of blasting caps. He still sobers up on raw alcohol. Years ago, while backpacking in the Alps, a local alpenhornist mocked Amos's abilities and Amos doubled the 'range' of an alpenhorn using a cheap tin whistle; this also caused a rockslide which blocked a vital road but Amos had it clear in minutes. His parents learned not to send him for milk as he would return with a cow under each arm. He was not permitted to enlist in the Marines, the Foreign Legion, or Spetsnaz because 'he plays too rough.' Remember these things the next time you decide to mock him for blowing a note or missing a word in a song and be glad he controls his temper by blackjacking himself before he gets angry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 16 - 03:56 PM

That's my take on it. Except it probably not at one of those fancy places with running water. Amos isn't one of the fancy-shancy types. He's tough -- for example, his toilet paper is never greater than 100 grit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 May 16 - 12:21 PM

So this Las Vegas bog party isn't about four-wheel-drive trucks and mud, but about seeing how many people can be crammed into the men's room on the main casino floor at the Bellagio? Sounds like fun. I'm sure a Bellagio men's room is nicer than my house (unless some drunk Texan has recently barfed on the floor).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 16 - 11:50 AM

'Bog' is an old term for the jakes, the WC, the stable Tom Crapper's mount, where you keep the porcelain throne. it's the necessary room, the powder room, the backhouse, the latrine.

For some reason Amos is going to a party in a Las Vegas outhouse. I suppose it's a multi-holer since there are usually more than a few people at a party, unless it's one of mine. In any case, he's sure to get stinkin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 May 16 - 11:05 AM

Amos is going to a bog party in Las Vegas? Don't bog parties require lots of water? Isn't Las Vegas in the desert where water costs, like, $3.50 a gallon? Shouldn't it be a dust party? I'm confused. Mom's confused. Even Gluon's confused and he, by virtue of his ability to fold the space-time continuum, has already been to the bog party and says a good time was/will be had by all, the bog-in-the-desert paradox notwithstanding..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 16 - 02:02 AM

Here's something to see, indeed! Did you have any idea how many airplanes the human race is using in every damn moment??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 16 - 01:59 AM

I've been using flightaware.com to track BBW's progress. She has landed in Dakar, Senegal and takes off shortly for Johannesburg, a full seven hours away. Africa is considerably larger than most people over here think of it as being.

And so it goes. We shall see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 16 - 08:49 PM

Cutches is as clutches does, I allus say. Hey, Mom, I am off to a bog party in Las VEgas! Yeehaw. BBW is half-way to Dakar right about now. How about that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 May 16 - 07:42 PM

Mom! Grab the end of this heavy-duty chain attached to the bumper hitch on my pickup truck and hold on tight! You ready? Here we go.... VAROOOM!   SKRITCH!   CLUNK!

There! Back to the top again!


(I hope that didn't burn out the clutch in my poor old truck.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 16 - 03:03 AM

The old "chicks dig poets" ploy, eh? That used to work back when I was a college sophomore, yup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 May 16 - 11:37 PM

Good idea, Amos. I feel reasonably sure that Penelope Rutledge attends a poetry club of posh women who would positively swoon if they got a look at your heroic verses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 16 - 08:53 PM

Oh, pah! Pfui. I will send my poetry to one of Little Hawk's imaginary women of breeding from now on. I am sure it will be admired for its profundity, sensitivity, delicacy of form, clarity of scansion and subtlety of rhyming scheme. It is modeled on the long-esteemed Lawrence Welk school of poetry, you know...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 16 - 07:37 PM

Oh well. I'll figure another way to do the volutary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 May 16 - 06:58 PM

Amos, the epic Homeric poetry was greatly admired. I was going to post a note of appreciation when I suddenly realized I have no plinths. The state of utter plinthlessness briefly drove all other considerations from my consciousness, but I am now somewhat recovered.

Rap, I do have a number of volutes. Unfortunately, they are attached to musical instruments and I'm not going to break them off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 16 - 06:45 PM

By definition epic poetry deals with heroic, sweeping, themes such as Cuchulain's defense of Ulster, the siege and destruction of Troy, or the Nibelunglied. I will grant that the eight year attempt by Diarmid O'Leary to take over Aer Lingus has sweep in time, but hardly in subject. Translating the story of Da Dearga's hostel also may be considered a subject worthy of a hero, but again it is hardly has the sweep and grandeur of, say, "Eiríks saga rauğa" or "Grœnlendinga saga".

As for your humble poem, it is quite nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 May 16 - 06:38 PM

A young lady called Hyacinth
Was lost in a huge labyrinth
'Til she happened to find
A directional sign
On a pillar atop a stone plinth


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 16 - 09:09 AM

Epic Homeric poetry ignored in favor of quotidien architectural cockamamie. I swan!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 16 - 08:34 AM

It's okay, Bee-Dub. I don't have a volute. If you have one and are willing to swap, I have an architrave and a plinth but the plinth is kinda chipped in a couple of places where...never mind, it's a story full of irrelevancies. I've just had the plinth tuned up, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 16 - 08:39 PM

I dunno, BeeDub==plinths are pretty basic. Maybe you should contact a support group?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 May 16 - 07:16 PM

Mom! I do not have a plinth! I just realized as much! I have more fishing rods, musical instruments, firearms, and tools than I really need, but not a single plinth! Something must be done to remedy this oversight! Is there a store called "Plinths R Us"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 16 - 04:46 PM

I'd sooner bathe in a Syrian sewerline, I think. At least no one would be pretending it was champagne.

Fast and bulbous was the night
And dim and fleeting was the light,
The night O'Leary flipped his top
And drove through Texas, would not stop

For flashing lights or boring signs
Pursued by devils in his mind.!
Through Dallas, Arlington he ran
Down into Austin, where the Man

Pursued him with a fleet of cars
Past houses, coffee shops and bars.
Into the long dark Texas night
He madly drove, intent on flight.

He headed south at awful speed
Pursued by lawmen for his deeds.
He sped straight down to San Antone
Ignoring wind and siren moan,

And flashing lights on cars official!
His state of mind was something special.
His speedo smoked! His tires whined!
He half-erased the yellow line!

Ignoring law, and sense of right
He crossed the long, dark, Texas night.
Toward Corpus Christi then he fled
His brain aflame, his eyeballs red,

Then, bearing right as he ate up ground,
He set his sights on Brownsville town.
But as he rolled through Brownsville, he
Perceived the wide and lapping sea,

And hurtled leftward with a smile
Aiming toward South Padre Isle.
The evening sky was all aglow,
His tires smoked, his fuel was low,

His hair blew madly 'round his head
When he finally saw the beach ahead.
He was doing ninety in a fifty zone!
He knew that he was not alone!

Behind him shimmering in the air
Were city cops, and ten state bears,
Their sirens screaming in pursuit
To give O'Leary's ass the boot!

The smell of ozone, tide and damp
Came through the windows, and the lamp
Blinking and calling through the night
Beckoned from Padre Island light.

The time was short, the bears were near,
When quickly up the berm he steered,
INto the air, past factories facing
Onto the old Goose Island Basin

And knowing then he'd done enough
Gave himself over to the Gulf.
Gave up control of his wild Camaro,
And yielded him up to death and sorrow.

Now, shells, and cold dark waters weary
Mark the remains of poor O'Leary.
His fancy car subsides to rust
His dreams now gone, his bones now dust.

He leaves a heart-broke Mom and Pappy;
But at least he made the fishes happy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 16 - 04:46 PM

I'd sooner bathe in a Syrian sewerline, I think. At least no one would be pretending it was champagne.

Fast and bulbous was the night
And dim and fleeting was the light,
The night O'Leary flipped his top
And drove through Texas, would not stop

For flashing lights or boring signs
Pursued by devils in his mind.!
Through Dallas, Arlington he ran
Down into Austin, where the Man

Pursued him with a fleet of cars
Past houses, coffee shops and bars.
Into the long dark Texas night
He madly drove, intent on flight.

He headed south at awful speed
Pursued by lawmen for his deeds.
He sped straight down to San Antone
Ignoring wind and siren moan,

And flashing lights on cars official!
His state of mind was something special.
His speedo smoked! His tires whined!
He half-erased the yellow line!

Ignoring law, and sense of right
He crossed the long, dark, Texas night.
Toward Corpus Christi then he fled
His brain aflame, his eyeballs red,

Then, bearing right as he ate up ground,
He set his sights on Brownsville town.
But as he rolled through Brownsville, he
Perceived the wide and lapping sea,

And hurtled leftward with a smile
Aiming toward South Padre Isle.
The evening sky was all aglow,
His tires smoked, his fuel was low,

His hair blew madly 'round his head
When he finally saw the beach ahead.
He was doing ninety in a fifty zone!
He knew that he was not alone!

Behind him shimmering in the air
Were city cops, and ten state bears,
Their sirens screaming in pursuit
To give O'Leary's ass the boot!

The smell of ozone, tide and damp
Came through the windows, and the lamp
Blinking and calling through the night
Beckoned from Padre Island light.

The time was short, the bears were near,
When quickly up the berm he steered,
INto the air, past factories facing
Onto the old Goose Island Basin

And knowing then he'd done enough
Gave himself over to the Gulf.
Gave up control of his wild Camaro,
And yielded him up to death and sorrow.

Now, shells, and cold dark waters weary
Mark the remains of poor O'Leary.
His fancy car subsides to rust
His dreams now gone, his bones now dust.

He leaves a heart-broke Mom and Pappy;
But at least he made the fishes happy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 May 16 - 01:30 PM

I'll have what he's havin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 May 16 - 10:45 AM

Hi, Mom!

When Captain Beefheart remarked, on the album Trout Mask Replica, "A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous," did he mean that the squid is fast and bulbous or that the entire Gestalt of the squid, the dough, and the polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous? Would it still be fast and bulbous if the squid were eating Cream of Wheat? What if the bag were made of Mylar instead of polyethylene? And what of the tin teardrop?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 16 - 11:17 PM

Amos, if you wish you may visit me and bathe yourself in my wisdom. If you are wise, however, you might only visit me.

As for Chongx Chimp, pimping your sister and mother to raise the money to sail on a tramp steamer carrying a load of black market bananas to Erie, Pennsylvania isn't usually considered a good background for a presidential candidate. Passing oneself off as a hard boiled private shamus when you only got experience as a gunsel in a scummy howler monkey drum (even if it is owned by an uncle) or as a cinder dick for the Algoma Central don't make you a high pillow. And don't jump the track or go all ing-bing or I'll give you a pill you don't have to swallow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 16 - 04:15 PM

Just as Chongo Chimp, once arrested for minor gangland misdemeanors in New York when he was young and foolish, has later in life become a pillar of virtue, a brave defender of the law, an ape who is universally admired by women almost everywhere, and the one and only presidential candidate who strikes fear into the heart of Donald Trump!

Lo, how the fallen have become mighty! (As Amos said.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 16 - 12:27 PM

Rapparree is a good and decent man, wide of wisdom and deep of knowledge, far-reaching in his ability to conjure thought with the snap of a metaphorical finger, rich in understanding. This is quite an accomplishment. To think he was once a Marxist plagiarist! Lo how the fallen are become mighty!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 16 - 08:25 AM

Yeah, the Tao Te Ching has a lot of truth in it, as do other, similar, writings.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 16 - 01:40 AM

Specious and jenune semantic flibberty-gibbetism. Even though true! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 16 - 10:14 PM

Naught but Bee-Dub and I hold fast to Mother MOAB! Those who care are but us two, but we shall be strong and fast! No surrender! MOAB abu!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 May 16 - 10:07 AM

♩♪♫♬

Walk me out in the morning duality....

♩♪♫♬


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