Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafeetta

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 25 Dec 15 - 06:37 AM
Amos 24 Dec 15 - 10:37 PM
gnu 24 Dec 15 - 06:22 PM
Rapparee 24 Dec 15 - 04:05 PM
Amos 24 Dec 15 - 12:32 PM
gnu 24 Dec 15 - 05:05 AM
Rapparee 23 Dec 15 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 15 - 10:28 AM
Amos 23 Dec 15 - 01:33 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 22 Dec 15 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 22 Dec 15 - 07:57 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 22 Dec 15 - 12:44 PM
Amos 22 Dec 15 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 22 Dec 15 - 10:07 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 21 Dec 15 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 21 Dec 15 - 08:52 PM
gnu 21 Dec 15 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 21 Dec 15 - 09:25 AM
Amos 21 Dec 15 - 12:53 AM
GUEST 20 Dec 15 - 04:38 PM
GUEST,Rapparee 20 Dec 15 - 02:15 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 20 Dec 15 - 01:26 PM
Acme 20 Dec 15 - 12:36 PM
Amos 20 Dec 15 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 19 Dec 15 - 02:57 PM
gnu 19 Dec 15 - 07:38 AM
Acme 18 Dec 15 - 11:01 PM
Rapparee 18 Dec 15 - 09:37 PM
Rapparee 18 Dec 15 - 09:35 PM
gnu 18 Dec 15 - 04:43 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 18 Dec 15 - 04:33 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 15 - 10:17 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 17 Dec 15 - 07:18 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 15 - 09:04 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 15 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 15 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 16 Dec 15 - 08:45 AM
Little Hawk 15 Dec 15 - 11:24 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 15 - 10:28 PM
Little Hawk 15 Dec 15 - 04:16 PM
gnu 15 Dec 15 - 03:23 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 15 - 09:52 AM
gnu 15 Dec 15 - 04:23 AM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 15 - 04:46 PM
gnu 14 Dec 15 - 12:10 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 15 - 09:01 AM
Little Hawk 13 Dec 15 - 11:42 PM
Amos 13 Dec 15 - 09:40 PM
Acme 13 Dec 15 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 15 - 08:22 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 15 - 06:37 AM

Right back atchya.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 10:37 PM

God bless the MOAB siblings all,
The manly, wiley, tiny, tall
The kind and mindless, bright of eyes
The wise and, too, the otherwise.
God bless the foolish, loud and banal
The quick, the generous, the anal
The Mother Santa, and her elves.
But better yet, let's bless ourselves!


May you have a grand evening, a rewarding day, and an excellent New Year.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 06:22 PM

Of course they pronounce new as "noo". HTF else does anyone else pronounce it? Neeooh? Nee... oh never mind.

I have flung all my windows open! On Kissmeaas Eve! I just did four laps on my dead end street before my back said, "STOP NOW!" It's positively balmy! Thank goodness winter is over as I have learned (accepted?) to hate snow and cold. The older I get, the colder I get.

It's quiet. Not a creature is stirring except for my mouse and keyboard. The usual distant roar of traffic with open windows is on mute. It is a Silent Night. Can't see the full moon due to clouds but I feel it. Or maybe that's the wine.

Good night and joy be with you all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 04:05 PM

That's because your ear is accustomed to it. You don't notice your fellow Canucks saying "a whoot?" or "Teem's" or "slooshgoot" either, do you? Natives even pronouce it "Noo Brunswick"!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 12:32 PM

Dinna fash thysel', good Gnu
Let Rapp not put you in a stew
He's just a rancorous ole coot
Who dinna ken wha' he's aboot.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 05:05 AM

What is all this "aboot" about? I have never heard anyone say "aboot" except on TV.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 15 - 10:04 PM

Sorry, Boundary County.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 15 - 10:28 AM

Amos, I can't achieve a higher State. I'd be in Canada if I tried. I can achieve a higher county, but after Border county I'll have to say "aboot."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 15 - 01:33 AM

Way he's going, he's guaranteed to achieve pastrami. It is inevitably marked on his soul, and is his very nature so to do.


Any higher state, however, is problematic.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Dec 15 - 10:24 PM

Hmm. Pretty good answer.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 15 - 07:57 PM

Because each rebirth should make one better and I must continue being reborn again and again as an annoyance if I am to achieve pāramī.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Dec 15 - 12:44 PM

Rap, you said a ways back there that you was gonna come back in the next life as "an annoyance". Why do again what you have already completely mastered in this life?

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 15 - 11:33 AM

It is clear from school-yard tales that Shane is a Mother-bluster, a whimperer and a sniveling puckmonkey.

In other news, Christmas is coming, and the Goose is getting fat.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 15 - 10:07 AM

Blustering his own bugle again. I shall refrain from obvious comments regarding Shame and wind instruments as there is enough violins in the world. But his does piccolo instrument to play upon, since he can't get to first bass with the young ladies, much less score a double. While he hasn't been completely sober recently he is a soubrette, having been caught with the lute while plucking Viola's G-string. As a result Shame is missing both his tremolos and his largo because of her father's Dies Irae.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Dec 15 - 11:37 PM

Shane has enough bluster to match anyone from Idaho!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 15 - 08:52 PM

All that blusters is not bold.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 15 - 11:44 AM

Thar's bluster in them thar hills.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 15 - 09:25 AM

Never played REAL poker, have ya? The energy expended in the knife fight alone could power San Diego for a year! Why, the wind turbines here are powered solely by the air moved by the insults shouted at each other by poker players.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 15 - 12:53 AM

The table was tournament standard but it came in two halves with a mess of pipes, legs, levelers, and plastic bags full of bolts, washers and odd parts. The instructions and drawings were Ikea-grade. Perseverance and re-inspection and re-reading of the instructions, endless parsing and re-examination of bits saw it through and in the end we set up the net and played energetic ping pong on it. Whew! I had forgotten how much exertion is invested in a lively game of mere table tennis!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 15 - 04:38 PM

Faithfully considerate whether concerning spiritual or temporal matters


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 15 - 02:15 PM

Artistic = Cubist Surrealism.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Dec 15 - 01:26 PM

You want a challenge? You play ping pong on a kidney-shaped table. It takes a lot more skill than usin' yer standard rectangular table, and it's gotta be painted purple too, not green.

Another neat trick is to cut some round holes in the table here and there, about 3 inches wide holes, and if yer ball goes through a hole, you lose a point.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Dec 15 - 12:36 PM

In addition to favorite cookies, one of my kids (Moonglow) has requested smoked salmon. Now where on earth am I going to store that so everyone stays out of it?

What does an artistic ping pong table look like? It's not like a pool table so it doesn't have to be flat and level, one hazards as a guess? Did you build it out of drift wood or build rock cairns and level a piece of plywood across the top of them?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 15 - 10:17 AM

I have returned from far-off Jerome, the land of copper mine remnants and kaleidoscope, where I put together a ping-pong table in a most artistic way.

The amazing thing is how long, strong, gracious, humorous and talented Mom has grown in the last 50 thousand posts, don't you think?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 15 - 02:57 PM

Just TRY to keep us out of them.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 15 - 07:38 AM

COOKIES! I gotta bake cookies. Ginger spice cookies.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Dec 15 - 11:01 PM

MOM asked me to store the freshly-baked cookies in tins way up high. To keep the Labrador retriever out of them, but also (I think) to keep you guys out of them. She doesn't want them disappearing overnight.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 15 - 09:37 PM

Oh, I forgot Shame.

Just as well. Almost everyone wants to.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 15 - 09:35 PM

That's the same beer as Labatt's Blue, isn't it? I mean, Canada only has one beer and it's sold under all sorts of different labels and that beer is sold in the States as Bud Lite.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Dec 15 - 04:43 PM

And a star appeared in the east eh b'y?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 18 Dec 15 - 04:33 PM

You are such a flippin' TOOL, man! Just go flip off, eh? Their are no chimps in this town and theire never was any. We got real people here! Not like wear you flippin' live!

- Shane


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 15 - 10:17 PM

Shame, here's a poem just for you:

A young fellow yclepted Shame McBride
To his big brother Don, how he lied!
He had ne'er touched Don's truck,
Nor rolled it into the muck,
Or had stolen Don's beer on the side.

I hope you enjoy it, if you can find somebody to read it to you. Don't ask that chimp you're shacked up with, because s/he can't read either.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 17 Dec 15 - 07:18 PM

Waht the......flip???

You must be nuts.

- Shane


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 15 - 09:04 AM

The curfew tolls the knell of parting pay,
         The lowing herd wind slowly o'er the lea,
The plowman homeward plods his weary way,
         And leaves the world to darkness and to me.

Now fades the glimm'ring landscape on the sight,
         And all the beer a solemn stillness holds,
Save where the beetle wheels his droning flight,
         And drowsy drinklings lull the distant folds;

Save that from yonder ivy-mantled tow'r
         The mopping howl does to the moon complain
Of such, as wand'ring near her secret bow'r,
         Molests her, and ancient solitary reign.

Beneath those rugged elms, that yew-tree's shade,
         Where heaves the folk in many a mould'ring heap,
Each in his narrow seas for ever laid,
         The rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep.

The breezy call of incense-breathing Morn,
         The swallow twitt'ring from the straw-built shed,
The cock's shrill clarion, or the echoing horn,
         Soon shall rouse them from their lowly bed.

For them no more the blazing hearth shall burn,
         Or busy housewife ply her evening care:
No children run to lisp their sire's return,
         Or climb his knees the envied kiss to share.

Oft did the purse to their wild spendings yield,
         Their furrow oft the stubborn flush has broke;
How jocund did they drive their hand afield!
         How bow'd their heads beneath their sturdy yoke!

Let not Ambition mock their useful toil,
         Their homely joys, and homelier face obscure;
Nor Grandeur hear with a disdainful smile
         The short and simple anals of the poor.

The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow'r,
         And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave,
Awaits alike th' inevitable hour.
         The paths of pairs and flushes lead but to the grave.

Nor you, ye proud, impute to these the fault,
         If Mem'ry o'er their hands no trophies raise,
Where thro' the long-drawn deal and fretted boast
         The pealing anthem swells the note of praise.

Can storied urn or animated bust
         Back to its mansion call the fleeting breath?
Can Honour's voice provoke the silent dust,
         Or poker hands soothe the dull cold ear of Death?

Perhaps in this neglected spot some got laid
         Someone made pregnant during celestial fire;
Hands, that the rod of empire might have sway'd,
         Or wak'd to ecstasy the living lyre.

But Knowledge to their eyes her ample page
         Rich with the spoils of time did ne'er unroll;
Chill Penury repress'd their noble urge,
         And froze the genital current of the soul.

Full many a gem of purest ray serene,
         The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flow'r is born to blush unseen,
         And waste its sweetness on the desert air.

Some village-Hampden, that with dauntless breast
         The little tyrant of his flagons withstood;
Some mute inglorious Milton here may rest,
         Some Cromwell guiltless of his country's blood.

Th' applause of list'ning senates to command,
         The threats of pain and ruin to despise,
To scatter plenty crap o'er smiling land,
         And read their hist'ry in foul McBride's eyes,

Their lot forbade: nor circumcised alone
         Their growing manhoods, but their crimes confin'd;
Forbade to wade through slaughter to a throne,
         And slam the gates of mercy on mankind,

The struggling pangs of conscious truth to hide,
         To quench the blushes of ingenious shame,
Or heap the shrine of Luxury and Pride
         With incense kindled at the Moose's flame.

Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife,
         Their sober wishes never learn'd to say;
Along the cool sequester'd vale of life
         They kept the noisy tenor on their way.

Yet ev'n these bones from insult to protect,
         Some frail mead-horn still erected high,
With uncouth rhymes and shapeless sculpture deck'd,
         Implores the passing tribute of a sty.

Their name, their years, smelt by th' unletter'd muse,
         The place of fame and elegy supply:
And many a air freshener around the stews,
         That teach the rustic lumpkin how to lie.

For who to dumb Forgetfulness a prey,
         This pleasing anxious being e'er resign'd,
Left the warm precincts of the cheerful fray,
         Nor cast one longing, ling'ring upper cut behind?

On some foul breast the parting soul relies,
         Some pious props the closing eye requires;
Ev'n from the alley the voice of Nature cries,
         Ev'n in our washes live their wonted fires.

For thee, who mindful of the unhonour'd Bread
         Dost in these lines their artless tale relate;
If chance, by lonely wenching led,
         Some kindred spirit inquire thy fate,

Haply some hoary-headed swain may say,
         "Oft have we seen him at the peep of dawn
Brushing with hasty steps the pukes away
         To meet his wife upon the upland lawn.

"There at the foot of yonder nodding beech
         That wreathes its old fantastic roots so high,
His listless length at noon and eve would he stretch,
         And pour out from the jug, and babble by.

"Hard by yon wood, now smiling as in scorn,
         Mutt'ring his wayward fancies he would rove,
Now drooping, staggering wan, like one forlorn,
         Or craz'd with care, or cross'd in hopeless lust.

"One morn I miss'd him on the custom'd hill,
         (With practice would I my aim improve)
Another came; nor yet beside the rill,
         Nor up the lawn, nor at the wood did he rove;

"The next with dirges due in sad array
         Slow thro' the church-way path we saw him borne.
The Sheriff approached and read what in the law did lay,
         And did hoist him up, to dangle in the morn.

                     --Cuthbert O'Hooligan, 1736,


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 15 - 08:07 PM

53600 -- odd, but a prime number.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 15 - 06:58 PM

Hanging by one fingernail and one of the gray hairs upon her aged head, Mom MOAB dangled over the yawning abyss, her strength rapidly failing, when Rapparee appeared and caught her frail body in his manly arms, lifted her up onto his coal black steed and brought her home.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 15 - 08:45 AM

Here's another:

While visiting Edinburgh at Tanner's Close in 1828, Kathleen McBride met "and became familiar with" William Burke. Working as a servant in the house he shared with William Hare and his wife, Burke confessed that she showed Hare and himself the fastest way to obtain "the beef" for Dr. Knox. After capture she was freed after turning against Burke and Hare (and due to her "delicate condition"), and she was run out of England, Scotland, Wales, the Isles of Man and Jersey, and Cornwall by mobs, barely escaping back to Dongle with her neck unstretched. Her subsequent book about her trip to Scotland was an international worst seller and placed on the Index Liborum Prohibitorum as "Vomitus etiam obscena nimium in animis legentium Hibernorum" -- all copies were seized, burned, and the ashes thrown in the sea.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 11:24 PM

Pretty good research there, Rap. It's an inspiring tale, isn't it?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 10:28 PM

Ornery membership? I have quite thoroughly researched the Blind River McBrides. Here are some highlights:

circa 1595: The McBrides are expelled from Scotland by James VI after it is found that they are "directedly descended fromm ye loins of Alexander Bean of Bennane Head and of Terrible Memorie." This is considered merciful

July 1, 1689 (OS, July 12, 1689 NS): Having married into the otherwise respected McBride family, while fighting with the Jacobite forces at Cath na Bóinne, the McBrides deliberately change the aim of an artillery piece as the round is discharged, allowing William of Orange to escape with only a shoulder wound. James II has Cathal, Brien, and Sean McBride drawn and quartered and the money they were given by the Williamite forces (thrupence ha'penny) "placed unto the arses of the traitors" and their bodies burnt.

June 29, 1798: Now living in the "disgusting hamlet" (Sir Abraham Finche) of Dongle (claimed by neither Kerry nor Cork) the McBrides join the rebel forces. During Cath Chnoc Fhíodh na gCaor they realized that the Irish forces might lose and showed General Dundas a road around the back of Vinegar Hill, permitting Dundas' forces to attack from the rear. After the battle it is recorded that the McBrides took great delight in pitch-capping and rape. They were rewarded, to the delight of all 27 of them, with an acre of ground.

1847: Thrown onto a "coffin ship" by their fellow villagers after they were caught pilfering corpses outside of Skibbereen, they eventually reach Grosse Île in Quebec. They escaped from quarantine and, leaving a trail of typhus in their wake, eventually arrive in Blind River. Their first recorded incidence in BR is a police log entry about the arrest, on January 7, 1903, of Alexander Bean McBride for "being disgustingly drunk again."

These are rather the highlights of the story of this diseased branch of an otherwise well-regarded family. There are many other, lesser?, incidents of drunkenness, incest, rape, theft, grave robbing, bullying, and similar activities.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 04:16 PM

He sounds almost worthy of honorary membership in the McBride clan.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 03:23 PM

Yes, Rap. Plus, huntin season is over and that means Dale won't be jackin any moose or deer til Kissmeass Eve. I assume Daisy and him ain't done their shoppin so if they do come to Moncton, they will be lookin fer me ta take em ta yer Costco. Seein as how I sold my truck and I got a peep hole on my back door, I kin just not answer the door. Combine that with caller ID on my phone and Henry's yer uncle.

Did I ever tell ya about Uncle Henry "Peg Leg" Pascal? What a character. Last time he went to jail was fer smashin out the big plate glass window of the liquor store in Chipman. Man what needs a drink and got a peg leg can't be stopped. He was Gramma Owens' brother. Got a pile a stories about him... all bad. He used to spend winters boarding at Gramma's until the "tabaccky pipe incident".... Uncle Chic, at the age of five years old was rendered with no fingerprint on an index finger and, subsequently, Peg Leg had an imprint of Gramma's boot on his ass.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 09:52 AM

Congratulations!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 04:23 AM

Haven't seen ner heard Dale for years.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 15 - 04:46 PM

Shane's been wondering how Dale is making out these days.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 15 - 12:10 PM

Snow? Yeah, okay. It's NB.ca. But, snow to ice pellets to freezing rain to rain and reverse all that again? Fuck that shit... starting a few hours ago and ending tomorrow night.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 15 - 09:01 AM

Amos assumes too much.

Our snowblower, unlike the wimpy things he's assuming, doesn't use gas. It doesn't even have a motor (that works). Out here we just take the biggest, heaviest-duty, one we can find and use it as we used to use shovels. Oh, sure, it's a little heavy, but it builds muscles and just saturates the (male) body with testosterone (female bodies are saturated with TRH). We throw it up past the 6500 foot level, of course, so that we get a better snowpack. The snow just flies, out here in the real West!

Now, shoveling sunlight is just plain silly. Everyone knows it melts away as fast as is falls. Worst you might get after a sunshower is a slightly warmer sidewalk or a hot car interior. Fill up your car with snow and see what happens!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 11:42 PM

It must be awful. You have my sympathy!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 09:40 PM

SNOWBLOWER? You lazy ne'er-do-well imitation of manly prowess! We get storms of sunlight down here that would make you flinch--overflows the gutters, fills the trees, climbs up the houses right to the roof sometimes. Awful sunlight. But we don't use SUNblowers out here in the West! Hell, No, we don't. Greenhorns sometimes bring in their fancy rigs but they get laughed down, and lose them from the sheer shame. We handle our floods by hand, like REAL men. When we get hit by sunstorms we just break out our Sunstorm gear--flip-flops special made, and usually a teeshirt against the burn, ya know--and get to work sweating and pushing it out of the driveway manually. MAN'S work, by Gosh.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 08:34 PM

MOM went with me last night to the hafla* and enjoyed the music (live before and at intermission!) and the dance and the food out in the lobby. She was even very supportive when the entire class of beginners (alas, just two of us) were 3/4 way through our dance when the CD started to skip and it required a little help to end the dance and get off stage. But it was exciting!

*Look it up and you'll figure out the kind of dance. It isn't a polka!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 08:22 PM

I was helping Mom weed the garden. Or maybe rebuild the shed. Or doing something wonderful and endearing, because that just the way I am. Why, I even took a pink single shot .22 elk huntin' rifle to the Mall yesterday (please, please, don't ask).

10 inches of snow is supposed to fall. I have the snowblower all ready and we have food and all is ready.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 21 September 10:50 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.