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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 03 Aug 07 - 09:27 AM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 08:59 AM
beardedbruce 03 Aug 07 - 07:15 AM
Acme 03 Aug 07 - 12:17 AM
Amos 03 Aug 07 - 12:04 AM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 08:45 PM
Acme 02 Aug 07 - 07:47 PM
Acme 02 Aug 07 - 07:29 PM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 07:19 PM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 03:41 PM
MMario 02 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 11:48 AM
MMario 02 Aug 07 - 10:49 AM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 10:43 AM
Acme 02 Aug 07 - 09:56 AM
Amos 02 Aug 07 - 12:48 AM
Amos 01 Aug 07 - 05:49 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 07 - 01:59 PM
Amos 01 Aug 07 - 01:53 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM
Acme 01 Aug 07 - 01:38 AM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 07 - 11:47 PM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 10:55 PM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 09:56 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 07 - 09:05 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 08:58 PM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 05:27 PM
MMario 31 Jul 07 - 04:10 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 04:09 PM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 02:41 PM
MMario 31 Jul 07 - 02:22 PM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 07 - 09:41 AM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 07 - 02:31 AM
Amos 31 Jul 07 - 01:50 AM
Rapparee 30 Jul 07 - 09:08 PM
Acme 30 Jul 07 - 08:37 PM
Amos 30 Jul 07 - 05:42 PM
Acme 30 Jul 07 - 03:55 PM
Amos 30 Jul 07 - 03:08 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 07 - 12:21 PM
Amos 30 Jul 07 - 10:55 AM
Rapparee 30 Jul 07 - 09:19 AM
Acme 30 Jul 07 - 01:54 AM
Amos 30 Jul 07 - 12:48 AM
Rapparee 29 Jul 07 - 08:17 PM
Amos 29 Jul 07 - 07:03 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:27 AM

Personally I wouldn't count ANT of them as "eastern" states. Ohio is mid-west.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM

And "MOST" of the voters voted for Bush in 2004, by your standard.

And since when is Texas "East"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 08:59 AM

Bruce, your point? I said they were in the eastern half, mostly southern, so the term mostly qualifies "southern" not "eastern". They are all in the eastern half, and most of them are down south.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 07:15 AM

"All of them in the eastern 1/2 of the nation and most of them in the South"

Texas:         Eastern?? Compared to Hawaii?
Kentucky:   ok
Michigan:      Southern? Not on my map.
Alabama:    ok
Louisiana: ok
Ohio:          Southern? I guess it is south of the Mason-Dixon line, but part of the Union during the Civil War.
Arkansas: . ok
South Dakota: Southern? Not on my map, either.
Mississippi:ok

Mostly Eastern, and a majority Southern.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 12:17 AM

All of them in the eastern 1/2 of the nation and most of them in the South. Kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 12:04 AM

Hey, I just wrote a sea-going song for a Mudcatter. Been dragging my feet on it for weeks now, and finally got 'er done.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 08:45 PM

USA Today reports:

"Texas students now pledge allegiance to 'one state, under God'

The Houston Chronicle says Texas has added the phrase "one state, under God" to its pledge of allegiance.

Since 2003, students in the Lone Star State have been required to begin their day by pledging allegiance to the state and federal governments. Students will recite the new pledge unless a parent submits a note requesting that they be exempt from the pledge requirement.

We didn't know that states had their own pledges, but the paper says Texas shares that practice with a handful of states. Here's a sampling of state pledges or salutes to the flag:

Texas: Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible.
Kentucky: I pledge allegiance to the Kentucky flag, and to the Sovereign State for
which it stands, one Commonwealth, blessed with diversity, natural wealth, beauty, and
grace from on High.
Michigan: I pledge allegiance to the flag of Michigan, and to the state for which it stands, 2 beautiful peninsulas united by a bridge of steel, where equal opportunity and justice to all is our ideal.
Alabama: Flag of Alabama I salute thee. To thee I pledge my allegiance, my service, and my life.
Louisiana: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the state of Louisiana and to the motto for which it stands: A state, under God, united in purpose and ideals, confident that justice shall prevail for all of those abiding here.
Ohio: I salute the flag of the state of Ohio and pledge to the Buckeye State respect and loyalty.
Arkansas: I Salute the Arkansas Flag With Its Diamond and Stars. We Pledge Our Loyalty to Thee.
South Dakota: I pledge loyalty and support to the flag and state of South Dakota, land of sunshine, land of infinite variety.
Mississippi: I salute the flag of Mississippi and the sovereign state for which it stands with pride in her history and achievements and with confidence in her future under the guidance of Almighty God."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:47 PM

Well, Mom, I've been looking for a good article to post to the new thread "News of Note (was 'I Read it . . .')" that I had to open after Joe closed my long-running "I Read it in the Newspaper" thread because it was being hammered by the same brain-dead spammer nearly every night. The article I sought came in the form of a link in an email from Moonglow, who points out that it is time for me to write another note. My son is still in high school. Texas has added a "god" line to it's pledge to the flag. I didn't know and still don't know that pledge, and I never say any of them, but this gives me one more thing to protest when I don't say those pledges.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:29 PM

Molasses? I think I must have missed something. Molasses in August is like cocoa in January. Hmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:19 PM

ANyway it's too hot for molasses to be this slow!! And I have to go paint the pipe-hangars.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 03:41 PM

Well, parents get to be like that when kids start making up their own minds and the image is not the one the parents had in mind when they thought they were the source of the younker's mindset. Of course, they never were. At best they help filter the experiences feeding it. But they fancy themselves the molders of young minds. And somehow the mold alweays breaks before it is set.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 11:50 AM

Like the time my folks showed up at a renfair I was working

Co-worker to my mother "So you're the ones responsible for him?"

Mother to co-worker (with perfectly straight face) "We try to deny it as often as possible"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 11:48 AM

Yeah, I can see it now...

"Why, yes....of course I know Leo...he's one of my boys!! Oh!! No!!! You don't say???? You're his...his...MOTHER? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahhahhahahahahahahahahahah..."

This meeting would not end well, I suspect.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:49 AM

I think MOM should start taking cruises, Elder Hostels, that sort of thing. Of course then she might bump into my parents - and I'm not sure the world is ready for that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:43 AM

The amazing thing about Mom is even when all the kids dash off on their little projects, like Rapaire, she doesn't mind, she just keeps things ready at home for them to return.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 09:56 AM

MOM, I'm really busy today, but I'm poking my head in before I leave the house to say I left a batch of fresh blueberry muffins on the kitchen counter for you and there is a can of ravioli for lunch. Don't burn the house down while I'm away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 12:48 AM

Jeeze, Mom, the house is like a morgue tonight. Can we throw a party, and invite other threads in?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 05:49 PM

There's your answer to how Rapaire can stay in touch while traveling. From that height, the tiniest flick could reach him. The rest is just details of application.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 01:59 PM

Well, Shane does consume a hell of a lot of beer. If he had panicked and lost control of his bladder while being beamed up, he might have produced a rather lengthy stream.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 01:53 PM

An awesome thought -- that stream of used beer is thousands of miles long. It must be one molecule thick!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 09:26 AM

"Shane" has been taken by a bunch of space aliens who want to use his DNA as a good bad example. A picture of his abduction was recently released by NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center. The large structures in the picture are beer storage drums outside of Blind River, Ontario, Canada; the yellow streak traces "Shane"'s abduction. The color of the streak is no reflection upon "Shane"'s courage, but spectral analysis demostrates clearly that it is simply used beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 01:38 AM

He needs a satellite phone and a laptop and he could keep in touch from the road. Like explorers do from the wilds of the Amazon rain forest and from high atop the Himalayas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 11:47 PM

Too bad the poor, misuderstood lad is not here to defend himself. I'm sure he would come up with some sort of telling, witty response.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 11:40 PM

Yeah, Rapaire, well said indeed, and all honor to your bright and stalwart neices. But if Shane asked you if you knew any "chicks" his age, in that context I think you would disqualify your nieces in the first few nanoseconds. Or nanny seconds, or whatever...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 10:55 PM

Wrong, Amos. You are oh, so wrong! For example, my niece E. is "Shane"'s age. She, however, has good taste. She also is quite competent in the martial arts, including pistol (and yes, she has one). E. would rip "Shane" into tiny little bits if she felt it necessary. And E. also looks something like blonde Modesty Blaise. E. is a microbiologist by training and occupation.

Her sister, L., is similar except that L. is a couple years younger and has a BFA.

The youngest sister, M., combines the best traits of her older sisters and wishes to obtain a DVM. Perhaps, once she graduates with a DVM she can do something to help "Shane."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:56 PM

No, man...it would have driven Shane mad inside of thirty minutes. I tell ya...Rapaire has this way...this way of being there completely content with everything . It would have driven the boy starkers, I just know it. Besides, Rapaire doesn't know any chicks Shane's age.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:05 PM

Damn shame that Shane got abducted by the aliens again, Rapaire. You might have had a chance to meet him face to face.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 08:58 PM

Okay, Amos. That's it. I'm outa here.























Dear Mom,

I'm off to Canada and the Canadian Rockies tomorrow morning, so I can't promise that I'll be posting for a while. Probably, but who knows? I'm going to see my second-in-command become the VP/Pres-Elect of the Pacific Northwest Library Association in Edmonton and meet up with Bruce Murdoch and see all the mountains up there and do all sorts of stuff! And Mom? You know that stuff I did for Katlaughing over the weekend? It should start taking effect before the end of the week! Won't people be surprised!

Later, Mom.

Your fave rave kid,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM

MMario, you should learn not to worry when Rapaire "just realizes" something. It doesn't mean anything in the real world, except perhaps to his pharmaceutical administrator.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 05:27 PM

Okay. Eminem is rap bum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 04:10 PM

MOM! Did you hear what RApaire said?

Make him take it back!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 04:09 PM

I just realized...MMario is really Eminem! What a bum rap!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:41 PM

ANd a happy 18555 to you, Sir Emm!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:22 PM

Don't go getting above yourself!
But if you are beneath yourself you won't be able to fall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:20 PM

A red-letter day! Rapaire has granted me Rightness!! Oh, be still my beating heart!! Calloo, callay!! I am beside myself, which is just as well, as when I get ahead of myself I trip over my own feet. But I am behind me all the way, eh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 09:41 AM

You're right, Amos. I peered into the neighbor's dog dish and All Was Revealed. In the bottom mystic letters formed which read

Feu, flamme, faim, furt, farouche, fumée
Fera faillir, froiƒƒant fort, foy faucher.
Fils de Denté. toute Prouence humée.
Chaƒƒé de regne. enragé ƒang cracher.


which I translated as

Fire, flame, fame, fart, Farouk, fumed
Fair failure, hard rubbings, faith voucher.
Sons of the dentist, all Provence hummed.
Chased the Queen. Angered the fang cracker.


Obviously this refers to failure of the late King Farouk to visit his dentist more often, for if he had he would have made it big as a gospel singer. But instead he made a pass at the Queen and made her dentist mad.

More research showed that the "Sons of the dentist" were a group similar to, but not identical with, the "Sons of the Pioneers." They had a big hit ("Swish, spit, the water") in the south of France in the early 1950s but faded into obscurity after they failed to break into the New York folk scene in 1956. The only member of the group left, Bob Zimmerman, currently delivers pizza and soup in Greenwich Village.

So yes, the dog dish DOES hold The Secret To All Things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 02:31 AM

That is certainly my dog's opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 07 - 01:50 AM

You are imagining it didn't.

It really did.

The dog dish reveals all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:08 PM

It didn't happen. It's all your imagination.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 08:37 PM

The dog dishes accumulated about 2" in less than an hour. Thunderous rain. Now it is bright and sunny as if nothing had happened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 05:42 PM

I can sorta see, with climate like this 'un
Why you feel no need
For a sprinkler system.

A11


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 03:55 PM

Guess what!?

It isn't a tough question. . .

It's raining again. Daily for the last several days. This looks like a doozy getting ready to come over the top of us now.

I was about 1/3 into the lawn mowing last night when it hit and I rand for the garage. I guess it will be like a bad haircut, part of the lawn trimmed, the rest shaggy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 03:08 PM

Acheiving eighteen-five-four-five
Makes me glad to be alive,
Though it's hard (as a deep thinker)
To address questions about sprinklers,
Or to create sundry fair devizes
WHile Rapaire anthropomorphicizes!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 12:21 PM

Would your sprinkler system stop YOU from a leak?

I think not!

Why would you deprive it of the same?

For shame, Amos! For shame!

Mom wouldn't approve you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 10:55 AM

SOrry -- I conflated Alberta and BRitish COlumbia. My mind is weary and my back is sore; the sprinkler circuit is done except for one curmudgeonly threaded connector that has decided to leak. Tonight it shall be chastised, given penance, and made pure in the eyes of Man. Mwahahaha.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 09:19 AM

Actually, when we are in Jasper we might be West of him. Let's see:

Jasper: 52°52′23″N 118°04′56″W
San Diego: 32°42′54″N 117°09′45″W

Yup. But not in Edmonton: 53°34′N 113°31′W or Hinton, which is 176 miles west of Edmonton, but we gonna be close to the ol' 117th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 01:54 AM

That isn't the west coast, that is east of the Rockies. Though because California takes that wild eastern swing it may actually be west of you (like Reno). Hmmm. Head due north, and when you get there it looks like Rap will be a teensy tiny bit east of you.

http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/americas/north_america_ref_2007.pdf


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 12:48 AM

We are the cyberchillun of Our Mom, brother Rapaire.

Enjoy the wilds of the West coast.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 08:17 PM

You're a cyberchiled? I've been busy as a little bee, getting ready to Travel North To Alberta on Wednesday morn, when we set sail and we won't be too far from the land.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 07 - 07:03 PM

Lo, how Mother is spurned by her own spawn!! Oh, how sharper than a serpent's tooth, the sting of an ungrateful cyberchiled...



A


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