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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Oct 06 - 04:16 PM
Rapparee 02 Oct 06 - 03:50 PM
MMario 02 Oct 06 - 03:30 PM
Amos 02 Oct 06 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 02 Oct 06 - 02:52 PM
Amos 02 Oct 06 - 01:32 PM
MMario 02 Oct 06 - 12:31 PM
Bunnahabhain 02 Oct 06 - 12:07 PM
Rapparee 02 Oct 06 - 10:28 AM
Bunnahabhain 02 Oct 06 - 09:38 AM
Acme 02 Oct 06 - 12:04 AM
Rapparee 01 Oct 06 - 10:50 PM
Amos 01 Oct 06 - 10:38 PM
JennyO 01 Oct 06 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 01 Oct 06 - 09:13 PM
Little Hawk 01 Oct 06 - 07:56 PM
Acme 01 Oct 06 - 07:28 PM
Acme 01 Oct 06 - 03:09 PM
Amos 01 Oct 06 - 10:51 AM
JennyO 01 Oct 06 - 04:27 AM
Acme 30 Sep 06 - 10:32 PM
Amos 30 Sep 06 - 10:05 PM
Amos 30 Sep 06 - 07:27 PM
Bunnahabhain 30 Sep 06 - 05:09 PM
Amos 30 Sep 06 - 02:41 PM
Acme 30 Sep 06 - 02:05 PM
Amos 30 Sep 06 - 11:39 AM
Amos 30 Sep 06 - 09:49 AM
Acme 30 Sep 06 - 01:13 AM
JennyO 29 Sep 06 - 10:12 PM
Acme 29 Sep 06 - 08:51 PM
Amos 29 Sep 06 - 08:35 PM
Acme 29 Sep 06 - 07:24 PM
Acme 29 Sep 06 - 07:19 PM
MMario 29 Sep 06 - 04:18 PM
Rapparee 29 Sep 06 - 04:11 PM
Amos 29 Sep 06 - 11:25 AM
JennyO 29 Sep 06 - 11:10 AM
MMario 29 Sep 06 - 11:03 AM
Bunnahabhain 29 Sep 06 - 10:56 AM
Acme 29 Sep 06 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 29 Sep 06 - 09:06 AM
Rapparee 29 Sep 06 - 09:04 AM
Bunnahabhain 29 Sep 06 - 08:12 AM
Amos 28 Sep 06 - 11:18 PM
Amos 28 Sep 06 - 10:41 PM
JennyO 28 Sep 06 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 28 Sep 06 - 06:13 PM
Acme 28 Sep 06 - 05:42 PM
Amos 28 Sep 06 - 12:28 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 04:16 PM

You didn't? Why aren't you providing due credit, then, to those who did?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 03:50 PM

Hey, I didn't write the rules! Like Rule 47.b, which states "No guns less than .455 calibur are allowed unless accompanied." Or Rule 34.1.c, which reads, "You got to use stock sledges. No modephicashuns are aloud. And this mean you, Clem Partridge, ya goddam cheaten rattlesnake!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 03:30 PM

it's not so much their use of forceps - but the use of BLADED forceps in the delivery...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 03:20 PM

I found this in a small-print footnote tot he Ruyles.

"Hagii who have been married in some other State will not be admittied to run in the rayce as Idaho don't honor such heathen conventons between hagii."

You boys up there in thet Legion sure are a narrow-minded lot, but I expect it comes from so many of you being birthed with the cranial forceps method at a late date. We use suction cups nowadays in Civilization, but in yore-all case, mebbe lawn-darts woulda been best.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 02:52 PM

If there's any snow around here next winter the Idaho Legion will sponsor the Very First Annual Idiotorod Race. A race from Franklin, Idaho to Henry, Idaho via Sandpoint, it is open to everyone and commemerates the race to bring several kegs of Old Shakeleg Borebon from Ghent to Aix in 1873. "A team of no more than eight (7) haggii can be used by any one (L) sledge," according to the Offishul Roolbuk (2006 edition). "And all the people in the race have to wear kilts but not the haggii. The sledges got to be painted in the same tartin or played as the prinsiple drivers' kilt."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 01:32 PM

MM, report to the infirmary for a check up. You are showing symptoms of flamencis teddyitis in its early stages; if you have actually contracted this disease you need to act immediately to be cured of it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 12:31 PM

one
four
two
seven
three


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 12:07 PM

I have. Round here it's first effects will probably to make it warmer and wetter, and if we're really lucky, the North Atlantic Thermohaline circulation switches modes, and we end up with the same climate as Alaska....

Haggii are allowed to get married, but no group of them has ever managed to suvive the stag or hen night yet...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 10:28 AM

Aincha ever heared tell of Global Warming??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 09:38 AM

Sunny Scotland? Where, I'm moving there fast!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 12:04 AM

Get yourself a Yahoo email address and use the photo pages (no limits) or get a Flickr (spelled something like that) account, etc. I like Yahoo, myself. I don't post a lot there, but it is very handy for the few things I do go ahead and share. I actually have something under a dozen "albums" but most of them are private so I send the link via a Yahoo invitation to anyone who I want to see them.

link


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 10:50 PM

And I bought a (cheap) fly rod outfit. And a new Stetson, podner. And the NOLS book on outdoor cooking. I wish I had some place to post some pix so y'all could see what the colors were like here in the drab 'n' high desert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 10:38 PM

I don't think haggii are allowed to get married, by law, even in Sctland.

Thanks a million for the brill shirt, Rapaire!!

We went to a Castilian restaurant in the Gaslamp District for dinner tonight with friends, and because we were early the place was empty. So before we left, the manager came by the table and sang a Boccelli aria to us. Stunning job, he did, and our jaws were hitting the table, because it was entirely unexpected.

Then we went to a small espresso bar just up the street where they sell good cigars and let you smoke them on the premises. A real treat here in smoke-free California and I indulged even though I am off the cigarette habit.

Hey, Mom!! Are you high again?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 10:35 PM

Well Mom enjoyed watching the Pink Panther movies. She liked The Pink Panther Strikes again so much that she started watching it all over again on Fox Classics 2, but she fell asleep halfway through.

Lounge room is all tidied up - no cups or virtual bottles to trip over any more. That white shiraz was rather good! I guess when she's slept it all off she'll come over to Mudcat's birthday thread and wish Mudcat and Max a happy 10th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 09:13 PM

And the tee shirt to Bunn is in the mail too. It is currently being delivered to Sunny Scotland on a sledge pulled by a crack team of trained haggii; the lead haggis is the redoubtable "Barfo", there are three pairs of swing haggii, and the wheelies are Brucie and Lance...oops. Well, the tee shirt might take a bit longer to get to the balmy shores of Scotland because the wheel haggii are, well, they kinda like each other. Every chance they get.

The Tetons were spectacular. Reds, yellows, oranges and greens in every hue and shade from Electric Neon to buff. Ain't no way words can describe it.

More later, Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 07:56 PM

Booga loo, booga loo, booga looga loo. Nicky, nicky, nines dorf, booga looga loo. Tie a burger on the road, listen to it moo. Nicky, nicky nines dorf, booga looga loo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 07:28 PM

Talkin' to myself again this afternoon. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 03:09 PM

That marquee trick doesn't display correctly in Firefox. Interesting. MOM, be sure to step on over to the Mudcat 10th Birthday thread and wish Max and all a happy birthday and many more!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 10:51 AM

Somepeople know how to make a profit out of BS. For example:

Claremont Graduate University
Tufts Poetry Awards
The $100,000 Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award is given annually to honor a book of poetry by a mid-career U.S. poet. The winner will spend one week in residence at Claremont Graduate University in California. The $10,000 Kate Tufts Discovery Award is given annually to honor a first book of poetry by "a poet of genuine promise." Robert Pinsky, Alice Quinn, and Robert Wrigley will be among the final judges. Poets, publishers, agents, or friends may submit five copies of a book of poetry published between September 15, 2005, and September 15, 2006, with a list of previously published work by September 15. There is no entry fee. Send an SASE, call, or visit the Web site for the required application and complete guidelines.
(See Recent Winners.)
Claremont Graduate University, Tufts Poetry Awards, 160 East 10th Street, Harper East B7, Claremont, CA 91711-6165. (909) 621-8974.
www.cgu.edu/tufts


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 04:27 AM

Just a couple of hours to the Pink Panther movies. I've got the sofa bed ready for you Mom, any time you want to come over!

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Hotel Clerk: No.
Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie.
[dog bites Clouseau's hand]
Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.


The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 10:32 PM

Real cute trick, Amos, well worth stealing. . .




Amos!!!.........Amos!!!........Here, Amos!!!!Here, Amos!! Here, Amos !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 10:05 PM

I tell ya, there ain't nothing more confuzzling than trying to obedience-train an entangled duck-dog...



GLUON!!!.........GLUON!!!........Here, Gluon!!!!Here, Gluon!! Here, Gluon !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 07:27 PM

It was rather fractured, wasn't it? I meant to write 'Latin' for 'latent', and there were several other typos. And visibility of 100 feet was a reference to the underwater vistas of Tahiti, not those seen while sailing on top of the water on a broad reach.

I do apologize for cluttering up a thread of fine BS with incomprehensible and badly worded sentiments.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 05:09 PM

Amos, even by the high and lofty standards of MOAB, that last post neither made sense to me, nor seemed relevent to anything recent around here. This of course is nothing unusual, but it was done with such style, I could not resist the urge to mention this...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 02:41 PM

Although it is Saturday I am at the office decoding theintricacies of a very complex patent which includes half-cycle skipping as a method of phase-flipping and removable/attachable range-finders with detectable emanations of a kind not to be carelessly discussed, and EMF detectors with built-in Zigbee protocols and lots of othert neat things. This is a Bear among applications.

This sort of application in Patentlandia is called an Omnibus. I remember that used to be a TV theater show, and the name used by Brits for their city transport vehicles. It means, from the latent, "for or to everyone", being, IIRC, the ablative form of omnes. I am sure Deda will correct me if I err.

I think I would rather be running on a long reach down to Tahiti, where the vicibility is 100 feet on a bad day and terrorists grow right off of the trees.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 02:05 PM

Sounds like the same shirt I have--I didn't recognize it when you said "MAP." I wondered briefly about that, last night when I went to bed, but I have to confess that I quickly forgot it when I remembered the family getting their VW started in the movie. I lay in bed laughing in the dark for a few minutes before going to sleep. . .

I'll toss the shirt in the laundry and toss some bucks in the mail. Thanks again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 11:39 AM

Not MAP! For cry-i-i-i-i!!! It says MOAB! MOAB!@!! MOAB!!! And then it has these little Zuni silhouette characters lounging around on it. It has character. It has class. It is a Good Thing.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 09:49 AM

I loved Being There. A classic.

In other news, I withdraw my remark about my beautiuful flamingo pink tee--it says MAP on it in ordinary lletters very colorfully. I left Rapaire's card on the desk overnight and it sttled down and stopped sp[inning.

Thanks a ton, Dude. A truly fine deed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 06 - 01:13 AM

What a nice offer! My kids, when they were little, loved to get to sleep on the sofa-bed in the living room in front of the tv. It became an occasion, like a camp out in the living room. They shared very nicely and they always got to watch a favorite movie. Pink Panther for earlier when they're awake, but after they go to sleep, I'd vote for a different Peter Sellers, like Being There or The World of Henry Orient.

We went to see Little Miss Sunshine. It was a hoot! Lots of little scenarios to reflect back on now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:12 PM

If you like, Mom, you can come and watch the Pink Panther movies with me tomorrow night. Do you like the Pink Panther? We can have hot chocolate and I could even pull out the sofa bed for you if you'd like to get really comfortable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 08:51 PM

I'm taking Moonglow out to a funny movie tonight. It's either that or go nuts. The whole world is off-kilter this week, and even with bright spots like a new t-shirt, it's just plain nasty out there and I want an escape. I'll get it with the good company of my smart and funny daughter.

Those girls in Colorado (Moonglow got a terse lecture this afternoon on "don't think like a victim--rip his balls off if you have a chance") and the principal in Wisconsin, to say nothing of the continuing debacle in Bush-land. I can't even find amusement in the Republican disarray as their candidates self-destruct.

Take care, MOM. Have a nice cuppa tea and watch an old movie or two. I left Now, Voyager and Random Harvest on top of the television for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 08:35 PM

Rpaire:

I got an extra Tee Shirt as well, a loverly thing, but it says nothing except in Zuni sand-figure characters. I will write you to thank you as soon as I finish turning over your Moebius Strip business card. I think Gluon peed on it or something as it seems to be in an endless loop.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 07:24 PM

The strangest thing--my browser won't go to my usual home page, it won't go to my work, it won't go to bookmarks--it only goes to Mudcat. Like the whole thing is broken for once EXCEPT Mudcat. . .

Al Gore is in town this weekend. Maybe the Republicans in the area are trying to make him feel welcome by breaking the Internet (that he doesn't claim to have invented, but that doesn't stop them from claiming that he claims he invented it.)

I feel some Twilight Zone music coming on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 07:19 PM

I have an extra t-shirt! I do, I do! And guess what it says, why you'll never guess. . .






























MOAB!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 04:18 PM

Mom called me to ask if you had extra socks with you. Why she called me, I don't know.

Do you have extra socks with you? You know how she worries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 04:11 PM

So long, Mom,
I'm off to the Grand Tetons,
So don't wait up for me....

Be back Sunday, Mom. Then on Tuesday I'm off to SLC for the rest of the week, only I'll be in touch there Mom, I promise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 11:25 AM

Osama Bin Laden, professional murderer, religious zealot, rabble-rouser, promulgator of violence, destroyer of lives and property...take up Morris dancing? What would he do with his needle-work while this was going on? Where would he put his nittens and his rubber duck?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 11:10 AM

I've got ads for cross-dressing. I kid you not!

Still thinking of Bin Laden and the Morris Dancers -

This is it and that is it
And this is a morris dance, sir
Bin Laden fell and broke his leg
And so I took a chance, sir


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 11:03 AM

don't know - I've got ads for Klezmer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:56 AM

The beer aspect of morris dancing might present a slight problem, but other than that, hes's got it all

beard                   check
funny clothes          check
No women to join in    check



Any idea why google has come up with ads for stretching exercises?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 10:17 AM

Especially if Gluon pees on him while he does it. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 09:06 AM

Hey, ya know, "Bin Laden and the Morris Dancers" sounds like some musical group! I must admit that the mental image of Osama Bin Laden prancing around in a porkpie hat, hankies tied to his wrists, does have a strange appeal!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 09:04 AM

Worst of all was the time that damned duckdog got the leash wrapped as a Mobius strip (Jennie-O, that's a mathematical thing, not something you do in a sleazy bar) around a Time Anomaly.

Ever watch a duckdog pee, over and over and over and over, for 4,593,197,379 standard years? It gets boring after the first couple times, lemme tell ya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 29 Sep 06 - 08:12 AM

There's a nice, folky sounding song about time travel, or possibly just time dialation on 'A Night at the Opera', the Queen one, not the Marx brothers one.

Silly story line, and they all end up dead or unhappy. Must be folk...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 11:18 PM

(one, two, three, FOAH!) (Motown driving rhythm with a back beat, 8 bars...)

Lady Lack on the old time track,
Jumping forward and falling back,
Multiple lifetimes, it could get worse,
Living n a parallel U-niverse,

Walk the duckdog, baby!
Walk the duckdog, baby!
It don't much matter when
It'll happen all over again,
Just walk the duckdog, baby!!


...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 10:41 PM

Across the miles and over the years
I hear you call,
"When will you come home?"
"When will you come home?"
Over,
And over.....

Jessup, 1995


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 10:40 PM

Hi Mom, what are you doing down there amongst Bin Laden and the Morris Dancers? While your kids are out walking I'll give you a nice cup of tea and a bit of a lift. I've been a good girl and put all the virtual chardonnay bottles in the recycling bin. Sorry about last year - I really did mean to pick them up, but something distracted me.

That Gluon - he really needs to go to a training school - if you could catch him first. Do they have training schools for duckdogs? That's why I'd never go for a walk with a duckdog - you never know where (or when) you're gonna finish up....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 06:13 PM

Last time I walked that duckdog it chased a squirrel and ended up getting the leash tangled in 347 BCE, 1350 CE, 1916 CE, and 3479 CE. You ever try to untangle the same leash in the middle of an attempted palace coup in China, the Black Death, the Battle of Cambrai, and the attempt by the Ricians to defeat the Combined Fleet at the Holocaust of Rigel IVa? Lemme tell ya, it ain't easy turnin' green -- and blue, and black, and just the buboes will kill ya!

Damn duckdog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 05:42 PM

Such a nice day outside Mom, I think I'm going to go outside and play. The dogs can go with me. Gluon can come too but I'd really rather travel in just one dimension this time. Our leashes got tangled back in 1967 and again in 1972 the last time she tried taking a walk with us. A simple 2006 traverse of the woods is all I ask.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 06 - 12:28 PM

I haven't heard that song, unless it is the one that got demodulated into Muzak tapes at the local Starbucks. But, I think I can understand the sentiment, now that I know who wrote it.


A


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