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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 16 Apr 15 - 11:22 PM
gnu 16 Apr 15 - 06:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Apr 15 - 05:45 PM
Amos 16 Apr 15 - 02:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Apr 15 - 01:10 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 15 - 11:16 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 16 Apr 15 - 01:56 AM
Acme 15 Apr 15 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 15 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 15 - 09:27 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 15 Apr 15 - 09:04 PM
Little Hawk 15 Apr 15 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 15 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 15 Apr 15 - 06:20 PM
Amos 15 Apr 15 - 06:07 PM
gnu 15 Apr 15 - 05:15 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 15 Apr 15 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 15 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 15 - 09:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 15 - 08:54 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 15 - 06:50 PM
Amos 14 Apr 15 - 06:44 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 15 - 06:06 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 15 - 11:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 15 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 15 - 09:36 AM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 14 Apr 15 - 12:40 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 15 - 11:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 15 - 08:28 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 13 Apr 15 - 07:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 15 - 06:23 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 15 - 06:02 PM
gnu 13 Apr 15 - 06:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 15 - 05:40 PM
GUEST,The Allknowing 13 Apr 15 - 04:50 PM
Amos 13 Apr 15 - 04:46 PM
gnu 13 Apr 15 - 02:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 15 - 01:37 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 13 Apr 15 - 12:43 PM
gnu 13 Apr 15 - 12:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 15 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 15 - 11:00 AM
GUEST,Freddy Krueger 13 Apr 15 - 10:32 AM
GUEST,Freddy Krueger 13 Apr 15 - 07:28 AM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 13 Apr 15 - 02:01 AM
Acme 12 Apr 15 - 11:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Apr 15 - 09:49 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 15 - 09:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Apr 15 - 09:03 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 12 Apr 15 - 08:44 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 11:22 PM

Between Shame and such as us a Great Gulf is fixed, and where he is it's very, very, very hot and very, very, very cold at the same time. To understand that I suggest Dante's Inferno, where you will find all of the McBrides queued up for their turn in the middle head in Canto XXXIV.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 06:02 PM

I beg to differ. It demonstrates the "difference"... oh... I'll stop there. Thanks, A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 05:45 PM

Excellent versification, Amos. But it seems a pity to waste the effort on such a vacuous poltroon as Shane McBride.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 02:10 PM

You can speak of your Dooleys and Tooleys and Flynns,
Great louts with long records of terrible sins,
But for real human scumballs who ought to have died
You'll never find worse genes than from a McBride.

Their DNA's rotten and broken and weak
They can't breed a hero, professor or geek
ANd their flesh smells like trout that has quite putrified
Those dumkopf do-nuffinks, the shameless McBrides.

They are shiftless, immoral, with no sense of class
They talk about nothing but beer, tits and ass
For a clan whose raw life force is quite petrified
Just pick up the phone and call a McBride!

You can find them in slums, and in bars playing pool
But you won't find one of them in any real school
They are fools, and they drool, and they're fouled up inside,
Those jadrool mammaluccas they call the McBrides.

So if you are seeking a lifestyle of pride
With honors bestowed, and a smart, pretty bride
Don't hang out with scumbags, who never have tried,
And flee from the bums who say "I'm a McBride".

Tennise Ennywhon
Warnings for Slow Children
Brookneau Fools, Gladly, pub.
Whacking-on-Selves, 1976


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 01:10 PM

SRS, you say "trailer trash" as if it's a bad thing.

I'm sure that if Ms Rutledge were to find herself living in a mobile home outside of Jonesboro, Arkansas, the vehicles sitting on concrete blocks in the front yard would be BMWs and Jaguars, not old Dodge pickups and Ford Pintos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 11:16 AM

One on one, Shame? C'mon. One on one. Just you and me. I'll only grab, yank, and twist if I can find something to do that to -- you don't have any use for that part of your body anyway. And I promise not to gouge out your eyes or do anything to ruin those looks that get you by in prison.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 01:56 AM

You are a sick flippin' dude, Rap! If you were living anywheres near this town, I would call the cops and have you arrested! Snake pulled a flippin' knife on me and Don in prison one time after we get convicketed on the school bus and liquer store robbery job, and that was goin' WAY too far. He tried to kill Don!!! I went flippin' nuts and grabbed him from behind and choked him till he dropt the knife, and then Don kicked him in the mungoberries, eh? It was a bad flippin' moment or two there. Anyone pulls a knife on a McBride and the gloves are off! Know what I'm sayin'? We did not come all the ways from Dangle, Ireland to be done in like strey dogs by crazy flipheads with knives, and we McBrides ALWAYS hang together!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 10:54 PM

Stay away for a couple of days and a regular brouhaha breaks out. BWL suggesting that some visitors fall in the ranks of trailer trash - and of course, Rap offering to shoot or skewer them. At least Amos kept his head and wrote poetry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 09:30 PM

Shame, you ought to feel a blade sliding into someone -- the sensuous feel as it slides in, the grating on bone, the twisting, the rush of hot blood. Come visit and I'll show you what it feels like to be the recipient.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 09:27 PM

True. My finger got carried away. Any knife is deadly in the right hands, even my little 1.5 inch (that's the big blade) Buck pocket knife. For knife fighting, I've been trying to decide for some time among the Ka-Bar, the Fairbairn-Sykes, and the rondel. All have something to be said for them, especially as you don't want the grip to slip in your hand if it gets bloody or wet (which leaves out my old Buck General, as the black grip would slide too easily).

As a point of interest, I've used the Buck knife in many other ways, including as a froe for splitting firewood, but it's not really a fighting knife as it stands. I have a sentimental attachment to it, as I bought it when I didn't know if I would be in Vietnam in a month or what and I couldn't afford a .357.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 09:04 PM

What the flip??? Swive? What...? Yeah, well...you....you can FLIP RIGHT OFF, eh?!!!!!! You hearn me, Rap? Go FLIP yerself sideways from Sunday you flippin' LESS-on! (It is even dummer than a moreon!)

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 08:53 PM

The proper spelling is "kris" with one "s". It's a traditional sword or dagger from the area of Indonesia and Southeast Asia, often seen with a "wavy" blade (as opposed to a straight-edged blade). That is, the edges of the blade are in sinuous curves rather like a sine wave. This makes the kris look particularly vicious. I remember seeing them in the wonderful adventure comic, Jungle Jim, back in the 1950s and early 60s. Jungle Jim Bradley and his faithful Malay sidekick, Kolu, often found themselves up against marauding gangs of Malay pirates armed with kris, musket, and a variety of more modern weapons on some occasions. It was the glorious British Commonwealth (Pip, pip and Hurrah, boys!) against the ungodly Communists and the river pirates. Think Indiana Jones wearing a pith helmet...and Kolu in place of Tonto. Marvelously exotic stuff! :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:53 PM

Not everyone has ever heard of a kriss, either.
-------------------
Young Master McBride (I address your intellectual age):

Swive thee, thou besotted plaything of swine, thou fordunken beardless eunuch! Swive thee!
----------------------


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:20 PM

Your poetic panache is unmatched, Amos. Truly heroic! I think you should be awarded a Pulitzer Prize. Even Penelope Rutledge could not help but be impressed by your literary skills, your keen wit, and your mastery of verbal subtleties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:07 PM

A mighty wit, contrarian
An erstwhile ex-librarian
Who now, instead, finds all his fun
In firing various sorts of guns
And scaring ancients' hoary shades
By wavng his assorted blades.

His wit, that once made giants laugh
Has come unraveled, now, by half
And sad it be to tell you it
No more than half will e'er be knit.
His brain, once leonine and fair
Does now resemble, more, a hare.

Thus falls the mighty intellect
That once made every fact connect
And, from a fabled mental ruction
Resorts today to mere destruction
By gun and sword, rifle and kriss!
Is not it sad, this tale of his?

So let us kind and Christian be,
When dealing with yon Rapparree


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 05:15 PM

Let's not have a sniffle.
Let's have a bloody great cry.
And always remember
The longer ya live
The sooner ya bloody well die.

Look it up. Great song. First at my wake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 12:42 PM

You finally went over the flippin' edge, eh, Rap? Time to get some perfeshional help. I feel sorry for yer poor fambly to have to see you like this, but that's what happens to all liberrians eventchewally...too many books and not enuff beer, bong, or broads! It'll drive you nuts in the end.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 11:00 AM

Speaketh up Sir Amos bolde


Stronge his arm and axillae withalle


Sir Amos who with grontes golde


Did sore ycled and yield trallalle!


Sayethe he This doth become


Naughte butte a way to theel and thum


All dawn til duske doth beate a drumme


And I hath feeleth mickle dum!


Nonne answerd him nonne to he spok


Yet perchance a yonge afrited byrd


Didst gyre and snatche a frogge to croke


And swiven swan untille it broke!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 09:08 PM

Nah, Friday's it's gonna be 71F. Tomorrow is slated to be in the 50s.

I think that during her days at University "Bad Penny" had quite a reputation for herself, quite a reputation. At least, I heard about her when I was at Cambridge1. If the stories are true she has superwoman powers in several areas, about which the least said the better. I do not sully a lady's reputation, assuming that she IS a lady and I, of course, give the benefit of the doubt.



1 This is true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 08:54 PM

Perhaps you're onto something there, Little Hawk. It's not snowing here, but it's been raining since last Thursday and isn't supposed to stop until next Monday. That's eleven days of rain. Perhaps my own meager attempts at annoying Ms Rutledge are responsible for this lengthy patch of inclement weather? Discord in nature reflecting discord in the human heart and all that Shakespearian rot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 06:50 PM

I think the fact that you have annoyed Penelope Rutledge probably accounts for the acute drop in temperature in your locality, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 06:44 PM

Gee, Mister R.--I thought you thought Idaho was paradise on Earth? Sorry for your troubles. It is 72 here, and balmy with light sea breezes and blue skies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 06:06 PM

59F when I awakened, 30.7F now.

And it's s*****g. S*****G!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 11:34 AM

Heh! Heh! That was interesting, Rapparee. One can't help but wonder if some interbreeding may have occurred between the Irish Rutledges and the McBrides of Dangle? It sounds like they had a number of things in common.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 11:09 AM

It is a little-known fact that the surname of cartoon dog Scooby-Doo is Rutledge. But he pronounces it "Rut-ridge".

Personally, I consider the fact that Penelope may be related to Scooby-Doo as a big point in her favour. Perhaps the only such point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 09:36 AM

My "lot" as you refer to us, have been lording it over your lot for centuries, if not millennia, and it's no accident, I assure you. You might think of it as a conspiracy, but I think of it as the natural order of things.

Hmmm.... Edward Rutledge (a slave holder) signed the Declaration of Independence and John Rutledge was one of the first Justices of the Supreme Court -- not exactly the sort to uphold your sort.

But enough of that. Penny, a bit of study finds that the "Rutledges" or "Routledges" were from...well, here:

...In the 16th century, we find the Routledges were one of a score of families that many English sources identify as Border Reivers who raided across the English/Scottish border, stealing sheep, cattle and horses, burning barns, etc.

In 1528 an expedition of 500 armed men drove the Routledge families from England into an area north of the Scottish border near Langholm called "Tarras Burn", a desolate region controlled by the Armstrong Clan. Some of these Routledges melded into the Scottish Clans around them, taking the Scottish clan names. Others immigrated to Ireland where the spelling of the name became Ruttledge or Rutledge. A third group drifted back into the Bewcastle area over a period of several decades and took up their old lawless ways. This third group eventually settled on the Routledge spelling of the family name.


Sheep stealing barn burners? Driven into the wilds of Scotland and then into Ireland? Well, the name apparently is geographical and means "red letch." Of course, no one is certain of that (unlike my own name, which translates from Old Dutch as "Keeper of the Sacred Places").   And many of the them eventually became Quakers, although it is most probable that some were expelled from the community because of their war-like actions.

Oh, yes -- "letch" mean "swamp," so it is quite possible your friend Mr. Ballsworthy is right about the reptilian thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 12:40 AM

Oh, my, this is getting funny! Bee-dub-whatever-it-may-be, you have NO idea what you are talking about. None whatsoever. But your vapid, uninformed ramblings are amusing to read. I do not have a younger sister. I do not have a sister, period. I think the person you may be alluding to is my niece, Veronica Rutledge. As for Winston, he is anything but a failure, except in terms of character. He has succeeded quite well in most people's terms, grows richer all the time, and is not what I would describe as "a drunk". This would imply that he is out of control of his life, which is hardly the case. He drinks, yes, but he is not a drunk. Drunks stagger about, slur their words, and wander into the kitchen at 3 AM dressed in nothing but a dilapidated bathrobe. This sorry picture in no way resembles Winston, I can assure you. He is always well dressed and well groomed, always articulate, dangerously handsome in a cold sort of way, and almost always insufferable, but definitely in command of all his faculties. He buys tasteless items like the elephant stool and the almost naked Mata Hari portrait just to annoy me. The only thing that could possibly persuade me to move to Arkansas, let alone to some godforsaken North American trailer park, would be if the rest of the world become completely uninhabitable due to killing levels of radiation...and then I'd still hesitate. There ARE worse things than death.

*PR

p.s. Rapparee, are you trying to impress me again? Try harder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 11:03 PM

Ah, Penny? 1789, 1775, 1947, 1879, 1884, 1885, 1757, 1914, 1815...shall I go on?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 08:28 PM

Don't delude yourself too much, Mizz Rutledge. From the sound of things, your Twillingsgate is becoming more like a rural Arkansas trailer park with each passing day. You already have the ho-bag younger sister, the drunk failure of a husband, and a house full of flea market gee-gaws. You'd fit right in down at the Twin Pines Mobile Home Park.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 07:03 PM

Yes, well, I suppose you can add it at the end of the *very* long list of other things you've been wrong about in your life, Mr "ell". Pomposity, by the way, is not necessarily such a bad thing, providing it is sufficiently justified by both station and inheritance. My "lot" as you refer to us, have been lording it over your lot for centuries, if not millennia, and it's no accident, I assure you. You might think of it as a conspiracy, but I think of it as the natural order of things.

*PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 06:23 PM

By the way, Penelope, I found your response to my post about my encounter with Mr. Krueger quite touching. In fact, it has caused me to me to reconsider my estimation of you and the rest of the Twillingsgate lot as little more than a bunch of pompous, inbred, aristocratic douchebags. I may have been incorrect about the "inbred" part.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 06:02 PM

Back in the Olde Armye you waited in line and when your turn came you walked briskly up to the Company Commander (or designated officer paying), halted, saluted, and said, "Sir! Private (or whatever) [insert your surname here] reports for pay!" S/he would salute back, count out your pay (in cash!), you'd sign the pay voucher, salute again, do a left face, and face all of those who wanted their deduction from your pay (donations, etc.), and march out with a couple of bucks to last you the rest of the month if you were lucky.

There were Big Guys with Big Guns standing around waiting for you to do something foolish.

Now it's all direct deposit and some of the romance is gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 06:01 PM

Ya thig? (I hab a code.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 05:40 PM

Without thigs, there would be no Thig Newtons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Allknowing
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 04:50 PM

A thigpen is a pen used by a thig to write down important things. As most thigs are illiterate, however. thigpens are not that common. Because of this they have become valuable collector items. A thigpen in mint condition can go for as high as $1,200 on Ebay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 04:46 PM

The only Thigpen worth mention is Thigpen, C. H. , a psychiatrist who wrote The Three Faces of Eve, McGraw-Hill Book Company, Inc., New York, 1957. [Translated into 27 languages]

See also: Thigpen, C. H. and Cleckley, H. M., "A Case of Multiple Personality," The Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 495: 135–151, January, 1954. [Also presented at American Psychiatric Association(APA) Convention, May, 1953].

No lieutenant-colonel ever was issued a thigpen. I am morally certain of this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 02:41 PM

I believe few have thigpens these days. You'd probably have to check Facebook for Throwback Thursday pics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 01:37 PM

Yes, I suppose a lieutenant colonel would be the battalion paymaster, but he'd need a pretty big bag of coins. Assuming that a battalion has around 500 men who are paid an average of around $2,000 once a month, that's a million dollars! If I were a lieutenant colonel, I sure wouldn't want to carry a million bucks worth of coins in a damned thigpen. I'd want a checkbook. Or a stack of prepaid debit cards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 12:43 PM

Mass murdering psychopaths are among the least of my worries right now, Mr KrUEger...with the "U" first...so kindly toddle off, would you? I already have to deal with an arrogant brute of a husband who thinks he is Britain's authority on everything, an insane journalist (Hector Ballsworthy) who hounds my family members from pillar to post whilst composing ludicrous theories about reptilian bloodlines in the upper classes, and a niece who is attempting to make Miley Cyrus look like a modest and virtuous young woman by comparison! You may think that you have problems, sir, but you have no idea.

*PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 12:24 PM

Would he not also be the paymaster of a battalion?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 12:18 PM

According to Wikipedia, "Thigpen may also sometimes refer to a lieutenant colonel's bag of coins." This leads one inevitably to a plethora of obvious questions:

1) Why does a lieutenant colonel get a special name for his bag of coins?

2) Is a bag of coins vital to the performance of a lieutenant colonel's duties? If so, exactly what are the coins used for? Tipping hookers after the regiment's had their way with them?

3) What's a full colonel's bag of coins called?

4) What happened to the thigs who lived in the thigpen before it became the lieutenant colonel's bag of coins?

5) What's a corpsman's bag of condoms called?

6) What about a K-9 trainer's bag of dog biscuits?

7) Was the person who posted that on Wikipedia full of shit and a lieutenant colonel's bag of coins is not called a thigpen at all, but just a frigging bag of coins?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 11:00 AM

Hmm...Freddy takes "thigs" personally. The day before yesterday I was shooting at thigs and they didn't take it personally. There were many thigs to shoot at, too, and I didn't miss any. Maybe Freddy likes thigs -- they are cute little thiNgs, all fuzzy and soft and plump and would be nice pets if it wasn't for their venom-dripping fangs and the fact that thigs are born rabid and their meat is extremely toxic. But to each his or her own, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Freddy Krueger
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 10:32 AM

On second thought, the Transportation Safety Administration doesn't maintain a Do No Stow Away List, do they? Bwaaaaahhhh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Freddy Krueger
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 07:28 AM

Penelope Rutledge, you have twice made the mistake of misspelling my name as "Kreuger" instead of "Krueger". This would be of little importance to most people, but I'm not most people. I'm a mass murdering psychopath and I take thigs like that personally. The least little thing can set me to slashing. Lucky for you my name is on the TSA's Do Not Fly List so you're beyond my reach in your fancy English manor house. But if you ever visit Ohio, be afraid. Be very afraid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 02:01 AM

You are quite correct, Rapparee, I did use the wrong term when I said "dueling foils". I was thinking of the set of crossed rapiers that are mounted on the library wall. Then there are also the cavalry sabers in the study. Either would do well to dispatch Mr Kreuger or anyone else rash enough to invade this house...assuming they got by Baskerville, our Doberman Pinscher.

That makes twice that I have been wrong about something in the last 10 years or so. The other time was when I had the exquisitely bad judgment to marry Winston...he's in London right now, thankfully, no doubt boring someone absolutely to death over a glass of port. I plan to make some changes in his absence. That stupid elephant's foot stool he brought back from India has simply got to go, and along with it that wretched framed photograph of Mata Hari that occupies much of the west wall in Winston's smoking room.

*PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Apr 15 - 11:42 PM

You can't unring that bell. What is done is done. Were you the one that whupped Huck's pop?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Apr 15 - 09:49 PM

And I won't even mention the time Pap Finn, Huckleberry's old man, threatened to spit tobacco juice on my new white sneakers. No, wait! I've gone and mentioned it after I said I wouldn't. How do you unmention something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 15 - 09:12 PM

Hey, Penny, there is no such thing as a "dueling foil." The foil is a weapon used in fencing, a sport, which can be fashioned to record a hit (or touch) electronically. It has a blunt tip. A dueling weapon can be a rapier, a small sword, a colichemarde, a saber, a messer, or any of the various weapons which have been used to skewer or cut an opponent -- and that is not sport. The epee, used in sport, evolved from the rapier and its antecedents and successors, and like the foil it has a blunt tip and can be rigged for electronic scoring. Of course, the saber (again, used in sport) evolved from the weapon carried by the cavalry and probably reached its zenith with the weapon designed by George Patton (US Model of 1913) -- just in time for it to be abandoned as a cavalry weapon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Apr 15 - 09:03 PM

And then there was the time, around 1972, that Billy Pilgrim, the unstuck-in-time protagonist of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five attempted to highjack my car and force me to drive to Tralfamadore so he could bang Montana Wildhack. I explained to him that a Volkswagen Beetle is not a spaceship, and that we could never get to Tralfamadore in it. I would have suggested we try to hitchhike, but The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy had not yet been written. So, I explained to Billy that, in Tralfamadorian terms, he had always banged Montana Wildhack, would always bang Montana Wildhack, and was, in fact, banging Montana Wildhack at that very moment, though not in the front seat of my VW. He seemed okay with that, so we went out for a beer instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 12 Apr 15 - 08:44 PM

Only a completely demonic fiend utterly without judgment, wisdom or moral scruples would threaten violence on an innocent person in order to get him or her to re-marry their ex-spouse! What on Earth could Mr Kreuger's motivation for doing so have been, other than to make your day as miserable as possible? I think your response to him was quite appropriate, Bee-dubya-ell, and I'd have done the same, I'd have called his bluff...or I'd have run him through with one of the dueling foils, assuming it was well within reach. The direct approach is often the best.

* PR


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