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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 21 Apr 04 - 07:00 PM
GUEST,The coolest one 21 Apr 04 - 05:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Apr 04 - 05:05 PM
Little Hawk 21 Apr 04 - 03:32 PM
GUEST,MMario 21 Apr 04 - 03:26 PM
Amos 21 Apr 04 - 03:23 PM
Amos 21 Apr 04 - 03:17 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 04 - 03:03 PM
Little Hawk 21 Apr 04 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 21 Apr 04 - 09:30 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Apr 04 - 11:55 PM
catspaw49 20 Apr 04 - 09:57 PM
Amos 20 Apr 04 - 08:40 PM
Amos 20 Apr 04 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 04 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 04 - 01:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Apr 04 - 01:01 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 Apr 04 - 11:46 AM
Amos 20 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM
GUEST 20 Apr 04 - 11:26 AM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 04 - 11:25 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Apr 04 - 11:18 AM
Amos 20 Apr 04 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 20 Apr 04 - 09:31 AM
Amos 20 Apr 04 - 09:21 AM
GUEST,Shlio 20 Apr 04 - 03:52 AM
Little Hawk 20 Apr 04 - 01:30 AM
Amos 20 Apr 04 - 01:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Apr 04 - 12:05 AM
Acme 19 Apr 04 - 11:45 PM
Amos 19 Apr 04 - 11:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 04 - 11:22 PM
MMario 19 Apr 04 - 10:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 04 - 05:43 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 04 - 05:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 04 - 05:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 04 - 05:41 PM
Amos 19 Apr 04 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 04 - 04:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 04 - 12:17 PM
Rustic Rebel 19 Apr 04 - 12:00 PM
GUEST 19 Apr 04 - 11:53 AM
GUEST, Bubba Bubba 19 Apr 04 - 09:54 AM
CarolC 18 Apr 04 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 04 - 10:18 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 04 - 09:00 PM
CarolC 18 Apr 04 - 07:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 04 - 07:40 PM
CarolC 18 Apr 04 - 07:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 04 - 07:28 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 07:00 PM

Groovy, Daddio.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The coolest one
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 05:20 PM

Man, ain't you ever heard that "the beat goes on?" Since it goes on, why should the beaten ever end? This mental jackoff stuff is, like, one continuous and eternal climax.

It's like an eternal journey, man, with an eternal end. It's the only place where you can get off while gettin' off like, forever. You're gettin' off while you get off, et nunc et semper.

Dig it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 05:05 PM

"To get one's cookies" = street slang for ejaculation.

I'm in a bit of a quandry though as to exactly what form the ejaculate of mental masturbation would take. Has anyone ever actually achieved mental masturbatory climax? Would he/she know it if he/she did?

Maybe there is no climax. Maybe we have to just keep beating off and beating off and never get to the point of getting off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 03:32 PM

And Chongo is now on the trail of a vampire! Looks to be a good month ahead of us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 03:26 PM

hey! I din't know anything about cookies?!?!

white chocolate macadamia?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 03:23 PM

A sentiment worthy of repitition:

       Mister Bush is a knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a
       base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited,
       hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a
       lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson,
       glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue;
       one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a
       bawd, in way of good service, and is nothing but
       the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar,
       and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch.

Sincerely,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 03:17 PM

A once-fierce warrior, reduced (by long-term exposure to over-pressure of high-purity BS) to mouthing mealy marketing platitudes!! It is too, too, sad...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 03:03 PM

MOAB.


 


Supplying Quality BS to the
Mudcat CafÉ and the world for
close to a year now.





When you think of quality BS,
You think of MOAB.





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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 09:33 AM

Speed Boards? Nawww... Too many graphics! It looks like a place where teenagers hang out. I like the basic thread idea though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 04 - 09:30 AM

Of course it's about quality! MOAB means quality. If quantity was all there was, posting "George Bush is the best president who ever existed" would attract posters like flies to a shitpile. MOAB, on the other hand, only attracts the creme de la creme, the knowledgable, the cogniscenti, the very elite, of flies to its shitpile, so to speak.

When you think QUALITY shit, think Mother!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:55 PM

Quality, Spaw, not quantity. The content of this thread is 100% board certified mental masturbation. And we ain't gonna stop until we all get our cookies.

Hey, I bet George W. has higher approval ratings at that Speed website than he does here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 09:57 PM

Here.....Let me give all of you lame motherfuckers something to aspire to.........At one of my other favorite haunts on the web, The SPEED Boards, THIS TURKEY has over 13,000 posts on it. Granted they ain't none too brilliant or esoteric, but as a waster of bandwidth, very hard to beat!!! Note also that this thread has only been running for a little over 5 months. There are some real idiots over there, believe me!!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 08:40 PM

Correction: TWENTY-SEVEN TWENTY


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 08:39 PM

TWENTY ONE TWENTY!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 06:43 PM

Big News from The Borowitz Report!!

NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK SET IN BUSH WHITE HOUSE

'Wizards of Mass Destruction' Latest Tell-all Memoir

"Harry Potter" author J.K. Rowling has climbed aboard the publishing industry's hottest trend, announcing today that her next entry in the Potter series will be set backstage at the Bush White House in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq.

The book, Harry Potter and the Wizards of Mass Destruction, is expected to be the most successful Bush-cabinet tell-all memoir yet, publishing insiders say.

"It's a little like the Richard Clarke book and a little like the Paul O'Neill book, but with that J.K. Rowling magic thrown in," says Annabelle Kaminski of the industry bible Publishers Weekly. "This is going to be the first book about the Bush White House to move a lot of units with teens and tweens."

According to Ms. Kaminski, the new Rowling book picks up Harry's story as he graduates from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and begins his career as a junior member of the Bush cabinet.

But once he arrives at the White House, young Harry discovers that the entire cabinet is under the spell of a mysterious wizard named "Ahmad Chalabi."

"Chalabi has convinced all of the cabinet members that there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and it's up to Harry to remove the spell," says Ms. Kaminski. "Ultimately, Harry fails, so he leaves the cabinet and signs a book deal instead."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 01:11 PM

Idaho Code 19-2716 provides that execution will be by lethal injection, except!

"...in any case where the director finds it to be impractical to carry out the punishment of death by administration of the required lethal substance or substances for the reason that it is not reasonably possible to obtain expert technical assistance, should such be necessary to assure that infliction of death by administration of such substance or substances can be carried out in a manner which causes death without unnecessary suffering, the sentence of death may be carried out by firing squad, the number of members of which shall be determined by the director...."

So nice to know that they have a fall-back position.

This, by the way, is fanatically opposed by the Idaho Legion, usually on very personal grounds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 01:01 PM

WOBH! For some reason I thought "drawn and quartered" was the means of execution whereby each of one's four limbs was tied to a draught horse and when the horses were whipped into action... Well, you get the picture.

I guess if I had a choice I'd rather have my 'nads cut off and burned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:46 AM

gee Amos, that smacks of treason!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM

Well, that answers that question!! Thanks, Nameless. This was, then, a punishment for treason, piracy, or spiritual treason (wrong religion). Maybe the chruch and state separation should have been articulated more carefully in the US Constitution; letting it slip can obviously lead to over-exertion by the judiciary.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:26 AM

drawn and quartered


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:25 AM

It sounds like what would happen to someone who insulted Penelope Rutledge in a public place...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 11:18 AM

That's not a sentence. It's a paragraph.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 10:50 AM

I am curious to know what that sentence really was, if it was genuine. Musta been a Republican court, I expect.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 09:31 AM

Whoopee! No possible jury duty call until Friday!

Oh, wait. Damn. I wanted to vote for execution in that insurance lawsuit. Oh, poop, I guess I'll have to wait.

"It is the judgement of this court that you be taken back to the place of confinement and on [date] you be taken from there to the place of execution, where you are to be hanged by the neck until life is nearly extinct, and then cut down, and your privy members cut off and burnt before your face, and your entrails withdrawn and likewise burnt, and then your heart likewise, and your head then struck from your body and your body divided into four parts and disposed of as His Majesty (or Her Majesty) sees fit."

Oh, I SOOOOOOOOOOOOO miss the old days! And that was for jaywalking!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 09:21 AM

To make others seem as incomprehensible as possible....so he will (he hopes) be able to survive as though worth something in comparison.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shlio
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 03:52 AM

And Shatner's will is?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 01:30 AM

The thing you must understand about the Great William Shatner is this: He seldom arrives when expected...but...occasionally he DOES arrive when expected. This is calculated to keep people off guard at all times and subtly orchestrate their actions. Thus they end up doing Shatner's will regardless of what they do or do not do!!!

It would be diabolical if it wasn't so wonderful. :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 01:16 AM

Why not? Someone can't tell the difference between homogeneity and homosexuality? I think the Dairy Department is in deep trouble...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 12:05 AM

Speaking of homophobia...

WalMart no longer calls their regular homogienized milk "Homo Milk".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 11:45 PM

That would be a homonym (unless you're a homophobe in which case you'll have to think of something else to call words that sound the same but have different meanings). Not to be confused with the recently-popular ad hominem.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 11:28 PM

No


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 11:22 PM

Gee! I was in such a hurry to beat Little Hawk William Shatner to the 2700th post that I misspelled "know". Well, actually, I didn't misspell "know". I spelled "no" instead and I spelled it perfectly. It just wasn't the correct word for the context, even though "no" and "know" sound exactly the same and if we were talking instead of writing the distinction between the two is totally nonexistant.

No what I mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 10:10 PM

cheat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 05:43 PM

Post #2700 will not be made by William Shatner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 05:42 PM

But I do no one thing with absolute certainty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 05:42 PM

I'm not really sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 05:41 PM

Is 2700 a signifigant number?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 04:58 PM

Heigh ho -- be sure to mention MOAB!! Often seen in public places, huh? Well, if the shoe fits, wear it on your own face...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 04:42 PM

Heigh-ho, I'm off to be on television.... And in the paper....

(And don't nobody say, "Fools names, like their faces/Are often seen in public places.")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 12:17 PM

Rustic... errrr... the Lab is male.

It's hard to explain in human terms. Even I don't quite understand it and I'm supposed to be one of the fathers of the little himherits.

You really have to be freds to understand it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 12:00 PM

Well, Hell's bells. I thought your Lab was a male, Bubba-Bubba. My friend and 'female' lab wants no part of that action after all. Ain't no homosexual dogs round these here parts, so I take back my invite. Not only because we don't have homosexual dogs round these parts, but because we respect our lizards and snakes as a true and equally important part of the eco-system. Stay away please.
Rustic
PS. We love our frogs too.
PSS. Good luck Bee-Dubya, I think your going to need it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 11:53 AM

Spock! SPOCK! SPOCK!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Bubba Bubba
Date: 19 Apr 04 - 09:54 AM

Bee-dubya honey, me and the lab are in Elko. You folks here have this stuff called money and I've gotta get me some more before I can continue on, so I've took me a job in a Red Lobster eating place for a while. The lab is okay and she's gonna have the pups about the time I go down to you, so everything will be wonderful for us. I'll be out of multiphase in a few days and of course I'll be hungry then, but there are lots of things here to eat. Lizards and snakes -- suck suck yum yum! Maybe I'll bring you some as a special treat we kin share.

I've still got a little secret I've learned to play and you'll never guess it. And I'm not going to give you any hints, because you guessed my accordion secret right off and I was so feared from your response that you'd have a heart attack out of joy. So I'm not gonna tell you, but if you guess I'll tell you if you're right, but you gotta promise not to have a joyful heart attack.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 10:34 PM

I put the John Deere people on my list a couple of days ago, LH (although I'm having a hell of a time finding the address for their corporate offices), along with several other companies with similar ATVs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 10:18 PM

YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-Ha!!!   An' accordin' to the video, you kin use it fer waterskiin', which oughta go over real big down where Bee-Dubya is! Duck huntin' an' waterskiin' all at once!

We'd git some fer the Idaho Legion, only it ain't rained much fer about six years now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:00 PM

Aha! That's a perfect candidate fer them thar wheels, Carol! Ah mean the one thet Bee-Dub had the link to. Ain't heard back from them other fellers yet.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:47 PM

This is for if the two of you decide to go parking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:40 PM

Heck, Carol, ain't nuthin' to addin' more wheels to 'em. Jus' han' me thet weldin' torch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:36 PM

It's nice, Bee-dubya-ell, but I think yore date is going to need the extra wheels and tires to support all of her various appendages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:28 PM

Thanks for the link, Carol, but this is John Deere country down here and if I were to be caught drivin' a multi-passenger ATV other than a John Deere Gator my neighbors would probably burn a cross in my tomato patch.


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