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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 02 Jan 11 - 05:37 AM
Acme 02 Jan 11 - 12:48 AM
Amos 02 Jan 11 - 12:14 AM
Little Hawk 01 Jan 11 - 11:47 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 11 - 11:41 PM
Amos 01 Jan 11 - 10:35 PM
gnu 01 Jan 11 - 06:42 PM
Amos 01 Jan 11 - 06:38 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jan 11 - 04:56 PM
GUEST,khandu without a cookie 01 Jan 11 - 04:00 PM
Eiseley 01 Jan 11 - 03:51 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jan 11 - 03:04 PM
Amos 01 Jan 11 - 03:01 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jan 11 - 01:27 PM
Amos 01 Jan 11 - 12:14 PM
Little Hawk 01 Jan 11 - 11:52 AM
Amos 01 Jan 11 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 01 Jan 11 - 07:56 AM
Amos 01 Jan 11 - 01:12 AM
Acme 01 Jan 11 - 01:05 AM
Amos 01 Jan 11 - 01:01 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 10 - 09:20 PM
gnu 31 Dec 10 - 08:32 PM
Acme 31 Dec 10 - 07:52 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 10 - 07:39 PM
gnu 31 Dec 10 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 10 - 03:25 PM
Amos 31 Dec 10 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 10 - 01:37 PM
Amos 31 Dec 10 - 10:28 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 10 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 10 - 11:43 PM
Acme 30 Dec 10 - 08:54 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 10 - 07:47 PM
gnu 30 Dec 10 - 07:13 PM
Amos 30 Dec 10 - 07:01 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 10 - 06:48 PM
Amos 30 Dec 10 - 06:12 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 30 Dec 10 - 05:42 PM
Amos 30 Dec 10 - 01:48 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 10 - 11:58 AM
GUEST,Eiseley 30 Dec 10 - 11:38 AM
Amos 29 Dec 10 - 11:00 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:51 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:47 PM
gnu 29 Dec 10 - 08:46 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 10 - 08:44 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:43 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:43 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:42 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 11 - 05:37 AM

We've made an arrangement with the Swiss, Amos. They need maple syrup. We need snow. Every month during the winter Canada ships tens of thousands of liters of maple syrup to switzerland and the Swiss send us fresh snow from the Alps. This has worked out very well for many years, and it keeps our Canadian winters as snowbound as they should be. This quick thaw, however, has resulted in a "snow gap" that is very troubling, and the Swiss shipments have not kept up with the demand. It's quite disturbing, specially for skiers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jan 11 - 12:48 AM

What a rare appearance - Khandu! (Still doesn't get my moniker, but what the heck).

It's cold here in N. Texas, perhaps we should ship this up to LH. If there was snow on the ground here, it would at least stay frozen overnight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 11 - 12:14 AM

Do you have to ship it in from somewhere? Or how do you get it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 11:47 PM

It's so warm here that most of the snow we got in December has melted away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 11:41 PM

I have returned. Back on the hill, in my own desmesne, where is it -8 Kelvin. Yes! It is so cold that we have had to build a fire to thaw out the cold so we can feel cold. Not much snow though -- at least, not until we thaw out the cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 10:35 PM

That's not news!
And know, Gnus, that no news is good for Gnus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 06:42 PM

I am not!

Yo, King. Happy New year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 06:38 PM

Oh King! Oh King! Oh King Khandu!
'Tis true that we have followed through
And done what you said we should do!
But we could't'a done it without you!!!


That said, it is only meet to point out that some people are much more easily stupefied than others...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 04:56 PM

Khandu, we miss you! Even Penelope Rutledge misses you...a little.

Yes, we have striven mightily to expand the horizons of BS, and here you see the glorious results. Stupefying, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,khandu without a cookie
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 04:00 PM

To Amos, Little Hawk, Rapzier, Silly River, William Shatner, Harry Lee Wigley and the whole mob of regulars whose names I am too lazy to type;
I applaud you for taking this thread, creating a lumbering monster that I'm certain Joe Offer detests, and stuffing it to overflow with such delightful BS!
I wish each of you the best you can milk out of this new year!
With heartfelt admiration and a wee bit of envy,
khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 03:51 PM

Happy New Year, Ersatz Family

I'm home again, ready to clean the house and relax after driving hundreds of miles. So nice to be home, and the cat is glad to see me, too.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 03:04 PM

Thanks, Amos! Same to you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 03:01 PM

Have a great year, Hawkster--flourish, prosper, and love a lot.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 01:27 PM

That's true. And that's why we haven't done it yet. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 12:14 PM

Ummm...the 21st rock from the sun is probably a small chunk of ice out in the Kuiper belt, or a shattered fragment of an asteroid somewhere. To look under such a thing would be a highly relativistic operation.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 11:52 AM

The Fellow from Pocatello is indeed a strange and unique creature. One of a kind. A freak of Nature. An anomaly. A conundrum. A non-sequitor. What you might find if you looked behind or under the 21st rock from the Sun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 11:08 AM

Jabberwhacky


Of all the offspring ever sprung
The old, the fat, the lean, the young
The hard, the weak, the strong, the slack
Only a few are truly whacked.
Chicago Slim, and Boston Blacky
Were both especially whacky.
But in all the world, one whacky fellow
Who lives up north, in Pocatello,
Is first on any whackster's list.
And some say never would be missed.
This glib rapscallion is so slick
So quick of tongue, of wit so thick,
So smooth of eye, this northern toff
Some say he should just be whacked off.
But that would be both crude and tacky.
So we'll just leave him being whacky.
And if he's offed, for joy or pelf,
He'll have to do that task himself.

Carrington SMithers Dupree
Hard Words in Soft Meter
Culler d'Ordure Publications, Paris, 1929


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 07:56 AM

You callin' me whacky? Huh? Are you? Well, buddy you just...hmm...maybe you're right. For a change. And please do, for I think your Depends are undependable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 01:12 AM

When you're born in and of The City, it never leaves your blood, and the year ends when the ball goes up whether you are in California or Turkistan.

So Happy New Year one and all, and Auld Lang Syne to you all. Fondest thanks for a very funny MOAB sort of year, and a brilliant New Year ahead for Mom and all her whacky offspring!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 01:05 AM

Ewww. Pause a moment and visualize that.

















Ok. You can quit now or you'll make yourself sick.






















Fireworks or gunfire, not sure which, is going off. So the girls are in the house for a while so they don't get scared by it.



Have a good New Year, all, and MOM, you can go to bed now. Amos will take care of the west coast celebration in a couple of hours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 11 - 01:01 AM

So Rapp gets to celebrate the NEw Year by getting his balls squeezed by an overweight minimum-wage TSA turk with A bad haircut?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 09:20 PM

I am not saying where it is that you get drunk....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 08:32 PM

Dearest Rap :

I have never GOTTEN drunk in any gutter or gaol.

How dare you insinuate same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 07:52 PM

I wonder how many people in Utah, particularly in Moab, Utah, have Googled "Moab" and landed on this thread? Maybe we don't hear about it because no one drinks in Moab, so there are no meandering, mis-typed posts from any late-night Utah readers.

Just a thought, since so many of our folks (at least two of you) are spending an inordinate amount of time in Utah lately.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 07:39 PM

Mom, if you don't hear from me tomorrow I won't be with Amos and Bee-Dubya and gnu and the rest of the guys drunk in some gutter or jail. No, I'm flying back to Idaho (via SLC) and I hope I'll be able to tell you of my adventures (I sincerely hope that there aren't any!) tomorrow evening or Sunday.

In the meantime, I hope you and the sibs have a Happy New Year, and that no one gets too drunk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 03:34 PM

Rap... Billybob is often a guest subversive warfare instructor at Camp X in Ontario but if you mentio


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 03:25 PM

And the cop replied, "Pullet? That's rooster if I ever saw one!" and ran Amos in for chicken rustling. This wasn't eggsactly what Amos had in mind, especially with a lynch mob of angry chicken farmers outside the jail, so (being the only prisoner) he worked his way up the pecking order and did a jail beak. The cop, however, trailed Amos for years because the break just plain stuck in his craw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 02:04 PM

I think the miscreant Rapparee is suffering from multiple cognitive distortions of which I append herewith a convenient list for enhanced self-assessment and reflection on personal error by said miscreant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 01:37 PM

Mom, Amos spelled it wrong. It was what he said to the cop after he was caught stealing chickens: "It's a pullet, sir."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 10:28 AM

Good morning, Mom!! Listening to Raparree again? Did he tell you about the Pulitzer? There was a ceremony and a lot of speeches. It was very flattering and all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 10:03 AM

Good morning, Mom! I see you're awake and I hope you had a lovely evening of gentle, peaceful, sleep. Eiseley will be fixing breakfast for you and I've brought a a pot of that Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee you like so much. Amos and LH finally did get home and no, they didn't get arrested. Stilly washed their clothes, which, as you feared, reeked of cheap liquor and worse. The boys are in their rooms now, sleeping it off. I don't know WHAT they'll do tonight, on New Year's Eve, but we can probably raise bail if we need too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:43 PM

Senor Shatner is quite busy at the moment, on a special "black ops" mission for a Canadian Government Ministry that is so secret that to utter its name is cause for assassination. I assume that this makes preparing the budget quite difficult, but that's the Official Secret Secrets Act for you. I know this through my connections here in Washington who learned it from their counterparts in Ottawa who, as usual, are acting under orders from Washington, who are doing the. bidding of the Great Manatee and the rest of the Luxemburger Illuminati. The only suggestion I can give you is to stockpile boiled peanuts, yttrium, and magnolia blossoms for the coming debacle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 08:54 PM

The cartoonist Tom Tomorrow tweeted about this interview yesterday. He said

Heard great interview w/ @williamshatner on @OnPointRadio yesterday. A creative dynamo at 79YO--there are worse role models.

link


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:47 PM

Not many people get personal offers of counseling from Mr Shatner, Amos. I think you should jump at the opportunity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:13 PM

Know? Who knows?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:01 PM

How do you know that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 06:48 PM

You still haven't heard from me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 06:12 PM

Bill:

Well, you always did have a tin ear, and never were much for nuances, but maybe a fundamental sense of grammar would help realize who that ad was for. If not, perhaps Shane would be willing to offer tutoring.
Besides, my head is normal-sized. I bety you could get a real discount on the tutoring with your negotiating skills--you're so good at bullying desk clerks and such.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 05:42 PM

You're not thinking of ending it all, are you, Amos? Get a grip, mister, it's not that bad! I know we all face that dark night of the soul on occasion, like the fallow years I faced around the time the original Star Trek show wrapped up. I had some low moments, I can tell you. T.J. Hooker sucked! And, boy, did I know it. But I always kept in mind the as yet uncharted possibilities of life....the poss-i-BIL-ities, Amos! And it never took me long to pick myself up again and renew my faith and confidence.

What I advise you to do is reconsider your whole position now and not do anything hasty. There is no need for you to be talking about coffins, my good man. Why, your best years may yet lie ahead of you. Keep that in mind. Twitter me if you experience any more of those self-destructive thoughts, okay?

And you can call me "Bill".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 01:48 PM

"Wanted: one over-size coffin suitable for man with large head. Must be in good condition, pretentious and ornate, substance secondary."




There, now he can appear.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:58 AM

Shatner won't show up unless he is in the ads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:38 AM

Yay for Stilly! In lieu of a tangible prize, I will send her a virtual visit from Gluon's young pup that has been living with me for about nine months now. She is a sweet dogling and is completely housebroken. Also, I hereby throw a virtual snowball at Rapaire because even though there is about a foot of the white stuff here in SLC, I don't think even my 14-year-old's arm is good enough to lob it all the way back East.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 11:00 PM

It sure ain't a Mac...


A

Oh, Mom, I decided to be forward-looking for a change and downloaded a virus/malwar antivirus software package and ran it.

Not a cough in a carload.

May it ever be so.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:51 PM

Maybe it's allspice? Something cinnamon-like?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:47 PM

What is really irksome is that one huge drag on loading is all of these ads. You can see the page, kind of, but there is a little script at the bottom telling you that it's held hostage for some ad page that is slow to load.

Shatner knows better than to appear under such circumstances, apparently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:46 PM

COLGATE! THERE IT IS! I just made the connection.

Pro Health, to be exact. Whatever they put in that is the spice I tasted in SiL's turkey stew. It tasted okay when it was fresh and hot but I got some to take home. After a day in the fridge... yecccchhhh. I am not shittin. I wonder just what it is. I am "spiceless". I use onions, pepper... the wildest I get is soya sauce and that's ONLY when rice is involved.

Even summer savory is kept to a pinch in my stews.

Whatever it is, it should not be in stew or soup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:44 PM

Hmmm. No Shatner. Perhaps the Great Man will grace us when 40,000 rolls around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:43 PM

Maybe.

39000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:43 PM

Hmmmm. That was a little quicker. Maybe Bill Gates knows he's on the spot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:42 PM

AND THIS one to open.


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