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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 27 May 07 - 11:32 PM
Amos 27 May 07 - 01:51 PM
Rapparee 27 May 07 - 01:23 PM
Acme 27 May 07 - 12:05 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 May 07 - 07:12 AM
Amos 26 May 07 - 08:13 PM
Acme 26 May 07 - 08:06 PM
Amos 26 May 07 - 11:01 AM
Acme 26 May 07 - 01:01 AM
Amos 26 May 07 - 12:19 AM
Acme 25 May 07 - 11:10 PM
Acme 25 May 07 - 09:22 PM
Amos 25 May 07 - 04:51 PM
MMario 25 May 07 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 25 May 07 - 02:24 PM
Acme 25 May 07 - 01:09 PM
Rapparee 25 May 07 - 11:30 AM
Acme 25 May 07 - 09:57 AM
Amos 25 May 07 - 09:18 AM
Rapparee 25 May 07 - 09:01 AM
Rapparee 24 May 07 - 10:50 PM
Amos 24 May 07 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 24 May 07 - 04:42 PM
Acme 24 May 07 - 03:53 PM
Amos 24 May 07 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 24 May 07 - 01:34 PM
Acme 24 May 07 - 12:44 PM
Amos 24 May 07 - 10:05 AM
Rapparee 24 May 07 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 23 May 07 - 10:57 PM
Acme 23 May 07 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 23 May 07 - 10:35 PM
Amos 23 May 07 - 08:53 PM
Acme 23 May 07 - 07:56 PM
Amos 23 May 07 - 06:11 PM
Rapparee 23 May 07 - 04:52 PM
Amos 23 May 07 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 23 May 07 - 11:09 AM
Amos 23 May 07 - 09:59 AM
John Hardly 23 May 07 - 09:51 AM
Rapparee 23 May 07 - 09:06 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage, still at the hospital 22 May 07 - 02:34 PM
Amos 22 May 07 - 01:16 PM
MMario 22 May 07 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 22 May 07 - 12:59 PM
Amos 22 May 07 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 22 May 07 - 09:50 AM
MMario 22 May 07 - 09:41 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage sans cookie 22 May 07 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 21 May 07 - 11:52 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 07 - 11:32 PM

MOM, you've had a long day. Let me run a tepid bath and put clean sheets on the bed. The ceiling fan is on low so you'll be cool and comfortable as summer approaches. WHICH it ISN'T here in Texas. Soggiest GD spring I've seen since I lived in Seattle. But since it's Texas, things tend to rot when they get this wet. Every time I mow the mower creates a green paste I have to scrape off the underside lest the machine rust in the garage until the next time to mow. In about three day. Aarrgghhh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 07 - 01:51 PM

The children of the MOAB wander far, seeking to vindicate their Mother's faith that they would turn out as great successes. Their fates intermingle, and draw apart, and collide again in a labyrinth of strangely related fortunes, meandering through the bizarre reseau of Time. There are golden spots of joy and dark spots of fear, bright red bands of anger and irritation, and occasional blue streaks of momentary serenity. The Sons and Daughters of MOAB are the rainbow of time made human, of life in Western Civ evolving its own implacably wonderful destiny. They do not flail about, they do not flee, nor do they tremble or maunder, for these are the sons and daughters of MOAB, and they of all men are gfted with the Power of BS, and unto them shall all things come. If they wait long enough.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 07 - 01:23 PM

Hi Mom!

I'm at the Buffalo Bill Museum in Cody. More later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 07 - 12:05 PM

AWWW!!! Bunn, come around more often. If Mom can't cure what ails you, she'll at least provide a welcome distraction. Are you feeling (health-wise) okay now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 May 07 - 07:12 AM

I'm not quite sure what's happened to me recently either, but too much work, to much being ill, although not in the serious ways that MOAB families are suffering with, and my significant other breaking up with me is probably most of it.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 07 - 08:13 PM

Much more interesting than my neighnorhood ever since the police hauled Mrs Brown from across the street and drove he roff in a squad car. It's been pretty quiet since.

But, Mom, it's been a wunnerful day. I got half the new caulking painted in the eaves around the north and east ends. Then BBW and I went out and found a really nice office chair at the Healthy Back Store; it arrives tomorrow. Tryly excellent. My old one was literally falling apart after twelve years of steady wear and tear. THEN we went to Guitar Central and bought two SHUR 57's and two boom stands for my home studio recording system, a belated Christmas present. Wow!! I yam stoked.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 07 - 08:06 PM

I guess Rapaire is off burning hydrocarbons in his neck of the woods, John is selling pots in another neck of the woods, who knows what has happened to Bunn lately, Little Hawk hasn't been by for a while, BWL is making pots down in Floribama. . . those of us watching over injured people are holding down the quiet fort this weekend.

That's okay. Mom likes a quiet weekend every now and then. I can take the time to tell her about the cleanup going in a neighbor's back yard (code enforcement nailed them--finally--for the colossal junky mess back there) and the sheriff's deputies who crossed my and my next door neighbor's yards a couple of days ago, guns drawn, to sneak up on the old fart who discharges his pistol in his garage to shoot the squirrels he traps in his yard. The neighbors report it any time they hear a gunshot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 07 - 11:01 AM

You're giving them a dose of their own Medici, aren't you?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 07 - 01:01 AM

I think they're both correct in being afraid of that rag tag legion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 07 - 12:19 AM

Funny -- when I got home from work today, BBW had gone around one-handedly piling up a large collection of like munitions by our front door.

Amazing how rumors spread, innit?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 07 - 11:10 PM

Hmmm. Maybe she heard about the Legion headed this way and decided she'd need all her strength just to fight off tolerate their ministrations? I told her I was going to send them down to the Bush digs in Crawford, but she has a few rocks and sharp sticks stacked near her bedroom door just in case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 07 - 09:22 PM

I got Moonglow out of the house for a while so she'd get some exercise. The enticement--a new phone. We've had our latest Sprint phones for a couple of years so are both eligible for a $150 credit toward a new phone. I didn't upgrade mine today, but Moonglow is happily loading all sorts of stuff into her new Lazr phone. I may need to shop eBay for some phone tools software, but other than that, she's a happy camper. I dragged her around to a couple of other stores before we went home, and she is much perkier this evening. She finally even had a request for dinner--she hasn't been very hungry up 'til now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 07 - 04:51 PM

I say three cheers for PTs who know what the hell they're talking about. An hour with Gail made all th emystery and the confusion, and a good deal of the discomfort, go away.

BBW is doing ok, still fighting the pain, but she is a lot more sure of herself which all by itself makes things easier.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 May 07 - 02:31 PM

Good God! Whole body x-rays for poison ivy?

Poison Ivy is a contact dermatitis; using whole body x-rays is like amputating the arm for a hangnail!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 07 - 02:24 PM

Well, she got poison ivy when she was 7 and the doctors couldn't cure it with any of the usual or unusual medications. So they used one of the cutting-edge technologies of 1949/50: whole body x-rays, which cured the poison ivy. Ten years later Pat was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. She was annoyed because she was two weeks late starting college.

I merely say what she blurted out to a botanist last week: "Poison ivy caused my cancer!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 07 - 01:09 PM

Elaborate, PLEASE!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 07 - 11:30 AM

Poison ivy caused my wife's thyroid cancer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 07 - 09:57 AM

Our recovery here is a little kinder and gentler--more time on the table, a little less pain in the recovery (perhaps). But we're still considering the possibility of hives from the meds. At least, when she complains that I don't understand I can assure her that I do--my poison ivy is itching up a storm and will do so for a couple of more weeks before it begins to subside.

Hey, MOM, lets get the window screens in place and clean the ceiling fan blades. It's time to keep the rooms cool with a gentle cross breeze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 07 - 09:18 AM

Some guys will do anything for a picture. Especially opne that makes their legs look thin.

Interesting day ahead/ First bath with sling, and putting on a shirt, are like new adventures, cautious steps with occasional klaxons and rockets going off if the arm gets jostled wrong. We're off to see the physical therapist. The cutting was short and sweet; the healing from the cutting is long, slow, and painful as hell. A lesson for politicians.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 07 - 09:01 AM

Well, Mom, we're going away shortly after noon today. Yup. Gonna go over to Wyoming and buy a bunch of booze do a little touring and Pat's going to visit a couple quilt stores. We'll be in Pinedale and Cody and then we'll drive back through Yellowstone from the East entrance, which we've never done yet.

I understand that the grizzlies are out, but I'll do my best to avoid them! The paper said today that a guy from Montana who photographs the griz was mauled for the second time -- you'd have thought he'd learned not to mess with a griz and her cubs the first go-round, wouldn't you?

Anyway, we'll be back Monday sometime. You have a great Memorial Day, y'hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 07 - 10:50 PM

Sir, the Idaho Legion is a bunch of dyed-in-the-wool, deeply committed, pacifists except when they aren't. They believe that it is better to, in the immortal words of Monty Python, "Run away! Run away!" But when they must they will stand and fight like lions and lionesses, albeit either very young or very old ones. The Battle Flag of The Legion is replete with battle honors: Stillman's Run, 1st and 2nd Manassas, Tucker's Hole, Fetterman's Fight, Greasy Grass, and many, many more.

Gracious, a bullet-riddled ambulance! Why, the entire idea smacks of Chicago! Or a video game! The Legion maintains its equipment, especially if it might help them off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 07 - 06:24 PM

Nice ambulance, but why did they patch all the bullet holes? Makes it look too idealistic!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 07 - 04:42 PM

Well, the SD contingent is on a flatcar, waiting on a siding at Rattlesnake, Idaho. They've even loaded up the ambulance just in case it's needed. The Texas bunch is still at round-up and the First Sergeant hopes to have a majority gathered by tomorrow, maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 07 - 03:53 PM

In the name of altruism I must bow to the greater need of the nation and redirect the contingent headed this way to a point south of here. There is an man in Crawford, Texas, who needs his brain examined. Badly. The Idaho Legion are just the men to do it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 07 - 03:21 PM

I am very grateful to the legion, but they should be advised that they will be stopped at the border if they are accompanied by any vehicle less fuel-efficient than a 2006 Prius, which rules out the large-methane-quotient animals such as horses, cows, buffalo, and elephants. However, they could take a leaf from King Arthur's men under the Boss' impeccable guidance, and ride into town on bicycles. Once they made it over the Cuyamacas and the deserts just east of them, it would be all down hill from there. So they'd be right at home.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 07 - 01:34 PM

I'm arranging a little surprise for both of you.

The medics from the Idaho Legion have volunteered to come and help you both out! In fact, the entire 31415th Medical Battalion (Proctologic) is even now saddling up to ride to your aid. Companies I, J, and P are heading for Texas and Companies R, W, and U are entraining for San Diego. These are or were highly trained and skilled medical personnel whose expertise in proctology represents a total of literally weeks of experience. The Battalion Commander, Colonel Dr. Isaac C. Butts, came to the Legion after years of successful practice in Sexsmith, Alberta and should receive a license to practice shortly.

They should be headin' out as soon as the liquor ration is loaded.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 07 - 12:44 PM

BBW is fortunate--Moonglow has come up with a case of hives. Has to stop her Rx meds until we figure out which is the culprit. Probably the penicillin, we're waiting on a call back from the doc this afternoon. She has already checked with me regarding what she can take in four hours since the narcotic is off the list for a while.

Yup--hard on households. I wouldn't trade places with either of them right now. I'm working at home to keep an eye on the kiddo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 07 - 10:05 AM

Well, BBW slept under the enchantment of the original nerveblocker until about 0300 when she was rudely torn from sleep by pain. Then it was she discovered the real meaning of modern civilization in Vicodin.

She is very brave and the pain stays manageable as long as she doesn't experiment.

I guess I can go to work today...


She counts the minutes until her next pill is legal ( four hours) but won't let it pass her lips a minute early. Tough lass, her.

Good morning, Still!! Two households of pain and drugs. What a world, eh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 07 - 09:15 AM

Willy, with a taste for gore,
Nailed his sister to the floor.
Mother said, with humor quaint,
"Careful Will -- don't mar the paint."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 07 - 10:57 PM

Oh, yeah man, hydrocodone, yeah.............................


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 May 07 - 10:56 PM

We have picked up odds and ends in the creek in the back yard. Several kitchen knives, pots and pans, chairs, a bench. . . I guess if someone leaves this stuff in the back yard when the adjacent creek rises, it will get washed downstream.

We're settling down for the night. I made a loaf of bread this evening and every mom knows that the brain generates lots of natural endorphins in the presence of hot sliced bread with melted butter. Moonglow is mellow (hydrocodone also helps).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 07 - 10:35 PM

Down into the well
Which the plumber built her
Aunt Eliza fell.
We must buy a filter.


Nah, Amos, the club and shotgun-shell-grenade were found outside the building. The knife was found in the trash in the men's room; I'm glad that the lady who cleans wasn't cut.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 07 - 08:53 PM

Hello, Maggie!! How are you?? Is them kids okay? How about you?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 May 07 - 07:56 PM

Little Willie, feeling swell,
Pushed his sister in the well.
Said Willie's mother, drawing water,
"It's mighty tough to raise a daughter."


My first-born is back home now. She had demands this afternoon that have not been met. I'm bushed, the house is a mess, the animals need attention and when he comes in from his dad's house my son needs attention. I need attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 07 - 06:11 PM

Ya know, sometimes you have to stop repeating your well-established habit patterns and ask yourself, "What is it about THIS Men's Room...". Think outside the hole, so to speak.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 07 - 04:52 PM

Well, the cops are on their way now. We found a steak knife with a 6" serrated blade in the Men's room.

Knives, bombs, clubs...all in the last 6 months or so.... Sigh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 07 - 04:42 PM

Yepper. Starts Friday. Meanwhile she can squeeze a ball, and turn her wrist, but must not move elbow away from body. She'll be doing passive motion exercises once the pain wears off a bit. So far the pain has not started as the nerve blocker is in evidence, and she's feeling groggy of brain but generally quite bright and keeps on trying to do stuff, which I empathize with while trying to make sure she doesn't do anything with any force in it. Sheeshe.

One step at a time. The ligament, on inspection, was 95% shot, thin as a paper bag, and has now been cleaned up and nicely lid into a formed grove in the bone and spliced in with stout twine or something. They were very nice and gave us pictures, which BBW says is kind of like a mechanic handing you your old starter motor just to prove it needed replacing.


A

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 07 - 11:09 AM

Amos, that means ..........(ominous background music in a minor key............physical therapy!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 07 - 09:59 AM

ALways sounded to me like the name of a mountaintop in Colorado, for some reason. Ort one of those distant lands where you take your love to live a new life, in far Aspartame.

Sweetener? Honey's perfect if you can still get it. :D

BBW went in for rotor cuff surgery this morning -- I await the call to return to the center and help round her up. Schedfuled to start in 32 minutes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 May 07 - 09:51 AM

I think I'll stop using "Splenda" and go back to the more natural sweetner that God meant for us to use. Aspartame.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 07 - 09:06 AM

You know, if everybody in the country had a splenectomy, we'd finally get an ex-spleen-nation.

When they cut the holes, did she vent her spleen?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage, still at the hospital
Date: 22 May 07 - 02:34 PM

Waiting on various folks to come by to see Moonglow. She says stop saying funny things, it hurts to laugh.

patéectomy --Good one, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 07 - 01:16 PM

I knew a young lady once who experimented with blowing the shofor, but her father fired the guy and made him turn in his uniform.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 May 07 - 01:11 PM

or they are the cringing lackeys of imperialistic warmongers.

(strictly based on your comments)

(ps - my apologies to Barkey)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 07 - 12:59 PM

Just look at the record, Amos:

-trumpets (shofors, actually, but an ancestor) tumbled the Walls of Jericho;

-trumpets have traditionally announced the entrance of potentates;

-trumpets have hurled men into battle against Evil;

-great announcements (and small ones, too) have been trumpeted throughout the land;

-and there is supposed to be The Last Trump.

No other instrument has these distinctions! Consider:

-God didn't tell Joshua, "March around the city, playing your accordions."

-Nobody ever said, "Hark! The harmonicas announce the entrance of the King!"

-"We will guitar the news throughout the land." Nope, doesn't work.

-And nobody ever refers to "The Last Banjo Pick."

Yessireebobtail! Trumpeters rule!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 07 - 10:53 AM

Right on, Rapaire -- well, at least i know ONE trumpeter who does.

Moonglow, congratulations on a successful patéectomy!!

Heal fast and return to the Great Race.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 07 - 09:50 AM

Hey, ain't nothing like GOOD sausage and biscuits. I don't think you're likely to find them in a hospital however.

You do know that doctors now keep a bit of whatever they remove and use it to clone the patient, don't you? One of these days you'll be walking down the street and see a whole regiment of your daughter's clones closing in on you, all of them shouting "Mom! She's touching me! Make her stop!" and "Can I have an ice cream pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaasssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" (I didn't say they'd be particularily mature clones.) You'll try to run, but it will be far, far too late....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 May 07 - 09:41 AM

nawww - out in the boonies hospitals serve dry cereal for breakfast; grape nuts, or something like that, y'know the kind of cereal that needs to soak for a week before it's edible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage sans cookie
Date: 22 May 07 - 09:34 AM

From the hospital room: food service person just brought a breakfast of biscuit and sausage and gravy to Moonglow. Right after the nurse and I agreed that we thought southern breakfasts were something one encountered out in the boonies. Good thing her dad stopped by earlier with bagels and fruit.

The bebe is doing fine; it seems that it hurts when they remove a large spleen through a little hole (they disconnect the spleen from everything then they run a baggie in through one of the holes, into which the spleen is slipped and the bag closed. They then stick a finger through one of the laparoscopy holes to break up the now-discarded organ and slip the whole thing out one of the little holes. The doctor told us it is rather like trying to pick up a football with a pair of chopsticks.) This kid and her sense of humor--after the appointment when he described the procedure to us she suggested we bring some crackers for pate. Yup, she's a MOAB kind of kid!

Hope to take her home today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 07 - 11:52 PM

I keep tellin' ya, Trumpeters RULE, dude.


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