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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 06 Feb 07 - 10:21 PM
Amos 06 Feb 07 - 08:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Feb 07 - 08:05 PM
Amos 06 Feb 07 - 07:59 PM
Amos 06 Feb 07 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 07 - 02:50 PM
Acme 06 Feb 07 - 12:42 PM
Rapparee 06 Feb 07 - 12:19 PM
Amos 06 Feb 07 - 10:02 AM
Acme 06 Feb 07 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 06 Feb 07 - 08:12 AM
Acme 06 Feb 07 - 01:34 AM
Rapparee 05 Feb 07 - 08:27 PM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 07:34 PM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 04:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 07 - 03:09 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 07 - 02:27 PM
Acme 05 Feb 07 - 02:16 PM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 01:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 07 - 12:54 PM
Bunnahabhain 05 Feb 07 - 12:46 PM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 12:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 07 - 12:37 PM
MMario 05 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 11:01 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 07 - 10:51 AM
Bunnahabhain 05 Feb 07 - 09:39 AM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM
GUEST,FOLK1E 04 Feb 07 - 08:13 PM
Bunnahabhain 04 Feb 07 - 05:13 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 01:32 PM
Acme 04 Feb 07 - 11:16 AM
Amos 04 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 10:27 AM
Amos 04 Feb 07 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 10:05 AM
Bunnahabhain 04 Feb 07 - 07:26 AM
Acme 04 Feb 07 - 02:38 AM
Amos 03 Feb 07 - 11:36 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 07 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 07 - 10:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 07 - 10:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 07 - 10:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 07 - 10:17 PM
frogprince 03 Feb 07 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 07 - 09:56 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 10:21 PM

There was a young swordsman named Fisk
Whose fencing was exceedingly brisk.
So fast was his action
The Fitzgerald Contraction
Turned his epee to a disk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 08:41 PM

An antediluvian mug
WHo had ears that stuck out, like a jug
On his death was set thinking
By his martingale shrinking
In the rain. And he gasped out, "Oh, fug!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 08:05 PM

Only 16 posts to go 'til theBIG 16!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 07:59 PM

Cheeeze -- ya use one three-syllable word and everyone clams up on ya!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 03:00 PM

Listen to the martingale
Listen to the martingale
For the martingale has hung him where he lies,
....tumtee tumtee....not you, Rapaire. A famous antediluvian paramour.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 02:50 PM

Humph! A martingale is a leather strap that holds the grip of the Italian epee or foil to the inner arm. This is usually illegal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 12:42 PM

Martingale. Looks a little kinky, Rap. How are you planning to use it?

I think the games my son selected aren't as involved with the throwing and such.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 12:19 PM

Well, that's a great idea Amos! I'll use a martingale with the new rapier. Should help a lot. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 10:02 AM

Make sure you test the wrist strap--there were a number of unhappy explosions when the Wii first hit the streets, caused by flying controllers meeting obdurate TVs in their big glass centers. Also various bruised noggins and broken vases, etc. You Tube was cluttered with these incidents for a couple of days. They even had a recall to replace the wrist straps. But you gotta use them. Otherwise things can gget wiidiculous pretty quickly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 09:40 AM

Sounds more like an uncivil war. And your pals are a couple of stinkers, which could make that a civet civil war . . . just helping Mom along. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 08:12 AM

My new rapier came yesterday, or rather, over the weekend. I was going to take it to Fencing tonight. Sure. I have a dinner at 6 with a discussion following, and since it's the Idaho Commission on Libraries (called "The Idaho State Library" before they got delusions of grandeur) I really can't just shuck it off so I can be at Fencing at 7.

I took it up to the Legion Hovel last night, though. Actually, I stopped by to deliver some flyers on my way home. Thutnose The First and King Billy were looking in the car window at the rapier when I came out.

"Whut's thet?" asked the Nose.

"Rapier," I replied with a sigh. I know how these things go.

"Whut's it fer?"

"Opening letters," I replied.

"Kinda big fer thet, ain't it?" asked the King.

"We get big mail down at the library," I said.

Silence.

"Well, Ah never woulda guessed THET," said the King. "It looks like a frog sticker ma daddy usta have when we lived in the swamp in Alabamy."

"Alabamy?! You some kinda Reb?" exploded the Nose.

"I wuz born thar. What's it to you, ya clod-jumpin' Yankee?"

As I drove off the US Civil War had broken out. Yet again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 01:34 AM

I have one more thing to fight my Wii way past now. We were finally able to find the games that the kids had each received cash for at christmas (from their Dad--I don't have enough money to buy one, let alone two of those things!). I did the shopping, however, and got the games on two separate days last week (they still won't let you buy more than one at a time). One is in another city with Moonglow, but one is here at the house and is now Internet ready. And the "Cool!" that I heard come from my son as he skipped around web pages tells me that he is thrilled to come a step closer to having a computer in his room (his computer is in the living room, where every child's computer belongs). My router is going to be working extra, so I'll try to keep my MOAB posts short and sweet and see if I can shoot out to the Internet when there is a lull in the back bedroom activity.

23 to go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 08:27 PM

Jist twenny-five more to go, girls an' boys.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 07:34 PM

We were fifteen nine and seventy-four
When the wind began to moan
And Rapaire ducked into his cellar-keep,
Said "I'm glad I'm safe at home...".
But Bunnhab was out in the windy wild
A struggling to survive,
He'd find BS to bring home to Mom
To make her seventy-five.
And BWL, like a bat from hell,
Was weaving through the Dixie night
And he cussed and he swore he would post twice more
Before the mornin' light.
Stilly River Sage, in a fit of rage,
Ripped the screen door of her hive!
And she loped and cussed,
In the Texas dusk,
Looking for nine seventy-five.
Now the world is tense,
And they can't relent
Their place on the edge of their fears
For they now that soon,
'Neath a Mudcat Moon,
Some hero soon will appear.
Whether he or she, where the words run free
That hero will tap and strive
And sprung back from death,
With a grateful breath,
They will see old nine seventy-five.
THere'll be cheering then
And a drink or ten,
And legionnaires will do tricks.
All until the dawn!
Then they'll soon be gone.
Until someone posts seventy-six.


Aleph Alpha Primera Lettera
Songs from the First Vowel
Aardvark Press, Aardvark, AL, 2001


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 04:35 PM

Hell, the Weigh Jones average is way down, South in Dixie. Around 315 pounds on the average, I believe. It's the Twinkies, Moon Pies, and RC that does it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 03:09 PM

We don't call it "Tao" in the southland. We use the approximate English translation of "Way".

Yes, it's a Way, down south in Dixie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 02:27 PM

Last time I saw Tao Jones he was laying on the floor of the Legion Hovel, his head pillowed in the spitoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 02:16 PM

I'll try fighting my way through the ether to post this afternoon. A couple of attempts yesterday hung up and I gave up. I know this isn't due to MOM's girth (that's a nasty rumor).


. . .SRS
========


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:41 PM

At 15969 I think there is a lost square of three-ness inherent. That would be the way of the Tao, Jones.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM

You lost me, but that also is part of the MOAB way.

By the way (no, not the MOAB way, just the regular way) nobody commented upon the line in my previous post:

...it's proven impossible to get most of the younger generation to abandon their computer games long enough to engage in anything as esoteric as MOABing.

To the best of my knowledge, that represents the first instance of MOAB being used as a verb*. I have chosen not to pursue obtaining copyright for said usage so you guys can use it as you see fit. After all, expecting to be paid royalties by fellow MOABites just wouldn't be the MOAB way, would it?


* Yeah, I know MOABing is technically a gerund, but one can't have a gerund without first having a verb, can one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:04 PM

If it's a Euler polynomial, scaled or not, it is not susceptible to eigenstructure. Anyone could see that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 12:54 PM

Is 16 a perfect number? Is it an amicable number? What did Pascal say about 16? What did Fermat say? How about Itsy Newton? Or Archie Medes? We need to know what the Great Mathematicians of the Past thought about 16!

For example, is it quintic polynomial? Some quintic polynomials are solvable by radicals, and MOABites are about as radical as they come. Or what about Demoivre's Theorem -- how does that apply to 16? It's obviously a Euler polynomial scaled by one-half, but what of the other half? And what is 16's Eigenstructure?

Inquiring minds must know these things and more!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 12:46 PM

I went for a walk in the park , and found some beautiful Lower Carboniferous ripple marks, with a baked cementstone, and a Dyke swarm, and some archaeologists making a mess with some traffic cones, and some council workmen half way up the Crags, trying to dislodge loose rock onto tourists below.

It's amazing what you see if you keep your eyes open...


I though BWL had far more fun that time we refused to send his clothes on, and he had to walk back naked, again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 12:44 PM

Yeah, MOAB way or the highway, or the other way, or the old way, or my way, or the throughqway, or the freeway, or the Overdahillzanfarra way. WhutEVer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 12:37 PM

By the way, I'm aware that I could have stated the mathematical musing in my previous post by simply saying 16=2^4, but that would have been far to succinct, insufficiently obfuscatory, an not in keeping with my stature as the MOAB village idiot. Anyway, it just wouldn't be the MOAB way, and all things done on the MOAB must be done in the MOAB way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM

SNOW DAY!!!!!! yippee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 11:01 AM

Great, BWL, just great. Have a safe trip, and let us know when you get back where to send your clothes how you want to organize the funding.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 10:51 AM

In view of Mom's impending Sweet Sixteenth, I think it appropriate to dwell, ponder, and generally go "Hmmmm!" about the number sixteen.

The square root of sixteen is four. The square root of four is two. So, not only is sixteen the sqaure of a whole number, but its square root is the square of a whole number as well. Sixteen is the first number in the decimal counting system to exhibit this characteristic. The next is 81 (3x3=9, 9x9=81), followed by 256 (4x4=16, 16x16=256), then 625 (5x5=25, 25x25=625), then 1296 (6x6=36, 36x36=1296) etc.

As one can easily see, the differences between numbers in this series get increasingly large as one progresses. Now, it's possible that, at current posting rates, most of the current crop of MOABites may be around when Mom hits 81,000 posts in about fifteen years. But 256,000 won't come around until 2063 and I doubt many of us will be around then.

So, as I see it, we have four options:

1) Post more frequently. Post, post, post!

2) Recruit new MOABites from among the current Mudcat membership. This could be extremely difficult since most of them think we're idiots.

3) Recruit new MOABites from outside the current Mudcat membership, particularly younger people who can carry on the MOABite way. This also could prove difficult since it's proven impossible to get most of the younger generation to abandon their computer games long enough to engage in anything as esoteric as MOABing.

4) Pay people to post. There's a gentleman in Nigeria who wishes to give me a ridiculously huge amount of money for doing nothing . I would be more than willing to donate the money he is going to send me to the cause.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 09:39 AM

Actually it's about 11.63 posts a a day, or one post every about 124 minutes.

We never make up anything round here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM

thereof

SYLLABICATION: there·of
PRONUNCIATION:   thâr-v, -v
ADVERB: 1. Of or concerning this, that, or it. 2. From that cause or origin; therefrom.




Damn adverbs, always putting on airs and pretending to prepositional status they don't deserve.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,FOLK1E
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 08:13 PM

15.357 POSTS PER DAY
OR 1 EVERY 1.56 HOURS
Sorry I just made these figures up ..... or did I?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 05:13 PM

There's no nonsense round here. I know, as I hunted it all down recently, and it was very tasty...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 01:33 PM

And as my dear friend, Winston Churchill, once said when accused of ending a sentence with a preposition, "That's the sort of nonsense up with which I will not put."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 01:32 PM

Thereof.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 11:16 AM

Here's your "at," what's your hurry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM

Oh, I'm very sorry. Was it "play" , "thing", or "so" that you decided was a preposition?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:52 AM

You also spelled "mushrooms" wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:27 AM

You're ending a sentence with a preposition, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:19 AM

Well, izzat so? I am sure it is terribly... large ...but knowing how to use it is of course the important thing. Show us, then, the proper use thereof. Or is Mushrroms of Patmos syndrome at play?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:05 AM

Ahem. I will have you know that I did NOT us a thesaurus, on-line or otherwise. So watch it -- I have a vocabulary and I know how to use it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 07:26 AM

That's better. I knew all I really needed was MOAB and some proper food. Having beaten their attempts to drive me to the edge of a nervous breakdown, intentional or not might have helped a bit as well....

They shall sweep all before them, but I shall not care, as my job is finished. They have numbered them, and their number shall be at least 24, and they have been placed, and they shall know their places. They shall be clothed in white, and this year they shall not wear pink underwear with it. They shall walk in files, or and random circles and up the walls if you hold the choreography the wrong way up. They sh..

Ahh, I've come down with a bad case of prophets. Now I look carefully, the tin of Mushrooms in lunch does say 'Produce of Patmos'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 02:38 AM

I needed a good chuckle before heading to bed. Thanks, BWL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:36 PM

Jeeze-arooty -- give a guy access to an on-line thesaurus and he takes a yard, meter, increment, measure, rod, chain or ell.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:41 PM

Well, he IS those things. Dirty and incoherent. He's also loathsome, tone deaf, scrofulous, woeful, scabarous, lousy, flea-bitten, hagridden, innumerate, vengeful, disparate, delusional, grandious, bombastic, obsequious, strabismic, inchoate, loud, intemperate, off-key, serpentine, uncorrected, byzantine, unedited, beggarly, ill conceived, thoughtless, and sottish.

President?? I dunno...he's got some bad points that I'm sure the media will blow all out of proportion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:29 PM

"Attenpts"? Ah, fuck it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:28 PM

"MULDOON!" he says, "MULDOON!" as he frantically attenpts to reverse the flow of time to a point 1/10th of a second before he hit the "Submit" botton.

WTF? Even Tweed's crappy website has post editing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:22 PM

Okay, now that I've regained my composure, I suggest we nominate Mudfoot Nuldoon for President! Inasmuch as Senator Biden has drug being clean and articulate through the mud, perhaps we should have a candidate who is dirty and incoherent. Who better to fit the bill than Mudfoot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:17 PM

Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, sob, sob, sub, zub, snorch, blwah, fnrrrt!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:15 PM

Quick, post that one on the Tearjerker thread!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:56 PM

Well, if you haven't heard of Mudfoot Muldoon, the one-man jug band, you probably haven't heard of Gordon Lightfoot, Mary Travers, Pete Seeger, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Judy Collins, Tommy Makem, Utah Phillips, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Art Thieme, BB King, Paul Stookey, or any of them other musical artists who are known and celebrated throughout the known and unknown world. Ken Khandu is probably unknown to you! You must be ignorant of the works of Tweed his own self!

Frankly, I am shocked and dismayed by such a display of...of ignorance...on your part! But ignorance can be overcome by study and perserverence. Therefore, I will provide you with Mudfoot's greatest hit and you can study it and learn from it and even try to match his singing accompanied by his incomparable jug blowing. Here you are:

WILLIE'S AND NELLIE'S WISH

Willie and Nellie, one evening sat
      By their own little cottage door;
They saw a man go staggering by --
      Says Willie, "That's Mr. Lanore;
He is just going home from town, where
      He has been in a saloon.
When Maggie and I came from school,
      Said Maggie, 'Please papa, come home.'

"She asked him again, again, to come home.
      At last he got angry, and said:
'Maggie, go home -- don't bother me so;
      Go home now, and shut up your head.'
Poor girl, she came weeping all the way,
      As though her poor heart would break.
She could not play, not a word would say;
      With playmates no pleasure could take."

"'Tis the same child," Willie replied;
      "I'm sorry for Maggie Lanore.
I wish her papa would sign the pledge,
      And try to be a man once more.
He drinks up all the money he earns,
      In whiskey, rum, gin and beer;
His home is a home of poverty,
      Made so by his own career."

Says Nellie, "I wish Mr. Lanore
      Would go to the meeting to-night,
And hear the temperance lecture;
      Then perhaps he would try to do right.
One more little home of happiness,
      Would be in our midst, I am sure;
Then Maggie Lanore could say with joy.
      'My papa don't drink any more.'"

Said Nellie, "I told her never mind,
      We would be her friends evermore;
I hoped her papa would sign the pledge,
      Then he would not drink any more.
Then smiling through her tears, she said,
      'The temperance pledge, you mean;
If papa would sign it, then mamma
      And I will take comfort, I ween.'"

"I wonder," says Nellie, "can it be,
      The same child I saw go to school?
She wore ragged clothes. I saw her toes
      Were peeping out of her old shoes.
She has curly hair, and mild blue eyes;
      Can this child be Maggie Lanore?
If it is her, I sincerely wish
      Her papa won't drink any more."


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Mudcat time: 21 September 5:24 PM EDT

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