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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 30 Dec 05 - 11:18 AM
Acme 30 Dec 05 - 10:54 AM
Amos 30 Dec 05 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 05 - 08:58 AM
MMario 30 Dec 05 - 08:47 AM
Rustic Rebel 30 Dec 05 - 12:55 AM
Acme 30 Dec 05 - 12:25 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 11:13 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 09:00 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 05 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 08:53 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 07:41 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 05 - 07:22 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 05 - 06:50 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 06:33 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 05 - 05:42 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 05:37 PM
Acme 29 Dec 05 - 05:01 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 03:24 PM
MMario 29 Dec 05 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 03:10 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 Dec 05 - 03:08 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 03:08 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 02:59 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 Dec 05 - 02:58 PM
MMario 29 Dec 05 - 02:57 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 02:54 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 02:49 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 02:47 PM
MMario 29 Dec 05 - 02:37 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 Dec 05 - 02:18 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 02:15 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 02:04 PM
Acme 29 Dec 05 - 11:05 AM
Acme 29 Dec 05 - 10:39 AM
MMario 29 Dec 05 - 09:44 AM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 09:32 AM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 08:15 AM
Acme 29 Dec 05 - 12:54 AM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 10:08 PM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 08:12 PM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 08:02 PM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 07:49 PM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 06:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Dec 05 - 06:15 PM
Little Hawk 28 Dec 05 - 06:02 PM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 05:48 PM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 01:33 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 11:18 AM

And if he fails to appear, as seems likely, we'll find some other use for that patch.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 10:54 AM

If he can't find that particular field I can offer up a patch of prairie for you two to use.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 10:22 AM

Little Hawk:

I would gladly meet you on any terms you name on the field of honor; but I fear you would never be able to find it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 08:58 AM

I will say it long and say it loud:

Theodore Sturgeon was not aggressive enough in formulating his Law. MUCH MUCH more than 95% of everything is crap! Lots more! In fact, the entire Universe may be crap! There might not have been a "Big Bang" but a "Big Crap." A violent discharge from the rumbling guts of the Universe, a diarrhetic blowout of cosmic proportions. And if so, there will be no eventual "coming together" to form another in a series of endless "Big Bangs," but a huge, massive, overwhelming flushing sound will someday be heard, the Universe will swirl around (counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, of course) and with a loud gurgle and plop will vanish into the sewer pipes of the Infinity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 08:47 AM

RR: - use your secret decoder ring - I'd whisper butthat's still too loud.

RR - no offense was intended...*grin* I just run across these various urban legends and like to debunk them when I see them. Unfortunately the amount of trivia accdumulating in my skull means I know that a LOT of *truths* people spread are acutally false. Again, sorry if it caused any offense


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 12:55 AM

MMario follow me to the corner over here will you my man,,,,,,,,,,



(This must be a whisper between you and myself..
Birds can carry a shit further than a human person. They can also transmit a parasite that creates a type of leperosy to monkeys that make emus look like they can do a moondance on Jupiter with a jaunt. Mice can pick that rhumba up when they are inside the belly of a hungry leapord and transmit a curdled milk scream to an armidillo 250 miles from inside a space craft moving swiftly.)
MMario- let's just keep this info to ourselves, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 12:25 AM

No small swords here. I use a ballpoint pen to poke the ball out of my mouse (track ball).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 11:13 PM

I have a smallsword! Mice do not have such, nor would they be permitted arms as they can hardly be considered gentlemen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:00 PM

I am sure the mice in your area dream of a similar revenge, Sir!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:00 PM

(Heh! Heh!) I can see, Amos, that this affair of honor may require me to summon my seconds, select an appropriate set of deadly weapons, and arrange to give you the comeuppance you so richly deserve.

(or have we been through this before...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 08:53 PM

Well, there's nothing like greasy, dusty balls to prevent proper functioning. Mouse balls can be hell to remove, but other balls are generally pretty simple to keep clean. I usually use a bent paper clip to remove mouse balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 07:41 PM

As well not, sirrah, or there'd be too little business to mention.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 07:22 PM

My business, sir, unlike yours, is not dependent upon the condition of my balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:53 PM

I hope you don't get leprosy on your balls, either, sir; I would not wish to see your business fall off.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:50 PM

Those are a lot of questions.

I've seen Shatner walk backwards AND talk at the same time!

He is a man who can do anything he decides to do, and who can boldly go anywhere he wants to go. The paucity of his appearances on this thread is an indication of its real value...

Infinitesimal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:33 PM

Can Shatner walk backwards, should he choose to do so? Does he have leprosy on his balls? Can he waltz with bears? Leap tall buildings with a single bound? Is he more powerful than a locomotive? A car? A tricycle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 05:42 PM

It's not that emus can't walk backwards, they just don't choose to.

Also, Shatner did not choose to drop in for post 10,500. Same basic principle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 05:37 PM

I don't think that I'd like leprosy on my balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 05:01 PM

No leprosy on my track ball either. Thank goodness--I have enough other stuff to keep me busy, I don't need to be sending my track ball to Hawaii.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:24 PM

Mare's milk is used to make kvass, as Amos knows all too well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:21 PM

Camel milk will curdle. It is slower to curdle then most other dairy animal milk - but it does curdle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:10 PM

I, myself, use a track ball both at work and at home, for work and for play, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:08 PM

A camel's milk doesn't curdle.(This might also be my fact or it could be complete bullshit)
Take that yak and stick it in your butter churn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:08 PM

Sir, at Case Western Reserve University we were taught not to "P" on our hands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:59 PM

I have never seen a mouse-pad with monkey-foot syndrome, no matter how depressed it was. Mostly they keep on rolling, at least until they get too oily, or covered with office lint. Solipcism, now, that's a different story altogether.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:58 PM

Oh yes the monkeys. The monkeys have their fair share of mouse-foot pad syphillis. This I know to be a fact because it has come into my head and anything that just pops into my head is basically my fact. It doesn't mean it has to be anyone elses fact but certainly it must be mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:57 PM

oh -- yerah! Sure you didn't know!

BTW- Did you wash you hands after you went to 'P'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:54 PM

I didn't know that that was 10,500....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:49 PM

Are you talking about the historical "disease" called leprosy, or Hansen's Disease? Mycobacterium leprae, according to the CDC, has not been grown in media but has been grown in mouse foot pads. And if you are talking about Hansen's Disease, do you mean the paucibacillary multibacillary type?

Historically, "leprosy" could have been any of several diseases, including tertiary syphillis.

What is obvious, however, is to be careful with mouse foot pads. Mouse pads, however, can generally just be wiped clean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:47 PM

Rustic, answer me this. You go away for a year and a day, your light hidden in the far reaches of non-cyberspace, leaving us all to struggle along somehow without your bright presence, and you come back after all this time away and all you have to say is that emus can't walk backwards??

Are you okay? How was your trip? Welcome back!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:37 PM

actually the armidillo is NOT the only animal besides humans that can contract leprosy.

Although culture of M. leprae has never been achieved in artificial media, the bacterium may be grown in several experimental animals, including the armadillo, non-human primates, and to a certain extent, rodents. Naturally acquired leprosy has been reported in wild nine-banded armadillos (Dasypus novemcinctus) and in three species of non-human primates (chimpanzees [Pan troglodytes], sooty mangabey monkeys [Cercocebus atys] and cynomolgus macaques [Macaca fascicularis])",


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:18 PM

Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and armadillos are the only animals besides humans that can get leprosy. Just thought you all might like to know that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:15 PM

Oh, yes; oh, yes. Indeed, I do remember it well. Lila and Uthe. Well-formed in the best XML tradition. No-one does summer moonlight in the mountains better than an Uzbek lass, even if you get a little saddle-sore getting there.

And those yaks!!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:04 PM

The mayor said, "Tell Amos 'Hi!'" He remembers you from that time in Uzbekistan when you and he and two lovely Uzbek girls...something about moonlight in the mountains and kvass and I don't know what all because he was reminiscing with a far-away look in his eyes when I quietly left. He was certain you'd remember.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 11:05 AM

Well, shit. The dog did it again. Every time I think I've found her escape route and make an adjustment back there, she waits a couple of days to make me think I got it right, then she goes back to going over the fence again. This time I'm headed to Home Depot for those heavy guage wire clamps for the top of the fence and I'm going to put extras in so there is no gap wider than about 10 inches.

This is sport for this dog. She's happy here, she has company and gets fed and has human companions. I think she's trying to get Gluon's attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 10:39 AM

No "P" on Mom is right!

Pee is for the back yard. I take a handful of little dog treats when I let the girls out last thing at night and when I tell these two canine pals to "pee" and they finally get around to it then I offer each one her dog biscuit. One of these days they'll figure out how to pee on command.

Don't fall asleep on your forearms at your desk today, Rapaire. Go home at lunch and take a power nap. It'll work wonders for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:44 AM

Rap - I don't care is she *does* say it is okay...

DO NOT 'P' on MOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:39 AM

Don't worry, Rapaire. You really ARE Mom's favorite. Everybody knows that. You are. Say hi to the Mayor for me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:32 AM

You think that I'm not here yet, but I am. And I'm going to go to Texas and San WhereverthehellAmosis and take my sword and carve a big "P" on you guys because my secret identity is "Perro" (Don Diego de la Vega's illegitimate halfbrother on his Aunt Ethel's jigglelow's cousin's best friend's side) and Perro makes "The Sign of the P".

Sure, I've only had about 5 hours sleep and I have to meet with the mayor in about 90 minutes and then go to work and approve a bunch of credit card purchases and then call the Zoo Keeper back about a kiddy lit program the Rotaries want to do and I have to spread joy and cheer about the staff and public and go to the grocery store and get my Z-series transformer back and EVERYTHING because when I DO go away everything here and I include just goes completely to HELL and I have to fix it when I get back and Mom, Stilly and Amos are making snide comments about my sword handling so I'm going to go carve the Sign of the P on them, okay Mom?











Thanks. I knew you'd approve.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 08:15 AM

Oh, Mom just lets him think that because he might do something bad with swords otherwise.

Cats in bathrooms really should be a PhD thesis. SOmetimes they like to attack you on your very throne, or inspect the doings, or sit purring on the tank top. They love bubble baths -- as long as someone else is taking them!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 12:54 AM

Yup. Have you seen some of the photos of that work? Gruesome job. There's a Jacques Cousteau book about Whales that includes several such shots.

Another recent Mudcat discussion (started by our own Rapaire, who thinks he's Mom's favorite, but well, when he's gone so often I don't know how he can justify that illusion) had to do with trains and got into getting train stuff at eBay. I spent a little time at eBay myself this evening, hoping to snag a wonderful little NW Coast basket, but the reserve price was beyond where I was willing to reach. Probably way higher than my fairly substantial bid. It's probably not a good idea to put myself deeper in debt just in time for the New Year anyway.

Amos, it's your watch with Mom now since you're out west and it's early yet where you are. I'm headed for a hot bath, mostly to keep company with the poor kitty who is confined to the back bathroom while her most recent wound drains (inflicted by the vet who drained and packed an abscess on her chest). I'll soak and said cat will perch on the edge of the tub, and after I wash my hair she'll purr and rub and offer to groom it into place for me. (Well, it makes her happy, and that's what counts when she isn't feeling so good).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 10:08 PM

RObert Service.

Flenzing is one term for the slicing of strips of blubber from the side of a whale.

Early whalers used cold harpoons, in the form of metal or wooden spears with rope or cable attached, and usually barbed to prevent their release from the whale. Most of the first commercial whalers used hand harpoons, and later cold harpoons fired by cannons or guns. Explosive harpoons were not invented until the latter half of the nineteenth century.
The early cold harpoons rarely if ever caused instant death - multiple wounds, long chases and secondary measures such as the use of rifles, knives and clubs were required to kill the whales. Frequently animals were killed by flenzing (cutting them up).


And the never forgotten stanza:

Now we have got him turned up,
We tow him alongside;
We over with our blubber hooks,
And rob him of his hide.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 08:12 PM

And there was a remark over on the Raptor thread that was wrong--referring to Moby Dick. They "flenze" whales, the don't "fletch" them.


Oh, the days were slow and packed with woe, till I thought they would never end;
And I used to sit when the fire was lit, with my pipe for my only friend.
And I tried to sing some rollicky thing, but my song broke off in a prayer,
And I'd drowse and dream by the driftwood gleam; I'd dream of a polar bear;
I'd dream of a cloudlike polar bear that blotted the stars on high,
With ravenous jaws and flenzing claws, and the flames of hell in his eye.
And I'd trap around on the frozen ground, as a proper hunter ought,
And beasts I'd find of every kind, but never the one I sought. . . .


You get the idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 08:02 PM

Why does it always get to these pivotal numbers late at night? Staying up late just to ride shotgun for poachers. Might as well just run it up fast now. Over on the Raptor thread they're mimicking Hemingway. I'm sure we could think of something similar to keep MOM entertained for a little while and get past this next awkward stage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 07:49 PM

I think there was an episode of Star Trek that explains that image. Maybe Shatner will come back and explain it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:47 PM

It's gotta be "A". Shaggy, baggy, ready to rock & roll.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:15 PM

Speaking of things bearing likenesses...

Does the image revealed in this dental x-ray most closely resemble:

A) Guitarist Eric Clapton circa 1974
B) Guitarist Pete Townshend circa 1974
C) A young rabbi/carpenter from Nazareth circa 0001
D) Bee-dubya's ex-brother-in-law Bill circa 1985


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:02 PM

We're closing in on 10,500. I wonder if William Shatner will make a brief cameo appearance?

Regarding the potatoe chip....just, please God, don't let it TASTE like Bob Hope!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 05:48 PM

YEah, but seriously, who would buy a tee shirt or coffee mug with a picture of a potato chip on it??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 01:33 PM

Maybe they can replace it with a potato chip that looks like Bob Hope.


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