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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 23 May 05 - 07:15 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 May 05 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 23 May 05 - 01:32 PM
Acme 23 May 05 - 11:26 AM
Rapparee 23 May 05 - 09:12 AM
GUEST,MMario 23 May 05 - 07:56 AM
Acme 22 May 05 - 11:53 PM
GUEST,Amos 22 May 05 - 10:21 AM
Acme 22 May 05 - 10:18 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 21 May 05 - 10:08 PM
Amos 21 May 05 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 21 May 05 - 02:28 PM
Acme 21 May 05 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 21 May 05 - 11:33 AM
GUEST 21 May 05 - 02:10 AM
Acme 20 May 05 - 11:35 PM
Acme 20 May 05 - 07:35 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 May 05 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 20 May 05 - 04:01 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 May 05 - 03:10 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 May 05 - 03:10 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 May 05 - 03:08 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 20 May 05 - 02:43 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 20 May 05 - 09:20 AM
GUEST,MMario 20 May 05 - 09:10 AM
Paco Rabanne 20 May 05 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 20 May 05 - 08:46 AM
GUEST,MMario 20 May 05 - 08:32 AM
Amos 20 May 05 - 02:15 AM
Acme 20 May 05 - 01:04 AM
Rapparee 19 May 05 - 10:18 PM
Amos 19 May 05 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 19 May 05 - 09:37 PM
Bunnahabhain 19 May 05 - 08:43 PM
Amos 19 May 05 - 08:43 PM
Amos 19 May 05 - 08:37 PM
Bunnahabhain 19 May 05 - 08:37 PM
Amos 19 May 05 - 08:35 PM
Amos 19 May 05 - 08:33 PM
Rustic Rebel 19 May 05 - 08:26 PM
Amos 19 May 05 - 07:53 PM
Acme 19 May 05 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 19 May 05 - 05:03 PM
Acme 19 May 05 - 04:51 PM
GUEST,Amos 19 May 05 - 04:45 PM
Rapparee 19 May 05 - 04:41 PM
GUEST,Amos 19 May 05 - 04:25 PM
Acme 19 May 05 - 01:52 PM
GUEST,socially Inept 19 May 05 - 12:53 PM
Acme 19 May 05 - 12:32 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 05 - 07:15 PM

More annoying than this??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 May 05 - 06:07 PM

I decided

to see if I could be more annoying than
Brucie with his blue clickies
, and so am learning HTML codes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:32 PM

Just describing a condition, not fecundity. I could have also used "The leprosy has only consumed the nerves in your legs, not in both your arms as well, like we first thought!" or "Good news, General Custer! We're only outnumbered 100 to 1!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 May 05 - 11:26 AM

Rapaire, I think you need to work up a different simile. *Drought* and *fecundity* don't quite to work when you're describing degrees of drought.

I'd think it's more along the lines of "you have eight months to live instead of six."

just a pedant moment


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 05 - 09:12 AM

I know what it is! I know what it is! I hacked the CIA/NSA super-secret satellite x-ray photo database that the CIA/NSA/FBI keeps on MMario and I know what it is! All I can say is, I didn't know that you could knit a sweater for that!

I couldn't get onto MC this morning via either door but I could get in via Help and I was able to log in there and even go to threads and so here I am and happy Monday, Mom.

Yes, I did spend yesterday in yard. Giving the lawn a second cut in two days. Been a lot of rain here, thank goodness. We've moved from an official condition of "Extreme Drought" to an official condition of "Drought." That's like the doctor saying, "Good news! You're not eight months pregnant, you're only SIX months pregnant!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 23 May 05 - 07:56 AM

I wasn't working in the yard, because it was chilly and cold and damp and nasty out. But I was working on the latest super secret project that I can't talk about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:53 PM

Forget the dejas vu--now we need some of vous! Back to the top, Mom! Everyone must have been out working in the yard today. They'll come dragging in soon, tired and sunburned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:21 AM

This is Dejå Moue all over again!! (That's when you make a face because you've heard this bull before more than once!)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:18 AM

You don't have one about the silent "p" in "swimming."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 21 May 05 - 10:08 PM

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

6. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

7. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

9. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

10 . I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

11 . A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

12 . I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

13 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14 . Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 05 - 05:20 PM

As long as it is sects composed of consenting adults, where's the harm?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:28 PM

It's like I've been saying. All this stuff about religion these days, the Religious Right, prayer in schools, the ten commandments in courthouses, all that stuff -- and I for one am gettin' sick of all this focus on nothin' but sects, sects, sects.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:55 AM

I bet they didn't read the entire thread, either. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:33 AM

I guess that those sorts are everywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:10 AM

Oh Please...
O O O O please, please baby will you get me down on my knees
O O O O baby please,
you gonna be the one to tell me how I am?...
O O O O please,
it's gonna a be a cold, colder day, when you want me to act your way,
O O O O please...
Live your life and I'll fuck with yoursssssssssssssss.............


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:35 PM

Or another type of blush (not one I bother with).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:35 PM

Deep blush.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 May 05 - 04:07 PM

*blush*

I try.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 05 - 04:01 PM

A number of true power, indeed! Oh, my, YES indeedy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 May 05 - 03:10 PM

7817!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 May 05 - 03:10 PM

A better choice would have been...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 May 05 - 03:08 PM

Ted - you are getting closer to the true spirit of calling posts but...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 05 - 02:43 PM

I am astounded to have discovered This Pie Chart on the Web! Sure, if you actually read the content of the website from which the pie chart was originally taken, you'll see that it purports to have something to do with a game based on an animated movie that sounds a lot like a bovine rip-off of Chicken Run. Hah! We're not that easily fooled! The pie chart is obviously a graphical representation of an extremely detailed study into the nature of BS as we know it!

You may find it helpful to open another browser window so you may refer to the pie chart while reading the following:

Please note the slice "M" being taken from the pie. Obviously a reference to our own dear MOAB. And the slices on the top are "B" and "S"! Do we need to state the obvious? Then we have slice "K", a blatant reference to Khing khandu of Mississippi. Then there's slice "A". Don't we have someone around here who signs his posts with an "A"?   Slice "D" is a pit problematic. I had first thought that it might be a reference to Rapaire's real surname but, upon further reflection, have decided it means "Dumbass", which is an apt blanket term for a number of MOABites including Tweed and yours truly.

To discover that a couple of soccer-moms have clandestinely undertaken such a detailed study of BS only underscores the vitally important stature that BS has assumed in our society. That they should have cloaked their studies under the guise of a children's game is another matter. I'm not at all certain what other matter it is, but you can bet your ass it's another one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:20 AM

My I, in all humility because I am a humble person, suggest an article which may be relevant?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:10 AM

•Whenever a spreader meets an ignorant, the ignorant becomes a spreader, while the original spreader continues spreading.

•When a spreader meets a stifler, the spreader becomes a stifler.

•In the case where two spreaders meet, the models differ. In the Daley-Kendall version, both spreaders become stiflers. The Maki-Thompson rules convert only one spreader into a stifler; the other continues spreading.

•All other interactions (ignorant-ignorant, ignorant-stifler, stifler-stifler) have no effect on either party.


These rules make no sense! I don't think they bear any resemblence to what actually occurs. Additionally There should be rules based on previous encounters - such as:

if the last interaction was ignorant/stifler and current encounter ignorant/spreader ignorant remains ignorant.

spreader/stifler both remain as is unless previous encounter was also with oppisete type.

spreader/spreader should result in two spreaders - not a spreader stifler pair and certainly not two stiflers!

things like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:57 AM

7810!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:46 AM

That seems to be a close approximation of the work done in the 1970s (and earlier) on information dissemination.

And why not? Information is does not differentiate between the truth or falsity of the content. Information, like Beauty, is its own excuse for being.

My current Gedankenexperiment is whether information must have any content at all. It would seem that it should, but recent examples out of Washington, DC, Los Angeles, and elsewhere suggest otherwise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:32 AM

it's no wonder the mangabeys are a rare species though - there aren't many 2400 meter trees around for them to inhabit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 05 - 02:15 AM

Mag:

My remark weas unseemly and I retract it with apogees. What it was was that I thought you weren't barking but bark-honking at Rapaire.

On to more serious stuff, here's an insight intot he way BS circulates among a population. You may wonder but it is just possible we are in the correct proportion to the Mudcat population!! It seems about right to me.

_____
The stochastic theory of rumours, with interacting subpopulations of ignorants, spreaders and stiflers, began with the seminal paper of Daley and Kendall. The most striking result in the area—that if there is one spreader initially, then the proportion of the population never to hear the rumour converges almost surely to a proportion 0.203188 of the population size as the latter tends to infinity—was first signalled in that article. This result occurs also in the variant stochastic model of Maki and Thompson, although a typographic error has resulted in the value 0.238 being cited in a number of consequent papers.

I was intrigued and a little puzzled to learn that a rumor would die out while "almost surely" leaving a fifth of the people untouched. Why wouldn't it reach everyone eventually? And that number 0.203188, with its formidable six decimal places of precision—where did that come from?

I read on far enough to get the details of the models. The premise, I discovered, is that rumor-mongering is fun only if you know the rumor and your audience doesn't; there's no thrill in passing on stale news. In terms of the three subpopulations, people remain spreaders of a rumor as long as they continue to meet ignorants who are eager to receive it; after that, the spreaders become stiflers, who still know the rumor but have lost interest in propagating it.

The Daley-Kendall and Maki-Thompson models simplify and formalize this social process. Both models assume a thoroughly mixed population, so that people encounter each other at random, with uniform probability. Another simplifying assumption is that people always meet two-by-two, never in larger groups. The pairwise interactions are governed by a rigid set of rules:

•Whenever a spreader meets an ignorant, the ignorant becomes a spreader, while the original spreader continues spreading.

•When a spreader meets a stifler, the spreader becomes a stifler.

•In the case where two spreaders meet, the models differ. In the Daley-Kendall version, both spreaders become stiflers. The Maki-Thompson rules convert only one spreader into a stifler; the other continues spreading.

•All other interactions (ignorant-ignorant, ignorant-stifler, stifler-stifler) have no effect on either party.

The rules begin to explain why rumors are self-limiting in these models. Initially, spreaders are recruited from the large reservoir of ignorants, and the rumor ripples through part of the population. But as the spreaders proliferate, they start running into one another and thereby become stiflers. Because the progression from ignorant to spreader to stifler is irreversible, it's clear the rumor must eventually die out, as all spreaders wind up as stiflers in the end. What's not so obvious is why the last spreader should disappear before the supply of ignorants is exhausted, or why the permanently clueless fraction is equal to 0.203188 of the original population.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 05 - 01:04 AM

Amos,

Why would you assume I'm that monkey? I'm much more than 3 feet tall, I've never been 37 feet tall, I don't have a dark hairy face and never had a monkey tail. I don't bark, though I did nip around Rapaire's ankles for a little while this afternoon.

I do have a dog who has been barking a lot this evening. Maybe she knows something about these monkeys that I don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 05 - 10:18 PM

Ralph's son is named Xavier.

I just thought you should know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 05 - 10:03 PM

Bunn:

Yeah? Where is it written that there's such a thing as...oh, well...yeah, fine, never mind!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 05 - 09:37 PM

Hi! I'm not Filmynecro Ted, but I do have brother named Ted. He even studied guitar and actually knows a G string from a virginal. He and I (and my other brother as well) all share two names out of three (excluding our surname, but if you include that it's three out of four).

Yes, I have a first name and two, count 'em! two!, middle names. So let's see:

Michael Anthony Ralph
Anthony Thomas Ralph
Theodore Ralph Anthony

who had a father named Ralph.

And then there's the next generation:

Ralph Paul (whose maternal grandfather was named...Paul)
Daniel Michael
Theodore Edward (whose initials spell "TED")
Anthony James

so at family gatherings we simply shout "Tony!" or "Ted!" and help of all sorts comes a-runnin'.

Now Daniel Michael attracts cars -- he's been hit three times in the last four years. Ralph Paul is an ex-Marine sentenced to live in Michigan with his wife and kid. Theodore Edward is 10 and living at home; Anthony James is in college starting on a career in either experimental or theoretical physics. Anyway, Ted Ed wants to get a doctorate in dinosaurs, his sister is working on a PhD in microbiology, another sister wants a DFA, and yet aother wants a DVM. Since Anthony James will need a PhD, I think that they should go into business together as Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor and Doctor, working in the theoretical veterinary art of microscopic physical dinosaurs, but nobody listens to me.

Daniel Michael wants to be a conservation officer so that he can get paid to go fishing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:43 PM

There is a such a thing as trying too hard, Amos.
At least it's not Flamenco ted swooping in...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:43 PM

Oh, woe on your pate, dear Buunahabain
You have stepped on the fun I was habain
And threw off my number
Like a reckless old bumber,
When will you stop misbehaibin?

Never mind -- you won it randomly fair and randomly square.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:37 PM

There once was a woman who trotted
Where the wide Western plains are besotted
With bison who thundered
(Oh! 7800)
And with droppings make the grasslands all spotted.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:37 PM

Only the adults are 3 ft tall. The young are start around 37 ft tall*, and take up to 90 years to shrink to become an adult. This remarkable life cycle has not been noticed, as the monkeys grab a handful of leaves whenever an inquisitive ape of another species goes past, and are so mistaken for a tree.
*No, the births are not difficult. The courtship riutal of the species has become rather elaborate, as the males must demonstrate an impressive abilty to hyper-inflate space-time. This is used to elongate the young from 3 inches, when born, to 37 feet ten seconds later. This ability is due to the specalised diet of the monkeys, containing a high proportion of a certain rare flower. Unfortunatly, when the paper is published with the exact species of flower, the 'herbal viagra' idustry will have a field day.

Full details of this astounding new theory to follow, when I have consulted Full with my collegues Ardbeg, Theobroma Cacao, and C. T. Oinons.


Bunnahabhain.

P.S.
I would not have posted this arcane research, except to reallow the possibility that maggie, may indeed, be a highland mangabey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:35 PM

There once was a lady from Paris
Who fell for a gent, name of Harris
She would wait in a line
(7799)
And cry out, "There is! It is Harris!"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:33 PM

There once was a lass out of Natchez,
Whose garments were always in patches
She would stand by the gate
(7798)
And wonder just where her thatch is.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 May 05 - 08:26 PM

Yes Amos I really gone and done it again allright. That was one strange piece! A close to your super string theory.
As for reading that marquee, that was funnier than quark trying to read it as fast as I could before it disappeared before mine own eyes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 05 - 07:53 PM

You sound like one of them mangabeys, Maggie! :D But I have heard you are over three feet tall.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 05 - 06:37 PM

You think that marquee is difficult to read? Just highlight text, control c, then control v in notepad. And there it is, if you don't want to let it run by for a few passes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 05 - 05:03 PM

Finally I have found a font, color, and display that is damned near impossible to read. Something to offend EVERYONE!!!

Yay for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 05 - 04:51 PM

Excuses, excuses! Tell 'em to wait a couple of minutes for their darned ol' budget hearing, you have to post BS to Mudcat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 19 May 05 - 04:45 PM

WASHINGTON, May 19 (Reuters) - Two separate teams of researchers working hundreds of miles apart have discovered a new species of monkey in Tanzania.


The highland mangabey is a medium-sized monkey, about 3 feet (90 cm) tall with a long tail, long brown fur, a black face, hands and feet.

Adults make a distinctive, loud, low-pitched "honk-bark" call. They live in mountainside trees at elevations of up to 8,000 feet (2,400 metres).



Emphasis added. I suspect the universe is dicking around with us for inventing Gluon. These things happen -- observation collapses and reifies a subset of a probability wave, producing the condesate known as real events. When you add BS to observation, the fermions and bosons get so confused they cross-reify as imaginary animals which have honk-bark or quark sounds. BS gives a whole new definition to the cliched notion of quantum entaglment, and, like entanglement, works flawlessly in total disregard of normal spatial dimensions.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 05 - 04:41 PM

Messed up librarians don’t do html. Or, more
to the point, messed up librarians might be
far to busy to do html for a “ñ” when said
messed-up librarian has a budget hearing
within ten minutes of posting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 19 May 05 - 04:25 PM

Most gentlemen are crucially aware when their tilde slips. The usual remedy is to replace and use shorter phonemes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 05 - 01:52 PM

True story:

I lived in Seattle in the mid-1970s and worked near the waterfront downtown. I rode the bus to within two blocks of my office building, and walked those two short blocks and crossed one big avenue. As I walked from the bus a woman several paces ahead of me was carrying a large tote over her right shoulder in such a way that with every step it was managing to hike her mid-thigh-length skirt higher in back, up her leg and up to her hip. All the world could see what was under her skirt, and as I hurried to catch up with her I watched the waiting traffic at the cross walk stare with wide-eyed interest at her display. I caught Tilde and simply said "your skirt is up to your waist!" and she hurridly moved the bag and fixed it, grateful for my intervention. The man in the car who was next to get a clear view was visibly angered that I mentioned Tilde's hip.

So, it depends on whose tilde it is that has slipped, as to whether it will get mentioned or not. But it seems good manners to say something. On the other hand, in grammar, if you know what they mean to say, and interrupting to point out a misplaced tilde is going to interrupt the conversation, then perhaps it is best left alone.

Since this was posted by a tech-savvy librarian who plays with html like it's his first language, catching him in goofed up html probably comes under the heading of "online sport."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,socially Inept
Date: 19 May 05 - 12:53 PM

Dear Miss Manners and/or Abby:

Is it couth to tell someone their tilde has slipped? Or to be polite should one just ignore it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 May 05 - 12:32 PM

Then put the tilde on TOP of the n, not beside it! ñ


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