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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Jeri 30 Oct 04 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 04 - 12:25 PM
Acme 30 Oct 04 - 12:25 PM
Acme 30 Oct 04 - 12:25 PM
Acme 30 Oct 04 - 12:26 PM
JennyO 30 Oct 04 - 12:26 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 04 - 12:26 PM
Jeri 30 Oct 04 - 12:28 PM
Acme 30 Oct 04 - 12:28 PM
JennyO 30 Oct 04 - 12:29 PM
JennyO 30 Oct 04 - 12:41 PM
Amos 30 Oct 04 - 12:45 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 04 - 03:11 PM
Acme 31 Oct 04 - 01:01 AM
Rustic Rebel 31 Oct 04 - 03:31 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 04 - 08:28 AM
Amos 31 Oct 04 - 08:51 AM
Rapparee 31 Oct 04 - 10:25 AM
Amos 31 Oct 04 - 10:32 AM
Acme 31 Oct 04 - 12:41 PM
Amos 31 Oct 04 - 02:03 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 04 - 08:43 PM
Amos 31 Oct 04 - 09:24 PM
Acme 31 Oct 04 - 10:17 PM
Amos 31 Oct 04 - 10:38 PM
Rustic Rebel 01 Nov 04 - 02:33 AM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 02:54 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 04 - 09:16 AM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 09:26 AM
Tweed 01 Nov 04 - 09:33 AM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 09:42 AM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 10:18 AM
Acme 01 Nov 04 - 10:34 AM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 10:36 AM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 10:49 AM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 10:53 AM
Acme 01 Nov 04 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 04 - 11:38 AM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 11:49 AM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 01 Nov 04 - 11:57 AM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 11:58 AM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 12:04 PM
Tweed 01 Nov 04 - 01:41 PM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 02:04 PM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 02:11 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 04 - 02:29 PM
MMario 01 Nov 04 - 02:49 PM
Amos 01 Nov 04 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 04 - 03:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:24 PM

Except perhaps "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General." Nah, if you cram enough words together, that works too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:25 PM

Found it! After all these years!

            The Curse of Doneraile.

Alas, how dismal is my tale,
I lost my watch in Doneraile.
My Dublin watch, my chain and seal,
Pilfered at once in Doneraile
May fire and brimstone never fail,
To fall in showers on Doneraile.
As lightening flashes across the vale,
So down to hell with Doneraile
The fate of Pompey at Pharsale,
Be that the curse of Doneraile.
May Beef or Mutton, Lamb or Veal,
Be never found in Doneraile.
But Garlic Soup and Scurvy Kale,
Be still the food of Doneraile.
May Heaven a chosen curse entail,
On rigid rotten Doneraile.
May Sun and Moon forever fail,
To beam their lights on Doneraile
May every pestilential gale,
Blast that cursed spot called Doneraile.
May not a Cuckoo, Thrush or Quail,
Be ever heard in Doneraile.
May Patriots, Kings and commonweal,
Despise and harrass Doneraile.
May every Post, Gazette and Mail,
Sad tidings bring to Doneraile.
May loudest thunders ring a Peal,
To blind and deafen Doneraile.
May vengeance fall at head and tail,
From north to south at Doneraile.
May profit light and tardy sale,
Still damp the trade of Doneraile.
May fame resound a dismal tale,
Whenever she lights at Doneraile.
May Egypt's plagues at once prevail,
To thin the knaves of Doneraile.
May frost and snow and sleet and hail,
Benumb each joint in Doneraile.
May wolves and bloodhounds trace and trail,
The cursed crew of Doneraile.
May Oscar with his fiery flail,
To Atoms thresh all Doneraile.
May every mischief fresh and stale,
Abide henceforth in Doneraile.
May all from Belfast to Kinsale,
Scoff, Curse and Damn you, Doneraile.
May neither flour nor oatenmeal,
Be found or known in Doneraile.
May want and woe each joy curtail,
That ever was known in Doneraile.
May no one coffin want a nail,
That wraps a rogue in Doneraile.
May all the thieves that rob and steal,
The gallows meet in Doneraile.
May all the sons of Granuaile,
Blush at the thieves of Doneraile.
May mischief big as Norway whale,
Overwhelm the knaves of Doneraile.
May curses wholesale and retail,
Pour with full force on Doneraile.
May every transport wont to sail,
A convict bring from Doneraile.
May every churn and milking pail,
Fall dry to stones in Doneraile.
May cold and hunger still congeal,
The stagnant blood of Doneraile.
May every hour new woes reveal,
That Hell reserves for Doneraile.
May every chosen ill prevail,
Over all the imps of Doneraile.
May no one wish or prayer avail,
To soothe the woes of Doneraile.
May the Inquisition straight impale,
The Rapparees of Doneraile.
May curse of Sodom now prevail,
And sink to ashes Doneraile.
May Charon's boat triumphant sail,
Completely manned from Doneraile.
Oh! may my couplets never fail,
To find new curse in Doneraile,
And may grim Pluto's inner jail,
Forever groan with Doneraile.

(I don't like that bit about the Rapparees, but then again, I'm originally from Illinois. And there is a retraction but it's not a good at this one.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:25 PM

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering,
       fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
    But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
    And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"-
                Merely this, and nothing more.

    Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
   Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
    "Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
    Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore-
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;-
                'Tis the wind and nothing more."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:25 PM

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and
       flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
    Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed
       he;
    But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door-
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door-
                Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

   Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
   "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no
       craven,
   Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore-
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:26 PM

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore;
    For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
    Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door-
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
                With such name as "Nevermore."

    But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
    Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered-
    Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown
       before-
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
                Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

    Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
    Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
    Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore-
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
                Of 'Never- nevermore'."

    But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and
       door;
    Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
    Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore-
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
                Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

    This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
    This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
    On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
                She shall press, ah, nevermore!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:26 PM

Like this one, sung LOUD!

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?
I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:26 PM

I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:28 PM

Rapaire, it's ok - you didn't. I think I did. Oops...;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:28 PM

Drat. Slow browsers. Here's the rest, for anyone who was actually following along:


    Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
    "Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee- by these angels he
       hath sent thee
    Respite- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

    "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!- prophet still, if bird or
       devil!-
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
    Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted-
    On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore-
Is there- is there balm in Gilead?- tell me- tell me, I implore!"
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

    "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil- prophet still, if bird or
       devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us- by that God we both adore-
    Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
    It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

    "Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked,
       upstarting-
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
    Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
    Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my
       door!"
               Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

    And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
    And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
    And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the
       floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
                Shall be lifted- nevermore!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:29 PM

Don't worry, you didn't (neither did I)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:41 PM

Ah well, there it went. Was it good for you?

Anyway, 5010 is a nice round-ish number.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 12:45 PM

Or a Modernized Version with New and Improved Curses (from a song challenge):

Flight Of The Chicken by Amos
(Tune: Nell Flaherty's Drake)

Oh, I'm called Missus Flight, which you ought to spell right, 
And I live North of London, out Finchingfield way, 
And I bought a pet hen we named Violet O' Glenn, 
For me daughter to have when she wanted to play. 

'Twas a Rhode Island Red with the prettiest head, 
I would give up my bed just to keep her around, 
So much we did love her, there was no-one above her, 
That we went and insured her for two million pounds. 

This chicken mavournin all heads soon was turning 
She took over the pub, sir, and half of the town 
Now I call down the curses on Flight, Collar and Burgess 
Or the erratic stranger who ran my bird down. 

The sweet little chick had a beak that was thick 
She was friends with the ducklings from the far side of town 
But thanks to vile Paviour there was no one could save her 
When some villain decided to take me chick down. 

May his laws never pass, may the frost nip his ass, 
In drastic depression may his businesses fail, 
May his drafts always bounce, may his cats never pounce, 
May the Council reject him and clap him in gaol! 

May busloads of trippers, with mama's and nippers, 
Come trample his dahlias , make his pacemaker click, 
May a foreclosure lease cause the rapid decease 
Of the monster who murdered my beautiful chick! 

May his pecker stay limp and his wife be a blimp 
And his son be a wimp with a cross-threaded dick 
May his Sundays be stormy and overdraft warnings 
Stack up on his doorstep in piles deep and thick. 

May the tourist-trade swells with their antiquéd bells 
Harass him to hell with a suit for lost trade 
May his house lose its power, his watch lose an hour,. 
His daughter her flower an' his soul lose its shade! 

May his landlord be snide, and likewise his bride 
And his best hand-grown roses blow up and away; 
May his checks be rejected, his phone disconnected 
And his dam'd PDA start to write en Francais 

May his groin spring a sprain, may his picnics all rain 
May his guilt like a lance burn a hole in his head 
May he spavine his back and be tortured and racked 
By hemorrhoid pain, as he lies in his bed 

May his friends borrow money, his jokes not be funny, 
HIs dog turn a traitor and leave him alone, 
May his appetite jade and his draperies fade, 
May his wife turn to ice and his mistress to stone! 

Now, I'm done with my cursin', for I'm not a hard person 
And I've always believed we should live and let live, 
And things are much brighter since the damned underwriter 
Agreed to the sum the insurance should give. 
So it's me and my Harry to the far Baleares, 
No more we will tarry in the cold and the fog 
And that hen-killing wank, well, I'll send him my thanks 
For getting us out of that Finchingfield bog! 


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 04 - 03:11 PM

I...I...I think the Earth moved. Or maybe it was gas. I dunno.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 01:01 AM

At least this major number happened during the day on a weekend when we weren't killing ourselves trying to log on from work or in the middle of the night.

AND SHATNER WAS NOWHERE IN SIGHT!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 03:31 AM

Oh faded memory of the great MOAB,what has become of you?
We wallow in a world of poems from here to Timbuktu.
To recall all the bullshit from the past,
is neither up to me or you,
but what I ask of you good folks now,
is to get up and pee in your shoe.


I said that too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 08:28 AM

Peeing in your shoes will keep your feet warm, but not for very long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 08:51 AM

Same is true of a wetsuit (peeing in one). I t makes the water more comfortable. :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 10:25 AM

I wet my suit once, back in the second grade. Couldn't hold it any longer, and Sister Torquemada of the Holy Inquisition wouldn't let me leave the room because she thought I was faking. Boy, did I fool her!

So yeah, I know about wet suits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 10:32 AM

That woman! She should be anointed for single-handedly setting the cause of Western Civilization back 100 years.

We should start a Retrograde of Civilization Hall of Fame and she can have a wax statue of hersef waving a ruler menacingly, right up there next to GWB and the Ayotollah Khomeine.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 12:41 PM

I had a first grade teacher, Miss Instebo, who would go in that collection. It took me a while to figure out how classes were really supposed to work after having her as my first teacher (they were experimenting in the Seattle schools and didn't do any kindergarten the year before, then "tracked" all of us to compare how we did. To start me out with a whacko teacher was not a great way to conduct that experiement!)

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 02:03 PM

Let it be written, let it be done. The Temple of the Golden Curve happens to have a spare exhibit hall which they are not using, and they have kindly offered to lend it us to establish the Retrograde of Civilization Hall of Fame, dedicated to preserving for public recognition the names and likenesses of those who have, through their actions or inactions, contributed to the degradation, retrogression, diminuition or trivialization of Western Civilization.

("Your Holiness, What is your opinion of Western Civilization?

"I think it would be an excellent idea.")

The RCHF is there for duly initialized and set into being in the long, beautiful and unblemished virtual corridors of Cyberspace with the Ruler-Waving Nun, George W. Bush, and the Ayatollah Khomeini as its first three exhibuts.

Welcome.

Please do not fondle or strike the exhibits.

Please keep small children close for comfort, as these exhibits can be unsettling.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 08:43 PM

As one born and raised Roman Catholic, I'd like to nominate every Pope elected in the 20th Century EXCEPT John XXIII.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 09:24 PM

Excellent suggestion! The Executive Board of the RCHF has met in conference and acted on your proposal by establishing Popery Row, the long corridor of exhibits just off the entrance to your right.

The wax likenesses of each Pope except John XXIII are being formed by our brilliant stable of fine sculptors and makeup artists even as we speak. Anyone chargeable with Blatant Popery, Dopey Popery, Pope-on-a-Ropery, Dopery Popery on the high Seas, Papal Staplery, or similar offenses is eligible to fill the corridor in keeping with its theme.

Should any Protestant candidates be found they will have to take the corridor to the left.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 10:17 PM

Did you hear that they have located Martin Luther's loo? Where he got some of his best ideas, and probably even wrote a few down while he was in there. They say on the radio that this will be off of the tour route at his home, but perhaps a replica could be placed in your protestant section?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 04 - 10:38 PM

5250!! What a fdine firm round and fully packed number!

Yes, SRS, but MLK's loo doesn't fit the criteria -- it has indirectly sponsored osme of our civilizations finest rhetoric!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 02:33 AM

Let me get this straight Amos, Your milking a youth from a civilization, that was unheard of until now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 02:54 AM

Oh!! I missed that it was Martin LUTHER!! I was thinking Martin Luther King. I will definitely reconsider. Discuss: Was Protestantism a Contribution to Western Civilization? Defend your answer.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 09:16 AM

Yeh, it was. And if you don't like it, step outside and I'll stomp your ever-lovin' ass so deep into the asphalt you'll need a ladder to wake up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 09:26 AM

excellant reason!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 09:33 AM

POMES AND CHURCH IN HOLY MOAB?
I am rath wif scorn and apoplectric in dismy at the sorry condition and disrection obv the Thread that will not die! I am sartian now, that a movement is a afloot to disimpair the Mother obv all Bullshit and turn it into a informatibve area. A place to find show tune lykrics while goorgling on the internest.
I am learned thet Khing Khnadgumz lies in a state obv pronounced psychosis due to this latest attack on the Thread that will not Die and gibberz in unknown eldritch tongs all throw the long magnolia nites! May God habv mercy on us all....

Tweed
K.O.T.R.O.T. & J.A.A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 09:42 AM

POMES in MOAB? well - apples are POMES - and well, apples are associated with a certain serpent - which is also known as the 'Father of Lies' - and lies are a form of BS - so POMES is probably appropriate to MOAB.

MAYBE

Your Mileage May Vary


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 10:18 AM

Actually apples are Pommes. But what's a consonant between friends?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 10:34 AM

Amos, since ML was opposed to what the popes were saying and doing, and since he salted his writing with very earthy ideas and was quite anal-retentive, perhaps the loo at the entrance to the popery row and an suitably worded sentiment would suffice?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 10:36 AM

Amos? 2...3...4...


In other news...

Khandu move over - new royalty! Birthday thread reveals Uncle DaveO is actually King of Austria!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 10:49 AM

AHem....the problem is,, MMario, dear friend, that you arespeaking punctilious rigorously analytical (not to say ANAL) scientific English, while I, poor lad that I am, am speaking only in adequate French.

But you have solved a mystery for me for which I am grateful, I guess, as to where the Fr. "pommes" came from.

Pome is probably Latin. Nu?

It is so difficult keeping up with everything when you don't live in a library!!

SRS, I think it would be a fine idea to have Martin Luther's Loo guard the entrance to Popery Row, and a sort of poetic justice. Sort of ironic. We could have a little Musak playing down the hall to keep the kids quiet -- "Loo, loo, skip to my loo, skip to my loo, my darling....". Amazing what love will do, innit?

Great plan!! Thanks!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 10:53 AM

that explains the confusion - as I speak inadaquate french - a totally different dialect from adaquate french.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 11:08 AM

Amos is confusing his apples and potatoes. Pommes de terre (apples of the earth) or Pommes Frit (fried potatoes, which works out fried apples of the earth) are not the same as the pome, not to be confused with a drupe or a berry or a nut. . .

An exerpt from the Robert Service poem, Babette (so I can include poetry and BS at the same time):

The poor little supper she offers
Is more than a banquet to me;
A different bif-tik she proffers,
Pommes frit and a morsel of Brie;
We finish with coffee and kisses,
Then sit on the sofa and pet . . .
At the Embassy Mumm never misses,
But pinard's my drink with Babette.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 11:38 AM

My inadequate memory of small Latin and less Greek reminds me that "apple" in Latin is "malus" -- as in "Ab malus ad ovo" ("From apples to eggs," or as we would say, "From soup to nuts"). "Malic acid" is derived from this, as it is the acid made from apples just as formic acid is made from ants (formus = ant).

I do seem to live in a library....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 11:49 AM

Main Entry: pome
Pronunciation: 'pOm
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French pome, pomme apple, pome, ball, ultimately from Late Latin pomum
: a fleshy fruit (as an apple or pear) consisting of an outer thickened fleshy layer and a central core with usually five seeds enclosed in a capsule


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 11:50 AM

POME (AMerican Heritage Dictionary)

NOUN: A fleshy fruit, such as an apple, pear, or quince, having several seed chambers and an outer fleshy part largely derived from the hypanthium. Also called false fruit.

ETYMOLOGY: Middle English, from Old French, apple, fruit, from Vulgar Latin *pma, from neuter pl. of Late Latin pmum, from Latin, fruit.

I think I have been vindicated in my suspicion.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 11:57 AM

Good Sirs, I did not study degenerate "Late Latin" but the pure, Classical language of Caesar and Cicero, of Seneca and Terence. Oh, yes, I have dabbled in the bastardy of "Church" or "Ecclesiastical" Latin, but I much prefer to leave the memory of such misspent hours buried with other such debris.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 11:58 AM

Geeze,man, get a grip!! The prvenance is not different because it comes from BOTH Late and Classic Latin, but because it is the word for "fruit" not "apple".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 12:04 PM

The Seneca Indians spoke Latin?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 01:41 PM

Good News from Mzippi. Khning Khrapshoot is recovered form his malfeasense and it is said to be due to the abut-face here in MOAB. After chasteming my fellow moabits regarding the sepamation obv church, show tunes and BS, the resploss wabz obverwhelmage and true BS havs come back to the foreskin oncet againe! The khning sends hibz thanks and will award you all wif titles obv some sort when his faculties are back to normalment.

And Amos said:
Geeze,man, get a grip!! The prvenance is not different...

Wonderful, just wonderful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 02:04 PM

I object! The seperation of showtunes and BS is fundamentally impossible! Most showtunes ARE BS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 02:11 PM

But not all BS is made into showtunes. It's like cows and McDOnalds, if you see what I mean.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 02:29 PM

No, I don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 02:49 PM

well - cows sh*t into straw - which is primarily cellulose - which is what most McDonalds burgers appear to be made of (by taste if nothing else) - but not all sh*t and straw are made into mcdonalds burgers.

so some showtunes are bs but not all bs is showtunes - or something along those lines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 03:30 PM

Some cows becvome Mc Donald's burgers; all Mc Donald's burgers come from cows. But not all cows become McDonald's burgers.

Thus "If M then C" is true but "If C then M" is not necessarily true.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 03:35 PM

McDonald's burgers are made from cow meat? Boy, you coulda fooled me!


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