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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Amos 16 Feb 05 - 10:23 AM
Layah 16 Feb 05 - 10:28 AM
GUEST,MMario 16 Feb 05 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 16 Feb 05 - 10:59 AM
Layah 16 Feb 05 - 11:03 AM
Bunnahabhain 16 Feb 05 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 05 - 01:00 PM
Layah 16 Feb 05 - 01:30 PM
Acme 16 Feb 05 - 01:36 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 05 - 03:17 PM
GUEST,MMario 16 Feb 05 - 03:20 PM
GUEST 16 Feb 05 - 03:26 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 05 - 03:59 PM
Bunnahabhain 16 Feb 05 - 04:38 PM
Layah 16 Feb 05 - 04:46 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 05 - 06:31 PM
Layah 16 Feb 05 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 05 - 07:35 PM
Layah 16 Feb 05 - 07:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 05 - 08:23 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 05 - 09:25 PM
Teresa 16 Feb 05 - 09:34 PM
Teresa 16 Feb 05 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 05 - 09:43 PM
Amos 17 Feb 05 - 12:10 AM
Acme 17 Feb 05 - 12:19 AM
Amos 17 Feb 05 - 12:30 AM
Teresa 17 Feb 05 - 03:31 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 17 Feb 05 - 09:02 AM
GUEST,MMario 17 Feb 05 - 09:23 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 17 Feb 05 - 09:54 AM
GUEST,Amos 17 Feb 05 - 10:04 AM
GUEST,Bunnahabhain 17 Feb 05 - 10:05 AM
GUEST,MMario 17 Feb 05 - 10:06 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 17 Feb 05 - 11:03 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 17 Feb 05 - 11:26 AM
Acme 17 Feb 05 - 02:09 PM
GUEST,MMario 17 Feb 05 - 02:15 PM
Amos 17 Feb 05 - 02:49 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 05 - 05:05 PM
Acme 17 Feb 05 - 05:13 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 05 - 06:25 PM
Amos 17 Feb 05 - 09:52 PM
Acme 17 Feb 05 - 09:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Feb 05 - 12:19 AM
Acme 18 Feb 05 - 01:43 AM
Acme 18 Feb 05 - 01:45 AM
Acme 18 Feb 05 - 01:47 AM
Acme 18 Feb 05 - 01:49 AM
Acme 18 Feb 05 - 01:49 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 10:23 AM

I gave up all those lethal and self-inflicting highjinks when I reached physical maturity, a few weeks ago. Since that time I have been in many tricky situations but have never been scathed.

I've been scared shitless a few times, but never scathed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 10:28 AM

For a while I took to lighting things on fire as a pastime. Whatever happened to be in my pockets or laying around. For some reason people around me tended to get very upset and take all flamable materials away from me. But there's always more flamable materials somewhere. It's amazing how many things you can get to light on fire or at least melt when fire is applied to it for an extended period of time. But I'm beyond all that now (or I lost my lighter).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 10:56 AM

the parents are off gallivanting again - they are on Tahiti at the moment - about to take off on the second leg of their Pacific cruise (really - four cruises done consecutively)

Dad lucks out - as they cross the international dateline sometime early the 21st. If it were a day later he would miss his birthday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 10:59 AM

If you have a cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup you can melt holes in the cup with a cigarette and create your own dribble glass. From an experiment conducted in my college student union on this subject I (as the impartial observer) can report with certainty that you cannot cannot either drink the coffee fast enough or tip the cup far enough that the coffee runs over the holes without first running out into your lap. No quatity of beer can be consumed that changes this, either.

You can also make your very own little glob of napalm (no, I will NOT tell you how to do so!) and smear it on the bottom of an ashtray so that when someone stubs out a cigarette...never mind. This can lead to bloody noses or at least nasty name calling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 11:03 AM

I found that melting artificial sugar makes a very good glue. Take a spoon at a restaurant, and empty a packet of some fake sugar in it (might work with real sugar too, I never tried). Then put another spoon on top of it, and hold a lighter underneat. After it cools down you can't get the spoons apart. I took pity on the restaurant staff and got it hot again to take them apart. Don't know how they managed to get the gunk off the spoons though. If it does work with real sugar that would be kinder since I know that will come off if you soak it in water for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 12:59 PM

Napalm is simply Jellied petroleum. Dissolving polystrene in petrol will make something resembelng it. I can't believe that trick would work, as the smell of petrol would be a giveaway. And rather dangerous to other people.

Really think about what you're doing before you use this concoction.


Stupid things that endanger you are fine, but involving others is trouble...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 01:00 PM

It didn't happen to me, but when I was overseas I often heard a magical spell similar to this"

"OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! OHDEARGODDON'TLETITBECLAPI'MDUETOROTATEHOMEINAWEEK!!!!!!!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 01:30 PM

I was occasionaly vaguely disapointed that I'm not stupid enough to do anything truly dangerous. You may die sooner, but you worry less beforehand, and possibly get to have more fun. I never got the hang of ignoring that self-preservation instinct.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 01:36 PM

That one would serve the "injured" party about right, wouldn't it? Except for the innocent spouse at home, that is.

We did a science fair experiment this winter that involved burning peanuts. It took them a little while to ignite, but once those puppies were burning they were hot! And the sticky greasy black tar they left behind was a sight to behold.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 03:17 PM

You can also burn cashews. Put a regular cashew (not dry roasted!) on top of bananna and light the cashew. Kids love it for parties.

Actually, I always thought that it DID serve the fools right, especially since it meant being held over for a month while the medics cured you. (And for those who truly annoyed them, the medics had a special treat: a test tube of virulent, but dead, syphillis culture. Your "going home" blood test is drawn, a little bit of the culture is put on the end of a toothpick and the toothpick swirled in the blood, the test comes back positive.... But you had to REALLY be obnoxious for this to happen. Me, I got along with the medics.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 03:20 PM

burning sugar in chemistry class was always fun - especially the shapes it would take as it bubbled out of the beakers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 03:26 PM

6363


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 03:59 PM

...is mine! Ha hahahahahaha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 04:38 PM

Well, it's better than chasing double zeros, although we ought to check if it is flamenco ted, in a mature disguise...

Flamenco! The true path!

Lets us what happens.

Bunnahbahin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 04:46 PM

I have created a theory of spontaneous chocolate generation! Haven't you ever wondered where chocolate comes from (before it gets to the store I mean)? Well now I know. It comes from white shirts. If I wear a white shirt, it is bound to get a chocolate stain on it, regardless of if I ate or got within ten feet of any chocolate! I now realize that I can no longer in good conscience wash my white shirts. Think of all the baby chocolates I'm killing. I'm hoping that if I leave my white shirts in a heap, maybe add in some peanuts or something as incentive, maybe I'll come out with chocolate bars. Never again do I have to buy chocolate. I just need to buy more white shirts (I avoid them because they always get chocolate stains).

I have heard that there is a similar process that happens with spagetti sauce, but I have not personally experienced this. If my white shirts start producing chocolate flavored spagetti sauce, or spagetti flavored chocolate I might be a bit disapointed.

I also have a theory about my name. It is so incredibly cool, that people just can't stand to look at it, and that's why they invariably mispronounce it. Most often it comes out Laylah (which more than a few people in this forum have called me), which I blame on some song with that name in it. So I should no longer be upset that people constantly mispell and mispronounce my name, because it is just proof of it's absolute coolness. Bow down before my name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 06:31 PM

Sorry, but GUBS says you are only partially correct.

Chocolate stains do not appear from chocolate. They already exist in the material in partial chocolateness, much like an ovum exists as half a critter of some sort. When you come into proximity with fully developed chocolate (post-puberty chocolate, so to speak) you bring the ovum into contact with a spermatoza and the result appears on your white shirt -- baby chocolate.

All should be clear now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 07:13 PM

Since the chocolate stains already exist in the shirt, could I preemptively bleach them to death before they have the chance to come into contact with mature chocolate? Does GUBS have anything to say about my name? If I threw some mature chocolate onto my pile of white shirts, would I then be able to raise chocolate bars? Sounds like a good way to make a living. Or at least to make me really fat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 07:35 PM

Yes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 07:36 PM

Is that a yes to all three questions? If so, what does GUBS say about my name? If not, which question were you answering?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 08:23 PM

Hi, Mom! I'm back. My telephone line was dead. But it's alive now.

I would like to briefly return to the subject of verbing, if I may.

I endure most verbing stoically, but there's one word that really gets under my skin. I'm referring to "gifting". Why did some damned fool thing it was necessary to make "gift" into a verb when there's already a perfectly good verb, "give", that means the same thing and does the job quite well? When a gift is gifted should we say we are happy to have receipted it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 09:25 PM

Bee-dubya, I agree with you and I gift you with my agreement.

Layah, the problem that people experience with your name is called "entanglement" and GUBS says this:

The entanglement of formation is one of the standard measures of entanglement. It is defined, for any density operator \rho on a bipartite system, as

E F(\rho)= inf { \sumi ri S(\rhoi|A) \Big|\, \sumi ri \rhoi = \rho },
where S(.) denotes the von Neumann entropy and \rho|A denotes the restriction of a density operator \rho to the "Alice'' subsystem (partial trace over the other subsystem), the \rhoi are density operators and the ri are positive, adding up to one. Since S is concave, the infimum is attained at a convex decomposition of \rho into pure states, and the definition is often given as this restricted infimum.

Consider now a pair \rho(i), i=1,2 of bipartite density operators, and their tensor product \rho=\rho(1)\otimes\rho(2), which lives on a tensor product of four Hilbert spaces, but can be considered as a bipartite state when the two Alice subsepaces and the two Bob subspaces are grouped together. Then it is easy to show (by plugging the tensor product of the optimal decompositions of the factors into the variational expression and using the additivity of the entropy) that E F(\rho) <= E F(\rho(1)) + E F(\rho(2)).


I'm certain that you will agree that that clears your name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 09:34 PM

Any time chocolate and white cloth are within five feet of each other, there is a force that no one likes to talk about, which attracts the one to the other.

Alas, one of the two solutions to this problem I know of is not to eat chocolate.

Since I am not going to take that route, I have avoided wearing white instead. :)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 09:36 PM

I forgot to say:

Chocolate: the true path!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 09:43 PM

GUBS answers all questions
And questions all answers
You must grow The All.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 12:10 AM

Subject: "The Mother is Back!"

Announcing "DayThink" Audio Features


Dave,

I'm pleased to announce "DayThink" -- a new series of very brief
(one-minute) MP3 audio features illuminating a wide range of
relevant and important topics. Each day's feature will focus on one
specific issue affecting our lives -- issues definitely worth
thinking about. Many of these segments will deal directly with the
impacts of technology on individuals and society.

DayThink features can be accessed via the DayThink main page at:

   http://daythink.vortex.com


The debut segment is titled:

"The Mother is Back!"

and looks at the current round of telecom mergers and what they
may mean for us all.

A notification mailing list has been established that will send
out a brief message to subscribers as each new feature becomes
available (never more than one per day), including the segment
title, a brief description, and a link to the feature audio itself
that can be played at one's leisure.

Subscriptions to that list can be established via:

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I hope that these features will be of some value in helping folks
wade through the maze of many important issues.

Thanks very much.

--Lauren--
Lauren Weinstein


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 12:19 AM

One a day of those little puffs of pithless information and most of the regulars on the MOAB would very quickly starve to death.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 12:30 AM

Gee, Stilly, weren'tcha even impressed even a little? Dang!! I thought you'd be impressed for sure!! Darn it....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 03:31 AM

The Mother is Back? Heeheehee!

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 09:02 AM

Mother went away??? I didn't know. Did we have a party when Mom returned? Why wasn't I invited? I would have brought ice cream and cake and a present and everything. Well, phooey on all of YOU! I'll go to Shelley and be mean to the System Administrator, that's what I'll do, and I'll be mean to all sorts of people, like the director of the IFPL and other library directors and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT because you had a "Welcome Back" party for Mother and didn't invite me and you're all a bunch of big mean POOPHEADS!!

So there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 09:23 AM

moornin' mom. I bet you wish you were with my folks. Today they are at rngiroa lagoon - then they will be taking a tour of Tikehau Atoll - and at 4 pm they depart for Raiatea in the Society Islands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 09:54 AM

You'd think that for all the money Mmario's parents paid for that cruise the ship could stop at a few places a person could pronounce.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 10:04 AM

Dunno who that Guest Rapaire is but I like the reg'lr one better.

Say, who is gonna tell him there weren't no party...I sure don't wanna be around.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bunnahabhain
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 10:05 AM

According to basic physics, we cannot know both the momentum and position of an object with total acccuracy.
This being mudcat, we can arbitrarly redefine h as we see fit, in this case to a much larger number.

Momentum: mass X velocity.

Mass: About Six thousand, Three hundred and can't remember posts.

Velocity: Nowhere fast.

These therefore confine the uncertainty in position to over 20, 000 km, which means MOAB can be at all points on earth at the same time, including with MMarios folks in the South Pacific.

I will leave it as an exercise to the reader to deteimine a consistent set of values for velocity, post mass, and Mudcat h...

Bunnahabhain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 10:06 AM

b-W - knowing my mom - they probably got some major discounts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 11:03 AM

Major discounts because all the stops are unpronouncable? Makes sense.

I can see the poster in the travel agent's office now:

Why spend $10,000 to visit Tahiti, Fiji or Pago Pago when you can go to a whole buncha places you can't pronounce for only $995?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 11:26 AM

Mmario, I'm very happy to hear that you know your mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 02:09 PM

Hmmmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 02:15 PM

What is that proverb? It's a wise man that knows his own mother? In that case I must be the exception that proves the rule.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 02:49 PM

Well, it is understandable. They go back a long way together and were once very close.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 05:05 PM

Me and my mother went back a ways too. But we had a big falling out a few years back, and after a lot of harsh words and such...well, to make a long story short, I no longer have a navel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 05:13 PM

Your picture is turned to the wall, eh?

Oh we never speak of Aunt Clara. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 06:25 PM

No, I've just completely rejected my mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 09:52 PM

Have you told her yet, buddy?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 09:57 PM

[Non-BS momentary pause in the thread]

That sounds like something that may need airing--but elsewhere. PM this sympathetic ear if needed.

[Okay. Back to the BS portion of the MOAB]

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 12:19 AM

I get along okay with my mother, but I've completely rejected my children's mother. Does that count?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 01:43 AM

Well, it doesn't necessarily make you a NoAccount, depending on the circumstances. Rather than risk sinking the MOAB under some heavy material at this juncture, maybe a quick funny story about each of our mothers would be a safe segue into green BS pastures.

My mother, for example, liked to cook, but as we got older and everyone was in a hurry, and as she was a working single mother, she didn't get much chance to try out new stuff. One time she decided it was time to try something new on the four of us, and picked up some recipes at the County Ag Extension Agent's office. Two were particularly memorable. Liver and Kidney Teriyake. Think about it. Diced brown gland meat in a brown sauce, the look and consistency of canned dog food. We renamed it Liver and Kidney Hare Kari, and she never made it again. Then there was the abomination of all desserts, a recipe came in an "enough to feed a small private army" quantity that it didn't occur to her to reduce. It was grape tapioca pudding. It seemed to bubble up in the pan to fill the entire kitchen before it was finished, and it looked like some demented wallpaper paste. I like my pudding simple and subtle, and I love vanilla, so this concord grape stuff was, well, almost indescribable, so I won't try.

To move to my generation of cooking, I think my "burned potatoes in the pressure cooker" will be one of those cooking diasters my kids will remember. Jeez, but do they smell bad! Too bad mom isn't around, or she'd have gotten a charge out of that story. (She came to the rescue for friends and family several times with her pressure cookery talents.)

Or is cooking a safe subject when discussing one's mother (or ex-mother of one's children)? What do you say, MOM (MOAB)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 01:45 AM

Here is "authentic" teriyake sauce at a British site. Hmmm. I hope it isn't in Hull.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 01:47 AM

Here are some yogurt recipes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 01:49 AM

6400


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 01:49 AM

Here are some bean recipes.


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