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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 21 Dec 05 - 11:08 PM
Acme 22 Dec 05 - 09:30 AM
Amos 22 Dec 05 - 10:02 AM
MMario 22 Dec 05 - 10:12 AM
John MacKenzie 22 Dec 05 - 10:12 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 22 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM
Amos 22 Dec 05 - 11:54 AM
Acme 22 Dec 05 - 02:17 PM
Rapparee 22 Dec 05 - 04:28 PM
GUEST,Bunahabhain 23 Dec 05 - 04:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 05 - 06:03 PM
Amos 23 Dec 05 - 08:06 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 05 - 08:34 PM
Acme 24 Dec 05 - 12:12 PM
Amos 24 Dec 05 - 12:56 PM
Rapparee 24 Dec 05 - 06:39 PM
Acme 26 Dec 05 - 11:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Dec 05 - 11:28 AM
Amos 26 Dec 05 - 11:58 AM
Acme 26 Dec 05 - 12:50 PM
Amos 26 Dec 05 - 12:53 PM
Acme 26 Dec 05 - 02:54 PM
Acme 26 Dec 05 - 09:36 PM
Amos 26 Dec 05 - 10:57 PM
Amos 27 Dec 05 - 09:47 AM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 12:12 AM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 12:45 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Dec 05 - 01:12 AM
Rapparee 28 Dec 05 - 11:00 AM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 11:19 AM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 12:35 PM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 01:33 PM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 05:48 PM
Little Hawk 28 Dec 05 - 06:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Dec 05 - 06:15 PM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 06:47 PM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 07:49 PM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 08:02 PM
Acme 28 Dec 05 - 08:12 PM
Amos 28 Dec 05 - 10:08 PM
Acme 29 Dec 05 - 12:54 AM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 08:15 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 09:32 AM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 09:39 AM
MMario 29 Dec 05 - 09:44 AM
Acme 29 Dec 05 - 10:39 AM
Acme 29 Dec 05 - 11:05 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 02:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 05 - 11:08 PM

The nearest zoo was hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of miles away from where I grew up. Our town was so poor that we couldn't even afford to have the Republicans put up a sign, much less have a REAL elephant. We'd heard stories of course, but the best we could do was to go out of town and see a drunken cow or something. Even if there had been a zoo with a drunken elephant my family couldn't have afforded the entrance fee. But that was okay, because any time we wanted to see a wild animal we only had to look out and watch the wolf at our door. Finally, there was nothing left in the house to eat and no money to buy food with, so we ate the wolf. Then we didn't have anything to see when we looked outside. Just the piles of rubbish and trash, because we could only afford to live in the city dump.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 09:30 AM

When the elderberry go from ripe to rotten in the Pacific Northwest there is a stage in between when fermentation has taken place. Kind of like when you forget and leave the uneaten portion of your lunch in the truck overnight and the grapes ferment in their baggie, right before they turn to vinegar. The birds would eat the elderberries and get looped, and black bears have been known to overindulge in the fruit and stagger around.

I haven't seen this personally, it could be folklore, but then, bears are a lot smaller than elephants and it would take a lot less fermented fruit to make them fruit loops, wouldn't it? It is plausible.

And the saga continues. The dog that got the cat two days ago made a break for it last night (why doesn't she make a hole under the fence during the daylight when I can find her more easily?). I took the second dog along and stuffed a pocket full of dog snacks and then brush-bashed up the creek bank through several neighbors' back yards. Lots of greenbriar out there. We followed Cinnamon as she darted around out of reach, and finally realized that she was just sharing the adventure with us as we tagged along. I turned toward home, and pointedly had Poppy sit and receive a couple of treats, and Cinnamon (after bashing through the muddy creek so she's kind of messy today) came along and let me put the leash on her and we came home. I piled rocks up against the last patch over the hole in the fence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 10:02 AM

LONDON: Men who want to carve up the dancefloor should take a good look at their bodies before launching into a waltz or foxtrot in the hope of impressing a woman.

Scientists have discovered that the best male dancers tend to have more symmetrical body features, in a study that suggests dancing ability may be sexually appealing because it conveys useful information about a man's physical fitness.

Many species, including humans, are known to prefer mates with symmetrical features, which are thought to show good health, sound genes and a lack of parasites, all of which may enhance reproductive success.

The research indicates dancing ability could be another signal of these traits, helping people, particularly women, to choose an appropriate mate.




SRS, this could be important.

:D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 10:12 AM

aha! So my ability to not dance is genetically determined - since my ears are at different levels, my arms different lengths and my leg different lengths as well.

Good to have a legitimate excuse!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 10:12 AM

Dancing....The vertical expression of a horizontal desire.    GBS

We have lots of Rhododendrons, and when they are in flower the bees go mad for their nectar, but it makes them woozy, and they end up lying on their backs below the bush for a while, till they get their furry little heads straight.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 11:46 AM

A beachball is almost perfectly symmetrical. Does that mean that a man whose physical appearance most closely resembles that of a beachball is highly desirable to women?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM

So is a beer keg.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 11:54 AM

I think they meant East-West or Left-Right symmetry, BWL -- not North-South or Top-Bottom, like yours.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 02:17 PM

Be Careful What You Wish For--You Might Just Get It.

So, this morning I'm complaining about the dog's nocturnal breakouts, and concluded "why can't she do it in the daytime, when she's easier to find?"

Yup. She did it again. This morning I found her in the next door neighbor's back yard, but she outsmarted herself, because they have a nice solid wrought iron fence in concrete footings all around their yard except on the common side where my chain link fence is between us. She couldn't get back, but she couldn't get out to anyplace else either. I examined the fence line very closely and concluded that this terrier climbed a tree and went over the top (some low stobs on a hackberry along the fence acted like steps). I have now chopped and sawed those branches and any others that might remotely support her from the fence line.

She is such a nice dog, but she's beginning to get annoying.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 05 - 04:28 PM

A low electric fence. Or one of those wireless ones. Or, you may just have to tie her when she's outside. Folks used to use a line stretched between two poles and clip a leash on it, allowing the dog to run but not far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bunahabhain
Date: 23 Dec 05 - 04:53 PM

Where is everybody? I go away for a few dyas, and Moab slips off the board!!!

I'll be away for another two weeks, with little acess to a computer, and a dog who is more than slightly mad. She's been chasing squirrils up trees all day. determination and a run-up get her about 5 foot up, then gravity kicks in....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 05 - 06:03 PM

I have discovered a sadistic streak within myself! If you've spent any time at all wrapping Christmas presents you know that some wrapping papers are printed so that the designs repeat themselves every so often. You also know that this feature helps you cut the paper more straightly. If you start your cut at, say, the picture of a star on a Christmas tree, you aim your cut for the next star.

Well, I've discovered that I particularly enjoy starting cuts so that I can cut off Rudolph's red nose, Frosty's carrot nose or Santa's beard. I particularly like cutting the legs from the three wise men's camels, and slashing the little drummer boy's drum thrills me to no end.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 05 - 08:06 PM

Owing to the gradual slowing down of the Earth's rotation, the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service, based at the Paris Observatory, has announced that 2005 will contain an extra second.


The required leap second will be added at the end of 31st December, thus delaying the arrival of 2006 by one second. Although this will be the 23rd such leap second to be added since its introduction at the end of June 1972, this year's leap second will be the first for seven years.

I think this must be the Republicans up their tricks again,....

It is also public knowledge that two new rings have been found around Uranus, but I am leaving that one alone...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 05 - 08:34 PM

Rings around Uranus! Rings around Uranus!

I'm in DC. Rings around Uranus!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 12:12 PM

Ah! Two friends in D.C., but they don't know each other so I didn't bother to try to point them at each other. But I'll sit here in Texas and hope that they will each go out with their loved ones for a nice meal in the same fine restaurant ("fine" is not to be confused with "expensive") and perhaps their eyes will meet across the room and they'll smile their pleasure. . .

Have a good stay there, Rap!

Me, I wasn't online yesterday much but Mom understands--I was busy finishing shopping with the kids (their gifts to their father and for each other) and then we returned home to fix dinner for friends who came over in the late afternoon. We roasted two chickens and warmed bread sticks (okay, they came from the store, but they are great with extra garlic powder and dipped in marinara sauce) and tossed a Cesare salad and a friend brought her great green beans (bacon and onions added) and a multi-grain rice based dish, and we topped it off with herbal tea and christmas cookies.

You know it's one of those low-pressure great get-togethers when you can run a holiday movie in the background, and every so often the conversation stops and someone says "this is my favorite part" as Santa nudges the child down the chute, everyone laughs at the scene, then, because we've all seen the movie many times, we go back to talking.

The cat and dog are both feeling better, the weather is STILL warm and dry. It doesn't really feel like christmas outside, but indoors it is shaping up. No tree this year (no room and no money) but we've set up a christmas train on a large drop-leaf table and will put gifts in the center area and let our main engineer (my 13-year-old) keep the thing on the tracks. (It's an inexpensive made-in-China holiday train, not Lionel as has been discussed by MOABites elsewhere).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 12:56 PM

It doesn't have to be Lionel to be a train, I guess, anymore than you have to call them "Bernadette" to make them be figure skates.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 05 - 06:39 PM

I called my skates instruments of destruction.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Also Blessed Hanukkah, Cool Jul, Happy Kwanza, Joyous Rebirth of the Sun, Swingin' Solstice, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 11:16 AM

Hey Mom! You're back!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 11:28 AM

Hi Mom! I didn't get a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas again. That makes fifty-three Christmases in a row with no Red Rider BB gun. However, this is not a source of major disappointment as I've never really wanted a Red Rider BB gun in the first place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 11:58 AM

What a loverly Xmas this has been; just the three of us having a loverly time with friends and wee gifts and some good sherry and each other. Yayhoo.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 12:50 PM

A menage a trois, Amos? You and Sherry and who else?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 12:53 PM

Although the sherry was good, it never incarnated -- it was me and Barky and BBW.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 02:54 PM

Not necessarily, but they both probably enjoy the process that results in inflating. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 09:36 PM

Well that was a non-sequitur. Seems I read the page backwards and was reading BWL's last post then stuck my answer down here four days later. [sigh]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 05 - 10:57 PM

I am greatly relieved; I couldn't make sense of your post and was wondering what I was missing!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 05 - 09:47 AM

"So many people today—and even professional scientists—seem to me like someone who has seen thousands of trees but has never seen a forest. A knowledge of the historic and philosophical background gives that kind of independence from prejudices of his generation from which most scientists are suffering. This independence created by philosophical insight is—in my opinion—the mark of distinction between a mere artisan or specialist and a real seeker after truth."

                      Albert Einstein, letter to Robert Thornton

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 12:12 AM

For now I'm content to be a seeker of MOAB and hauling it back up from the bottom of the page.

         o!
       G

      u
    o
   Y

..p
U


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 12:45 AM

MOAB is like that--thousands of trees, but only one forest. Ya know what I mean???



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 01:12 AM

I've seen trees. I've seen forests. I've also seen lots of frogs. What I've never seen is a yurt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 11:00 AM

Come to Pocatello. The city owns two or three yurts. I'm going back today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 11:19 AM

Don't play with your swords in the yurt or you'll pierce the walls and have to avoid the draft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 11:52 AM

Rapaire is not a draft-dodger; he just chills in the face of blows.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 12:35 PM

The more it goes on, the sillier it gets. Not only was there a flaky pastry bun shellacked and put on display in Nashville, because it "looked just like Mother Teresa", but now someone broke in and stole the damn thing!

Nun Bun stolen from Tenn. coffeehouse



Associated Press

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - When Bob Bernstein arrived at his coffeehouse to assess the scene of an early Christmas morning break-in, the one thing he noticed missing was the cinnamon bun that bears a striking likeness to Mother Teresa.

Bernstein said he believes that the culprit is someone angry over the shop displaying the world-famous pastry, which has been preserved with shellac. A jar of money next to the Nun Bun was not stolen.
"They went right for the bun," he said. "Unfortunately I think it's somebody who wanted to take it to destroy it."

The Nun Bun gained worldwide attention in 1996 when a customer nearly took a bite of it before recognizing the revered nun in the folds of flaky pastry.

The bun was featured on world news programs, "The Late Show" with David Letterman and was even mentioned on episodes of "The Nanny" and "Mad About You."

The shop, Bongo Java, sold T-shirts, prayer cards and mugs with the bun's image before Mother Teresa wrote a personal letter to the coffeehouse asking the sales be stopped."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 01:33 PM

Maybe they can replace it with a potato chip that looks like Bob Hope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 05:48 PM

YEah, but seriously, who would buy a tee shirt or coffee mug with a picture of a potato chip on it??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:02 PM

We're closing in on 10,500. I wonder if William Shatner will make a brief cameo appearance?

Regarding the potatoe chip....just, please God, don't let it TASTE like Bob Hope!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:15 PM

Speaking of things bearing likenesses...

Does the image revealed in this dental x-ray most closely resemble:

A) Guitarist Eric Clapton circa 1974
B) Guitarist Pete Townshend circa 1974
C) A young rabbi/carpenter from Nazareth circa 0001
D) Bee-dubya's ex-brother-in-law Bill circa 1985


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 06:47 PM

It's gotta be "A". Shaggy, baggy, ready to rock & roll.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 07:49 PM

I think there was an episode of Star Trek that explains that image. Maybe Shatner will come back and explain it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 08:02 PM

Why does it always get to these pivotal numbers late at night? Staying up late just to ride shotgun for poachers. Might as well just run it up fast now. Over on the Raptor thread they're mimicking Hemingway. I'm sure we could think of something similar to keep MOM entertained for a little while and get past this next awkward stage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 08:12 PM

And there was a remark over on the Raptor thread that was wrong--referring to Moby Dick. They "flenze" whales, the don't "fletch" them.


Oh, the days were slow and packed with woe, till I thought they would never end;
And I used to sit when the fire was lit, with my pipe for my only friend.
And I tried to sing some rollicky thing, but my song broke off in a prayer,
And I'd drowse and dream by the driftwood gleam; I'd dream of a polar bear;
I'd dream of a cloudlike polar bear that blotted the stars on high,
With ravenous jaws and flenzing claws, and the flames of hell in his eye.
And I'd trap around on the frozen ground, as a proper hunter ought,
And beasts I'd find of every kind, but never the one I sought. . . .


You get the idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 05 - 10:08 PM

RObert Service.

Flenzing is one term for the slicing of strips of blubber from the side of a whale.

Early whalers used cold harpoons, in the form of metal or wooden spears with rope or cable attached, and usually barbed to prevent their release from the whale. Most of the first commercial whalers used hand harpoons, and later cold harpoons fired by cannons or guns. Explosive harpoons were not invented until the latter half of the nineteenth century.
The early cold harpoons rarely if ever caused instant death - multiple wounds, long chases and secondary measures such as the use of rifles, knives and clubs were required to kill the whales. Frequently animals were killed by flenzing (cutting them up).


And the never forgotten stanza:

Now we have got him turned up,
We tow him alongside;
We over with our blubber hooks,
And rob him of his hide.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 12:54 AM

Yup. Have you seen some of the photos of that work? Gruesome job. There's a Jacques Cousteau book about Whales that includes several such shots.

Another recent Mudcat discussion (started by our own Rapaire, who thinks he's Mom's favorite, but well, when he's gone so often I don't know how he can justify that illusion) had to do with trains and got into getting train stuff at eBay. I spent a little time at eBay myself this evening, hoping to snag a wonderful little NW Coast basket, but the reserve price was beyond where I was willing to reach. Probably way higher than my fairly substantial bid. It's probably not a good idea to put myself deeper in debt just in time for the New Year anyway.

Amos, it's your watch with Mom now since you're out west and it's early yet where you are. I'm headed for a hot bath, mostly to keep company with the poor kitty who is confined to the back bathroom while her most recent wound drains (inflicted by the vet who drained and packed an abscess on her chest). I'll soak and said cat will perch on the edge of the tub, and after I wash my hair she'll purr and rub and offer to groom it into place for me. (Well, it makes her happy, and that's what counts when she isn't feeling so good).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 08:15 AM

Oh, Mom just lets him think that because he might do something bad with swords otherwise.

Cats in bathrooms really should be a PhD thesis. SOmetimes they like to attack you on your very throne, or inspect the doings, or sit purring on the tank top. They love bubble baths -- as long as someone else is taking them!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:32 AM

You think that I'm not here yet, but I am. And I'm going to go to Texas and San WhereverthehellAmosis and take my sword and carve a big "P" on you guys because my secret identity is "Perro" (Don Diego de la Vega's illegitimate halfbrother on his Aunt Ethel's jigglelow's cousin's best friend's side) and Perro makes "The Sign of the P".

Sure, I've only had about 5 hours sleep and I have to meet with the mayor in about 90 minutes and then go to work and approve a bunch of credit card purchases and then call the Zoo Keeper back about a kiddy lit program the Rotaries want to do and I have to spread joy and cheer about the staff and public and go to the grocery store and get my Z-series transformer back and EVERYTHING because when I DO go away everything here and I include just goes completely to HELL and I have to fix it when I get back and Mom, Stilly and Amos are making snide comments about my sword handling so I'm going to go carve the Sign of the P on them, okay Mom?











Thanks. I knew you'd approve.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:39 AM

Don't worry, Rapaire. You really ARE Mom's favorite. Everybody knows that. You are. Say hi to the Mayor for me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:44 AM

Rap - I don't care is she *does* say it is okay...

DO NOT 'P' on MOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 10:39 AM

No "P" on Mom is right!

Pee is for the back yard. I take a handful of little dog treats when I let the girls out last thing at night and when I tell these two canine pals to "pee" and they finally get around to it then I offer each one her dog biscuit. One of these days they'll figure out how to pee on command.

Don't fall asleep on your forearms at your desk today, Rapaire. Go home at lunch and take a power nap. It'll work wonders for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 11:05 AM

Well, shit. The dog did it again. Every time I think I've found her escape route and make an adjustment back there, she waits a couple of days to make me think I got it right, then she goes back to going over the fence again. This time I'm headed to Home Depot for those heavy guage wire clamps for the top of the fence and I'm going to put extras in so there is no gap wider than about 10 inches.

This is sport for this dog. She's happy here, she has company and gets fed and has human companions. I think she's trying to get Gluon's attention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:04 PM

The mayor said, "Tell Amos 'Hi!'" He remembers you from that time in Uzbekistan when you and he and two lovely Uzbek girls...something about moonlight in the mountains and kvass and I don't know what all because he was reminiscing with a far-away look in his eyes when I quietly left. He was certain you'd remember.


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