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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 29 Dec 05 - 02:15 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 Dec 05 - 02:18 PM
MMario 29 Dec 05 - 02:37 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 02:49 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 02:54 PM
MMario 29 Dec 05 - 02:57 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 Dec 05 - 02:58 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 03:08 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 Dec 05 - 03:08 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 03:10 PM
MMario 29 Dec 05 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 03:24 PM
Acme 29 Dec 05 - 05:01 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 05:37 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 05 - 05:42 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 06:33 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 05 - 06:50 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 05 - 07:22 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 07:41 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 08:53 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 05 - 09:00 PM
Amos 29 Dec 05 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 05 - 11:13 PM
Acme 30 Dec 05 - 12:25 AM
Rustic Rebel 30 Dec 05 - 12:55 AM
MMario 30 Dec 05 - 08:47 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 05 - 08:58 AM
Amos 30 Dec 05 - 10:22 AM
Acme 30 Dec 05 - 10:54 AM
Amos 30 Dec 05 - 11:18 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 05 - 11:51 AM
Amos 30 Dec 05 - 12:07 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 05 - 05:10 PM
Amos 30 Dec 05 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 05 - 09:56 PM
Amos 30 Dec 05 - 09:57 PM
Acme 30 Dec 05 - 11:52 PM
Amos 31 Dec 05 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 05 - 10:36 AM
Amos 31 Dec 05 - 11:31 AM
Acme 31 Dec 05 - 12:16 PM
Amos 31 Dec 05 - 12:16 PM
Amos 31 Dec 05 - 12:23 PM
Rustic Rebel 31 Dec 05 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 05 - 01:45 PM
Amos 31 Dec 05 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 05 - 11:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:15 PM

Oh, yes; oh, yes. Indeed, I do remember it well. Lila and Uthe. Well-formed in the best XML tradition. No-one does summer moonlight in the mountains better than an Uzbek lass, even if you get a little saddle-sore getting there.

And those yaks!!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:18 PM

Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and armadillos are the only animals besides humans that can get leprosy. Just thought you all might like to know that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:37 PM

actually the armidillo is NOT the only animal besides humans that can contract leprosy.

Although culture of M. leprae has never been achieved in artificial media, the bacterium may be grown in several experimental animals, including the armadillo, non-human primates, and to a certain extent, rodents. Naturally acquired leprosy has been reported in wild nine-banded armadillos (Dasypus novemcinctus) and in three species of non-human primates (chimpanzees [Pan troglodytes], sooty mangabey monkeys [Cercocebus atys] and cynomolgus macaques [Macaca fascicularis])",


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:47 PM

Rustic, answer me this. You go away for a year and a day, your light hidden in the far reaches of non-cyberspace, leaving us all to struggle along somehow without your bright presence, and you come back after all this time away and all you have to say is that emus can't walk backwards??

Are you okay? How was your trip? Welcome back!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:49 PM

Are you talking about the historical "disease" called leprosy, or Hansen's Disease? Mycobacterium leprae, according to the CDC, has not been grown in media but has been grown in mouse foot pads. And if you are talking about Hansen's Disease, do you mean the paucibacillary multibacillary type?

Historically, "leprosy" could have been any of several diseases, including tertiary syphillis.

What is obvious, however, is to be careful with mouse foot pads. Mouse pads, however, can generally just be wiped clean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:54 PM

I didn't know that that was 10,500....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:57 PM

oh -- yerah! Sure you didn't know!

BTW- Did you wash you hands after you went to 'P'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:58 PM

Oh yes the monkeys. The monkeys have their fair share of mouse-foot pad syphillis. This I know to be a fact because it has come into my head and anything that just pops into my head is basically my fact. It doesn't mean it has to be anyone elses fact but certainly it must be mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 02:59 PM

I have never seen a mouse-pad with monkey-foot syndrome, no matter how depressed it was. Mostly they keep on rolling, at least until they get too oily, or covered with office lint. Solipcism, now, that's a different story altogether.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:08 PM

Sir, at Case Western Reserve University we were taught not to "P" on our hands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:08 PM

A camel's milk doesn't curdle.(This might also be my fact or it could be complete bullshit)
Take that yak and stick it in your butter churn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:10 PM

I, myself, use a track ball both at work and at home, for work and for play, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:21 PM

Camel milk will curdle. It is slower to curdle then most other dairy animal milk - but it does curdle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 03:24 PM

Mare's milk is used to make kvass, as Amos knows all too well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 05:01 PM

No leprosy on my track ball either. Thank goodness--I have enough other stuff to keep me busy, I don't need to be sending my track ball to Hawaii.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 05:37 PM

I don't think that I'd like leprosy on my balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 05:42 PM

It's not that emus can't walk backwards, they just don't choose to.

Also, Shatner did not choose to drop in for post 10,500. Same basic principle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:33 PM

Can Shatner walk backwards, should he choose to do so? Does he have leprosy on his balls? Can he waltz with bears? Leap tall buildings with a single bound? Is he more powerful than a locomotive? A car? A tricycle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:50 PM

Those are a lot of questions.

I've seen Shatner walk backwards AND talk at the same time!

He is a man who can do anything he decides to do, and who can boldly go anywhere he wants to go. The paucity of his appearances on this thread is an indication of its real value...

Infinitesimal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 06:53 PM

I hope you don't get leprosy on your balls, either, sir; I would not wish to see your business fall off.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 07:22 PM

My business, sir, unlike yours, is not dependent upon the condition of my balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 07:41 PM

As well not, sirrah, or there'd be too little business to mention.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 08:53 PM

Well, there's nothing like greasy, dusty balls to prevent proper functioning. Mouse balls can be hell to remove, but other balls are generally pretty simple to keep clean. I usually use a bent paper clip to remove mouse balls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:00 PM

(Heh! Heh!) I can see, Amos, that this affair of honor may require me to summon my seconds, select an appropriate set of deadly weapons, and arrange to give you the comeuppance you so richly deserve.

(or have we been through this before...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 09:00 PM

I am sure the mice in your area dream of a similar revenge, Sir!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 05 - 11:13 PM

I have a smallsword! Mice do not have such, nor would they be permitted arms as they can hardly be considered gentlemen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 12:25 AM

No small swords here. I use a ballpoint pen to poke the ball out of my mouse (track ball).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 12:55 AM

MMario follow me to the corner over here will you my man,,,,,,,,,,



(This must be a whisper between you and myself..
Birds can carry a shit further than a human person. They can also transmit a parasite that creates a type of leperosy to monkeys that make emus look like they can do a moondance on Jupiter with a jaunt. Mice can pick that rhumba up when they are inside the belly of a hungry leapord and transmit a curdled milk scream to an armidillo 250 miles from inside a space craft moving swiftly.)
MMario- let's just keep this info to ourselves, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 08:47 AM

RR: - use your secret decoder ring - I'd whisper butthat's still too loud.

RR - no offense was intended...*grin* I just run across these various urban legends and like to debunk them when I see them. Unfortunately the amount of trivia accdumulating in my skull means I know that a LOT of *truths* people spread are acutally false. Again, sorry if it caused any offense


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 08:58 AM

I will say it long and say it loud:

Theodore Sturgeon was not aggressive enough in formulating his Law. MUCH MUCH more than 95% of everything is crap! Lots more! In fact, the entire Universe may be crap! There might not have been a "Big Bang" but a "Big Crap." A violent discharge from the rumbling guts of the Universe, a diarrhetic blowout of cosmic proportions. And if so, there will be no eventual "coming together" to form another in a series of endless "Big Bangs," but a huge, massive, overwhelming flushing sound will someday be heard, the Universe will swirl around (counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, of course) and with a loud gurgle and plop will vanish into the sewer pipes of the Infinity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 10:22 AM

Little Hawk:

I would gladly meet you on any terms you name on the field of honor; but I fear you would never be able to find it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 10:54 AM

If he can't find that particular field I can offer up a patch of prairie for you two to use.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 11:18 AM

And if he fails to appear, as seems likely, we'll find some other use for that patch.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 11:51 AM

Mr. Amos:

You are impugning the honor (or, as he is Canadian and spells funny, honour) of my friend, Mr. Little Hawk. Sir, I cannot stand idly by while you do this. It is incumbent upon me to ask you to meet me so that you can wash out the stain of this with your blood. To this end, I have reserved the Idaho Legion's Memorial Softball Field and Field of Honor for tomorrow morning at dawn; a chirgeon will be present to staunch your blood, if possible, and bind your wounds. An undertaker will also be present and it is far more probable that you will be in need of her services than those of Ol' Doc Trey.

The choice of weapons is, of course, yours. I will recommend to your attention, however, that the Idaho Dueling Administration will not sanction anything other than rapiers or pistols of at least 12.7mm caliber.

Should you fail to appear, or should you appear and delope, you will be posted as a coward in Hank's Feed and Grain.

I remain, Sir, your friend,
Mr. Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 12:07 PM

My dear Rapaire,

What a bold, brave, and virtuous gesture on your part. It gives me great comfort to know that at least parts of our fair forum are peopled by men and owmen of such character, integrity, and courage; to march to the Champs d'Honneur in defense of a friend is a spiritual statement of the first order.

However, this entire spark-up has begun because of a simple misunderstanding. So I will offer a simple explanation in the hopes that a clarification of the history of the situation will relieve you of the burden of your admirable, if over-zealous, willingness to stand in harm's way on Little Hawk's behalf.

This all started because a post was interjected in the flow of rtime between one that I was responding to and my response to it. I made a remark in answer to something you said about not wanting your balls to get leprosy, and I concurred, suggesting that I would rather not see your business fall off.

But Little Hawk has posted in the interim, and so it appeared i was addressing him with my remarks, and he, in his typical zealous fashion, came up with a quick, if medicore, rejoinder. This, in turn, let me to rebut his rejoinder, and the next thing you know, he was taking umbrage because of a series of remarks which in the first place he tool out of context and misappropriated.

So you see, there is no call for wild-eyed heroism on either of your parts. It was a simple misunderstanding multiplied by the leverage of cyberspace, nothing more.

Do let me know this has clarified the matter, so I can cancel the insurance policy I have taken out on your head. Old people are SO expensive to insure anymore...

With best regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 05:10 PM

Dear Amos,

As always, your writing had brought light into darkness and so I withdraw my previous message. I have cancelled my reservation of the Legion's Softball Field and Dueling Grounds and the holes have been filled in. I have also notified the Idaho Dueling Commission, but I must tell you that Hank down at Hank's Feed and Grain was looking forward to something to cover the hole in his wall, the one that Louielouie made when he threw the pig through it, but I'll get him a bus schedule to paste over it. Hank can't read anyway, so he'll never know the difference.

Your friend,
Rapaire, BA, MS, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 09:31 PM

Your are a gentleman, sir and I commend you on your skills of preserve de soi.

You may be interested, as an outdoorsman, to know that a new Unified Theory of Animal Locomotion has been developed by scientists who can now account for all walking, swimming, squirming, side-winding, bustling, trotting, galloping, cantering, flying, gliding, swooping (fell and otherwise) and stooping, leaping, limping, loping and soaring, wobbling, skintering, hopping, galumphing, ambling and zooming that occurs among animals of every species.

Or so the story claims.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 09:56 PM

Did I mention that on December 27th I became a great-uncle for the second time? Andrew Casper (8 pounds, 6 ounces) was born at 7:30 a.m. that day. His brother, Xavier, is now almost two years old. Mother and father are doing fine, grandma is there, and my brother is also quite pleased (and lonesome, with grandma in Michigan).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 09:57 PM

I am sorry to report, as well, that a recent Survey shows Americans' personal misery has increased since early 1990s. This may be a reflection of the National Debt, or it may be a case of cultural polarization taking its toll, but what ever the cause, it is sorry news.

I am happy to add, to offset the bad news, that African elephants, it has been learned, are mimetic in the same way parrots are, and imitate the sounds of their environment. This strikes me as good news, although I cannot say why; perhaps it means there are fewer larg e lorries in Africa that was first believed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 05 - 11:52 PM

Is this a non-PC remark about large women named Lori, or are you happy to know there aren't so many trucks there?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 12:01 AM

I have always heard the rumbling of large trucks whenever I imagine how things are in sub-Saharan AFrica. I am now convinced that at least 20% of this impression was due tothe mimicry of traffic sounds by elephants, and am thus relieved. I don't know any large African women by that name. If I did I am sure they wold be perfectly nice people.

Rapaire, congratulations on the continued vibrancy of your DNA pool. I have just learned (I can't recall if I mentioned it or not) that my foster-son is to become a father in 8.75 months. We are thrilled.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 10:36 AM

Happy New Year's Eve, Mom. I'll be alone tonight and at home, so I won't be getting all likkered up like you told me not to get. This is not because I don't want to, Mom, but because I never get invited anywhere (except to the Legion Hovel and the party THERE has been shut down by various wives and girlfriends, not to mention the Idaho State Police, BATF, the Bannock County Sheriff, the Pocatello Police Department, the FBI, the Health Department, and the Veneral Disease Registration Law). You remember that I was always the last chosen for games when I was in school, don't you Mom? I was even the last one chosen for one-on-one pickup basketball games, and that was embarassing. I mean, when you're playing "HORSE" with your brothers and you're the last one chosen? And you're doing the chosing? No, I'll probably just sit in the dark, cringing from another year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 11:31 AM

Rapaire, you are such a cut-up.

I was also a last-chosen, but not at Horse. That's why we're both incorrigble loudmouths and know-it-alls. We're compensating for our unhappy youths, victims of the Little LEague tyranny. Sigh.....

We too are staying home this New Year's Eve, and will probably turn in early. Wotta lot of old farts.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 12:16 PM

But Pat must be out cutting a rug somewhere tonight if Rapaire is home alone. Ask her to bring you a plate of cookies or something else sweet as a nice tidbit. A doggie bag for the hubby.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 12:16 PM

But, in any case, my very best wishes for a grand New Year full of pleasant surprises to all ye Sprites and Muses of the MOAB!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 12:23 PM

Well, I wasn't gonna ask why Pat isn't home too, holding his hand and comforting him for Not Being Chosen First. Sigh.

Prophets in their own lands are never recognized properly.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 01:33 PM

Happy Party Night to those that party tonight. Merry and joy filled New Year to all.



MMario-(Whisper)

Dear MMario- Offended? Me? No my sweet, I offend but I don't get offended very easy. This is a BS thread after all! I actually loved it that you de-bunked the bunk, either way- emu's still can't do a moondance on Jupiter with a jaunty!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 01:45 PM

Pat is currently in Lancaster, PA with her friend Mary, visiting museums and trying to figure out where the cotton used by the North during the Civil War came from.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 10:48 PM

What I want to know is who set up the first micro-second? The one that initialized the Big Bang conditions, presumably strung all the strings and queered all the quarks in their current majesty?

If it was an implosion from some other universe's black hole, as Hawkings implies, then...redux ad claritum.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 05 - 11:08 PM

Gluon, I'll betcha!

All you Mothers, have a Happy Nude Year! Er, a Happy Newt Year. I mean a Nappy Yew Near.

Oh, hell, you know what I mean.

And you too, Mom....


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